June 5th, 2006
Hermione faced herself in the reflection of the mirror above the sink. She poked and prodded her face for any clues of what was happening inside her body and found nothing- or really, nothing she could convince herself was a real sign.
Unfailingly logical. Isn't that what people always said about her? Didn't they always compliment her deduction and reasoning? Isn't that what made her so successful?
This wasn't logical. It made no sense; it had no reason. She and Draco were young and perfectly happy. They each had a child from another marriage; why wasn't it happening for them.
She'd hoped the bonding ritual would tip the odds in their favor. It had definitely worked; both of them were more at ease with wandless magic. And the sex was incredible when her mind wasn't overridden with facts and figures from advice she'd read, both muggle and magical.
He'd given her this life; a home, children, and a second chance at being with someone she loved. She could give him this in return, she could, and she would.
"Foetus Reveilo." She waved the wand in a scanning motion over her abdomen. Nothing happened, not even the slightest flicker. Again and again, she tried, using different inflections on the incantation...nothing.
"Granger," Draco's wary voice came through the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"
"Yes. I just...I need-" her voice cracked. Draco made to push open the door, but she sealed it shut with a jab of her wand. She tried to spell a few more times as the sound of Draco leaning against the door made clear he wasn't going anywhere.
"Hermione …"
"I'm just doing it wrong-"
"Doubt it."
Tears fell heavily from her face as she admitted defeat for the day. Leaving the bathroom, she shuffled the few steps to fold into his arms.
"Happy birthday," she mumbled against him as their magic hummed happily at being in contact.
"Thank you." He kissed the top of her head, running his long fingers through her curls.
"I wanted to give you - "
"I know. I know I want it too. If it happens, then fine, but-" he tilted her chin up to look him in the eye, gently caressing her with his thumb. "I just want to enjoy what we have. It's already far more than I deserve."
Hermione shook her head with a weak smile. "We've fought for this Draco...we've earned the right to whatever happiness we want." His lips pressed tightly together. "Yes, you have to. You've fought to change, challenged your parents to do the same...you have a Weasley as a stepchild." She brought him in for a lingering kiss, pouring everything into it. "You know me, I don't give up."
"Gryffindors." He mumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Stuck with me now, Malfoy. Come on, let's open your birthday present before work. Rose helped me pick it out."
Draco turned over the tickets repeatedly while Rose punched the air excitedly, shouting at the top of her lungs.
"Cannon's versus Falcons, this Saturday…in the Minister's box…."
Hermione combed her hair back nervously. "Kingsley wasn't interested in going… I had to challenge his intern to a duel...he backed down, of course...I know it's not the World Cup, but they are good seats, and of course, we can go back and meet the Cannon's-"
"Rather not -"
"I figured. I know it's not -"
"Granger-"
"And we can do something else if -"
"Hermione. " She stopped talking and met his eyes across the table, where he was grinning broadly at her. "This is perfect. Thank you."
But it's not a baby, something whispered in her mind.
July 2006
The following month came and went with no changes. Hermione found herself performing the pregnancy detection charm multiple times a week with sheer dumb hope cheering her on.
After asking around, she managed to secure a meeting with St. Mungo's leading magical fertility specialist and insisted on coming alone.
Now she clung to the edge of the exam table, fingers curling in and out of the cheap leather. A projection of her body hovered in the corner, almost entirely normal, except for a single red orb over where her uterus would be.
The Healer came in; a kind-faced witch with a stack of paperwork and several glowing bottles.
"Ms. Granger?"
"Granger-Malfoy."
"Oh, hyphenated again, I see."
Hermione gave her a terse smile. "Please, call me Hermione. "
"Yes, Ms. Granger. I like to focus on the positive. First of all, Mr. Malfoy comes from a magically powerful line and has an heir so- "
"He has a daughter, not that antiquated traditions matter -"
"So I doubt there's anything wrong with him-"
"Clearly, you don't live with him." Hermione deadpanned.
"Furthermore, we seemed to have come across an abnormality on your scan. But Ms. Granger, you mustn't worry, we have lots of options for a witch like yourself. You and Mr. Malfoy will have your son soon enough."
Wishing she had opted for a muggle solution; instead, she took the paperwork stack, and the Healer started her explanation.
"I don't like the color -" Evelyn's nose turned up at the image on the computer screen.
"Well, I can fix that later," Draco mumbled, reading the description on the side. The image featured a selection of luxury cars, which Hermione insisted were far too expensive. Still, his father in law insisted that her car was a bucket of rust with equal enthusiasm and needed replacing. She had refused outright.
But Malfoy's shouldn't be seen in anything called as such. Granger could keep her rust bucket if it made her happy, but he would not be seen in it again.
"Click there where it says 'Colors'. "
"I did. Nothing happened. I think the mice is broken."
Evelyn huffed. "Click the arrow, and it's just a mouse, daddy. Oh, pink!"
" Silver?"
"Boring."
"Well, it's my money, so boring it is then. Oh, wait... this one only has the two seats…"
"Nowhere to put my baby brother then."
Draco turned very slowly towards his daughter. "Nowhere to put you. And where did you get that idea?"
"IT IS TRUE THEN!" Evelyn squealed with glee. "I heard Aunt Pansy and aunt Daffy talking about it. When's he get here? Can I name him? Can I pick out clothes for him?"
He leaned back in the chair and folded his arms over his chest. "It's more complicated than that. But what would you name him?"
"Scorpius," she answered right away as the Floo went off, "Mummy's home, close the screen."
"I am-"
"The red 'x.' You're clicking wrong!"
"You turn it off. I'll stall her."
He hurried out to the sitting room to see Hermione had already sat down on the couch, hunched over and crying.
Wrapping her up in his arms, he leaned her against his chest, letting her tears spill on him.
"I take it the Healer didn't go well…"
"It was awful, Draco. I don't know what -" she picked her head up. "I don't want Evelyn to hear any of this…"
"Right. Tilly!" The house-elf appeared, a bowl of chocolate truffles and tissues in hand. "Please have Evelyn go up to her room. Give her the chocolate if you must." The elf nodded and vanished.
"Oh, by the way, you're freed!" Hermione choked
"She says we'll need her one day...I don't know what she means by it...anyway, the Healer…"
The witch sat up and pulled the papers and potions out of her bag. "This explains, in excruciating detail, what's wrong with me and the side effects of using fertility potions. This is the standard potion," she held up one dark pink vial. "And this." she held up a glowing blue vial, and her hand shook. "Is for anxiety, because apparently, I seem very worked up about something. " She slammed the paperwork on her knee. "I can't imagine what!"
Draco took the little glass. "You don't need this. We don't need any of this...we can just -"
"I won't do it! These side effects are insane! and I've already messed up the timeline for my career, already been divorced, I don't want to fail at this too." She sobbed even harder into her hands, curling away from him.
Draco tried several times, in vain, to press her in close again. Giving up, he settled for putting a hand on her back and carding his fingers through his hair. " You haven't failed at anything…"
She waved him away. " Stop! I won't take them! Just give me a minute please!"
September 2006
The car stopped and started again as someone honked loudly behind them.
"Yeah, alright, fuck off! " Draco yelled, starting the car again.
"Yeah, fuck off!" Screamed Rose from the back seat.
"Rosie don't yell at them. Go like this." From the front passenger seat, Rob waved a middle finger at the car as it swerved around them.
"Thank you again for teaching me to drive," Draco mumbled as the car turned very slowly around the block.
"Thank you for the new car. Helen nearly fainted. People usually don't buy them in pairs. Turn left…. Your other left...that's alright, we'll go around again." He put his glasses back on. "How's Hermione doing?"
Draco shook his head and then tilted it back towards Rose. The truth of the matter was Hermione had grown deeply depressed since the visit to the Healer. Draco had been dropping hints about her stopping their efforts in trying, but she wouldn't hear of it.
"She took some time off work…"
"My Hermione?"
"Yeah. Around her annual review and everything."
"That's not like her…"
" No, it's not."
The muggle man seemed to consider this, then glanced behind him to Rose listening in before trying to change the subject. "Now, am I going to get to witness another fight like the one between your father and Arthur?"
"I had forgotten about that…" Draco felt heat creep into his face. "Sorry about…the things he said."
"I remember seeing a terrified little boy getting dragged away down the alley by the elbow too. It's in the past now. Left this time, there we go. Holy tits, that's an improvement from the last house." Rob pointed to a driveway that Draco inched into. The large Tudor house was not what either of them had been expecting.
"Cannons had an alright season in the end … don't tell him I said that; I'll deny it." He stared at Ron Weasley's new house for a second, as Rose tried to free herself from the backseat. "Mines bigger," he muttered, letting her out while his father-in-law laughed and said he'd stay in the car.
Ron came loping down the path from the front door, waving at them. "Malfoy, hang on. Got something to say to you." Draco squared his shoulders, ready for another fight. "You really go through with it? Marrying her?"
Draco held up his hand to show a wedding ring glinting in the sunlight.
"Congrats then, I suppose."
"And to you, on the house."
"Yeah, well...time to settle down and get serious, innit? I've wanted to sit down with Hermione and see if I can't get more time with Rose, but she's been a bit off. I know I haven't been the most involved, but...things are changing. I've changed."
On cue, the front door open and Lavender Brown stuck her head out and waved to Draco. She emerged fully on the front step in an oversized Cannon's jersey, the scars left by Greyback almost a decade ago adorning her smiling face.
"Settling down, huh?" Draco gave a single wave back to the witch. "I'll relay the message Weasley, got to be off."
He hugged Rose goodbye and let her run off to her father. When he got seated in the car, Rob clapped him on the shoulder.
"That was good! No one threw a punch!"
Draco was grateful Daphne had started taking her niece on Sundays for "lessons" like dancing, French, and etiquette. Without all the pureblood rhetoric trash that had accompanied his upbringing. He needed to speak to Hermione alone.
Pushing open the bedroom door revealed his wife, still in her pajamas- oversized t-shirt and shorts, tear-strewn face locked on a book open against her legs.
"Everything go alright?" she asked, marking her place.
"Yeah, it went fine. Got there in one piece and didn't start an international incident, so overall a success." Hermione gave him a weak smile as he toed off his shoes and climbed onto his side of the bed. She curled her body around his.
"Granger."
"Hmm…"
"I think we should stop trying. It's too much on you. Let's just enjoy the kids we do have." His throat felt heavy, and he spoke towards the ceiling. Being this upfront and intentional with his feelings was new and uncharted territory. He'd never learned just to voice things outright but to instead scheme and manipulate until the odds turned in his favor. She made it easier to be brave, but it didn't take away all of the fear.
She sat up, looking shocked. "What happened to ambitious? What happened to cunning and ruthless? To stop at nothing until you got what you wanted."
"I have what I want."
"But not everything… "
He sat up too, words failing him as he tried to piece together everything that was clambering for attention. "This is everything. This isn't a cell or a grave in Azkaban like I thought I would end up in after the war. I keep toeing the line to stay out of because one misstep sends me there, away from you, away from our daughters, forever. This isn't a life of service to a madman I thought would be my future ten years ago." He grabbed Hermione's hand before she could get up, probably to retreat from the solemn truth of his word. "It's not even the life of loneliness I thought I would have after Astoria died. Ambition isn't always wanting to be Minister for fucking Magic. For me, it's pulling myself out of a hell hole again and again even when I didn't want to. Right now, it's about not going back down in there because I lose you. I don't know if I can do it again, Hermione. I want to stop trying."
"I...I don't want you to hold it against me." she blinked away fresh tears. "If it never happens. I don't want you to resent me. I want so much with you...and I can't stand the thought that we'll wake up in another few years and suddenly regret everything…"
Draco rushed to her side and cupped her face in his hands. "I already told you, this is everything. You are everything."
She sobbed again, curling her hands into his shirt as if needing him for support. "I hate this, I hate this so much."
Instinctively his hand went to her shoulders and made the same soothing gesture it always did. Hermione gave a few more gasping breaths and started to still. "I love you." Her voice was depleted of emotion.
"Always." He answered back.
Chapter 17: Just when you give up
Summary:
But...they had been trying for ages, with nothing to show. Perhaps it was just her imagination getting the better of her.
Mumbling the incantation, she scanned herself, again and again, the same faint light appearing each time. For the millionth time that year, happy tears pricked at her eyes.
Of course, it happened as soon as they stopped trying; of course, it did.
Notes:
First of all, I can't thank you all enough for your continued love, comments, and kudos on this epic saga. They really do uplift and inspire me to get this thing going!
Second of all, a big ol' thank you to my Beta TalonWillow for keeping me and this story in check!
Chapter Text
October 2006
"Let me see it…"
Hermione took a deep, calming breath and shifted her mass of hair to the side of her head nervously. "It's not much. Nothing like what you have." Her eyes moved to the sleeve of magical tattoos covering Draco's arm.
"Obviously." He leaned over her body, resting his weight on his arms, and let his hand skim over curves to fall on the waistband of her skirt. "May I?" She gave a single nod, fixing her eyes on the ceiling.
Cool air hit the skin of her hips as Draco carefully tugged the skirt down to expose all of her new tattoo. Tiny symbols decorated the inside of her left hip, etched in silver, so they stood out on her skin.
"Runes." He mused, tracing them gently with his fingers," Should have known. I think I know what it's for, but I can tell your itching to tell me. Go on, lecture me."
She huffed. "It's not a lecture if it's just a simple explanation. It's an ancient fertility spell, but there are no records of it being used in modern times. It was found in a burial site of what appeared to be a very well-loved witch...I know it's vain - it's ...I can't think when you do that…" His hands had wandered up to tease the skin at the top of her ribs, skating around her breasts. His hips had wedged between hers, rucking the skirt up further. She groaned as he stopped and pushed the skirt up all the way.
"Try. I like it when you talk about things you're passionate about…"
"I don't...we don't ...don't you rip those. We're going to spend an entire vault on knickers at this rate - "
"Worth it." But still, he shimmied them down her thighs gently. "Tell me what the spell says."
"It says… well it's debated because...I think it means… gods. Please do that again- "
"Keep talking…"
"It was just that her children and her family were everything, and she'd do anything to protect them all and to please bless her with more. Some suggest that included a stepchild, which is why I thought of it so often." She said it all very quickly, gripping the sheets tight between her fingers as Draco continued his teasing. "It's really just symbolic on me. Now will you please - "
"But we're just getting started…"
November 2006
Hermione's finger shook, gripping her wand as she stared down at her belly. Softer than it had been the first time she'd performed this spell, something felt so familiar.
But...they had been trying for ages, with nothing to show. Perhaps it was just her imagination getting the better of her.
Mumbling the incantation, she scanned herself, again and again, the same faint light appearing each time. For the millionth time that year, happy tears pricked at her eyes.
Of course, it happened as soon as they stopped trying; of course, it did.
She plotted countless ways to tell Draco. Maybe she could record it? What if he wasn't as thrilled as she hoped he would be? Perhaps she could find a sweet and personal memento to mark the occasion.
But first, this baby was demanding food. Opening the bathroom door, she saw her husband, laying his robes for the day out on the bed, in just a pair of low slung shorts, hair still tousled from sleep.
"You alright, Granger?"
"I'm pregnant." The words spilled out before she could stop them, escaping on the winds, ruining all her best ideas. "Just now. Dammit. Forget I said that -"
He dropped the robes in his hands and stared at her. " You want me to forget that?! Are you mad?!"
"I'm not a good liar!" she stomped her foot petulantly.
"No one said you were!" he laughed. "Are you serious? " She nodded vigorously, crying full-on. He rushed to her side and picked her up, locking them in a kiss.
"Don't jostle me too much; I'm a bit...Do we have any blueberry scones? Nevermind, I'll get the ones at work. Are you...are you crying?"
He sniffed heavily. "No, of course not. I just can't believe this is happening." He put her down carefully. "When do we tell the kids? Do you want to go to the Healer first - "
"Let's tell everyone on Christmas. The kids will never keep a secret, and I do want to see a mediwitch first to confirm first. But before anything else, I really really need tea and scone…Oh, Merlin, I can't believe I'm doing this again."
"Just once more."
"That's it."
December 2006
Hermione discreetly downed a vial of anti-nausea potion while Draco watched her out of the corner of his eye. She shuddered at the medicinal taste, but Floo travel made her ill these days.
"I can do it better." He muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
"That's what the nurse prescribed. Are you a nurse, Draco?"
"No Granger, I'm not because your Auror's - "
"I know I know wouldn't know a poison from their own arseholes . And they aren't my Auror's yet; that's next on the list."
Evelyn came into the room with her giant " Pop up book of Dragons." Tucked under one arm, pulling on gloves, with all the elegance she could muster. "I'm ready to be seen now."
Draco shook his head and bent down to help her with the gloves. "We'll only be at the Burrow for a second." She gave him a look as if she very much doubted it as he straightened up. "Are you ready ?" He asked pointedly to Hermione.
"Yes. I am. Are you?" She asked, fiddling with the lower buttons on her coat.
"You two keep talking like that, and it's making me nervous," Evelyn said, looking at the pair of them.
"Alright. The Burrow!" Hermione called out, throwing the Floo powder and stepping through.
The tiny house was an explosion of noise and color compared to their own home. Greetings and "Happy Christmas" were shouted as George immediately cornered Draco with the words, "How'd you like to be even richer, Malfoy? Got an investment opportunity for you - "
"No." Cut in Hermione before being dragged away into the kitchen.
"We'll talk tomorrow," muttered Draco as George gave him a knowing wink.
In the kitchen, everyone was talking over one another excitedly. "Gin. I need to make an announcement." Hermione squeezed the other witches' hand. Her mouth fell open as her face lit up.
"Really?! Well, I have no idea what it could be! Let's find out, shall we?" Then with impressive speed, Ginny rounded up her entire family, shepherding them back into the sitting room.
Hermione looked out at the sea of Weasley's, including her own daughter on Molly's lap, minus Ron. Evelyn hovered still nervously behind Draco's legs.
"Well, I won't skate around it. I just wanted to tell you all once, and please don't tell the Prophet, yet, that I'm pregnant." She smiled widely, flooded with relief to say the words out loud finally.
Ginny was loudest with a happy squeal. "You're going to get your boy, and I'm going to get my girl!"
Evelyn shouted, "FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING AGES!"
Over the din of other mixed enthusiastic responses, Hermione heard Rose ask, " What's per-nant?" To Molly. The older witch responded with, "It means you're going to have a half brother or sister! Isn't that exciting ?"
"Half?"
"Well, they won't have the same daddy as you, so it's only half. Just like Evelyn is only your step-sister because she had a different mommy and daddy. All your uncles and Ginny are full siblings because me and Grandad are their parents.
"But it doesn't matter." Hermione injected. "It doesn't matter at all. We're all a family, and we love you all just the same." She helped Rose hop down from Molly's lap. "We need to go now."
"I was just explaining how it is. She has to learn one day they aren't her real family like we are!"
"That's not true, Molly! "Hermione snapped, louder than the rest of the room. "You are not her mother, and you are not qualified to explain our family dynamics. I'm not a new blushing bride in an arranged marriage. I am my own witch, with my own, brash muggle-born ideas about how family works. It doesn't matter whose half, step, or whatever in my home. Blood doesn't mean anything to us, not after what I've …. we've been through." She huffed, hoisted Rose on her hip, winded and sick to her stomach. Without taking her eyes off Molly, she shouted. "Draco! We're leaving. Let's go!
January 2007
"Good afternoon Mr.Malfoy and Mrs. Granger -Malfoy, I'll be your Healer for the duration of your pregnancy. You can call me Healer Bones or just Susan if you'd like."
"Susan...we've known each other since we were eleven." Hermione chuckled at the strawberry blonde witch.
"I know, but that's the first time I've got to say that!" Susan squealed and did a little dance in place. "Thank you both for letting me take you on as my first solo patient!"
Draco pointed to her, "Ravenclaw...right?"
Susan laughed. "You always did have a sharp sense of humor, Malfoy."
She turned her back for a minute, and Hermione threw him a reproachful look.
"I honestly don't remember her-"
"Well, think of something-"
Susan turned back around. "So if you'll just lie back on the table, very good, and I will just -" she performed a set of complicated wand motions above Hermione. An ultrasound like image appeared, a tiny fluttering ball of light in the center. "Magical signature is nice and strong, a good indication of health." She poked and prodded the image to see more angles. "So I'm going to put your estimated due date on August 2nd, but remember that's just an estimation; babies are rarely born on their due dates."
"Evelyn went a solid week over." Draco mused, unable to take his eyes off the light.
"Oh no, we won't be doing that. No, thank you." Hermione mumbled. "That's awfully close to Harry's birthday. That'd be so cute!"
"No son of mine is sharing a birthday with any of the Potters." He groused.
Susan snorted, and both of them turned their attention back to her. "Oh, I just think it's funny how you're so sure it's a boy. Babies never do as we expect them to."
Draco glared at the Healer. "I remember you now. You spliched yourself in apparition lessons."
Susan didn't bat an eyelash towards him, shrinking the image down and producing a picture for Hermione. "And you were an adorable bouncing ferret."
Hermione smiled broadly. "I think this is the start to something wonderful, Healer Bones."