Chapter 4: Belonging

The next day, I was sitting on my bed in the Cullens' house, still trying to adapt to the fact that I was pretty much part of a coven. I'd travelled alone for so long and before being on my own, I'd only ever travelled with William. It was strange going from solitude to an entire family in less than twenty-four hours.

And then, of course, there was Paul. It was strange to admit it to myself, but I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. All through the night, I'd sat on my bed and gazed out at the stars in the sky, mind reeling with everything I'd spoken about with him.

Through the night, I'd made the decision to spend some time with him today to see where things would lead.

Yesterday in the forest when he and I had spoken, I'd felt human again and that was something that scared me…but at the same time, I'd felt completely comfortable and at ease with him. As intimidating as it was to think about the spiritual connection we shared, it had felt natural sitting there with him in the forest.

"You okay, Natalie?" Rosalie asked, leaning against my doorway.

"Yeah, just…thinking," I said.

"I'm sure it's overwhelming for you," she said.

"A little bit," I admitted.

"Alice told me about what happened with the wolves," Rosalie said. "How are you doing with that?"

"I'm still trying to process it," I said. "I think I'm going to spend some time with him today, actually."

Rosalie made a face at that. I was aware that the Cullens didn't have the best relationship with the wolves, despite the treaty that they'd agreed upon. Paul had also told me that he and the wolves had basically been raised to hate the vampires.

I waved good-bye to Rosalie and slipped out of the house to make my way towards La Push. As I crossed the border into the town, I realized that I had no idea where I'd be able to find him; I didn't even have his phone number to call him.

I began to wander through the streets of La Push and came upon a small beach that was covered with stones. There was a small strip of sand by the sea and a few large driftwood trees along the shore.

I walked along the shore and sat down on one of the smaller driftwood trees, gazing out at the ocean. I watched as the waves lapped against the high cliffs on the western end of the beach.

For the first time since arriving to Forks, I was completely by myself and I took a moment to enjoy the solitude. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in the salty ocean air and tilting my face upward, allowing the light rain to gently pepper my face.

"Natalie?"

I opened my eyes and turned towards the voice, seeing Paul approaching me hesitantly. In that moment, I was struck by how handsome he was—I hadn't had a chance to fully appreciate it when we'd been in the forest together. The planes of his face were nearly perfect and his thin t-shirt stretched over the defined muscles of his chest and arms. His inky black hair was somehow only slightly dishevelled from the drizzling rain.

"Hi," I said, quickly regaining my composure.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I was actually hoping to see you," I said.

"Out here on the beach?" he asked, taking a seat next to me on the tree trunk.

"I was just sort-of wandering around La Push and happened upon the beach," I explained. "It's beautiful here."

He chuckled. "You've probably seen enough beaches to last you a lifetime."

"Barely any during the day, though," I pointed out. "I can see why the Cullens like it here—they don't have to hide."

"Yeah, I guess I could see that," he admitted. "I'm not sure you're prepared for how much it rains here, though."

"I'm sure I can handle it," I said with a smile.

A slightly awkward silence fell between us and I spun my ring on my finger anxiously. I had no idea what to say to him.

He laughed a humourless laugh. "I wish I could do this right."

"Right?" I repeated.

"You know, normally, I'd take you out to dinner and get to know you," he said. "Instead of springing the whole imprinting thing on first sight."

I laughed. "I don't think dinner would be the best idea for me. We can just chill." We were quiet for a few moments. "How long have you been…?"

"A werewolf?" he asked. I nodded. "I started phasing three years ago when I was sixteen and the Cullens had just come to Forks. It was Sam, Jared, and me at first and then when more people started phasing, I had to take a bit of a break from it."

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was completely taking over," he said. "I was failing all my classes and things with my parents were getting really bad. Sam had enough wolves to have a functioning pack so I stopped phasing for a little while to finish school, get a shitty part-time job, and move out of my parents' place before I started up again. Jared and I moved in together when things started getting bad with his parents too."

"Things were that bad with your parents?" I asked.

"They still are," he said. "I moved out the day I turned eighteen. Neither of them understood and kept trying to stop me from patrolling—which is wild because my dad's the one who passed the gene along to me. I guess he didn't want me to go through what he'd had to, so he just kept denying that it was happening to me too and tried to stop me from phasing." He was quiet for a few moments. "I knew I had to do something because the arguments I was having with them were getting really bad. More than once, I almost phased in the house and too close to him and my mom. I knew that I had to leave before I hurt one of them."

"That's awful," I said. "You'd think he'd try to help you through it instead of just pretending it didn't exist."

"I think he was just trying to make things easier for me," he said. "He didn't realize how much more difficult he was making it. It's hard, though, not being able to talk to them."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," I mumbled.

"You do?"

I nodded. "You know how some vampires have powers?" He nodded. "Well, I do too. I can speak to the dead. It didn't start when I got turned—I've been able to do it for my whole life and when I was little, my parents didn't understand so I started to hide it from them."

"That's a power that I think a lot of people would want to have," he said.

"It's how I used to make money and support myself," I admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I used to open up little psychic shops," I explained. "I'd run them out of my apartments and give clients some peace of mind about their loved ones. Sometimes spirits will just…appear to me. It still catches me off guard sometimes."

"That'd be scary for anyone."

"I don't normally like talking about it," I admitted. "It's been a while since I've felt like I could open up to someone."

He chuckled. "That's what I'm here for."

"I appreciate that," I said. "It's been an overwhelming twenty-four hours."

"I can imagine," he said. "How long have you been travelling on your own?"

My stomach tightened anxiously—I wasn't ready to get into the reason for all of my travelling, nor was I ready to open up about the ugly scene that had caused me to stop travelling with Will. "It's been about eight years."

"Is that how long ago you were turned?"

I smiled in spite of myself. "No, I was turned in 1966."

"You've probably seen the world."

"Pretty much."

He laughed. "I've barely even been out of the country."

"Well, after decades of being stuck at the same age, you get a little bored," I said as nonchalantly as possible.

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's what's in the cards for my future."

"What do you mean?"

"As long as we're phasing, we don't age," he said.

"Convenient."

"Yeah, especially when the person meant to be your soulmate is a vampire who also doesn't age," he said.

"How have you been feeling about that?" I asked.

He was quiet for a few moments. "Honestly…I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.

"I'm leaning more towards it being a good thing," he admitted.

"I'm glad," I said honestly.

"You are?"

I nodded. "All last night, I couldn't stop thinking about you either. When we were talking in the forest yesterday, I felt things…change. You made me feel human again."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked, echoing my question.

"I'm leaning more towards it being a good thing," I said, teasing lilt to my voice.

He laughed. "I'm not gonna lie, yesterday when I realized what had happened…I was fighting to stay in control. I never expected it to happen this way and my mind immediately assumed the worst, but this…this isn't so bad."

"It can't be to easy find out that your mortal enemy is essentially your soulmate," I said.

He laughed. "You're not my enemy—you don't seem nearly as bad as some of the other ones."

I didn't want to know what he considered a "bad vampire". Given my history with drinking human blood…

I stopped myself from thinking about that before I started to spiral. I needed to be in the present with Paul instead of thinking about that period of my life.

"Sadly, I don't have many other werewolves to compare you to," I teased. "Just Sam and Jared, I guess."

"Well, I'm the best one out of the three of them," he said.

"Humble too," I teased.

"Absolutely," he said with a laugh. "What do you say we go for a walk?"

"Sure," I said. He stood from where he'd been sitting and held his hand out to me to help me up as well. Despite not needing his support to stand, I grasped his hand and let him pull me off the driftwood tree. His hand was scorching in my icy grasp and I felt a little jolt at the physical connection.

He didn't let go of my hand as we walked along the beach together, continuing to joke around and learn about each other until the early hours of the morning. As we spent more time together, I felt myself warming up to him. He was bringing new feelings to the surface incredibly quickly and while it scared me a little bit, I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging as I walked with him.

Things felt as natural as breathing between us and it just felt like everything clicked into place perfectly. It felt like I'd known him for years instead of just a few hours.

It was then that I realized that I belonged with him. I didn't belong in the big house on the river, or in Boston, or with the man I'd once thought was my soulmate.

I belonged here, in La Push with Paul.