Chapter 7 The Trials
They've forgiven you before, whispered the tempting voice in my heart. The Jedi don't want you to die. What does it matter how you achieve the goal, as long as it gets done? I gritted my teeth and tore into the control panel of the heavy blast doors, ignoring the sparks that flew around me and singed my fur. Then I plunged my lightsaber directly into the portion of the wall that hid the gears and motor, further damaging it. Nobody was getting through that door without high explosives...or the Force.
Their deaths will be your responsibility! My doubts and the dark side mingled into one siren call. They'll die, and you'll give in at the end anyways.
"The door is sealed," I barked over my comlink, running back down the halls, staggering as the building shuddered from another grenade blast.
"We've evacuated the first two groups," replied my master. "I'm en route to you now with CorSec, but we'll have to take out a few gun emplacements before they get too entrenched, or we'll never get out again. They're targeting the trams."
"Please hurry!" I pleaded. "I've got half a dozen CorSec officers, but they've only got pistols, and it feels like the entire Imperial Army is trying to break through. I won't be enough to hold them off when they come for the Councilwoman."
"Trust in the Force," said my master. "Fear leads to the Dark Side. The Light is your ally, and you will prevail. I am coming."
"Yes, Master," I said automatically, pausing to carefully wave my lightsaber around the corner first to warn my friends that I was coming. We couldn't afford to lose me to friendly fire at this stage. As I dashed back down the hall to the small chamber that we'd fortified with toppled statues and overturned furniture, I frantically tried to figure out what I would say to them. They looked at me like I was some miracle worker, a jedi, but I was a healer, and my studies had focused on the minutiae of knitting together muscles and sinew and bone, learning the various workings of different anatomies and sensing anomalies in the flow of a body, not fighting and killing.
You just need to call, and I will answer. The dark side pressed against my senses, and as it advanced, my grasp on the Light side wavered. I pushed my way into the room and through the people crowded inside to an open chair.
"Please, just give me a moment!" I said, shooing them away. I sat and pressed my hands together, willing my claws to retract, and took a deep breath and held it a long second, filling it full of all of the fear I could gather. As I breathed out, I repeated the Jedi Code in my mind. There is no emotion. There is peace. Each breath pulled more tension from my body and centered it in my mind before I released it. I tried to look at it dispassionately, as I'd been taught.
There is no ignorance. There is knowledge. Things didn't look good. We were trapped in here, and the Imperials wanted the Councilwoman alive, so they weren't going to stop. They might leave us alone for a while, but nothing short of a rescue would get us out.
There is no passion. There is serenity. The beings around me were looking to me to protect them, and I needed the Force as my ally. I needed to defend, to protect, not without fear, but in spite of it. I breathed out. Yes, I was afraid. It would not rule me.
There is no chaos. There is harmony. My master was coming for us. There was chaos outside, as the Empire attacked Corellia, but within the Jedi order, within my bond with Master Vaar, within this room, we were united in defending ourselves and protecting the councilwoman and Corellia.
There is no death. There is the Force. I might die, but I was a Jedi, and if I died, I would die a Jedi. The Imperials weren't going to make me a slave again, not a slave to the sith, not a slave to the Empire, not a slave to the Dark Side. I was in control, and I chose the Light.
Peace, pure, unfiltered peace flooded my soul, and the force sharpened around me, providing foresight and clarity to a degree that I had never before experienced. I could see exactly what was coming, what would happen. I opened my eyes and smiled.
"Another patient for you, Master Jedi," said a soldier politely, pushing a woman into the room in a hoverchair.
"Thank you," I said. "Can you help her into a bed?"
"I can get myself there," she interjected. I could see a large burn scoring her thigh. A blaster bolt had just skimmed across her leg. She winced as she transferred herself to the gurney that the soldiers had set up for us in the makeshift hospital. I was surprised that such a minor injury had been brought to me. Most of the military medics were out at the front camps, so back here, it was me and a couple of ensigns running things. My job was to stabilize people before they were transferred to the hospitals in Crescent City or offworld.
"She came to the doors herself," explained the soldier, catching my questioning look.
"What's your name?" I asked politely.
"Srienna Talon," she said.
"Do you live around here?" I asked, helping the Ensign carefully ease her trousers down to more clearly reveal the wound. It wasn't the worst I'd seen, but she was pale and shaking anyways. I was relieved--I'd been trying to heal major internal damage off and on all morning, and since I was the only jedi around, I had to bear their pain all by myself. A minor injury would be a nice change!
"All my life," she said. "My family runs a restaurant near the City Hall." I nodded.
"How did you get hurt?" I asked as the medics cleaned the wound, applying bacta and trimming away some of the melted skin to make it easier for me to heal her.
"I was trying to deliver food to some of the CorSec officers, and some Imps thought it would be fun to take potshots at me," she said. "I was lucky." Immersed in the force as I was, something didn't ring true. I started healing her leg, working my way up the side towards the front, and I realized what was bothering me. At the deepest part of the injury, there was a smooth, round, shiny burn around the edge--a muzzle burn. She hadn't been shot at a distance--the blaster barrel had been pressed up against her leg when it had fired. And at that range, with that damage, the blaster must've been on its lowest settings.
"Now, I know that's not true," I said conversationally, and although she didn't react visually, the scent of fear flooded the room so strongly that I was sure even the humans must be able to smell it. "Care to try again? How did you get shot?"
"I...I don't know what you mean?" she said convincingly. "I was running across the street, and one of the Imperial Soldiers shot me! They were trying to kill me and I was lucky they didn't succeed!" One of the medics had spotted the inconsistency now, too, and he discreetly pressed a button on his comlink.
"Where was this?" I said. "How far away were they?"
"I was over by the tram station; I'm not sure where the Imperials were, but I was on the corner of Sylvester and Sinjeong!"
"Did they capture you? Did they grab you?"
"No, I dropped everything and ran!" she said.
"That's a lie," I said, and she began to fidget. "Someone pressed a gun against your leg and pulled the trigger. Did a soldier do this to you?" I listened to the whisper of the force. Still wrong. "Did you do this to yourself?" That rang true. "An accident?" False. "Deliberately?" True. I nodded, and the medics shifted uneasily. "Why?"
"You're wrong," she protested, but her confidence had been shaken.
"Was it to get into this facility?" asked a medic, seeing where my line of questioning was going. True, but not completely true.
"Finish applying bacta," I instructed the medics. "We'll wrap it up and let CorSec deal with her."
"You're crazy!" she said. "They shot me." A small group of soldiers came in; usually they helped move my patients to the hanger and transports, but even unarmed, they would be more than a match for this woman.
"You did this to yourself," I said sharply. "Why? Were you trying to get off Corellia?" Nope, still not true.
"Are you a spy?" asked a medic. The jolt that shot through the Force confirmed it for me.
"No, that's absurd!" shouted the woman. I nodded at the soldiers, and they pulled her to her feet.
"Before I was a Jedi, I was a Sith, and before I was a Sith, I was an Imperial slave," I said flatly. "I know what the Empire will do to this world if they're not driven out. I know how this world will suffer. They'll exploit every resource you have, and if you express the slightest disagreement, or if you upset someone with more power then you, you'll be arrested and shot if you're lucky and enslaved if you aren't. There is no recourse beyond begging for mercy, and that's viewed as unacceptable weakness. Everything exists to serve the sith; the strong take what they want and there's nothing you can do about it. Is that what you want?!"
"I'm not a spy," she said weakly, but nobody believed her at this point.
"We'll take care of her, Master Jedi," one of the soldiers assured me.
"Thank you," I said.
I deactivated my lightsaber, feeling the sweat on my palms, a grin threatening to split my face in half. I'd done it. I'd demonstrated my force abilities in combat. I'd performed adequately in my duel. I'd passed every challenge that the Bladesmaster had set for me. My last trial had concluded. Master Vaar embraced me.
"Well done, Mayet," he said. Quorian stood by, watching proudly.
"Thank you, Master," I said.
"Come," he said. I followed him out of the training hall and down to the Grand Meditation Chamber. He took me to a side room there, where a refresher and a clean set of robes waited for me.
"Wash and change," he said. "I'll meet you in the Chamber."
The water was cold and the soap barely scented. I pulled on the new tunic and robes, noting that somebody had taken the time to provide me new boots as well, thoughtfully making sure that the sole was thin and flexible enough to be comfortable for my Cathar feet. When I reentered the Meditation Chamber, Master Vaar led me to a secluded corner that was normally reserved for masters only. I settled down into the cushions and let my mind soar into the warm glow of the force, letting my triumph and gratitude slip away until all that was left was the peace and joy of the Light. Around me, I could feel other Jedi joining with me in my meditation, their thoughts focusing on propelling me deeper into the Force. All evening and through the night, we meditated together until one by one, they gently withdrew. I felt Master Vaar's presence and slowly returned to myself.
"Allow me to escort you one last time," he said, lifting me to my feet. Meditation always left me feeling energized, so I had to check myself to match his solemn pace. He walked with me to the Council Chamber. I'd been in the before, most recently after reporting on my experiences on Corellia, but this time the room was dark, although I could hear the breathing of many sentients around me.
"Come forward, Padawan," said Grandmaster Shan, igniting her lightsaber. She stood at the head of the room, and although she wielded a doubleblade, only one blue blade emerged from the hilt. Her words and actions began a chain reaction, and one by one, the Masters standing at her sides lit their lightsabers, green and blue, all the way around until it came to the non-council members, who closed the circle behind me. I turned to see Master Iie and Quorian and Knight Sudime and other Jedi who had helped me during my training or who I had grown close to during my time on Tython were also in attendance, in order of seniority. Master Vaar took his place as I strode forward and knelt.
"By the right of the Council," Grandmaster Shan began. I felt a thrill at the words that I had been anticipating for years. "By the will of the Force," she continued. She placed the saber beside my head, where a padawan braid would have been if I'd been human, and then brought it in one sharp slash down to my other shoulder, knighting me in truth, before snapping her blade back up into Form I rest. The assembled Jedi imitated the salute. "I dub thee a Knight of the Jedi Order."
"Rise, Knight Mayet."