Chapter 34: Alice

As Paul pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, I felt calmer than I'd felt the entire time I was gone.

We exited Sue's car and she gave both Paul and me tight hugs before getting into the driver's seat and driving off. Paul had our bags in tow and he wrapped his free arm around my waist, leading me up to his apartment. We were quiet in the elevator ride up to his floor and I leaned against him, resting my head against his shoulder. He squeezed my shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to my temple.

That small moment between us was so serene and calm that I never wanted it to end. Part of me wished the elevator ride had taken longer so I could enjoy this moment alone with him.

The doors opened and we walked down the hallway to his apartment and I felt anticipation rising in my stomach; despite the urge to stay in that elevator forever, I was so excited to be back in the little safe haven I'd built here with Paul.

Upon entering the apartment, I almost felt overcome with emotion for the second time today. Everything looked exactly as it had when I'd left, but my memory hadn't served it justice. There was nothing quite like the feeling of being back in the only place I'd ever felt like I could call home.

"You okay?" Paul asked.

I nodded. "I'm just…I'm happy to be back."

He dropped our bags on the floor and grasped my face in his hands, kissing me deeply. "You have no idea how happy I am to have you back here."

"Oh, I think I have some idea," I said with a smile. "Is Jared gonna be here tonight?"

He shook his head. "He's staying at Kim's tonight. He knew we'd be coming back today and figured he'd give us some privacy."

"That's nice of him," I noted.

He pressed a soft kiss to my temple before stepping away from me and taking our bags into the bedroom. I heard him unpacking his bag and putting his things away. As he did that, I began to gather the ingredients for pancakes.

I'd made them for him before and I knew that he'd liked them, so I figured I'd make them for him again.

He re-entered the kitchen just as I was beginning to pour the batter into the frying pan. He chuckled as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Breakfast for dinner?"

I smiled and leaned back against him. "I know how much you liked them last time."

"Liked?" he scoffed. "I loved them."

My smile grew as I flipped the first pancake over. I turned around in his arms and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. His hold tightened on me slightly and I rested my head against his shoulder, sighing contently. I was so happy to be back in his arms again—I'd made a huge mistake in leaving him and knew that I would never be able to do it again.

As the smell of cooking pancakes wafted into the air, I broke away from him and went back to cooking for him. I finished making the pancakes and set them down on the table for him so he could eat.

I made quick work of cleaning the dirty frying pan before sitting down across from him, watching him while he ate. He felt my eyes on him and flashed a quick smile at me before turning back to his meal.

My phone ringing drew my eyes away from him and I fished my phone out of my pocket. It was a call I'd been anticipating and I was surprised that it had taken this long.

"Hello, Alice."

"Are you back?!" she asked.

I smiled into the phone. "You're late. I've been back in La Push for a whole hour and you've waited this long to call?"

"I figured I'd give you a chance to settle in before calling," she said. There was the slightest edge to her voice and it threw me off.

"Is everything okay?"

"Not exactly," she said carefully—I could tell she knew Paul could hear her and whatever she was upset about was something she didn't want him to know about. Paul looked up at me and furrowed his brow.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing! We just have a lot to catch up about," she said, her tone changing instantly. Suddenly she sounded like her usual bubbly self again, but I knew something was up.

"I'd like that," I said, still slightly thrown off by her shift in tone. "When are you free?"

"Anytime," she said. "The sooner the better. I've missed you!"

"Okay," I said. "I'll come by as soon as I can."

She ended the call without saying goodbye to me and I met Paul's eyes hesitantly.

"That sounded serious," he noted.

"It did," I said, chewing on my lip. "I should probably head over…but I don't want to leave you."

He smiled and finished his last bite of pancake. "Honestly, I'm just gonna take a nap because I'm exhausted."

"I'll try to be back quick," I said, standing from my chair and pecked him on the cheek.

"Take your time, I'm sure you have a lot to talk about with her," he said.

"See you soon," I said, reluctant to leave him. I kissed him once more before leaving the apartment and running to Forks.

The route back to the Cullen's house was somehow familiar yet foreign at the same time. I couldn't help but feel slightly anxious as the large house on the river came into view. I was sure the Cullens would welcome me back into Forks just as they had upon my initial arrival, but there was the tiniest pill of doubt planted in the back of my mind that they would resent me for leaving them.

I walked to the front door of the house and didn't even have a chance to knock before the door blew open and Alice's tiny arms were flung around my shoulders, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Sorry I missed the wedding," I said, somewhat sheepishly.

"It's okay," she said, arms still wrapped tight around me. "Probably better that you weren't there, honestly."

"Why? What happened?" I asked,

"The wolves were on high alert," she said, breaking away from me. "Some of our distant vampire friends came to the wedding and they were all on edge because of it. And…Jacob came back."

"Wait…Jacob left?" I asked.

"Paul didn't tell you?" she asked.

I shook my head. "We've had a lot to go over the past couple days."

"Right, you're gonna have to tell me all about it," she said. "Come on, let's go inside. We left your room the way it was for when you came back."

"You knew I was coming back?" I asked, smile quirking at my lips.

"I kept getting flashes of your return," she said as we entered the Cullen's house. "I assume you kept considering coming back and then deciding against it?"

I nodded sheepishly. "I had to fight against coming back sooner."

"I wish you had," she said. "We've missed you."

"Speaking of: where is everyone?" I asked. By now we'd reached the upper level of the silent house and were quickly approaching my bedroom.

"Hunting trip."

"How come you didn't go?"

She hesitated. "It's part of what I have to tell you."

"It's bad, isn't it?" I asked.

"Potentially," she said, opening the door to my bedroom. We went into the room and sat on my bed together so I was finally able to get a good look at her. Of course, she looked the same as she always did; with her delicate, pixie like features and spiky black hair, but her eyes were pitch black—darker than I'd ever seen them before. There was an air of tension in her eyes and in the way she held herself, but it was the most minute difference in how she normally was that I knew she was trying her best to hide it. I wanted to ask her why she didn't go on the hunting trip with everyone else if she was so thirsty, but she spoke again before I could. "But first, tell me what's been going on with you."

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Why your eyes are red."

I exhaled deeply—I should've known this would be Alice and the Cullen's biggest concern with my return to Forks. I looked away from her, chewing on my lip. I was embarrassed by my recent lapse in self control—there was no excuse for it.

"I'm not upset with you," she said gently. "I've helped Jas with this since we got together. With you, though, it's always seemed so easy."

"It was a coping mechanism," I said. "The first human I fed on was an accident—he scraped his hands and when the scent of his blood hit me I couldn't stop myself. I promised myself that I'd only feed on humans who deserved it—no one innocent. But then…I fed on a girl in a club. That was when I knew I'd fully lost control. I don't know how much worse I would've gotten if Paul hadn't come for me."

"How are you doing now?"

"Better," I said. "Being back with him has helped. I was scared for the plane ride home but it wasn't too bad."

"We'll help you," Alice said. "Anything you need, you know we're here."

"I appreciate that," I said.

"How was it, being back in Boston?"

"It was weird," I said. I told her about Paul meeting my family and she gave me a sad smile.

"I haven't been back to Biloxi since I've been turned. I can't imagine how…surreal it must feel."

"It wasn't the first time I've been back there," I said, glancing down at my mother's ring and remembering when Will had dug up my grave to get it for me. "But I never get used to seeing an empty grave with my name on it."

She shivered. "Was it nice to see your family?"

I nodded. "It was nice to see that my sister is happy."

She smiled. "And you got to see your niece and her child."

"That made the entire trip worth it," I said.

"How has Paul been since you've reunited?"

"Better than expected honestly," I said. "I didn't think he'd be able to forgive me after what I did."

"That's the imprint," she said.

"He's still a little tense at times but other than that he's been completely normal with me," I explained. "And he's been nothing but supportive about my recent diet."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said. "The wolves don't have the best history with our kind because of our diet—I would hate for something like that to drive the two of you apart."

"Are you warming up to him?" I teased.

"I can see how happy he makes you," she shrugged. "And besides…you two are soulmates." She paused and took a deep breath. "Are you ready to hear about everything that's been going on here?" I nodded. "I don't even know where to begin."

"How about with Jacob?" I suggested.

She took a deep breath. "He left just after you did, as soon as he got his invitation to the wedding. He ran off and dropped contact with literally everyone. Bella was going crazy with worry. He decided to make his grand reappearance at the wedding."

"How did that go?" I asked, crossing my legs under myself.

"He nearly started a fight," she said. "Bella mentioned that she and Edward planned on having a real honeymoon and he nearly lost his mind about it, going on about how it wasn't safe for her."

I was quiet as I processed this—from experience, I knew exactly how much we had to hold back when we were intimate with humans. It wasn't an easy feat and it definitely wouldn't be easy in a situation where you loved the person as much as Edward loved Bella.

"The pack ended up diffusing the situation," she said. "They got Jacob away from the reception before he lost control and no one noticed what had happened apart from the other vampires in attendance who would've overheard."

"That's good at least," I murmured. "Is Bella okay now, though? I assume they're enjoying their honeymoon by now, right?"

"As of right now, yes, but that leads me to the next issue," she began. She took a deep breath. "There's a chance that Bella may…well, she may return from their trip…pregnant."

My eyes widened at Alice and I found myself at a loss for words. She let me process what she'd told me for as long as I needed, which ended up being exactly two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

"Is…is that even possible?!"

"I don't know," she admitted, rubbing at her forehead as if she had a migraine. "It all depends on what they decide to do."

"Can't you warn them?" I asked. "Warn them away from doing anything that would cause it?"

She shook her head. "They turned their phones off for the trip. I've only been getting flashes of what may happen so I didn't understand what it meant, but then today…I got a flash of her holding a positive pregnancy test."

"But that….that could kill her." It wasn't a question.

Alice nodded grimly. "I don't know what she'd decide to do if she does get pregnant…but I can't really see her terminating the pregnancy. I think…I think she may want to keep it."

It felt like my head was spinning. So many thoughts were running through my head all at once that I could barely focus on one.

"Keep it? Keep it?" I repeated. "Edward would allow that?"

"He would allow her to choose," she said. "He wouldn't agree with it—I know that for a fact—but he wouldn't force her into doing anything against her wishes."

"I guess the one bright side is that we have the greatest doctor in the world on our side," I muttered.

"Nat…there's something else."

"How can there be anything worse than that?!"

"The wolves."

It took me a full minute to understand what she meant. "What do you think they'll do?"

"No idea," she said, shaking her head grimly. "You…you may need to pick a side."

"A side?"

"They may want to go to war for this."

"So choosing between the vampires and the wolves," I said. She nodded. "Choosing between what I am and Paul?" Again, she nodded, making me exhale deeply. "We both know what my choice would be, Alice. How can I go against my kind?"

"We don't need to think about that just yet," she said. "One of two things will happen over the course of the next week: they'll either come home early because she's pregnant or they'll come home with Bella perfectly healthy and safe."

My mind was reeling. I knew they wouldn't be happy about this—there was already tension in the pack about Bella and Edward having a "normal" honeymoon, who could even guess how much more tension a baby would cause?

"I'm sorry to drag you into this," she said. "I just…I had to tell somebody and I figured you'd want to know given how involved you are with the wolves."

"I'm glad you told me," I said. "I'd rather be able to give myself time to prepare for the inevitable."

"It may tear the two of you apart," she warned.

"I know," I said. "But I can't go against what I am."

"If it turns out that she is pregnant, they'll be back in the next couple of days," she said, squeezing my shoulder.

"Then I should go see him and spend as much time with him as possible before they get back," I said, exhaling deeply.

"Good idea."

We said goodbye to each other and I left the Cullens' house, slowly walking back to La Push. I wanted to delay the inevitable moment that I'd have to face him.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't tell Paul about what Alice had told me, but how could I hide it from him? Since we'd first met, I'd known how scarily in tune he was with my feelings—he could always tell when something was wrong.

Plus after everything we'd just been through, I didn't want to lie to him about it. He was already slightly guarded with me as it was—lying to him about what was going on with Edward and Bella wouldn't help that situation in the slightest.

I arrived back at his apartment far too quickly and I felt nervousness edge into me. It felt like the building was looming over me. I hadn't had time to re-settle into his apartment and part of me felt like I wouldn't even get a chance to.

If Bella ended up pregnant, it would surely tear us apart. Regardless of how I felt about the situation, I needed to stand with my kind just as Paul needed to stand with his.

I took a deep breath and entered his apartment, ascending to his floor and preparing myself for what I knew would be an ugly conversation between us.