Harry woke up to the sounds of the birds chirping. It was so idyllic that he paused and took in the sight of the sun through his window. As he blinked the sleepiness away, two things caught his attention. There was a mug full of steaming hot chocolate on his nightstand and his bird had created a nest on a shelf near his window. The nest seemed to be made mostly of string and Harry had to wonder where they came from.

Harry ignored the hot chocolate to focus on getting ready for the day. He washed himself and dressed. Getting dressed for the day required more thinking than normal on account of his new clothing. There were a variety of trousers and shirts meant to be worn with vests and wizarding robes. Cosme looked like he belonged in robes, but even the short ones felt weird to him. He opted for simple trousers and a simple button-down. Harry couldn't help but think that all of the buttons as a bit tedious.

Once his morning routine was done and Harry was dressed, he sat down in the huge chair in the corner. He sipped his hot chocolate and stared at his bird who was staring at Harry just as attentively, "I really should give you a name. How about…something bird-themed like robin? No. Wren? Jay? No, not bird-themed. Hmm…. wood themed like Ash? Maple? Oliver? Linden? Oh! You like that one." The bird had let out a flurry of musical chirps which Harry chose to take as a positive sign, "Linden, it is then. I suppose that is a really good name. You are made from Linden wood and I don't know what kind of bird that you are."

The entire time that he spoke to his bird, he was taking sips of his warm beverage. Naming done and hot chocolate gone, Harry decided to go eat breakfast. Cosme said that he wasn't allowed to whittle before he had eaten breakfast. Harry put on his new shoes as he left his room and went downstairs. He hesitated at the doorway, unsure where it would lead him since Cosme hadn't taught him how to use the doorway yet. He decided to step through and figure it out later. Luckily, the doorway led him straight to the kitchen. Sitting on the table was hot fresh food. Surely, Cosme hadn't known exactly when he was going to go downstairs. Harry had to wonder if it was magic.

The breakfast was similar to the food from yesterday so Harry put the same condiments. The food was just as good as yesterday's, but Harry felt that it wasn't as nice without anyone there to eat with him. He was glad that he was in such a nice home, but it seemed to echo uncomfortably. Every step and action that Harry took was uncertain.

Harry felt that today was the day! He was going to finish his cat today. It was small so the rest of the details shouldn't take too long. However, the tricky part would be holding his intentions in his mind. Harry was making the cat with the intention of it being a companion and he can't let go of that idea, without ruining his experiment. He went to his whittling room and pulled out the block for his cat. He sat down on his chair and thought about which knife he would have to use. They were still on the desktop so Harry didn't have to look for them. He looked at them and he was pretty sure that he had sharpened them before stopping last time. He grabbed the smaller knife and put it against the top of the cat's head. He was shaping the cat's ears last time. He already created a divot where the ears were supposed to be, but today he would have to deepen it further. He put his thumb on the back of the blade and cut deeply in one direction for the ear and then cut from the opposite direction. He did this a couple of times to make sure that the ears were prominent enough. The ears were now visible so Harry moved to smooth them out. The cat needed to be soft and smooth for Harry to pet him. He wondered if the cat would like to be petted and after some thought he nodded. Miss Fig's cats loved to be pet, especially behind the ears. And he of all people knew what Miss Fig's cats liked, he had spent hours with them when the Dursleys wanted Harry out of the way.

The ears had little divots for it to hear so Harry held the knife and used the tip of the blade to draw marks where the ears were supposed to go inward. Chipping it away was difficult to do without touching the rest of the ears and he mostly used the tip of the knife to make such pointed cuts. He paused and inspected the ears. Satisfied, he put the block down and re-sharpened his knives. There was enough polish on the strop that Harry didn't bother re-applying any. Harry remembered seeing a chisel being used to cut out bigger details and Harry briefly wondered if it would make his job easier to have one. It definitely would have made it easier to cut away the larger chunks so he could focus on the smaller details. He dismissed the thought and grabbed the smaller knife to shape out the tail, it wouldn't do to linger on what he didn't have. He would alternate between cutting away from him and then continuing the cut towards him. Harry found out that it was easier sometimes to use his opposite thumb to support the back of the knife when making deeper cuts.

Harry finished the tail and then moved to the paws. They were close to the tail and it would be easy to continue the detailing in that direction. To create the paws, he had to cut away the wood surrounding them and then little lines for the individual toes. Harry was thinking about what a cat looked like and what additional details to add. He had only really seen Miss Fig's cats and she had many. They were all pretty fluffy but one cat stood out to Harry. It had shorter fur so you could see the sleek body of the cat. Harry wanted his cat to be like that. Smooth and sleek with soft fur and little ears.

Harry was cutting little lines around the nose to shape it. He finished and then put the cat on the table. It was done. The cat figurine was tiny, but a cat the size of Harry's hand. If the cat stretched out fully then it would likely reach from Harry's fingertips to a bit past his wrist. He smiled and then looked to see what would happen. Within seconds of Harry thinking that the cat was done, the cat lifted its head and shook out its body. As if shaking water from its body, the excess wood shook itself off and the cat's fur seemed to bristle before resting smoothly on its body. The details became clear to see. There were whiskers and little hairs that peaked from inside the ears. There were small toes and even smaller claws that could be seen on the toes of the cat. The cat looked around and then mewed at Harry. Harry thought he was going to die or maybe even cry from how cute his tiny cat was.

"Hi…I'm Harry." The cat tilted its head and then took a couple of steps to the edge of the desk. Harry held out his hand for it to walk onto his palm. "Wow, you're beautiful!"

The cat's nose twitched and it rubbed its body across Harry's palm. Harry was in awe. The cat was soft! Far softer than a wood would normally be. He gently petted the back of the cat and sure enough the cat liked to be petted on the back of its ears. With excitement, Harry put the cat back on the desk and pulled out his notebook. He looked around and then realized that he didn't have anything to write. He then saw the time on the clock. It was late enough in the day that they should probably eat lunch. He wiped the shavings into the trash can and put his knives back in their place. He should probably sharpen them now, but he figured it wasn't a big deal.

Harry turned to his cat which was sitting down and staring at him clean. "I am going to make lunch. Do you want to come with me?"

The cat mewed so Harry grabbed it and put it in his vest pocket. The cat purred which caused Harry to falter in his steps. The cat was more realistic than he had thought it would be. He was leaving his room to go downstairs when he heard his bird.

Chirp! Chirp!

It then took flight and landed on his shoulder. Harry smiled.

"We're just going downstairs to the kitchen. It will probably be boring." Neither made any sign that they wanted to leave.

Harry went downstairs and to the kitchen. He put his cat on the table for it to explore while Harry opened each cabinet looking for ingredients. Harry was making lunch and he occasionally peaked at the cat. Linden was content to just sit on his shoulder and occasionally pull at his hair. Once lunch was done, Harry decided that he should get Cosme.

Earlier that morning

Cosme hesitated, but he flipped the sign from 'Closed' to 'Open'. Harry and Cosme had an emotionally draining afternoon yesterday and he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to open up his shop. The talk last night needed to happen, but Cosme wasn't sure if should have planned it for a weekend so he could be freely available for Harry after it. It was a bit too late to change it, so he figured that he would just have to make do with the situation at hand. He called his house elf, Milly, and asked for her to make Harry a cup of hot chocolate for Harry for him to enjoy right away. Normally, he wouldn't give him such a sweet drink so early in the morning, but he hoped the chocolate would help him start the day.

The wand shop had been closed for two days. Most of the year, this wouldn't have been significant, but it was right before Beauxbaton started their school year. This was Cosme's favorite time of the year. All of the young witches and wizards seeking out their first wand was a sight that reminded him why he chose to pursue wand-making. Unfortunately, since Cosme was the only wand-maker in France he was incredibly busy this time of the year. Every young child in France, and many outside of France, came to him for their wands.

As if reminding Cosme of his importance, the first hour that his shop was open there were five wizards and witches there for their first wand. It was French tradition to get their wands at Baguettes Magiques de Cosme Acajor and their books at Magillard: Plumes et Tome. They would then get some sweets from Confiserie Enchantée de K. Rammelle. Then continue with the rest of their school supplies like their robes, familiars, and quidditch supplies. They couldn't exactly do that if the wand shop is closed.

When it was nearing lunch, the sixth witch of the day showed up in the shop. She was young and seemed to be muggle-raised. Muggle-raised witches were usually in more awe than their wizard-raised peers. Her eyes darted rapidly between everything in the shop as if she were afraid that it would disappear. When her eyes finally rested Cosme tried to give a reassuring smile. He would let her stare and then talk only when she seemed satisfied.

"Bonjour monsieur!" she nearly shouted the words at Cosme and then blushed immediately as if embarrassed by how loud she was.

Looking at her, Cosme noticed a few details that might give him hints as to what wand she should have. She had a bag bulging with books, but what caught his attention was the fact that many were about wizarding history, less common with young witches. He also thought that it was interesting that she was alone, but he did see that two adults were waiting outside. Taking note of those details, he turned to grab a few wands from the shelf closest to the right. He was sure that a vine wand would favor her, but the core was more uncertain.

The girl shifted from foot to foot, nervous when he had yet to say anything. He grabbed wands with Wampus hair, Veela hair, unicorn hair, and with some hesitation one with a thunderbird feather. He brought the four boxes to the counter and debated which one to give her first when the wand with the thunderbird shot right out of the box and at the girl. She miraculously caught it and then a shower of sparks shot out of the wand. Her reflexes were quite impressive, but unfortunately, the shock caught up to her and she dropped the wand.

Cosme let out a chuckle, now that was a rare event. Vine wands could be quite sensitive to finding new owners and this one lay its claim on the girl rather quickly.

"Whoa, what was that?"

The question took both Cosme and the girl by surprise and they both turned to the back of the shop where Harry was watching surprised. Cosme noted that Harry was wearing some of his new clothes so he looked like a particularly respectable young wizard, though Harry's glasses did not go with the rest of the outfit. Hmm…something for Cosme to take care of later. Cosme was distracted from his thoughts when he saw the head of a small kitten peak out of Harry's vest pocket and then to further his surprise, Harry's wooden bird chirped from his shoulder. Cosme wasn't sure what was more surprising.

Focusing on the moment, Cosme answered his question, "Ah, that was a particularly strong match between this young miss and this wand. I prefer to use vine wood because it is very sensitive at detecting a good match and occasionally, the wand does all of the work for me." Cosme decided that this didn't count as teaching wand-making since it was just a tiny tidbit.

The girl kneeled to pick up her new wand and then bowed a bit to Harry, "Bonjour, I am Juliette Gauthier." She thought the boy looked rather young and it wouldn't do to be impolite on a first encounter. She was very nervous at meeting the first wizard near her age especially one that dressed the part. He looked incredibly magical, especially with a wooden bird resting on his shoulder.

She spoke with an accent, but it did not impede Harry's understanding. "Uh…bonjour, I am Harry Potter. It is nice to meet you." Harry fumbled over the word 'bonjour', and when he saw both Juliette and Cosme smile at him, he thought that he messed it up.

The girl did not react to Harry's name so Cosme knew that he was right. The girl was muggle-raised and didn't know who he was nor did she act too surprised to see a wooden bird on his shoulder.

Cosme watched their interaction but continued to wrap the box in thin tissue paper and put it into a decorative purple bag that had his shop name on the side. He pushed the bag into the girl's reach.

Since they all seemed to know English, Cosme continued with it, "Here, that wand has chosen you so this is a bag for your new wand if you wish. I also sell wand holsters, if you're interested."

He pulled out a tray of wand holsters and both children leaned in to see them more clearly. It had a small strap and a small sheath for the wand. The holsters were a mix of red, green, pearly white, black, and brown.

"What are they made from?" Juliette was the one to voice the question. She was quite surprised to see the boy look to Cosme for an answer. Surely if he lived with a wand-maker then he would know this already.

"They are made from dragons so very sturdy and resistant to spell damage."

Both children gasped and looked at the wand holsters more closely. These were made from dragons and so were the closest the kids had gotten to the mythical creature. Harry didn't think they looked too different from other leathers that he had seen.

Cosme smiled at their innocent reactions. This was why he loved giving them their first wands.

"I would like this one." Juliette pointed to the pearly white holster.

Cosme added it to the bag and gave it to the girl. She pulled out her money and paid him. She pocketed whatever remained and smiled at the boy. If she wanted to make friends, then she needed to reach out, but she didn't know how.

Cosme saw her hesitation and looked to Harry to gauge his reaction.

"Ah Harry is also new to the magical world and I think it would be nice to meet more people close to his age who have similar experiences. If this isn't too much of an inconvenience, would it be okay for him to send letters to you? I haven't decided if he will go to Beauxbaton so maybe this would help."

The girl was relieved that it was taken out of her hands, "Ah bon? Je n'y crois pas! What a great idea, I would love that and it would be no inconvenience. Though, if it isn't too rude, may I ask how old are you?" She would befriend the boy either way, but he seemed to be seven years old. Though she did always want a younger brother.

Harry blushed, people always thought that he was younger than he was.

"I am nine. You're eleven, right? I think Cosme said that was the age that you start magic school."

Harry looked to Cosme for confirmation so he missed the look of surprise on the girl's face. Cosme nodded, but he was looking at the girl to see her reaction.

"Oui, I am eleven." She nervously looked to her parents who were waiting patiently, "I will look forward to your letter. I want to get an owl but just in case I do not, can you send your letter first?"

Harry was nervous at the idea of sending someone a letter but nodded. The girl saw his confirmation and then ran out of the store with a wave. Harry Potter just made his first potential friend. He smiled and Cosme could no longer resist hugging the boy.

Harry accepted the hug with grace a sprinkle of awkwardness, "That was a bit awkward."

Cosme laughed, "Oui, a bit. Are you ready for lunch? Is that why you are here?"

Harry smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I wasn't sure if you had anything planned, but I made some food. I hope that's okay?"

Cosme put up a sign for his lunch break and they both walked to the kitchen. "You cooked? Merci, you did not need to though. I see that you completed your cat."

They sat at the table and Harry put the cat on the table for Cosme to inspect. Cosme was slowly getting used to the constant surprises that the boy seemed to have so he didn't react too dramatically to the softness of the cat's fur. The cat rubbed its face against his fingers and let out a purr.

Cosme stopped petting the cat and it moved to rest on Harry's napkin which fortunately had a ray of sun for the cat to bask in.

"You have been busy this morning."

Harry nodded, "I finished my cat and I named my bird. He didn't like most of my suggestions, but we agreed on Linden." Linden chirped in agreement.

"Ah, how fitting. Do you have any ideas for the cat's name?"

Harry blushed and picked at his food with his fork. He did have an idea. He remembered when he was younger, Dudley watched a movie about talking cats and his cat reminded him of one of them.

"I was thinking maybe Duchess?" Harry directed the question to Cosme, but also to the cat. The cat was lying down on the napkin and its tail was flicking lazily. Harry couldn't tell if that was approval or just indifference.

"She is regal enough for Duchess and it seems like she doesn't mind it."

The two were nearly done eating when there was a tap tap on the window. Cosme let the owl in and untied the letter from its leg. It was from Jimmy. Cosme opened the letter and read it while Harry watched curiously.

"If you do not have any protests, it seems that you will have plans for after lunch. Jimmy wants to teach you about the magical world. It seems that he thinks that since he is a muggle-born, he is the best to teach you…well he is probably not wrong."

"Right now?"

"You have about half an hour before he gets here."

Harry hesitated, learning more would be nice, but depending on how long the lesson is, Harry wouldn't get a chance to whittle more. Harry ended up agreeing because he was confused about a lot of things. Like what was a muggleborn and what did it mean that it would make Jimmy better at teaching him?

"Excellent, so before he gets here. What else were you planning on whittling today? Anymore wands?"

"Before you three showed up in my backyard, I was trying to figure out my whittling. I was trying to figure out how specific my intentions have to be and how detailed I need to be. I think I should figure those two out before I work on my wands."

Cosme was impressed by the strategic thoughts that guided his whittling, though he was disappointed that the boy wouldn't skip straight to wand-making. He wouldn't admit it but he was feeling a bit impatient.

"And which one is Duchess?"

"I made her while focusing on a cat who would want to sit with me and like to get scratched behind the ears. I thought about what cats behave like and the cats that I have seen. The next one will be made while just thinking of cats. Orange cats, black cats, white cats. Just cats, not even what cats like to do."

Cosme was going to ask a question when he felt the wards admit Jimmy. Time for lessons.

Jimmy had woken up and made sure to send off the letter to Cosme asking to teach the boy with a small outline of what he would teach. With him, he had a more detailed outline and the books that he thought would be useful. Whether it was acknowledged or not, the wizarding world was a new culture and there would be an adjustment period. There were some things that Jimmy felt like he needed to teach Harry before school. Things like greetings, clothing, wizard-specific words, and food etiquette. They would be the things that would make him stick out if he didn't learn. Clothes would mostly be taken care of by Cosme, but Jimmy wanted to make sure that Harry understood why they were different. Also, Cosme was a bit extra so Harry should know which things were a Cosme requirement and which were a societal requirement.

Jimmy had the lessons in hand and was walking into the wand shop, ignoring the closed sign. He was met halfway into the shop by Cosme. "He agreed, right?"

"Yes, though I think he was a bit disappointed that he could not keep whittling for the rest of the day."

"Oh, did he finish anything today?"

Cosme smiled, there were some perks to being the one to house Harry, "Yes, I will not tell you anything more. That is for you to find out."

Cosme was led to the back of the shop and back through the doorway to a courtyard.

"Whoa! How long have you been hiding this Cosme? It's beautiful."

Cosme just smiled at his awe and led him to a table where Harry was already sitting. The boy was staring at the ceiling of leaves created by all of the trees being so close together. Harry thought it was cool how close the leaves got to each other, but somehow still didn't overlap or touch each other.

"Hey, Harry. Good day?"

"The best! Meet Duchess and Linden." The cat was in Harry's lap and Jimmy wasn't sure how he didn't notice it. The bird just chirped from a branch up above.

"Amazing! Linden? After the wood?"

"Yep! Basswood is a type of linden wood." Jimmy mentally noted that as a fun fact.

"Very cool. So I am not sure if Cosme told you, but I want to teach you more about the magical world. I am a muggleborn which means that both of my parents had no magic so I know what it is like to be raised with muggles, or no-maj. No-maj is the American way of saying muggle. I am also American so I had a lot to learn about moving to Britain."

"Why did you move to Britain if you are from America?" Harry had to wonder why Jimmy moved so far from his home.

"Well, because I wanted to be a wand-maker and there are already four wand-makers over there. If I stayed then I was guaranteed to have to go out of business. But what I wasn't expecting was the huge amount of differences between the two places. I had to just mess up and figure it out myself so I figured I am the best to tell you the differences. Maybe when the embarrassment wears off, I'll tell you the story about how I insulted a dozen people at the same time by being 'overly friendly'. If it wasn't for Cosme, I'm not sure how I would have gotten out of that situation."

Harry wanted to ask about that story, but decided that he probably wasn't going to get an answer, "What kind of differences?"

"Sheesh going straight for the hard questions. Uh, some of the differences are clothes, etiquette, and kinda the language. Here in Europe, they are way stuffier about rules and etiquette. I think a large part of it is that there are still Nobles and Lords."

"Do magical people have different nobles than the muggles?"

"Yes, completely different. Actually, I'd have to ask Cosme but I think the Potters are a Noble family."

"What! I am a noble? How could I be a noble?"

"And that's exactly why I am going to try to teach you about all of these cultural differences because I don't want you to get caught off-guard. Though you'll have to ask Cosme about the specifics of the nobility nonsense because I know he is the head of the Acajor family or something like that. Wait! You're getting me off track. I just want to cover the basics none of this extra nonsense." Jimmy looked around at the thought of Cosme and wondered when he sneaked off.

"So what are the basics?"

"First, money! How can you pay for something if you don't know what the money means."

At this, Jimmy pulled out a handful of different colored coins.

"So the first thing to know is that all wizards lack any sense around money and nothing makes sense."

Harry looked a bit skeptical about Jimmy's words so Jimmy continued, "I wish I was joking, but I am serious. I am going to teach you about British money since I am sure that Cosme will have you covered while you're here in France. Though fun fact, the French magical currency is called a bezant and I know absolutely nothing else about them. Now, there are three coins for British magical money: the galleon, sickle, and knut."

In Jimmy's hand, there were three coins; one gold, silver, and bronze. Which Harry thought looked rather pretty. Jimmy let Harry hold them in his hand and look at them closer.

"Yep, pretty cool looking, right? We'll have to take you to Gringotts later to see what you have."

"What's Gringotts?"

"It's the bank. A rather spectacular one that's run by goblins. If your parents left you anything, which I am sure of, then it will be there. I recently set up an account there so maybe the next time I go, you can tag along. That is if Cosme doesn't want to take you himself. I doubt Garrick would care if we go without him."

Harry asked more questions like why goblins run a bank. What are goblins? Why don't wizards have any sense when it comes to magic? The answers were pretty straightforward, but even Jimmy had to concede that he had no clue why the money system didn't quite make sense. He thought it might be because the way that they made things skewed how valuable something was or maybe because most wizards didn't have a good math class. Harry was going to ask another question when Cosme popped up out of nowhere.

"Lessons over! It's time for dinner. You can stay for dinner if you want Jimmy."

Jimmy thought about going back to his dark and empty apartment and agreed quickly to dinner. Harry was staring at the sky and wondering why he didn't notice that it got so dark. Of course, there were small rows of lights that lined the courtyard and the pathways so maybe that was why he didn't notice it.

"Your food is the best! What are we having?" Jimmy was quickly walking on the heels of Cosme, but Harry followed more sedately. It was times like this that Harry thought that Jimmy resembled an easily excitable dog.

"Salmon en papillote, nothing fancy."

Jimmy perked up, "Cosme. You and I are not the same. How is salmon not considered fancy?"

Harry had to agree, especially since the Dursleys rarely had salmon and the few times that they had it was when a boss was visiting them.

Cosme just shook his head at Jimmy and then turned to Harry, "So did you learn anything from him or was this just an excuse for him to get out of work?"

Harry laughed, "No, I learned a lot. It was brilliant! I didn't even know that goblins existed."

They all sat down to eat. Harry loved the fish. It was soft and flavorful with colorful vegetables as a side. Harry loved trying all of the new foods.

Dinner with Cosme and Jimmy was interesting. Without Garrick there to derail Jimmy's unconventional ideas, the two spent the meal talking about ways to make a peppermint plant magical. Jimmy knew that they weren't allowed to talk about wand-making, but magical plants were different.

"Then again, I don't know why I have to make it magical at all! It is used in potions so surely it is magical enough to be a wandcore. Maybe I should stick it in a wand and see if it works. If our theory about wand-making is right then if I believe that it should work then it will."

Cosme sighed, "Oui, IF it is right, AND if you believe it enough."

Harry was enraptured and silent. They were having a debate about magical plants, right in front of him! He thought that he learned more about magical plants in that one meal than he thought he might ever get from a class.

Jimmy had to concede that he was pretty sure their theory was right, but maybe not certain enough to have it work for him.

"True enough. Oh before I forget, Garrick sent me a letter this morning, I am not sure if you got one too?"

"Non, why? What was it about?"

"He told me to make sure not to tell Gregorovitch about Harry."

Harry was wondering who Gregorovitch was and why he shouldn't know about him. Is it something to do with the whole dark wizard's defeat?

"Of course not, why would I?" Cosme said it so matter-of-fact that Jimmy blushed a bit which caused Cosme to follow it up with, "What! Why would you even think about sharing any secret with him?"

"Well, we see him every year for conventions so why not tell him? It's only a matter of time before he found out."

Oh, if they saw him regularly then Harry guessed that he must not be so bad.

"Oui, but why rush it? He will find out when we can no longer hide it from him. I thought that you did not even like Gregorovitch, anyway."

Jimmy shrugged, "I don't, but I thought that he was Garrick's friend and he would want to tell him."

"He will find out, most likely, at the next wand-making convention," Cosme decided that the line of conversation was over. "Harry, perhaps, after dinner we could do another story."

Harry smiled, "Definitely, yesterday's story was brilliant."

"Oh, telling tales without me? What story did you tell him?"

Jimmy's question was sincere, but Cosme still thought that he looked to be angling for another reason to stay past dinner. Cosme decided to put him out of his misery.

"I told him the story about the Fountain of Fair Fortune. Perhaps you can tell one of the stories that you know instead of me?"

Jimmy smiled and all three of them moved to a sitting room. The sitting room had a large fireplace and a few bookshelves filled with purposefully expensive books. It also had enough cozy seats for the three of them to sit any way that they wanted. Cosme was hoping to create a tradition where he and Harry relaxed together at the end of the day in the sitting room.

"Well it's a bit weird, but I did recently learn about Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump. It's very weird and I think it contributes to the oddities of British wizards."

Harry laughed, "If you think it made them weird then why are you going to tell it to me?"

"Well someone has to make you a proper British wizard and it isn't Cosme, he's French!"

"Jimmy! You are an American!"