Chapter 34

"Myaaah!" Grim exclaimed as soon as we entered the Pomefiore Dorm lounge for the audition. "There's a ton of competition here!" Indeed, the place was packed.

"There's gotta be like fifty people," said Ace.

"O-oh no, I'm tensing up already," said Deuce, eyes wide. "I-I th-think I'm b-blanking out on the song lyrics!"

"It's alright," I said, patting his back.

"You'll be fine if you just chill," said Ace.

"Ooh, what's this?" said Cater, wandering over to us. "A2 and the Ramshackle duo? You guys are here for the SDC auditions too, huh?"

"Hey, Cater!" said Grim. "Yeah, how about you?"

"Got it in one. The event's happening at our school, and I hear Vil's gonna be in it this year. What could be cooler than competing on stage against a mega-celeb with five million Magicam followers?"

"Deuce took it way too seriously, but you're being way too shallow about it..." said Ace.

"Pfft. I'm pretty sure most people here are like me, actually. Check out Exhibit A over there." Cater nodded at Ruggie.

"Hm-hm-hmmm, hm-hmm! Hmm," Ruggie hummed. "I'm not much of a singer, but I'm sure I can make up for that with my dance moves. I'm taking my share of that fifty thousand thaumark prize!"

"Myah! Of course he wants the money," said Grim.

"Ah, hello, Cater," Lilia said, popping down from the ceiling. "Fancy seeing you here."

"WHOA!" we all shouted.

"Khee hee hee! A perfect reaction. Heartslabyul students are always so full of vim and vigor."

"C'mon, Lils, you're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days!" said Cater.

"Ah, you're the one who always pops in upside- down," I said.

"Khee hee hee... Indeed I am," said Lilia. "Lilia Vanrouge, surprise delivery boy, at your service."

"Oh yeah, Ona," said Grim. "You said we got a holiday greeting card from an unknown sender, right? Ain't this the guy right here?"

"Ah, but you'll find that the initials on the card differ from my own. Khee hee hee... You'll find out who sent it soon enough."

"I have an idea..." I said.

"So, Lils," said Cater. "Are you auditioning for SDC too?"

"Mhm," said Lilia. "I belong to the Pop Music Club, so I would be remiss to sit out on a musical presentation. I invited Malleus to join me, but he declined, claiming he had no desire to be put on display for humans. He's a surprisingly shy boy, you know."

"I'm... not sure your definition of 'shy' is the same as mine... Gotta give you props for bravery, though. It takes guts to prod a bigwig like Malleus into doing an audition."

"Events like these are part of campus life. I thought it would do him some good to give it a whirl, but so it goes. And yourself? I'm surprised you didn't invite your partner, Trey."

"Oh, I did. But alas, I got jilted! Riddle's the chairman of the Culture Fair Management Committee, and Trey's busy assisting him."

"Ah, of course."

"So! How's about we take an audition selfie as jilted buddies?"

"Certainly. Come, freshmen. Join us."

"Uh, you want us in the picture?" said Deuce.

"Nobody rejected us, y'know," said Grim.

"Floyd sort of did, if that counts," I said.

"It doesn't matter!" said Cater. "YOLO." Shrugging, my friends and I gathered around Cater and Lilia. "One, two... yay!"

"Yaaay!" said Lilia. We moved away as soon as Cater snapped the picture.

"Hashtag #NRC #SDCAuditions #TotallyPassing #JiltedBoiz And, posting...now."

"Y'know, considering Malleus's reputation..." said Ace. "I always saw Diasomnia as a cold, unapproachable kinda dorm. But you're always warm and friendly, huh?"

"Come on, you know better than that," said Cater. "Our dorm's got polar opposites, too. Just look at Riddle versus me and you!"

"Now that you mention it, it's true," said Deuce. "Housewarden Rosehearts is terrify—uh, a real stickler for the rules. But that makes me wonder... When the Dark Mirror talks about the nature of our souls being suited to a certain dorm, what's the deal there?"

"Khee hee hee... A true learning experience is living among people who think differently than you do," said Lilia. "Let me provide an example. Ignihyde has a reputation for being home to introverts who mislike having any sort of attention called to themselves. Yet one of their students is auditioning today." He motioned to a kid with flaming blue hair in a high-tech suit.

"Ooh! That's Idia's baby bro," said Cater. "It's not every day he flies solo."

"You're not kidding about the baby part," said Ace. "Dude looks like a grade schooler. And that getup! It's like he's some kinda superhero."

"Oh, I guess you froshes wouldn't know that story," said Cater. "Idia Shroud, housewarden of Ignihyde, brought his brother Ortho with him when he enrolled."

"What?!" Deuce and Ace exclaimed.

"You can DO that?" I said.

"I didn't share any classes with Idia until I started my junior year," said Cater, "so I'm not totally up on all the deets, but... He brings his brother to most of his classes. The teachers never even bat an eye at it."

"I know brothers can be close, but taking a brother with you to school is nuts!" said Deuce.

"This Idia guy's got a few screws loose, if you ask me," said Grim.

"Don't talk that way about my brother!" the boy shouted, suddenly in front of us.

"Whoa!" Grim exclaimed.

"Does everybody in this school have super hearing?" Ace said in a low voice. "This lounge's buzzing with people, and we were over ten meters apart."

"The directional mic my brother installed in me can pick up human whispering fifty meters away," said the boy.

"Oho! Impressive," said Lilia. "Not even the fae and beastmen have many capable of that."

"Heh heh! I know, right? My brother's amazing! ...Ahem. Anyway, Idia got permission from the headmage to let me come with him to class. He's not desperately lonely or anything, okay?"

"O-oh, gotcha," said Cater. "Sorry about that. My bad! You Shroud bros are this mysterious, almost legendary presence on campus. Guess I got a little carried away talking about you."

"Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for getting all huffy about it. I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about Idia."

"We're sorry, too," I said. "There's nothing wrong with being close to family."

"Bee tee dubs, Orthy, are you here for the SDC audition, too?" Cater asked.

"Yes, that's right!" said Ortho. "See, my brother..." He explained how Idia had been working on text-to-speech and wanted to test it out by installing a voice synthesizer within Ortho. What was he, some kind of robot? "...So my brother's been getting big into making vocal synthesizers. Since he went to a whole lot of trouble developing and polishing this, I want to see how far I can go with it. That's why I'm here auditioning."

"Wait, he PROGRAMMED a singing voice?" said Ace. "Are you for real?!"

"Hah hah hah! I see the Ignihyde housewarden's reputation as a technomantic engineering savant is well-deserved," said Lilia. "He gets some inspired ideas."

"That's p. legit, actually!" said Cater. "Programming voice synthesis software and posting songs you make with it has taken off big time. I'm a fan of electropop stuff, myself."

"I got no idea what any of you are talkin' about," said Grim.

"Really, Grimmy? You've never seen a virtual idol before? Here, lemme show you a clip. Let's see..." Cater stared intently at his phone. "Ah, hold up. Gotta sit through a commercial without skipping to watch this for free." He held his phone out so we all could see.

"I'll share a secret with you: this is no ordinary drink," said a beautiful boy holding a drink. "It's a magic wishing drink! One sip, and all your wishes come true. A loving red with a sparkling pop. Red Apple Soda, on sale now."

"Ooh, that's the drink commercial people have been talking about lately," said Cater. "I gotta stay on top of the latest hotness! I'll drop by the school store later and check it out."

"Ah, that Neige fellow in the commercial there..." said Lilia, "he came up at a recent housewarden meeting. He's going to be appearing at this year's SDC, you know."

"What?!" said Ace. "That guy's a major celebrity! And he's showing up for THIS?"

"This competition's attracting some serious heavyweights," said Deuce. "Now I really have to up my game..."

"If I make it in, do you think I could get a selfie with Neige?" said Cater.

"You're a shameless fanboy sometimes, Cater," said Ace.

"Look, Neige is THE hottest Magicammer out there. If I get my chance, you bet I'm taking that shot. Pun intended. And if I could get Vil and Neige in the shot together with me? I just KNOW I'd go viral."

"Hey, Cater!" said Grim. "Can you hold your phone lower? I can't see the screen at all!"

"I could project it on the wall for you, if you like," said Ortho.

A loud slam interrupted out conversation. Vil strode to the front of the room, making a grand entrance with bright light and sparkles. "Silence, spuds!" he said.

"Whoa, that's bright!" said Deuce. "What's with the sparkles?"

"I'm seein' stars over here!" said Grim.

"I guess he calls everyone potatoes," I said.

"I find it difficult to believe that anyone on this campus would be ignorant of who I am," said Vil, "but courtesy dictates an introduction all the same. I am Vil Schoenheit, housewarden of Pomefiore. This year, the headmage has assigned me a duty... To select entrants to compete in the Song & Dance Championship. We will now begin the ensemble auditions. Rook, take it away."

"Oui, Roi du Poison," said Rook. "I am Rook Hunt, vice housewarden of Pomefiore. A pleasure to make your acquaintances."

"Oh hey, it's the weirdo who was takin' audition applications," said Grim. "That guy's a vice housewarden?"

"We will have each of you perform the assigned set piece. You will be evaluated separately for singing and dancing. The auditions will be in groups of three. Come inside when your name is called."

So, my friends and I waited... and waited. Gradually, everyone disappeared. Soon, we were the only ones left. Finally, Rook opened the door and said, "Ace Trappola. Deuce Spade. Grim and Ona. You may all enter."

"Finally, our time to shine!" said Grim.

"Yeah!" said Ace. "Let's bag this audition."

"We've come this far," said Deuce. "I can't crumble now. Let's do this!" We scurried into the room and stood before VIl.

"Why, if it isn't the unwashed spuds that so foolishly challenged me to a fight," said Vil. "I do hope you've improved from the embarrassingly awkward show you put on then."

"Heh heh! We've been puttin' in work, all right," said Grim. "Time to show you the moves we picked up from Scarabia!"

"I'm delighted to see you audition," said Rook. "Merci!"

"We'll just see if you think we're 'embarrassing' and 'inelegant' this time!" said Ace.

"Keep talking, spudling," said Vil. "If you want my approval, prove to me your worth."

"Et c'est parti!" said Rook. "Show us what you can do!" And so, we started our song and dance. We paused at the interlude in the middle. "Hm. You are like little birds who have just learned how to spread their wings. Yes, you are so naive! So innocent! Beauté! Full marks!"

"Ugh... Must you praise every performance so uncritically?" said Vil.

"Full marks?!" said Deuce. "We must be towards the top, then!"

"I doubt it's that easy," said Ace. "We can't let our guards down in the second half." So, we continued. I thought we did pretty well. At the end, we paused, waiting for our evaluation.

"How'd you like that?!" said Grim. "We were perfect!"

"You're done?" said Vil. "Then hurry and get out."

"What, you're not gonna grade us?" said Ace.

"Please excuse us!" said Deuce, steering the rest of us out of the room. We did not have to wait long before Rook entered the lounge.

"Attention, entrants," he said, "the audition is now over. We will notify the group that passes tomorrow. You will receive either some news, or no news!"

"So we find out tomorrow?" said Grim. "Now I'm gettin' all antsy."

"I was a whole key off during the A melody..." said Deuce.

"Singing and dancing sure burns a lot of energy," said Ace. "Let's get back to the dorm and eat!"

"Let's go too, Grim," I said. The four of us left Pomefiore. We had done our best, now all we could do was wait for the results.

Life returned to normal after the auditions - at least for a day. "Trein caught me napping in Magic History," Ace complained as we walked down the hall. "Now I've got extra homework!"

"He's using a sleep spell on us so he can load us up with more work," said Grim. "I just know it!"

"I put rubber band on my wrist to keep myself awake," said Deuce. "Any time I start to get sleepy, I pull it back and snap it."

"That seem kinds drastic," said Ace.

"Maybe you guys should get to bed earlier," I said.

"You mean like Jack?" said Grim. "We're young here!"

I shrugged. "It was just a suggestion."

"Oh yeah, on another note," said Ace. "Isn't today the day they're announcing who passed the SDC auditions?"

"It's almost lunch break, and we ain't got any news." said Grim.

"If we haven't gotten anything yet, do you think we're out?" said Deuce, appearing worried.

"Let's give it more time," I said. Suddenly, something whizzed past us, causing all of us to jump.

"WHOA!" we cried.

"Wh-what was THAT?!" said Ace. "What just flew by?!"

"It buzzed past the tip of my nose!" said Deuce.

"There's an arrow in the wall!" I exclaimed.

"Myah! An arrow?!" said Grim, his eyes wide with fear. "What if there's an assassin out for our blood?!"

Ace looked around anxiously. "Where do you think they are?!" His eyes fell on the arrow. "Wait, hold up. This arrow's got a note tied to it."

"Say what?!" said Deuce. "Is it a challenge?"

"You need to stop assuming everything's a fight. Let's see here..." Ace pulled the note from the arrow and began to read. "'Thank you for taking part in the Song & Dance Championship auditions. The following two students have passed our rigorous screening process... Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade." Please report to the Pomefiore ballroom after school today.' ...Wait, what?"

"...We passed?" Deuce said incredulously.

"WHAAAAAAA?!" we all shouted.

"Th-that means we got selected for the ensemble, right?"

"What else would it mean?" said Ace. "Sweet! Now we don't have to help the housewarden!"

"Mrooow! What about me?!" Grim wailed. "My performance was top-tier!"

"I guess I didn't make it either," I said.

"Ah, hold up," said Ace. "There's more. 'P.S.: To Ona of Ramshackle Dorm. We have news for you, so please report to Pomefiore with the two addressees.' ...That's it."

"Why would they name me?" I asked.

"I guess we're all heading over to Pomefiore after school," said Deuce.

"Mrow... My four thousand cans of tuna..." Grim moaned.

I bent down and pat his head. "It will be alright." I had to admit, I was extremely curious to see what news was waiting for me. It was a bit difficult to sit through classes, but I managed. Soon enough, we were all headed to Pomefiore.

"I guess there's going to be more dancing and singing training for the selected ensemble members," Deuce commented while we walked.

"Well, yeah," said Ace.

"Grrr... I'm still sour that I lost to you two," said Grim.

"Hey, guys!" Kalim shouted, running up to us with Jamil.

"Oh, hey. It's Kalim and Jamil. What are you guys doin' here?"

"We passed the audition screening," said Grim. "Did you pass as well?"

"We sure did!" said Ace.

"So you performed well at audition!" Kalim said with a grin. "That's great!"

"They totally left ME out, though!" said Grim. "This really yank my tail..."

"I think even Vil would be hard-pressed to fit YOU on the team," said Jamil.

"Cheer up, Grim," said Kalim. "Want a cracker?"

Grim's eyes widened. "Urgh, not this again! Somebody tell this guy that cracker aren't the answer to everything."

"I didn't make it either," I said.

"Aw, that's too bad," said Kalim.

"You there," said a Pomefiore student, "the group of five with a cat. Halt!"

"Are you talking to us?" said Deuce.

"I see some you passed the SDC ensemble audition," said a second student.

"Yup!" said Kalim. "Vil asked to see us. Would you mind taking us to him?"

"Heh... Not so fast," said the first student. "Nobody simply waltzes into our dorm!"

"Huh?" said Ace, Grim, and Kalim.

"The gates of Pomefiore are open only to those who exhibit both beauty and strength!" said the second student. "The gauntlet is thrown. Pick it up!"

"Wait, I'm confused," said Kalim. "Why did he just throw a literal glove at us?"

"Stay sharp, Kalim!" said Jamil. "Incoming!"

For some reason, we were forced to battle these students. Fortunately, we outnumbered them enough that it did not take too much effort. "Rgh... You're not half-bad," the first student said after we beat them.

"Just remember," said the second student, "this is only the beginning. The road to true beauty is long and fraught with peril... Rgh..."

"Why in the world would they attack us unprovoked?" said Jamil.

"It's crazy," I said. "I would expect this kind of thing from Savanaclaw but not Pomefiore."

"Let's just get to the ballroom for now," said Deuce. We made it all the way to the lounge before we were confronted by two more Pomefiore students.

"You must be the ones who passed the audition!" said the first student.

"You got through the guys at the front gate, but they were just your warm-up," said the second student.

"Now you face us. Don't think for a minute that we'll let you reach our housewarden without a fight!"

"What?!" Ace shouted. "YOU guys invited US!"

"This isn't makin' any sense!" said Grim.

"Now, this is nuts," I agreed. We were forced into yet another battle. This one was more difficult because we were tired, but we still managed to win in a timely manner.

"Looks like this is it for me," said the first student, falling to the ground. "Alas..."

"I'm proud to have fought alongside you to the bitter end," the second student said dramatically. "We fall as brothers on this battlefield! ...Grk!" He fell down beside his friend.

"Oh, come on!" said Ace. "You don't get to act like tragic heroes when you're the ones who started it!"

"I'm starting to get the impression that Pomefiore is full of guys who like to spout nonsense," said Deuce. "Rook's just one example. Is that the nature of their souls?!"

"Could be," I said with a shrug.

"I think it's less about souls and more about relative values," said Jamil.

"Aha ha! Our school is so full of different kinds of people," said Kalim. "What fun!" Suddenly, two more students appeared down the hall.

"There they are!" said one of them. "It's the ensemble members!"

"By our honor as Pomefiore students, you shall not pass!" said the other.

"Myah, another group!" Grim cried. "They just keep comin'!"

"Let's make a break for the ballroom," I said. We ran down the hallway, barely escaping our pursuers. We made it into the ballroom and slammed the door behind us. All of us bent over, panting.

"We finally made it to the ballroom!" said Deuce.

"Why is this happening to us?" said Ace.

"Why, because you've become ensemble members, of course," Vil said, appearing before us with another sparkling outfit.

"Myah!" Grim cried. "That's blinding!"

"I see none of you have dropped out. You pass, for now."

"Vil, what is going on here?" said Kalim.

"What else? A simple warm-up exercise. You got a full-body workout, did you not? Now we can get rehearsals underway immediately. Listen well: we are Night Raven College's selected representatives. We will be aiming for the top spot in the world, on the battlefield that is the Song & Dance Championship. I have no use for performers incapable of overcoming a little adversity. The battle for the figurative crown has already begun. As of this moment, there will be no more fun and games. I'll be whipping you all into presentable shape!"

"U-uh... I'm still confused, but whatever you say!"

"Is it just me, or is Vil giving off the same vibe as our housewarden?" Ace said in a low voice.

"Heartslabyul and Pomefiore are both based on the spirits of queens," Deuce said just as quietly. "Maybe they just gravitate to that...?"

"My my, Roi du Poison," said Rook. "I see you're taking off at full tilt right out of the gate. You're so bright and dazzing that everyone else is stunned into inaction. Heh heh heh. Attention, ensemble members: first, allow me to congratulate you on passing. Bravo! Ace. Deuce. Kalim. Jamil. Epel. And finally, myself and Vil. The seven of us shall be a tribe from this day forth. I look forward to working with you all up through the SDC. Now go on, Monsieur Pommette, a word of introduction, if you would."

"Hello," Epel said in a soft voice. "My name is Epel. It's a pleasure to meet you..."

"Hey, hold up!" said Grim. "You left me and Ona outta that whole speech. Why'd you call us over when we already flunked out?"

"In my infinite generosity, I shall field that question!" said Crowley, popping up out of nowhere yet again.

"Myah! Headmage! Again with the poppin' outta thin air? You're scarin' the daylights outta me!"

"Me too!" I said.

"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Crowley. "I did not especially mean to conceal my presence, for what it's worth. Ahem. Anyway. Allow me to explain why you were summoned here with the ensemble members. Starting this weekend, we will have four weeks until the Song & Dance Championship kicks off. And I would be ever so appreciative if you could share Ramshackle Dorm as the site for their training camp!"

"TRAINING CAMP?" we all shouted.

"You want them to stay at Ramshackle Dorm?!" I said.

"Headmage," said Jamil, "why would we need to stay together at a training camp when it's already on campus? We all have our own dorms."

"It's a team-building exercise," said Crowley. "You come from different dorms, different class years, different birthplaces, different cultures... It is my hope that living together will help you foster a greater sense of camaraderie."

"It's true that first-rate music groups eat at the same table and sleep under the same roof to build rapport," said Vil.

"I considered Pomefiore as an option, but I feared that would make some members feel more out of their element than others. At Ramshackle Dorm, however, everyone would be starting from the same baseline."

"Th-this is still really sudden..." said Deuce.

"Yeaaah, I'm suddenly getting a powerful urge to drop out," said Ace.

"I think a mixed dorm training camp sounds like a blast!" Kalim said, grinning. "My only question is, would it be okay for both me and Jamil to be absent from Scarabia for a whole month?"

"Worry not, my boy," said Crowley. "I will be exercising my authority as headmage to support you all in whatever capacity you need. Oh, what a kindly soul I am!"

"What kind of time commitment are we talking about here, and does that include Grim and me?" I said. "I'm due at the Mostro Lounge soon..."

"Ah, yes, your assistance will be required at every practice. You will have little free time, so you will need to let Ashengrotto know you will need to take a few weeks off. He'll understand."

"You actually work for Azul?" said Jamil.

"Yeah, so what?" I said, shooting him a look.

"Jamil, we should visit her while she's working!" Kalim said excitedly.

"No, we should not," Jamil said flatly.

Crowley cleared his throat. "So, it is in Night Raven College's best interest to take other schools down a peg and win the title of 'the world's greatest' for ourselves."

"Hold your horses, Crowley," said Grim, crossing his arms, "If we ain't in the ensemble, why should we contribute to this at all? I don't want anything to do with it!"

"Really, Grim? Are you certain of that? You know, if you find it in your heart to share your dorm for the training camp, there might be something nice in it for you..."

"Myah?" Grim looked at him suspiciously." Wh-what kinda 'nice' are we talkin' here?"

"Should our team win first place, Rook and I will donate our shares of the prize to Ramshackle Dorm," said Vil.

I stared at him in shock. "What? But we're not even competing."

"It is a pittance to me—hardly worth the time it would take to enter it into my ledger."

"It's only fitting to provide proper compensation to those contributing to Vil's cause," said Rook.

"So, if you split fifty thousand thaumarks seven ways," said Grim, "then get two shares of that, uhhh..."

"It's about 14,200 thaumarks," said Jamil.

"Mrooow! That... That could buy me way more than four thousand cans of tuna!"

"See?" said Crowley. "You could very well earn a fabulous prize merely by sharing rooms you're not using anyway and providing support. But you really want no part of it? What a shame. And here I was thinking of footing the bill for some renovations to the dorm's plumbing if you agreed to the camp idea." He sighed dramatically. "What a shame, truly. But I suppose I'll have to respect your decision and move on..."

"Rrrgh... This is my shot at a tuna bonanza..." Grim looked up at me. "Hey, Ona... What's your take on this?"

I hesitated. The idea of spending all my time in rehearsals did not appeal to me, especially if I would not be participating in the singing and dancing. I would have no time for my friends in Octavinelle. But if I didn't accept, I would have no time for Ace, Deuce, and Kalim. Plus, renovations would be nice... "Okay, we'll share the dorm."

"Really, now?" said Crowley. "So you'll contribute after all! Then I suppose I had best get arrangements for the training camp in order. Good luck honing your performance to a razor edge, entrants!" With that, he took his leave.

"The training camp became a done deal before we could get a word in edgewise..." said Deuce.

"No kidding," said Ace. "But I guess a change of pace won't hurt us. For one thing, staying at a training camp means no off-with-our-heads if we breach any of the Queen of Hearts' rules. We can take it easier than usual."

"First Scarabia has a training camp with Octavinelle, and now we're doing one with Heartslabyul and Pomefiore?" said Kalim. "This is going to be a rip-roaring time!"

"If that's your call as housewarden, so be it," said Jamil. "I'm not going to oppose you and make myself look bad in the process."

"Then our meeting is adjourned," said Vil. "It's time to get the rehearsal started!"

"Wait, I thought we weren't rehearsing until training camp starts," said Ace.

"Think again, Spudling One. You're all rank amateurs at singing and dancing. We don't have a moment to waste."

"Wonderful!" said Rook. "Let's play a song to kick off the NRC Tribe's shared journey."

Vil turned to me. "Start the music: 'Piece of My World!'"

"Right," I said. I wondered what I had gotten into now.