Chapter 3: Escape
Brussels. July 2010.
Was that Benjamin?
Jack cowered behind a dumpster as he listened. The lapping of the water in the river couldn't disguise the slow beat of a vampire's heart.
He sucked in lungfuls of air, preparing to run. He couldn't smell Benjamin's sorrel-and-bay leaf scent yet. He might be able to escape. This wouldn't be like all the other times.
His head spun as he stood up. Hunger had made him lightheaded. A woman strolled along the quay—just the sort of victim Benjamin would pick. The thought made him violently ill. He retched dark blood onto the pavement.
If he jumped into the river, he could at least satiate his thirst. No loss if he drowned. He leaned against the dumpster, gathering his strength. Could he sprint to the river before Benjamin seized him? It was his only chance.
He caught the whiff of something familiar from long ago. Leonard ... Tears welled in his eyes. How many times before had he hallucinated Leonard's scent of raisins and English oak? The feel of his hand on Jack's skin. Their lips pressed together. Distant memories of a life gone forever.
His eyes closed. He was so tired.
"Jack!"
He awoke with a jerk to another hallucination. Leonard stood in front of him, holding him in a tight embrace.
Jack jerked himself free. "Who are you? Benjamin? Did Satu disguise you? You can't take me. I'll kill myself first."
Benjamin or whoever he was grabbed his arms as Jack struggled to free himself. "Jack, it's me, Leonard. You can trust me."
"You're dead," Jack sobbed. "Don't you think I remember?"
#
With that Jack's eyes turned pitch-black as he stared hopelessly into space. Leonard shook him frantically and when he didn't get a response, slapped his face.
Jack snarled and lunged at him. After an instant of disbelief, Leonard hurled Jack to the ground and sat on top of him. Jack was skin and bones—barely able to stand up—and he'd still attacked him? In all the years they'd been together, Leonard had never heard him snarl.
"Jack, this is me, Leonard. No one could imitate my scent. You know that."
Jack hesitated, his eyes constantly shifting between brown and black. This wasn't like his previous bouts of bloodsickness, but Domenico warned he could have blood rage.
Jack's clothes were in tatters. Spatters of blood were on his t-shirt but Leonard didn't see any wounds. Somehow he had to convince Jack to leave with him. "Quick, Benjamin is searching for you. We need to leave now before he finds us."
Jack clung to his arm. "Is it really you? You need to run before he grabs you too."
Leonard smoothed Jack's hair away from his eyes. "He's not taking either one of us, I promise. Can you stand? I have a car a few blocks away."
Jack nodded, his eyes staying brown this time. Leonard cautiously stood up, prepared to tackle him if he tried to escape, but the fight seemed to have left him. His former terrified expression was replaced by one of aching sadness. Leonard had seen that hopeless look on the faces of those waiting to be guillotined. He forced himself to quiet his own rage against Benjamin. That wasn't what Jack needed.
Leonard half-carried him to the car. Three weeks ago, Domenico relayed a tip that Benjamin had been spotted in Amsterdam. Leonard had been searching for him in the Low Countries ever since. He got a lucky break when a daemon in Brussels spotted Jack and relayed the news via Cicely. Leonard thought the hard part would be finding him, but now he realized that was just the first step in restoring Jack to his former self.
The current priority was to get him fed and cleaned up. Leonard drove to the Sonian Forest south of the city. On his way to Brussels, he'd spotted rental cabins there. The isolated location would serve them well. They could hunt in the forest and give Jack a chance to regain his strength.
Leonard pulled into a roadside stop and reserved a cabin on the phone so he wouldn't need to leave Jack alone in the car. The manager gave him the code to use on the lock.
Once they were inside the cabin, Leonard had Jack lie on the bed. He wasn't strong enough to hunt, so Leonard gave him his blood. He hoped that Jack would read how much he'd missed him and how long he'd searched for him.
After Jack drank a few mouthfuls, he pulled back. "Father H is alive too?"
"Of course, he is," Leonard said, treading carefully. "Why do you ask?"
"For years, I assumed he was dead, along with you and Bryn. I still see your corpses in my mind. Benjamin told me you were killed when I was taken. He also said Father H was dead. At first, Benjamin claimed he'd saved me from a witch but later I learned he'd ordered her—Satu is her name—to kidnap me."
In halting words, Jack related what his life had been like. How Benjamin had force-fed him humans until Jack's blood rage was uncontrollable. He only had scattered memories of the past three years. And many of them were wrong. He remembered seeing Bryn's corpse in Saint Petersburg, but she was alive and well. If Jack didn't have the evidence contained in Leonard's blood, he probably wouldn't have believed him.
The witch must have somehow planted the scenes in Jack's mind. Benjamin undoubtedly fed off him to squeeze out every bit of information he could.
"You can't be sure you killed all those people," Leonard argued. "They could have been fake memories planted by Satu, just like your recollections of Bryn, Father H, and me."
Jack's expression grew haunted. "I see my victims' faces whenever I close my eyes. I haven't slept in I don't know how long. For years, it didn't matter. Human blood made me stronger."
"But you told me you're not feeding off them now."
"The last time Benjamin captured me was maybe two months ago. I was in Germany. He took me to Amsterdam. I escaped last month and haven't tasted blood since."
No wonder he was so emaciated. Vampires couldn't survive for long without blood of some sort. "Why didn't you come to London?"
"Why would I? I thought you and Father H were dead."
"But your friends are there—our club, the Garlickhythe gathering."
Jack shook his head forcefully. "I was too ashamed of what I'd become." He stopped and swallowed convulsively, his eyes turning black. "The things I've done ..."
"You don't know that you did any of them," Leonard insisted. "And even if you did, you were being controlled by others. You weren't acting of your free will."
Jack didn't argue, but he clung to Leonard as if he was the only thing keeping him alive.
Leonard could clean him up, feed him, shower him with love. But he feared that his efforts wouldn't be enough. In the past, painting and music helped Jack free himself from nightmares. But Jack's condition was far worse than it had ever been.
As Leonard rubbed his back, Jack gradually relaxed. He should soon be calm enough to be washed off. Leonard wanted to burn the rags he wore.
Jack gave a low, bitter chuckle.
"What is it?" Leonard asked.
"I can still hear it. Philippe's blood vow—the sign that Mistress Roydon has emerged from the past. The hallucination started while Benjamin was punishing me in Amsterdam. I figure it's because I'm terrified about what will happen to her. Benjamin fed off me so often he knows everything." Jack choked back a sob. "At least I know the bloodsong isn't real. I couldn't bear it if Mistress Roydon were in danger because of me."
What was Leonard supposed to do now? He'd been on the verge of telling Jack. The song was real. Philippe had alerted them that they would hear his blood vow when she reemerged in the present and now it had happened.
Father H first heard the song in late June. Since he was a de Clermont, it was louder for him, but Leonard could hear it too. Benjamin undoubtedly did as well. Jack's fear was well-grounded. Benjamin now knew about Diana's life in the past but was there anything in those memories that would cause him to lash out at Diana? Perhaps he'd attack her as a means of getting to Matthew. But the pair were married. If Benjamin were stalking Matthew, he'd find out soon enough about Diana even if he hadn't fed off Jack.
For centuries, Jack had wanted to reunite with the Roydons. But in his current state, he'd panic at the thought. It could easily precipitate another bout of blood rage. Even now, Jack's eyes continually drifted back and forth from black to brown. Would Father H know how to help him?
"How did you find me?" Jack asked wonderingly. "You must have thought I was dead."
Leonard breathed easier at the change of subject. Eventually, Jack would realize through Leonard's blood that the song was real, but the longer the news could be delayed the better.
"I refused to give up," Leonard said, kissing Jack's forehead. "I made a pest of myself, contacting everyone I knew. Your photo has been circulated throughout the world but Domenico provided the most help."
Jack's eyes widened. "Domenico?"
"That's right. He and Aurora were both invaluable. I contacted them when you first disappeared and have kept in touch ever since."
"But why would they help you?"
Leonard kissed him. "Because of you. They didn't forget we saved Aurora from the guillotine and promised to check their sources. Last spring, they hit paydirt. Domenico came to London to alert me that Benjamin was alive and holding someone captive who resembled you. In late June, I got a second message from Domenico that Benjamin was spotted in Amsterdam. That helped me narrow my search."
Jack's fingers trembled as he touched Leonard's cheek. "You would have been better off if you'd accepted I was dead. I'm not the person I was." He swallowed convulsively. "I've become a monster. I don't deserve to live, and I know I don't deserve you."
"I'm here to correct that wrong-headed thinking," Leonard said robustly even as his heart ached at Jack's distress. "You call yourself broken. I know I'm not whole unless you're by my side. The only thing that matters is that we're back together. We'll work on the other stuff later."
#
Jack's life continued in fragments. The drive to the rental cabin didn't register at all, but he remembered Leonard calling Father H on his cell phone. He lay numbly on the bed as Leonard told him they were coming home. Father H didn't own a cell phone, but Leonard had provided him with a burner phone before he left. Leonard didn't give many details. Or maybe he had and Jack simply had drifted away.
It felt so good to be clean again. Jack soaked in the tub for hours but he could still smell Benjamin on himself. How long before it would wear off? Leonard provided him with some of his clothes to wear. Smelling Leonard's scent on them helped to combat the stench of Benjamin.
The next day they drove to Dieppe on the Normandy coast. Leonard had brought along forged EU identification cards Jack had made seemingly a lifetime ago. They'd been intended for emergency use, which this was. Jack knew Benjamin was searching for him. It wouldn't be long before he'd find him again. And why wouldn't he? He'd captured him every time before.
Leonard appeared to share Jack's fear. They stayed away from humans, any of whom could be a spy for Benjamin. There was an additional side benefit. If Jack wasn't around people, he didn't have to worry about hurting them.
Leonard borrowed a rowboat from a contact. They used it to cross the Channel. From there, they traveled to London on foot.
During the trip, Leonard related what was going on in London. What Bridewell Studio was up to. How Cicely was eager to have him back. When Jack's head was clear enough to follow Leonard's anecdotes, he wondered how he could possibly resume his life after what he'd done.
Then there was Mistress Roydon. Leonard finally admitted the bloodsong was real and that made Jack doubly appreciate the no-win situation he was in. She'd be horrified at what he'd become. Master Roydon wouldn't want him anywhere near his family. Would Master Roydon feel compelled to kill him? And honestly, wasn't that the best solution for everyone?
Benjamin warned Jack that if he ever tried to associate with anyone he cared about, he'd wind up killing them. Blood rage flowed in his veins now and he was unable to control it. All those he loved were living under the double threat. If Jack didn't kill them under the influence of blood rage, Benjamin would as a punishment for his disobedience.
Leonard became so upset when Jack discussed his limited options that he no longer brought them up. But after he'd seen Father H and had the chance to thank him for all he'd done, he didn't plan to stick around.
It was a little past midnight when they arrived in London. Leonard had timed it so that the streets would be deserted. But even so, Jack felt the sickness rising within him. He tried to control it, but his panic increased with every step he took.
When they were a few blocks from the bell tower, he stopped Leonard. "Father H can't see me like this. You shouldn't have told him you found me. He's better off thinking I'm dead." Then when I am, he won't grieve a second time.
He tried to jerk free from Leonard's grasp, but Leonard wouldn't let him.
"Listen to me," Leonard pleaded. "Father H loves you, no matter what you've done. We're family. We'll get through together. Besides, you need his protection more than ever. If you don't stay in his domain, Benjamin could seize you once more."
#
Were any of his words sinking in? Jack's eyes had gone pitch-black. Leonard didn't think it was blood rage. More likely bloodsickness. They'd made it to London with only one incident. When Leonard borrowed the rowboat, his contact, an old friend, kissed him farewell. Jack nearly lost it. He'd never been possessive or jealous before, but he certainly was now. Leonard wouldn't make the same mistake again.
He kept a firm grip on Jack, guiding him along the final blocks to the bell tower. He wasn't sure if Jack was even conscious. He seemed more like a sleepwalker.
Father H was already at the doorway when they arrived. By then, Jack's eyes were back to normal but his nerves were shot. When he saw Father H, he froze, his face turning whiter than a ghost.
Leonard muttered a silent prayer that Father H wouldn't be aloof. He'd sent countless text messages alerting him to Jack's condition, but gotten the barest of responses. He hoped it was because Father H was no good at texting.
He needn't have worried. Disregarding vampire propriety, Father H wrapped Jack in his arms as if he were a child.
"Welcome home, son. You're back where you belong," he said gruffly. "My world was empty indeed without you."
A blood tear trickled down Jack's cheek. "I've missed you so much," he whispered. "I thought you were dead."
Father H stroked the tear off his cheek. "I feared the same for you."
Leonard watched Father H carefully. Except for a tightening of his lips, he was doing a good job of concealing his anger toward Benjamin. Leonard had experienced Father H's fury over the phone and knew that Jack wouldn't be able to handle it. Leonard was in full agreement with Father H that as soon as Jack could safely be left alone, they'd track Benjamin down and kill him. But Jack's well-being was a higher priority.
"You need sustenance," Father H said quietly, not dwelling on Jack's appearance although it must have shocked him. Despite feeding on Leonard, Jack was still far too thin. "I've prepared a meal." Nodding at Leonard, he added, "We'll use the crypt."
Leonard knew his intention. Father H hoped the paintings Jack had made of Diana and her fellow witches would help reconnect him to his former life. But he didn't realize how much Jack dreaded reuniting with Diana.
Jack's reaction was about what Leonard had feared. "I hope she never finds out what I've done," he whispered, his eyes growing black once more as he stared at the paintings.
Father H's reaction was swift. He forced Jack onto a bench. "Drink this. It's deer blood and wine. You can't give in to the sickness. I won't let you." He held the tankard to Jack's lips till he finally took a sip.
"You are not to blame," Father H continued, speaking slowly as if to drill the words into his head. "I'm the one who should apologize."
The shock of his statement roused Jack better than the wine. "You have no reason to."
"Don't I? You tell me," he challenged. "I promised your mother Diana I'd keep you safe, and I failed."
To Leonard's knowledge, Father H had never spoken of Diana as Jack's mother. He was trying to provide Jack with something to cling to when all around him was blackness.
"What happened wasn't your fault," Jack whispered.
"I'm comforted you believe that. That means you also realize you're not to blame. Both of us were caught up in situations beyond our control. What matters now is not to let our emotions continue to overwhelm us."
Leonard's heart filled with gratitude for Father H's words. He seldom spoke from the heart, preferring to show his affection through good-natured mockery. Jack was responding well.
"All three of us have our work cut out for us," Father H said, nodding at both him and Jack. "We've heard Diana's bloodsong. We need to find her."
Jack shook his head, his distress escalating once more. "I can't—"
"You have to," Father H ordered brusquely. "Surely you haven't forgotten about the manuscript we've been guarding for her all these centuries? Edward Kelly told me to deliver it to her, and I intend to do just that. You agreed to help me, and I'm holding you to your promise."
Jack didn't raise any further objections, but his breath came out in ragged gasps as he fought the approach of yet another relapse into sickness. Based on what Leonard had witnessed, during any time of intense emotion, the sickness seized Jack by the throat.
"Listen to me," Father H said in a quieter voice. "I'm not advocating we depart immediately."
Leonard breathed easier at his words. Jack was far too sick for any trip.
"Diana won't be easy to find. Although we hear her bloodsong, it doesn't indicate her location. While Leonard and I search for her, you'll use this time to heal. The fall equinox is about two months away. We'll target the week before the festival to deliver the page. We can celebrate its safe delivery at Mabon."
Father H's strategy to give Jack a definite date and goal to focus on was smart. It could keep him from sinking further into depression.
"This is also for your sake that we need to find Diana," Father H continued. "Your father Matthew will undoubtedly be with her."
"He's not my—"
"Yes, he is, Jack," Father H insisted "Anyone who's looked into your heart realizes it. Philippe told us during his last visit to London that Matthew knows how to control blood rage. He'll be able to teach you."
Leonard privately had doubts about Matthew agreeing to it. For untold centuries, anyone with blood rage was considered too dangerous a liability to be allowed to live. Just because Philippe had protected Matthew didn't mean that Matthew would do the same with Jack. Ensuring that no harm came to him would be up to Leonard and Father H.