Chapter 36

Grim and I woke up early on Saturday to get ready for our guests. They all arrived at the same time. "Bonjour, Ona," Rook said, entering first. "Grim. We shall be availing ourselves of your hospitality for the next four weeks. Thank you for having us."

"Whatever it takes to get that tuna," said Grim.

"Welcome to our humble abode," I said.

"My," said Vil. "It's certainly cleaner than I was expecting."

"Thanks, I guess..."

"Hello..." said Epel.

"Ona!" Kalim said excitedly, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks for having us over."

I smiled as I returned the hug. "No problem."

Kalim walked in further, looking up. "Wow, the ceilings are so low in here. I'd hit my head if I tried to ride my magic carpet around."

Jamil sighed. "Maybe don't fly indoors at all. Ona, would you mind me share Kalim's room or take a room adjacent to his? This dorm is less secure than Scarabia, since you don't have to pass through a mirror to get here."

"I think you're overreacting, but that's fine with me if he's okay with it," I said. The question made me feel like I was a hotel manager or something. One time, Jade suggested I rent out some of the rooms in the dorm, especially the haunted ones. The memory made me smile.

"You're so paranoid, Jamil," said Kalim. "We haven't had a single assassination attempt on campus since I enrolled."

"It's not you I'm worried about," said Jamil, "it's me, if anything happens to you. Just because you were safe yesterday doesn't mean you'll be safe today."

"Jamil, I think you're the only one at Night Raven College who's ever wanted to hurt him," I said, earning a glare from him

"Hey, guys!" Ace said as he entered with Deuce.

"Thanks for having us, Ona," said Deuce. "Here, these are from Trey." He handed me two boxes.

"Ooh, what's in the boxes?" said Grim. "I smell a sweet treat!"

"It's a homemade chocolate cake and some apple pie, courtesy of Trey," said Ace.

"He said if we were imposing on another dorm's hospitality, we should at least bring gifts. What is he, our mom?"

I smirked. "Sounds like it."

"We can split it with everybody later."

"Myah hah! You can always count on Mr. Shrewd Specs to do the thoughtful thing," said Grim.

"I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate those gifts," said Vil.

"What?! Why?!"

"Gracious. Trey never changes, does he? He's the type of man one must truly watch himself around—the kind who spoils people rotten under the guise of knowing what's best."

Grim narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you gonna make up some nonsense about rules and throw out perfectly good food like Riddle?! Because I got some choice words for anybody that lets food go to waste!"

"Pardon? I never said anything about throwing it out." Vil turned to the others. "Anyway, all of you are to take your luggage and gather in the lounge. I have an important matter to discuss before we start." Everyone picked up their bags and walked into the lounge.

"So, Vil," said Kalim. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I want all of you to open your luggage and show it to me."

"Wait, what?" said Ace. "Shouldn't we wait until we get to our rooms to unpack?"

"Just do as I say." Vil waited until everyone opened their suitcases to display their contents. "...I knew it. Spudlings One and Two—would you care to explain these stashes of junk food and carbonated beverages? I see cookies, sugary candy, and chocolate bars."

"Sometimes I need a midnight snack," said Deuce.

"Since we're staying together for training camp, I thought it'd be nice to share some with Ona and the others," said Ace.

"And Kalim," said Vil, "containers of food comprise over half your luggage!"

"Yup!" said Kalim. "These are fried dough balls and a pastry called kanafeh. I had Jamil make them for me. They go great with nuts, cheese, and cream on top. I was going to share them with the group!"

"Jamil, you didn't pack any food, but what is this large cloth bundle?"

"It's a set of potions and medicinal herbs, so that I can formulate antidotes in the event of an emergency," said Jamil. "I'm sure you've got that covered with your mastery of potionology, but one can never be too careful with these things."

"That seems a bit... morbid. But no matter, I suppose. Epel, I trust that you knew better than to bring any candy?"

"Um... Y-yes, sir," said Epel. "But... I did bring a small snack. Dried apple chips. I made them myself."

"Nuts and dried fruits are acceptable in moderation. Lastly, Rook... I trust you. Really, I do. But your luggage consists of a single photo album—a thick tome, at that. Care to explain?"

"Ha ha. This is but a record of my life's work," said Rook. "I prefer to keep it close. It's a bit private. Opening it in front of everyone would be quite embarrassing..."

"I beg your pardon, then. Far be it from me to impinge upon someone else's privacy. Now then, with that out of the way... I hereby confiscate every sugar- and flour-based snack and drink present!"

"Whaaat?!" everyone exclaimed.

"But why?" said Kalim. "They're not poisoned, you know."

Vil gave him an odd look. "Again with the ghastly suggestions from the Scarabia duo! That is completely irrelevant here. What do you think this training camp is for? Your minds and bodies must all be polished to a mirror sheen for SDC. And mirrors must be unclouded, devoid of blemishes. Monosaccharides and oligosaccharides contribute to lethargy, while fats and spices can incite acneic breakouts. For the next four weeks, from now until the show, I am banning all snacks that detract from an optimum nutritional intake!"

"What?!"

"Don't worry, though. I've come up with a set of meals high in vitamins and proteins. I'll ensure that all of you have plenty of energy."

"Are you kidding?" said Ace. "I'm a growing boy, y'know."

"Is that a fact? I grew to 183 centimeters without any late-night snacking. What matters most for growth is a balanced diet and proper sleep. It is certainly not about snacking your way to an uneven complexion. Do try to remember the difference."

"Maaan... Are you for real?"

"Hey," said Grim. "You're not gonna stop US from eatin' that stuff, right? We're not even in the group."

"You're free to do as you wish, but do try not to eat them in the presence of our group," said Vil. "That would only add to their stress."

"I mean, he's right, but still," I muttered.

"Hah hah hah! This won't be so bad, really," said Rook. "Vil isn't going to be putting any of you on hard diets. He simply believes that eating right is a vital part of getting you all into competitive shape in the most efficient manner possible."

"N-no kidding," said Deuce. "People who aim for the top really are serious about this stuff, huh?"

"Heh. You think THIS is serious business?" said Vil. "Please. I am only laying down a foundation. Now, all of you put your things in your rooms and come back down. We're starting rehearsals right away."

"I'll show you all where to go," I said. I led the crew up the stairs to the spare rooms Grim and I had cleaned up. Then we all trudged back to the lounge. Vil announced it was time to start practice, so off we went to the Pomefiore ballroom.

"Come join me once you're done with your calisthenics," Vil said upon our arrival. "The song we'll be presenting at the Song & Dance Championship is now ready for us."

"Oh, so it's an original song?" said Jamil. "Pretty impressive for a school music presentation."

"Composing original tracks for the SDC has been the norm for several years now. Let me be clear about this undertaking. The SDC is not a beauty contest or fashion show. Scores are based on singing ability, dancing skill, and the degree to which a given song befits its performers."

"That criteria's... kind of vague," said Deuce.

"Look at it this way: you know how some people look odd or uncomfortable in certain clothing? It would negatively impact a group's score to select a song poorly suited to its members' vocal capabilities or general image. Imagine elementary schoolers performing gritty blues or heavy metal. No matter how good at singing they might be, the choice of song would inevitably clash with their aesthetics and vocal stylings. Selecting the perfect song for our group is critical to clicking with our audience."

"Ah, yes," said Jamil. "The audience votes on the finalists, don't they?"

"Correct. Winners and losers at the SDC are decided by popular vote. Each audience member, staff member, and entrant gets to cast one vote for their winning team."

"They let the entrants weigh in too?" said Kalim. "Wouldn't everyone just pick themselves, then? Everybody thinks they're number one! At least, I figure they would..."

"Amateurs may think that way. You would be surprised, though. Sometimes, the more capable you become, the harder it gets to endorse yourself. Sometimes, when you see a performance, all it takes is an instant to think, 'That's an act I could never follow.' Once you have that knowledge, lying to yourself about your worthiness becomes a sad thing indeed."

"I think I know what you mean, at least a bit," said Jamil.

"That's a good sign of integrity, I'll give you that," I said.

"Lying to yourself..." Epel murmured.

"That's why I strive my hardest to ensure that I can vote for myself with a clean conscience," said Vil. "Which brings us to the original song I had commissioned for us."

"Seeing you in side profile, gaze fixed upon the heavens above..." said Rook. "So radiant, Vil! So inspiring! Might we hear the song now?"

"Of course. Well, Manager? Would you mind pressing play on the audio player?"

"Are you talking to me?" I said.

"Who else would I be addressing? The headmage asked you to provide us with support, did he not? If you really want that prize money, you're working for us now."

"All right. You win." I turned on the music, and the song began to play.

"Whoa, this is the real deal!" said Ace.

"I like the rhythm!" said Kalim. "This is nice."

"Would this fall under the electronic dance music genre?" said Jamil. "If we're dancing to this, would we want to go with urban hip-hop? No, maybe hip-hop jazz?"

"I'm thinking urban hip-hop as a base, with touches of jazz, breakdancing, and voguing," said Vil. "We'll have three main vocalists. The rest of us will primarily focus on backup chorus and dancing."

"Aw, we're not all singing together?" said Kalim.

"Without a solid grounding in choral music, it would just sound like a cacophony. We're not going to get all seven of us on the same singing level in a month. Thus, it makes the most sense to devise idiosyncratic focal points based on our respective proficiencies."

"I-I don't know what half of these words mean..." said Deuce.

"Dude," said Grim, arms crossed. "Me neither."

"I've also arranged for original choreography to accompany the song," Vil said as soon as the song ended. "Here, I'll pull up a dance video with a similar dynamic to provide you with a visual aid of what our performance will look like when it's finished." He pulled out his phone. "There should be plenty of videos from professional dance groups on Magicam... Ah, here we are." He held out his phone, and the rest of us crowded around to watch.

"I know the deal here," said Grim. "You gotta watch a commercial before you get to the video, right?"

"Keep your skin as soft as powdered snow," said the narrator of the commercial. "This UV foundation is made to protect all your delicate curves."

"It's finally here," said Neige, "a magical sunblock that makes all your wishes come true."

"Félicité Cosmetics: Precious Protection Foundation."

"Here, come closer..."

"Oh yeah, that Neige guy is gonna be at the SDC too, right?" said Ace. "Cater was saying he's the most popular entertainer on Magicam."

"Hm. He'll garner a lot of votes, I'm sure," said Jamil.

"He's the Royal Sword Academy representative," said Rook.

"So he's our rival!" said Kalim.

"Precisely," said Rook. "The road we travel toward victory must by necessity go squarely through him. Still... Those rose-red lips and glossy black hair... That endearing smile that could charm anyone in an instant... A rival though he may be, oh, c'est beau!"

"We can't let him win," I said.

"I've got a tuna bonanza riding on this competition!" said Grim. "We gotta take home the gold!"

"Cease your frivolous chatter and focus on the dance video," said Vil. "This time, losing is absolutely not an option." We grew silent as we watched the video. I knew I did not have to memorize anything, but I still found it interesting.

"That looks fun," I said.

"All right, it's time for rehearsal. But first... I will announce the main vocalists and backup dancers. I personally made these selections based on a review of your performance at auditions. In the event that any of you improve between now and showtime, we may make some alterations to the lineup. So, if you weren't selected for main vocals, you should consider those positions up for grabs. First, the main vocalists will be Jamil, Epel, and myself."

"Oh, wow!" said Kalim. "Nice going, Jamil!"

"You want ME on main vocals?" said Jamil.

"Yes," said Vil. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Oh, far from it. I just think Kalim would be more suited for... You know what? Never mind. I'm on it. I'll endeavor to meet all of your expectations."

"Um, if I may?" Epel said hesitantly. "I don't think I'm cut out for this. I think, maybe...someone else would be a better pick."

"You don't get a say in the matter," said Vil. "Have you forgotten the agreement we made when you enrolled? I need you to be the poison apple that brings him down."

Epel lowered his head. "...Yes, sir."

"Epel...?" said Deuce.

"Poison apple?" I said.

"Aw, man," said Ace. "I got bumped outta main vocals..."

"But if you keep working, you might rise up and win it back, right?" said Kalim. "Ooh, this is gonna be great!" He grinned. "Looks like the rest of us are in the backup chorus and dance team. Let's give our lead singers a run for their money!"

"Excellent, Roi Doré!" said Rook. "Your positivity brightens the team like the warming rays of a radiant sun."

"We have to make the dancing and singing fun for both the performers and the viewers."

"Let's be clear," said Vil, "despite the word 'main,' the main vocalists are not the stars, nor are the chorus members mere supporting characters. You should ALL consider yourselves stars in this ensemble, and treat your job accordingly. Now that you all have your assignments, we can begin rehearsing in earnest. Pay close attention to my movements and try to emulate them."

Vil had everyone practice dancing for hours, and he was highly critical of them. He had a few choice words to say to Epel, who complained about not wanting his moves to appear 'girly.' As a punishment, Vil required him to attend ballet lessons. Surprisingly, Deuce asked to join in as well. Finally, we were all allowed to return to Ramshackle for dinner.

"Maaan!" said Ace as we walked down Main Street. "I'm exhausted! I can't believe Vil made me get down on all fours and wipe the ballroom floor with a dustcloth after rehearsal. That's just mean!"

"He made me clean the windows with really broad wiping motions," said Deuce. "My arms and back are killing me..."

"Who knew cleaning in earnest could be so difficult?" said Kalim, appearing tired for once.

"I'm absolutely famished..." said Epel.

"Yeah, I'm right there with ya," said Grim.

"Good hustle today, guys," I said.

"Hah hah hah!" Rook laughed. "The effort you spent on cleaning was not in vain, I assure you. Floor-wiping and window-washing are both forms of training that strengthen the muscles we need to do to win. It's a trademark Vil regimen, to ensure that both the practice area and your physical shape are beyond reproach."

"You've got a real understanding of Vil's methods, don't you?" said Jamil.

"Sounds less like understanding and more like being a yes-man to me," said Ace.

"I don't know," I said. "I'm not getting that vibe."

"My life is enriched by the mere existence of beauty in all forms," said Rook. "Beauty has the power to grant salvation to its beholders, or to drive them utterly mad. But it is also fragile and ephemeral. The moment you take your eyes off of it, it could be lost forever. Which is why I make it my goal in life to protect and support beauty to the fullest extent of my abilities."

"The way you talk about Vil, you make it sound like he's a flower or a work of art," said Jamil. "I mean, yes, he certainly ticks all the boxes... But Vil doesn't strike me as someone fragile or ephemeral, much less someone in need of protection."

"Same here," said Kalim. "Vil seems more like a diamond to me—firm and unbreakable."

"It's true," said Rook. "Vil has no need of my meddling. Were I to extend my hand to him, I would be on the receiving end of a thirteen-centimeter-heel axe kick. What I wish to safeguard is not Vil himself; it is the notion of beauty he embodies."

"Dude," said Ace. "Now you're making even less sense."

"Pomefiore students are so weird sometimes..." said Deuce.

"I'm a Pomefiore student and it barely makes sense to me, either," said Epel.

"If YOU can't puzzle it out, the rest of us might as well not even bother tryin'," said Grim.

"Heh. I'm sure you'll all grasp it eventually," Rook said with a smile. "Your eureka moment will come once you meet someone whose mere existence illuminates your life like so many sunbeams."

"When you put it that way..." I murmured.

"You understand what he means?" Ace said incredulously.

My eyes widened. "I, uh... Hey, there's the dorm. Let's go eat!" I ran off before I could be interrogated further. Luckily, everyone was soon focused on dinner. It was all healthy stuff, of course. It was not that bad though.

"Whew..." Ace said once we were through. "I finished my dinner, but I feel like I've still got room for more."

"I know what you mean," said Kalim. "It wasn't bad, but it just didn't have the spicy punch or richness I'm used to."

"The dishes used vegetables, white meat chicken, and fruit," said Jamil. "I thought the portions were reasonably sized."

"They described it as a 'toning' menu, not a 'slimming-down' menu," said Deuce.

"All those veggies are barely a meal to me..." said Grim. "Ona and I aren't even competing, so how about lettin' us have some more meat? Ooh, or somethin' fried!

"If you're this bad on day one, this is gonna be a long month," I said. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Hm? Who's showin' up this late?" Shrugging, I led the way to the front door. I opened it to find a delivery ghost on the other side.

"Special delivery!" said the ghost. "Is Epel Felmier of Pomefiore present?"

"Y-yes," said Epel. "I'm Epel."

The ghost held out a clipboard. "If you could sign here? We've got ten large boxes for you. Mind if we drop them off in the foyer?"

"Sure, that's—wait, did you say TEN?!"

"Yes. It's from... Oh, this also says 'Felmier.' I take it that's your family? They're all heavy, so be careful carrying them." With that, the ghost began stacking the boxes in the dorm.

"The Ramshackle Dorm foyer's stacked floor to ceiling with boxes now," Deuce said, staring at the boxes.

"Ahhh!" said Epel. "These have to be from Meemaw—ah, that is, from my grandmother. I've told her so many times over the phone that she doesn't have to send this stuff."

"What is it?" said Kalim. "A delivery of silks from your home?" I stifled a laugh at his assumption. He really did come from a different world.

"Oh, it's nothing so fancy. Um, my hometown produces a lot of apple-based goods. So I suspect these are all, ah...apple juice."

"Dude!" said Ace. "Forget the Mostro Lounge—we could run our own drink stand with this much product!"

"Don't let Azul hear you say that," I said.

"Oh, there's a letter in one of the boxes," said Epel. "Let's see... 'We had some unsold stock near its sell-by date. You can share it with your friends at school. Fer cryin' out loud! Don't push yer stinkin' overstock on me, Meemaw! A-ahem. I mean, I can't believe they have so much they didn't sell."

"If they're sending you this much stuff, you must come from a real rich family," said Deuce.

Epel's eyes widened. "Huh?!"

"Ooh, I think I get it," said Ace. "Are you so dedicated to your apple juice brand that it's all you want to drink?"

"N-not at all, honest! Everyone's welcome to have some. It's 100% apple juice, no preservatives. It's loaded with vitamins, and Vil... probably won't yell at you for drinking it. Tastes real good, too!"

"Yep. You're a total apple juice freak."

"Ah, aha ha..."

"Merci, Monsieur Pommette," said Rook. "I happily accept. Tell your family merci beaucoup on my behalf."

"We can't leave the foyer blocked off with all these boxes," said Jamil. "Let's get them to the lounge, at least." We all grabbed a couple boxes and brought them into the lounge.

"I appreciate all of you helping with those boxes," said Epel. "Thanks, uh... very much. Why don't we open one up and quench our thirst? The citric acid and polyphenol in apples works wonders for fatigue. It should be the perfect drink after a hard day of dancing and singing rehearsal... I think." He opened a box and handed each of us a bottle.

"Ooh. There's a nice, tangy apple smell already, and all I did was pop the cork," said Deuce.

"What a piquant aroma," said Rook. "I shall partake as well." He took a sip. "Why... c'est bon! This is exquisite, Epel!"

"Let me try a sip," Kalim said before drinking some of the juice. "Ooh, that IS good! It's like I'm drinking an apple in liquid form!"

"It's 100% apple juice, so that's literally what you're doing," said Jamil. "Mm... It is quite good, though."

"It is delicious," I said.

"This's the stuff right here," said Grim. "I could guzzle it by the liter!"

"Hey, Grim!" said Deuce. "Don't put your mouth on the bottle!"

"I can't blame him for wanting to chug it from the source, though," said Ace. "It goes down great."

"It's not too sweet and not too tart," said Rook. "It goes down like a pleasant breeze blowing through an orchard—refreshing to the extreme! I'd go so far as to call this beverage a masterpiece that was clearly made with love."

"Isn't it?" said Epel, seeming happier. "It's made from a blend of several different types of apples. It's the pride of our hometown! And it's soothing for the throat when you add in a little honey. It could be great to drink after vocal practice! Ooh, and the apples themselves are delicious, even before they're turned into juice!"

"Hah hah hah! How nice to hear you speak with such enthusiasm. It's clear that you carry a great deal of fondness for your hometown, Monsieur Pommette."

"Unfortunately, though... I don't know if it's because we make it in a backwater part of the Shaftlands or what, but it's just not very well-known."

"Wow," said Kalim. "It's so good, though. Such a shame for it to go unnoticed."

"We get fewer and fewer tourists every year, too. The direction things are going, well..."

"How long are you all going to congregate in the lounge?" Vil said with a stern voice, entering the room. "...And what are these stacks of boxes?"

"Epel's family sent him some apple juice, which he has been kind enough to share," said Rook.

"I-it doesn't have any added sugars!" Epel said hurriedly. "Or preservatives! And, um, it's not going to last for very long, so... you're welcome to have some too, Vil. If you like."

"Hmm. Is that so? Perhaps if the mood strikes me. But it's just about 10 o'clock. That means lights out for you spudlings."

"You expect us to go to bed at 10 p.m.?!" Ace said incredulously. "What are we, grade schoolers?"

"Perhaps so, if your mindset moves you to equate an early bedtime with being a child. You need a MINIMUM of seven hours of sleep a night to maintain lustrous skin and hair."

"I don't know about skin and hair, but sleep is important," I said.

"Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask you... What products do you use for hair and skin care?"

"Uh, what do you mean, care?" Deuce said blankly.

"I use the best I can afford, which isn't much," I admitted. I doubted these boys cared much for skin or hair care. It was incorrectly seen as a feminine issue.

"My hair tangles easily with repeat washes, so I use hair oil..." said Jamil, "but I don't put anything extra on my skin."

"My attendants back home always slathered me in moisturizers," said Kalim, "but I haven't done any of that since I started school here."

"You strip away your natural oils and then leave your skin gasping for hydration?" Vil said, appearing horrified. "Are you mad?! I'm giving each of you a set of my personally formulated skin care products. Apply them every morning and evening after you wash your face."

"Ooh, you make your own cosmetics? Neat!"

"I shouldn't be surprised," said Jamil. "Of course the Pomefiore housewarden would be an expert in herbalism."

"Epel and I have been naught but smooth and supple since we started using Vil's products," said Rook.

"Yes, and he makes other things, too," said Epel, "sunblock, setting powder, lip balm, hand cream... He dumped—ah, I mean, gifted me—a bunch of it."

"By the way," said Kalim, "I see a lot of bottles here. How do you use all this?"

"Must I explain everything? " said Vil. "Fine. I'll start with the facial cleanser. Kalim, you'll be my model. The rest of you, pay close attention."

I felt a lecture coming on.

A/N: I know Camp Vargas 2 is supposed to take place right after the first one, but I'm going to find a way to fit in during spring in this story. Jade's enthusiasm and passion is adorable. I also love nature, mountains, hiking, and camping. And I want to join his club!