One Piece: Strawhat Theater

"Our Mrs. Monkey"

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. One Piece is the property of Toei Animation, Funimation, and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release.

Nami's first birthday with Luffy after the time skip...

Another interlude from the Dressrosa saga. More is coming, don't you worry!

It was her birthday, and despite the wonderful party with the lavish cake Sanji baked (A luscious orange cake, made right from her mikans), the thoughtful gifts, and the good cheer and drink with her friends... Nami still found herself feeling a bit melancholy.

Primarily due to the absence of the two people she most wanted to celebrate with.

"Did Luffy say when they'd be back?" Nami asked Robin, as they leaned against the railing and looked out at the sea. Robin smiled gently, and gave the same answer she had every other time Nami had asked.

"He'll be back soon. He's gotten more punctual since you two got married."

"Hmph," Nami muttered, looking over her wine glass as the rays of the setting sun shone through it, "Not that punctual. Why did he have to take Ace, too?"

"She did leave you a very special present," Robin said warmly. Nami flushed, and looked down at the crayon drawing Ace had left for her among the other gifts. It was crude, but bright and colorful: Of Ace with her mother and father holding hands and smiling. Her eyes softened as she looked over the squiggly lines and stick figures.

"She did... But Luffy? Ugh. He can be so thoughtless."

"He did get you a gift for your last birthday together. Before Saobody."

"He got me a chunk of meat with some candles stuck in it," Nami deadpanned. Robin chuckled.

"That's quite the commitment for our captain."

"Yeah..."

At last, the form of the Little Merry appeared over the horizon. The little boat steamed up, and docked with the Thousand Sunny. Luffy and Ace waved, and Nami waved back happily. She restrained her questions until they got up on deck, and only after she'd given Ace a hug. Luffy hung back, carrying a big sack.

"Well? What was that all about?" Nami demanded.

Luffy beamed.

"I'll show you!"

Luffy grabbed her, and carried her off towards the charting room/library. Normally being carried off by her husband was exciting and fun, but this just increased her annoyance.

"AH! LUFFY! HEY!"

He carried her in, and shut the door. Nami bonked him on the head, and he let her go, but his smile didn't diminish as he rummaged in the large bag.

"Luffy! Are you going to tell me what all of this was about or-?!"

Luffy handed her a small gift wrapped in brown packing paper. It was tied with a simple string.

"I was getting your birthday presents!" Luffy said cheerfully. "Go ahead! Open it!"

Nami frowned more deeply. It seemed too small to be meat... Or gold, which she would like as well. She undid the knots with some struggle, and tore open the paper. Inside was a leather-bound book, with no words on it. She opened it...

A young Belle-Mere, looking smart in a Marine uniform, grinned cockily out at her. Nami's jaw dropped, and she tightened her grip on the book just in case she dropped it.

"Wha... What is this?"

"I called Grampa and asked if he had any pictures of Belle-Mere when she was in the Marines," Luffy said cheerfully. He pointed at the picture, and then flipped the page. "Turns out he got his hands on a lot! She was pretty cool! He didn't know her himself but he did remember her! So he got lots of pictures and put them into a book!"

"I..." Nami flipped to another page, and a picture of herself, Nojiko, and Belle-Mere, smiling in their orchard, greeted her.

"I also called your sister and Pinwheel guy, and they sent Grampa more pictures!" Luffy continued cheerfully. "I even asked Grampa for a few of him! And my dad, if he had any! And then I called Vivi to ask for pictures, and Makino, and a few other people...!"

Nami kept flipping the pages. There were pictures from their victory party after Arlong's defeat. Pictures of Luffy, Ace, and a blond boy she didn't recognize in a jungle, standing over a felled tiger. Pictures of some green haired woman, Shanks, and a very young Luffy waving at the camera. Even a picture of Monkey D. Dragon, looking very young, and uncomfortable in a Marine uniform. A picture of Garp hoisting a laughing Luffy up on his shoulder. Their first wanted posters.

"Luffy... Why did you...?"

"Well," Luffy said, "Robin told me that families have photo albums, so they can remember all the good times. So they can show their kids where they came from, and stuff. I thought it was a cool idea! So I had all these people sent their pictures to Grampa! I went out to get them from a super secret Marine mail drop off point Grampa told me about!"

Tears filled her eyes. Luffy frowned, concerned.

"Eh? Nami, you okay? Don't worry!" He flipped a few more pages, to blank ones. "There's plenty of room for more! And I want to make a lot more memories!"

Nami cried, her smile wide. She looked upon her husband with love and joy.

"You... You did this for... For us?"

"Yeah!" Luffy said cheerfully. He blinked.

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

He rummaged around in the sack, and pulled out a large briefcase. He opened it. Nami's eyes shined with avarice, as gold coins gleamed in the overhead lights.

"How did you-WHERE did you get...?!" She calculated it in her head, and gasped.

"Five hundred million berries worth of gold?!"

"I missed your last two birthdays," Luffy said, "And I know you love gold. So I called Big News Morgans and told him you didn't like that news article Jimmy did and if you weren't happy, I'd come see him and beat him up! So he sent me this briefcase of money!"

Nami's jaw dropped.

"Luffy... Did... Did you just extort Big News Morgan for me?!"

"What? No!" Luffy shook his head. "I just told him I'd beat him up if he didn't make you happy, and he sent us gold!"

Luffy blinked.

"Ohhh... Is that what extortion means? Oh, then... Yeah. I did that."

"You... You would extort one of the richest men in the world for me?" Nami whispered.

Luffy took her hands between his and grinned.

"Nami? I'd beat up and extort everyone in the world for you. Because I love you."

He paused.

"Well, I mean, I wouldn't do that to our friends... Or little old ladies... Or kids-"

"Luffy," Nami husked, "Lock the door."

"Okay!" Luffy turned around and locked it. He turned back.

"So, do you like the presents-?"

A completely naked Nami jumped him. Luffy grinned happily.

"You do!"

"SHUT UP AND PUT ANOTHER BABY IN ME, YOU STUD!"

"OKAY!"

Ace-chan was sitting in Robin's lap in the lounge. The child was drawing more crayon pictures, this time of Usopp fighting a giant bear.

"Did Mommy like her birthday presents, Robin?"

Robin flushed... And smiled, with a firm nod.

"Oh yes, she absolutely did."

"Yay!" She grinned. "So... Do you think they could get me a little brother for my birthday?"

"I don't think that will be a problem, Ace-chan."

The next morning, Robin and Nami were relaxing on the deck in their deck chairs, just sipping drinks and watching the sea pass by. Luffy played with Ace and Chopper happily, as Usopp tested out a new invention with Franky. Nami sighed and stretched.

"Good birthday night?" Robin asked slyly. "I see many hickeys on your neck."

"The best," Nami murmured happily. She smiled lovingly at her husband as he held their daughter up. "I really am the luckiest woman in the world..."

"Yes, about that."

Nami turned back to Robin... And started as she realized her friend's nose was nearly touching hers.

"Ah...? Y-Yes?"

Robin reached out and took Nami's hand in her right. The other hand went up to lightly caress Nami's cheek. Her skin darkened from her blush as Robin looked intently into her eyes.

"I was wondering, Miss Navigator... If you could perhaps... Do me a favor?"

"Um... Wh-What kind of favor?" Nami managed.

Robin leaned in closer, and her lips breathed warm air over Nami's face as she whispered.

"Less a favor... And more a gift. I was wondering if we could... Share...?"

"Share? Share what?" Nami asked.

Robin glanced over at Luffy, who was going shirtless and tossing Ace-chan up and down in the air with Chopper. Nami blushed as she ogled her husband... Then saw a similar blush on Robin's cheeks. Her jaw dropped.

"Sh-Sh-Sh-Share?!" Nami stuttered, gaping in disbelief as she pulled back. Robin held her tightly, and the archaeologist's smile grew more sultry. She continued to stroke Nami's cheek.

"You know I wouldn't... Steal him away. It could be a lot of fun. But I do have needs, and alas, none of the other men on the crew are interested, or up to the task~," Robin purred, "And don't you think that Ace-chan could use a little sister? Or brother?" She leaned in very close, her lips nearly touching the bright red Nami's ear.

"Wouldn't that be a wonderful gift... For you... For our Captain... And for me~?"

"I-I-I-Um-I-I-Mean-I mean-I-!"

Robin pulled back, taking both of Nami's hands in hers, and winked.

"Just kidding~."

Nami fell off her deck chair. She pouted up at Robin, who continued to laugh softly behind her hand.

"That-That wasn't very funny!"

"Yes it was," Robin chuckled. "And you can't blame me for being a little jealous, mm?"

"Of me?" Nami huffed, getting back onto her chair. She sat down... And Robin was once again a little too close.

"And Luffy too," Robin crooned.

"ACK!"

And a red-faced Nami fell off her deck chair again, as Robin again laughed. Ace ran up to her, beaming.

"Can I play too? That looks like fun!"

"Of course, Ace," Robin chuckled.

"Guhhh..." Nami groaned.

Along the Grand Line, Marine Training Ship Adamant

Purupurupuru... Purupurupuru... Purupurupuru...

Monkey D. Garp was startled out of his nap by the sound of his personal transponder snail ringing. He looked around-It was night watch. Only a few crew were on deck, and all were studiously doing their duty. Not as well as proper Marines, but they had potential.

Garp walked up to the railing, looked out over the waves, and pulled out the mouthpiece.

"Garp speaking," he stated.

"First off," a familiar female voice spoke, "there's no way you can trace this transmission so don't even try."

Garp blinked twice.

"Nami?"

"Hello Garp."

Confusion mixed with wariness and some happiness rose in Garp's chest at the sound of his granddaughter-in-law's voice.

"I... It's good to hear from you?" He offered, a bit lamely.

Nami paused. The snail's features looked just as awkward as Garp felt.

"I just wanted to say thank you," Nami said, "for the photo album. I... I really appreciate it."

Garp smiled, his eyes soft.

"You're welcome. I didn't know Belle-mere personally, but she was a good woman, and a great Marine. I... I wish I had known her. We always ended up in different commands."

"I see," Nami murmured. Garp coughed-The awkwardness was back. He did as he always did in such situations-He plowed on ahead.

"I just wanted you to know that I cleaned house at the Marine Base near Cocoyashi," Garp explained, "A few weeks after you left. That rat faced bastard was giving away Marine shipping routes to Arlong. They killed a lot of Marines, too. The court martial wanted to execute him, but I made sure he was sentenced to Impel Down for life. I didn't want him to have a quick and easy death. Not after all the suffering he profited from."

Nami was silent. Garp sucked in another breath.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry it got so bad before anyone intervened. That's... That's a terrible failure on our part. You shouldn't have had to have gone through that."

The silence stretched on. Garp grit his teeth.

"Thank you," Nami finally said softly. "That means a lot. I also wanted to let you know... Luffy... Luffy doesn't blame you for what happened to Ace."

Garp's breath caught in his throat. The snail was struggling with some emotions, but Nami's voice continued in the same even tone it had started with.

"He doesn't hate you. Neither do I. We... We understand."

Garp bowed his head. His chest... He felt lighter, somehow. As though he'd been lugging around a massive anchor inside. He'd dealt with such weights before, carried them because it was what he did. What a man should do.

Yet this...

"... Thank you," Garp said at last, in as neutral a tone as he could.

"That doesn't mean you're entirely off the hook," Nami stated, her tone now much harsher, "In case you hadn't noticed, your two year old great-granddaughter now has a substantial bounty."

Garp sucked in a deep breath. He should have known things wouldn't have been that easy.

"I am aware. I did try to argue it was absurd, but a Celestial Dragon insisted upon it," Garp growled.

"You could always lead a revolt."

"That wasn't a funny joke the first time."

"Well Dragon had to get it from somewhere."

"There were probably a lot of questionable characters on his mother's side!" Garp growled.

"Look Garp, whatever choices you've made, fine, they're yours," Nami growled, "But are you telling me you DON'T have any contingency plans in place in case your own great-granddaughter is captured by the Marines? None at all?!"

Garp squeezed the snail in his anger, just barely holding back from crushing the poor thing.

"Even if I did... Would I tell you over an open frequency?!"

"I would hope not," Nami stated, "But I want some reassurance!"

Garp sighed.

"... If that happens," Garp said carefully, "There are some steps I could take to ensure she would be all right. Steps that might lead to her escaping back to her family."

A pause.

"Steps I don't know about because I don't do sneaky shit," Garp growled. "But I assure you... They won't get their hands on her."

Nami was silent. Garp ground his teeth. He didn't know how she did it, but his granddaughter-in-law was especially good at making him feel low.

"Ace made his choices... But your daughter is an innocent," Garp stated, "I... I won't let anything happen to her."

The snail looked more... Relaxed, in emulation of the caller on the other end.

"I'll hold you to that," Nami said, "And... We'll try to find some way for you to meet her."

Garp grinned.

"Bwahahaha! Really?! I can play with my sweet little great-granddaughter? And spoil her rotten?! Ohhh that's fantastic! I never got to spoil Luffy after he grew out of being a baby and I just can't wait-!"

Garp saw a lot of his crew were now staring at him. He glared until they all went back to work. Garp then coughed and picked his nose as he tried to sound nonchalant.

"That would be nice, thank you," Garp managed.

"Don't push it, Old Man," Nami growled.

"What?! I was tough on Luffy because he was a boy!" Garp insisted. "I wouldn't play that rough with my darling great-granddaughter! Honest!"

"You'd better not or, Marine Vice-Admiral or not, I'm going to beat the living shit out of you, rob you blind, and dump your naked carcass on the Okama Island!" Nami snarled.

Garp stared at the fearsome-looking snail for a moment... Before laughing.

"Bwahahaha! Luffy's really lucky to have gotten a wife like you! You're the perfect woman for him and I'm happy he married you!"

The snail... blushed deeply.

"Sh-Shut up, you old bastard!" Nami cried, though she couldn't hide how deeply pleased she felt.

She hung up. Garp chuckled, and hung up his snail. He looked up at the stars with a happy smile.

"I'm gonna have to get her a great gift," Garp mused, "No, a lot of great gifts! Hm... Maybe a giant tiger? Luffy loved tigers when he was her age! Or a bear! What little girl wouldn't love a pet bear? Or an elephant... No, no, too big. And the meat is too tough..."

Omake: Big News Morgan 3

Jimmy Scoops: "Uh, Boss, are we sure about this headline?"

The headline reads "Strawhat Luffy Threatens Big News Morgan!"

Big News Morgans: "He did call us! He said his wife was unhappy!"

Jimmy Scoops: "I know. I was there for the call."

Big News Morgans: "That's right! The crackhead told me I made his wife unhappy and I better do something to make it up to her!"

Jimmy Scoops: "Er... So you sent him 500 million berries in gold?"

Big News Morgans: "That's a pittance compared to what we're raking in, Jimmy! And it got us this story!"

Jimmy Scoops: "Fair enough... But given he'll overthrow a kingdom for leftovers... What will he do to us if we really piss him off?"

Big News Morgans: "Then we'll run the story: 'Brave Newspaper Executive Fights Crazed Pirate Crackhead in his Office!'"

Jimmy Scoops: sigh "'Brave' is not the word I would use, sir."