A chapter with a lot of laughter.

RON VI

He wasn't sure if he ever felt angrier in his life. Really, that was unfair. As they walked out of the dungeons and emerged in the Entrance Hall, Ron fought to not throw a tantrum. It was only after looking over his shoulder and making sure that Snape was in no way behind them that he exploded.

"Five points from Gryffindor because the potion was all right!"

Several people around turned to look at him. Parvati ran away in panic. Ron started to be fed up that she stayed away from him. Really, was it his fault if Trelawney thought people with red hair were a danger? This only added to his frustration that Snape once again punished them for no reason, after Hermione saved Neville's toad.

"Why didn't you lie, Hermione? You should've said Neville did it all by himself!"

This girl really exasperated him sometimes, with her obsession of following rules and obeying teachers, even when they were obviously in the wrong. And now she refused to answer his question. He turned to look at her, insults hanging on his lips, when he realized Hermione was nowhere close. Ron looked all around them. Harry had stopped and was doing the same.

"Where is she?" Ron asked, getting even more frustrated by Hermione's sudden absence. Where did she go? "She was right behind us."

His angry state didn't get better as Malfoy, with his right arm bandaged, walked next to them with Crabbe and Goyle, smirking at Harry and Ron. He forced them to do everything for him during the Potions class.

"There she is," Harry said, pointing the bottom of the stairs.

Indeed, there she was, clutching her bag. Ron ran down the stairs towards her.

"How did you do that?" he asked her.

"What?" She had reached them in the middle of the stairs.

"One minute you were right behind us, and the next moment, you were back at the bottom of the stairs again."

"What?" For a moment, she looked quite confused. "Oh. I had to go back for something..." Her bag tore apart at this moment, and a dozen books came crashing on the stairs. "Oh no!"

She got on her knees to recover her books.

"Why are you carrying all these around with you?" Ron asked.

"You know how many subjects I'm taking. Couldn't hold these for me, could you?"

Ron got on his knees to help her. Really, Hermione was impossible sometimes. Why on earth did she took all options? "But... you haven't got any of these subjects today." He just recognized the same book Harry used in Ancient Runes. "It's only Defence Against the Dark Arts this afternoon."

"Oh yes." She sounded distant, and only put back her books inside the bag, somewhat managing to hold it in a way everything could hold inside. "I hope there's something good for lunch, I'm starving."

Then she walked away towards the Great Hall, leaving both Ron and Harry behind. Really, this girl was even stranger than usual.

"Do you get the feeling Hermione is not telling us something?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged, probably to say he had no idea at all. The two went to the Great Hall and joined Hermione who was already swallowing sandwiches by the dozens. Harry sat on Hermione's right. Ron groaned as he saw that Lavender only left a very small space if he wanted to sit next to Harry. So he continued his way to sit on Hermione's left... only to bump against a portly girl from Hufflepuff.

"Oh, sorry Ron."

Ron nodded. He wasn't really in the mood for apologies. He just ignored the girl and sat heavily next to Hermione.

"Hey, Harry. Do you have an idea what Professor Lupin is going to teach us for our first class?" Hermione asked.

"No. I didn't even know he was supposed to be our professor until last Sunday. I really don't know what he planned for us, but it should be better than with Lockhart."

"It's not difficult to be better than him," Ron snorted.

"No, indeed," Hermione recognized.

Ron was glad that she finally recognized the flaws of her favourite author. Ron still hadn't decided who, between Quirrell and Lockhart, was the worst, but he was very tempted to say that it was Lockhart. Perhaps it was in part because Hermione worshipped him despite everything he did wrong, and especially because he ran away when the other teachers asked him to save Ginny. It was in Lockhart's best interests to not cross Ron's path one day, or else the coward would wish he only tasted Harry's broomstick like Malfoy did after he insulted Hermione, calling her a Mudblood.

Ron wished that was him who broke Malfoy's noise that day. He wouldn't have only broken his nose. He would have ruined Malfoy's entire face. The idiot would never have been able to laugh or smirk ever again.

In the meantime, Harry and Hermione had gone to discuss about Ancient Runes, a class they shared without Ron.

"What do you think of Professor Babbling?" Hermione asked. "I find her quite interesting. She really seems to know a lot of things, and not only about Ancient Runes."

"She seems like a good professor. Better than Professor Trelawney, from what you've been telling me," Harry replied. He leaned to see Ron. "Is it true she told Parvati to beware of you?"

"Yes, and ever since that, Parvati avoids me whenever she can."

Not that it entirely bothered Ron. After all, Parvati could be annoying sometimes, and Ron wasn't really friend with the girl. But it also bothered him that she obviously stayed away from him, changing places at the Gryffindor table or in classrooms just to get farther from him.

The girl was just a few places away from Ron, on the other side of the table, sitting face to face with Lavender. She seemed to have been looking at him because she averted her eyes right away and turned them to speak with Dean who sat next to her. Really, girls, sometimes...

"I guess she will come to her senses with time," Harry suggested.

"She should," Hermione said aloud. "Come on, Trelawney is just doing that to look impressive. Professor McGonagall told us. She always predicts the death of a student every year, and no one ever dies."

"So far," Ron said. "I guess this is what Parvati is thinking. Maybe she believes that finally it will happen."

"Why should it happen to Parvati? Who would like to kill her?"

Ron puffed some air. "I can already think about a few people." Parvati indeed got on the nerves of some people, both in Gryffindor and in other houses.

"In a long and painful way? Who really hates Parvati to this point?"

"Malfoy, maybe," Harry said. Ron and Hermione both looked at him. "It's just... something my mother told me during summer. Apparently, Parvati's mother is on the Hogwarts Board of Governors. And she's among the governors who pushed the most to expel Lucius Malfoy from their ranks."

Ron looked at Malfoy, who seemed to be laughing about some ridiculous joke with his gang at the Slytherin table.

"Do you think he could try to harm Parvati?" Ron asked. "After all, it's true that Malfoy has been mean with her quite often, but he's like that with everybody."

"Malfoy is just a bully," Hermione declared. "He likes to intimidate, and he likes to see other people get hurt or killed, but he's not a murderer himself. He doesn't have what it takes for that."

"He called you a Mudblood last year," Ron retorted.

"And the next moment he was wailing on the ground with a broken nose while his teammates did all the fight. Malfoy is a coward, Ron. As hateful and unpleasant he might be, he's just a kid who loves to brag, and who hides behind his mother's skirts or his father's cloak the moment he gets into trouble."

Ron couldn't disagree with her on that. He always viewed Malfoy as a pampered child, and it was who he was. "Okay, but what about Lucius Malfoy?"

"He's no longer governor. He has no power within Hogwarts anymore."

"Perhaps, but he still has money and influence. And friends within the Ministry of Magic. You know what Hagrid is going through right now. What's telling us that Lucius Malfoy wouldn't try anything on Parvati?"

"I think it is unlikely." She dropped her utensils in her empty plate. "Look, Ron. Parvati is like that only because Professor Trelawney told her she saw a Basilisk in her tea leaves. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if she predicted that Parvati would instead live a long life and marry a famous and rich wizard, which is just as likely to happen."

"But this is not what Trelawney predicted. She saw a Basilisk in her tea cup."

"So she said. From what I've been able to see, Divination is even less precise than weather forecasts."

"Weather what?" Ron asked. Why did Hermione always use words only she didn't understand?

"Weather forecasts. In the Muggle world, people watch the television to know what the weather tomorrow will be, or next week, or even next month. But they're often wrong, maybe half the time. From what I can judge, Divination is even less accurate."

"We don't know. I mean, the events that Trelawney predicted have not come to happen yet."

"So, if I understand correctly, Divination is proved accurate if the events it predicts somewhat happens. But if they don't, we cannot tell it is wrong because those events might not have happened yet."

"It's not with those arguments that you're going to reassure Parvati," Ron said.

They argued about Divination during the whole lunch. Harry finally reminded them that they should head for their first class in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Many people were already there when they arrived. Hermione went to sit next to that girl with red hair who ran into Ron earlier, like she always did when they had common classes with Hufflepuff. Harry and Ron took another table next to theirs. Again, Ron shouldn't have been surprised, but he heard the characteristic sound of a grating chair as someone stood up behind them. Parvati once again was changing places. In this very moment, he wanted to tell her the very same things Hermione always said about Professor Trelawney.

"Why does she think I'm a threat to her?" Ron asked. "I mean, I'm not the only one with red hair at Hogwarts. And between Percy who could drown her under detentions, or Fred and George with some of their jokes..."

"Is it limited to boys or did Professor Trelawney also include girls in her prediction?" Harry asked.

On that, Ron tried to remember what she said. "I'm not sure. She told Parvati to beware someone with red hair, but... Yes, you're right, Harry. It could be a girl."

"Then we must include Ginny, Susan, and many other people. And if we are to add people outside Hogwarts, then the list of people Parvati must be careful around is going to get very long. I wonder how she's going to explain to her parents that they must move because my mother has red hair and we live in the same tower."

Ron laughed. He had to admit that it would be pleasant to see Parvati running away from other people with red hair. He could already imagine Fred and George setting a trap where Ron with all his brothers and Ginny would surround Parvati. The only difficulty would be to convince Percy to join their little conspiracy.

Professor Lupin arrived a few minutes after the bell rang. His clothes were just as worn out as before, but he was smiling at them as he took place at the front of the classroom. Ron had to remind himself to not judge him on his appearance. This was the same man who caught Pettigrew in Egypt, and who threw away the Dementor on the Hogwarts Express.

"Good afternoon," he told them all. "Would you please put all your books back in your bags. Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your wands."

Ron exchanged a look with Harry, but his friend looked as clueless as Ron was. Ron wondered what kind of practical lesson they could have. Still, he put back everything he had in his bag, like everyone else in the classroom, and they followed the professor outside. When Ron asked Harry what they were about to do, while walking through corridors, Harry replied, on an exasperated tone, that he had no idea. There was no need to sound exasperated. Harry knew their new professor, unlike any of them.

On their way, they came across Peeves who tried to stuff a chewing gum into the keyhole of a broom cupboard. Peeves laughed at Professor Lupin, something Ron never saw him do with any other teacher. After he refused to remove the chewing gum at Lupin's request, their professor cast a spell that shot the chewing gum right into Peeves' nostrils.

"Well, he seems to know what he's doing," Ron commented to Harry.

"I agree," Hermione approved behind them. "Perhaps we really got a good teacher this time."

"Better than Lockhart, that's for sure," Ron added on purpose.

"I agree," another voice said behind. When Ron turned to see from who it came from, he saw that it was Hannah Abbott, the girl from Hufflepuff with blond hair who somehow ended up in their compartment when the Dementor came. She turned towards her friend. "Sorry, Susan, but Professor Lockhart was a disaster."

The shy Hufflepuff with who Ron collided during lunch nodded, but didn't say a word.

They arrived at the staff room, whose door Professor Lupin opened for them, and they all got inside, intrigued. Ron began to feel excited after seeing what Lupin could do only with a chewing gum, and to Peeves on top of that. However, the person who was waiting for them inside crushed a large part of his excitement. Snape was there, sitting in a large armchair, and he looked at all of them in a mocking way as they filled the room. After the two last Hufflepuffs walked into the room, Lupin made to close the door.

"Leave it open, Lupin. I would rather not witness this." He stood up and made his way through them, all students stepping aside to let him pass. He stopped next to Lupin. "Possibly no one has warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."

Ron clasps his hands into fists. He wanted to remove that smug smile from Snape's face. He was just a Malfoy dressed as a teacher, but worse.

"I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation, and I am sure he will perform it admirably."

Lupin's words surprised Ron. He looked at Neville, whose face had turned a shade of red Ron thought he only saw on Ginny before, when she found herself in a very embarrassing situation in Harry's presence.

Snape closed the door loudly behind him. Their new professor led them to the end of the staff room, in front of an old wardrobe.

"Now then," the teacher said as he stood next to the wardrobe. The moment he approached, it moved, pounding loudly against the wall. The whole class jumped behind. "Nothing to worry about. There's a Boggart in there." It did nothing to reassure Ron, and he didn't feel like it reassured anyone in any way. "Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces. Wardrobes, the gap beneath beds, the cupboards under sinks. I once met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the Headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third-years some practice. So, the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a Boggart?"

Indeed, that was a very good question. Perhaps he should have started with that instead of giving them details about where these things lived. And of course, it was Hermione who answered.

"It's a shape-shifter. It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most."

"I couldn't have put it better myself," Lupin complimented her with a smile. Hermione was blushing. Ron wanted to laugh, but he retained himself. After all, it was thanks to Hermione that he managed to do all his homeworks. And she looked kind of cute when she blushed.

"So the Boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form," Lupin continued. "He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a Boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears. This means, that we have a huge advantage over the Boggart before we begin. Can someone tell me?"

Hermione shot her hand in the air right away. The professor smiled but kindly replied. "Thank you, Hermione, but I think I will let someone else answer. So has anyone an idea?"

Ron heard whispers behind him. He turned to see Hannah raise her hand.

"Hannah?" the professor asked.

"Well... I guess that... since we are about twenty people... the Boggart will not know which appearance to take... He will not know who to scare."

"Exactly! It's always best to have company when you're dealing with a Boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become? A headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a Boggart make that very mistake. It tried to frighten two people at once and turned into half a slug. Not remotely frightening."

It would certainly not be frightening but disgusting for sure. Ron wondered, if he and Harry faced a Boggart, what appearance would it take to scare them both. Ron knew very well what his greatest fear was. Spiders. Ever since Fred turned his teddy bear into a spider, this was his greatest fear, whatever the size of the spider, even the smallest one. As for Harry, Ron had a very good idea what, or rather who his greatest fear would be. And Ron wasn't eager to see a crossing between You-Know-Who and a spider.

"After me, please. Riddikulus!"

Ron got out of his daydream, and repeated what the others were saying.

"RIDDIKULUS!"

"Good," their professor said. "Very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough. And this is where you come in, Neville."

Lupin made a sign for Neville to approach, which he did reluctantly. Ron didn't think it was a good idea. Neville was already traumatized by the morning's events, as he almost lost his toad. As someone who had a rat for a companion for years, Ron sympathized with Neville's attachment to Trevor. He would not wish for any companion, as boring as it was, to be poisoned, especially not by Snape.

"Right, Neville," the professor said. "First things first. What would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?"

Neville had to make several attempts before he could say it. "Professor Snape."

Even Ron couldn't hold back a laugh. Harry did as well. Only Hermione remained passive.

"Professor Snape. Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?" Lupin asked him.

"Yes. But... I don't want the Boggart to turn into her either."

New laughs. But Professor Lupin didn't laugh at all. Instead, he had Neville listing his grandmother's clothes, then told them he would open the wardrobe and that Neville would cast the spell.

"If all goes well, Professor Boggart Snape will be forced into that vulture-topped hat, that green dress, and that big red handbag." Everyone burst into loud laughter then, even Hermione. "If Neville is successful, the Boggart will likely turn his attention to each of us in turn. I would like all of you to take a moment now to think of the thing that scares you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical."

Ron closed his eyes. How to make a spider look funny. He didn't really see first, but then... One of the things that frightened him the most about spiders was their hairy legs. If he removed them...

"Take its legs off," he muttered to himself. Yes, that was it. The spider would go rolling on the ground, like a barrel. He didn't see how such a thing could be horrifying.

"Everyone ready?" Ron opened his eyes at the professor's questions. Yes, he was ready. Well, he thought he was. "Neville, we're going to back away. Let you have a clear field, all right?"

Everyone stepped back against the wall, leaving Neville all alone. Ron almost had pity of him. Lupin definitely should have taken someone else. Perhaps he should have chosen Hermione. What her greatest fear would be? Failing her exams?

Professor Lupin pointed his wand at the wardrobe, counted to three, and the wardrobe opened quietly. Ron would never have believed that this could be someone else than Snape. It was exactly the same person, with yellow teeth, greasy black hair, dark eyes, hooked nose.

He moved towards Neville, menacing. Neville had his wand raised, but he didn't say a word. Come on, Neville! It's just Snape! It's not even really him, Ron thought to himself as Snape was only a few feet away from Neville.

"Riddikulus!" he stammered finally.

The next moment, Ron was laughing hard with the rest of the classroom at the sight of Snape wearing what was clearly grandmother's clothing, with a big red satchel. This was definitely not a sight he was going to forget.

"Parvati! Forward!" Lupin shouted.

Ron wasn't sure if it was a good idea either. Parvati panicked at the smallest noise these days, ever since Professor Trelawney predicted her death. And indeed, Parvati timidly walked forward as Neville joined the rest of the class against the wall.

Snape vanished and was replaced by a tall mummy. Its bandages were stained with blood, and it walked threateningly towards Parvati. The girl raised her wand, shaking. The mummy kept coming, and she made a few steps forward. Then a few other steps. And few more.

"Oh, come on, Parvati! Do something!" Hermione shouted.

"Riddikulus!" came out as a cry.

The mummy found itself wrapped in shawls of various colors, and Ron instantly recognized them. These were the same shawls Trelawney wore. The mummy stumbled in the shawls and fell head first. The head in question detached itself and rolled on their right, towards the end of the line they had created along the walls. A scream came from this side, and Ron just had enough time to notice that Susan Bones had stood away from the wall. She probably hoped to get away from the rolling head, but if that was the case, she was mistaking, for it rolled right into her.

The body of the mummy disappeared, and instead, right where its head had been, a tall and huge human form stood, wearing a dark cape and a hood. Ron couldn't see its face. It moved towards Susan, who raised her wand. The hooded figure made a few more steps.

"Riddikulus!"

The moment the figure raised a hand, it turned into something rectangular, with a bald head shaking in all senses while playing music. Susan laughed, and Ron smiled a little, though he wondered what the cloak had been hiding.

"Justin, you're next!" Lupin shouted above the music that was playing.

Justin Finch-Fletchley took Susan's place, and the moment he stood in front of the Boggart, it turned into a huge snake. It remined Ron of last year, when a snake created by Malfoy rushed on Justin, before Justin was Petrified. No wonder he was afraid of snakes after that.

"Riddikulus!"

The snake was turned into something Ron never saw before. It had the shape of a ring, was colored in red and yellow, and although what it displayed looked like a snake, it was definitely not one. Harry and Hermione laughed hard behind him.

"What's that?" Ron asked them.

"It's a buoy," Hermione explained. "Children play with that in pools in the Muggle world."

Ron remembered at this moment that Justin's parents were Muggles. That could explain why he turned the snake into this. Lupin called Seamus. The Boggart became a banshee.

"Riddikulus!"

The Boggart lost its voice. Then it was Ernie's turn.

They saw nothing. They saw nothing because everything went black in the room. Ron didn't understand what just happened, but it didn't remain like that for long.

"Riddikulus!"

Ernie Macmillan's voice broke through the darkness. All of a sudden, rays of light appeared from everywhere, and a strange rhythmed song began to sound everywhere.

"Good thinking, Ernie! Now, Dean!"

Their black friend stepped forward. Light came back to the room, and a severed hand appeared on the floor, blood leaking on the floor behind as it advanced towards Dean.

"Riddikulus!"

The severed hand was stuck into a mousetrap. And then the Boggart turned into a rat... Then a small snake... Then a man with strange makeup on his face, a red round nose and multicolored hair.

All students burst into laughs at the sight, and the Boggart turned into a blood eye lying on the floor.

"It's confused!" Lupin told them. "We're almost done. Ron, step forward."

Ron steeled himself. He knew what he had to do. He knew what he needed to turn it into. Still, when the Boggart changed into a giant spider, its pincers clicking, Ron couldn't prevent a cry from escaping his mouth, and others behind screamed as well. Still, Ron pointed his wand, and thinking very strong about the legs...

"Riddikulus!"

The legs vanished. The spider rolled on the floor, and it went to stop right in front of Hannah.

The strangest sight Ron ever witnessed appeared in front of the blond-haired girl. It was a man, or so Ron thought. He was entirely clad in black, with a cloak hanging from his shoulder, and a huge helmet on his face. It produced a dark gloved hand, with a metallic cylinder in it. Then a red gleaming rod came out of the cylinder with a strange noise. And finally, a deep breathing came out of the helmet. Hannah raised her wand.

"Riddikulus!"

The red rod bent and went around the man's face, and he began to stumble all around, trying to remove the red rod as the class laughed at his futile attempts.

"Harry, let's go! It's your turn!"

Hannah had spoken before Lupin did, and Harry stepped forward, wand ready.

"Here!" Professor Lupin shouted, hurrying forward to the Boggart.

It disappeared. For a moment, no one saw anything. Then Ron noticed a silvery white orb in the air. A small cry came from behind, and Ron turned his head to see that Susan Bones had placed a hand over her mouth, and she was looking at the globe in terror. Why was she afraid of a silver globe?

"Riddikulus!"

The glove turned into a punctured balloon that wandered through the classroom.

"Forward, Neville! Finish him off!" the professor shouted.

Neville obeyed, and Snape reappeared. This time, however, Neville walked forward decisively and didn't hesitate.

"Riddikulus!"

Snape was back to wearing Neville's grandmother's clothes. Everyone, including Neville, burst into laughter, and the Boggart exploded into a multitude of glowing fragments.

Ron joined all the others as they broke into applause.

"Excellent! Excellent!" Lupin was shouting. "Well done, everyone. Let me see... five points for every person who tackled the Boggart. Ten points for Neville who did it twice. And five points to Hermione, and another five points to Hannah for correctly answering my questions. It was an excellent lesson, everyone. For homework, kindly read the chapter on Boggarts and summarize it for me. To be handled on Monday. That will be all."

Ron was excited, just like everyone else, as they left the staff room. They never had, in living memory, such a fun class.

"You've seen what Neville did to that Boggart Snape? I never saw him so confident!" Hermione said.

"Did you see me take that banshee?" Seamus shouted.

"And the hand!" Dean added.

"And me with the serpent!" Justin, almost jumping.

"And I turned darkness into a party!" Ernie exclaimed.

"That was the best Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson we've ever had, wasn't it?" Ron exulted. "You've seen me with that spider?"

"Yes, Ron. You were brilliant," Hermione said. She couldn't have made him happier, even though she looked less cheerful than everyone else. "He seems like a very good teacher. But I wish I could have had a turn with the Boggart."

"What would it have been for you?" Ron asked. "A piece of homework that only got nine out of ten?"

Ron didn't care for her frown. Remus Lupin just turned a day that started so miserably into a wonderful week.

More people got to face their fear than in canon this time.

Please review.

Next chapter: Harry