"Damn, it has been that long huh? Well, I started this story back in 2020 and that stands as the legit date it was posted and continued onward, and I am damn proud at how far this story has gone, along with the other stories, and now this is a special one to me. A truly very special one, because some dumbfucker is about to die, and just when the dumbfuck was gonna become a possible bad guy. Oh well, time for I.M.P to personally murder this fucker, and it may turn out, he had other plans that would piss them off. "So, enjoy reading this 500th chapter folks!"
Helluva Loud Adventures.
"This not so big problem dies."
(February 18. Somewhere in Florida.)
The night is here, and the dark silhouettes of some figures race around the roof tops of the city and they land onto the largest building there, and they look around. The being are: Lincoln, Luna, Loona, Blitzo, Vark, Moxxie, Millie, Lucy and EveLynn. They couldn't bring Edmund, this is a stealth mission.
Lincoln then looks around the place. "So, who the fuck are we killing again?" They look to Lucy who reads them what was on the letter that was mailed to the I.M.P Building earlier.
Client:
Jimmy P. Wolfe, a soon to be chef since he graduates soon, he has done some troubling things back then and was most of the times a lay ass moron, but thanks to a good friendly talk with a therapist he managed to get out of his sloth and try to become a chef, but his crimes from the past still haunt him, he was locked up for stealing from the local supermarket and being rude in fast food restaurants.
The client is located in Pentagram City and owns ten restaurants, he is a successful sinner who managed well in his times within hell.
Target:
His name is Rob, and he goes by many stupid titles: the interdimensional boy, the king of simps, prince of disaster and interdimensional entity, when clearly he is not. The guy is a maniac and he will do anything to get what he wants, even if it means sacrificing others for the sake of gaining some power, he's been killing people lately and all the sinners who were killed by him long ago don't have the fucking guts to call someone to do something about it.
Many of his victims are folks who have changed from their bad ways, and he also killed kids and animals, he is a psycho cultist and power hungry son of a bitch who must be killed, and the cops don't even know who he is or where he is located, he's always hidden from everyone else.
Results:
Kill him, literally leave no trace of him and find some way to vaporize his soul so he doesn't fucking ever come back. Ensure this happens, and you will be paid handsomely in fat stacks of cash.
Warning:
This guy has some very strange stuff, they seem to be demonic trinkets, and he has a lot of sharp weapons, which he used to ambush and kill people for the sake of sacrifice for power. This asshole is just delusional and crazy. Be careful, I.M.P.
Blitzo smirks. "This should be fucking easy, doesn't sound so tough. Did we make it to the right shitty place?"
Loona sniffs the letter and her red eyes can see the trail of red scent from the target. "Got him, let's roll." They then jump off the building and they grab onto the pipe nearby, and then jump into a large hole through the wall, this building is abandoned and set to be demolished the following day.
The group stay quiet and they proceed to slowly walk around and look for the asshole they need to kill, they then hear some laughter and evil chuckles. "Oh, we got him" said EveLynn. They all slowly go towards a door with a demonic logo spray painted, and they see it is slightly open and they peek inside on who is the target.
They see the guy, he has black hair, pale white skin, wearing a light blue short-sleeved shirt, and white shorts and sneakers and he has green eyes which confuses the team of I.M.P. Lincoln is so confused. 'Wait, this is the dude we're going to kill? He doesn't seem like much.'
Millie is confused. "Why the fuck does he have that kind of skin, and what the heck is going on with his eyes?"
Lucy then speaks. "He must have some form of skin condition, and the eyes could be some colored contact lenses to make him look cool. But something doesn't seem right."
Moxxie then notices something. "Yeah, no kidding." They see what Moxxie sees, and what he sees is the wall near Rob and it is covered in photos that are all leading to one person, Lincoln Silva Hound. There are photos of the Family who are deceased and the others who are former louds, and the photos of their friends around the town, and the local sinners and demons who visit the town of Royal Woods.
Lincoln is confused seeing this. "Whoa, whoa. What the fuck is this? What is going on and who the fucking shit is this retarded asshole?"
Then Rob snickers evilly and he speaks. "Yes, I have claimed the tenth infant, and with the many hearts of these babies, I shall begin the ritual and claim what is mine. I have all the ingredients and other necessaries for the whole thing to be complete, and the sacrifice is accepted, I will be given interdimensional powers and become who I was meant to be. Rob, the interdimensional being."
"But this is after all the start. I need more, and to do so I must claim the powers of hell. I must end the lives of those who are allied with Lucifer, starting with the Immediate Murder Professionals. I end them, and there won't be anyone around to stop me in killing the Lord of Hell, all of hell will be sacrificed and my powers will be increased and all will bow down, to me!"
He then looks to the wall. "I need allies first. I need to find out where Lynnard Loud is, and the soul of Rita Loud. Through them they can be useful and powerful pawns, then I must weaken the boy by killing off his sister, and former sisters, his girlfriend and then his precious mother. He'll be heart broken and shattered to beat me, and then I will finish him off, once and for all!"
Hearing all of this, did not sound good, and they needed to stop this maniac, deep down they are all pissed off, though Loona is more enraged to the fact this asshole is seeking Lynnard and Rita's aid to kill them all. "Dudes, we gotta end this guy before he does something..." Luna then notices something. "Guys, where the heck is little bro?"
They look around and also see that he is missing, meanwhile Rob finishes one last thing and he laughs. "Yes, the heart of a supermodel woman, she was sexy and worth the fuck, and the kill. Her beauty within shall... AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Rob then sees some claws have pierced through his stomach, and his stomach is exposed and the claws crush his gut and then are pulled out from behind.
"What the heck?!" He then turns around and sees a very, very angry Lincoln Silva Hound, and Rob is freaked out and he backs away. "No... No, no! What are you doing here? You should be enjoying the rest of your damned wretched life so I can kill you!"
Lincoln growls. "Oh, you'd fucking love that wouldn't you, but we're not gonna let you try and ruin the life we have now you fucking retarded mother fucking shit headed dumb fucker!" Lincoln then leaps over and he impales his claws to the shoulders of Rob, but he manages to push away from Lincoln even though he is bleeding heavily, and he tries to run, but his stomach has been split open and he is bleeding.
Rob then grabs an axe and he swings it at Lincoln, but he manages to grab the weapon and he breaks it in two and then he growls. "You really thought that making allies with two fuckers who are assholes would gain you something? Then you must be the dumbest fucking mother fucker on this world! Your parents must be so fucking proud!"
Rob snarls. "Screw those parents of mine, what matters is power and I want that power, even if it means I have to kill a hundred thousand families for that path! You cannot stop me, and soon all of this damned universe will obey me!"
"Not gonna happen, dumb fucker." Rob turns around and Loona slashes his face, and his eyes are now severely wounded and he screams in pain and he can't see anymore. Then Luna leaps from above and she impales two solid metal rods into the shoulders of Rob and they pierce all the way through his arms and rip his hands off their sockets and joints.
Blitzo then fires his flintlock and the shot hits the balls and dick of Rob and they are blow clean off and he screams in pain at this horrific ordeal, then Moxxie uses a double barrel shotgun and he blasts off a portion of Rob's right side and this is far more painful and he struggles to try and escape them, but then Millie stabs his lungs with two knives, then EveLynn impales the man's back with a spear, and Lucy lands on his head and she rips off the eyes of Rob with her own hands, and he screams in pain at what he is going through.
Lucy then places the eye balls into a bag, and then Loona speaks. "You think hell will hurt you? No. We got something else in mind, something the client wants us to do to personally make sure that you never come back and that you are never remembered." She then has the grimoire from Stolas and she proceeds to search for the spell.
Rob moves around to see where he is, but he is slowly dying from loss of blood, and then Lincoln uses his claws and he rips off the feet of Rob. "Stay still, before it gets even worse for you."
Rob is now in distress and he sees that his belief in power is fading, and breaking. "Please! No... Please! Spare me!"
Loona then finds the spell. "No, we won't." She then reads from the book and the room begins to shake, and everything around Rob begins to float and all the stuff he has kept, even the human organs and remains attack the man, Rob screams in pain as his whole body is getting attacked by the lifeless objects that were all around the room.
The rest of I.M.P back away slowly and watch this carnage happen, and then Lucy tosses the eye balls and they are being crushed and destroyed by something horrific, the hearts of the victims have formed into this very disgusting creature that is neither from hell nor heaven, and it roars and it grabs Rob and holds him still.
Rob struggles to escape, but he can't see or even walk and then the strange and ugly creature barfs so much black tar into the mouth of Rob and he can feel the strange sensation of pain, and pure stinging fire within his mouth and he tries to scream but soon his body begins to turn to black and fade away like ashes.
Rob is then let go and he tries to crawl away as tar is leaking from his mouth and now from his sides and his stomach, he screams and tries to mutter some words, but before he can do that... All of a sudden, Rob fades away like ashes in the wind, and the ashes begin to slowly burn away and they have screams of pain, sorrow and misery.
They all sigh in relief and see the mess they have made. "Well, target down. Let's get the fuck out of this joint" said Luna.
They all agree and they take their leave from the abandoned apartment building, then Lincoln asks his mom. "Mom, what spell was that and where did that thing come from?"
Loona then looks through the book. "This spell summons a monster called the being of the unbirth, and what it does is that it perishes those who are deemed unfit for heaven, hell or limbo. But instead this thing literally vaporizes them all the way to their soul, so there is no trace of that mother fucking asshole anymore and the client will be pleased by this shit."
Blitzo smirks. "That fancy book sure has some crazy shit, also we should move fast I kinda poured some gas all over the room earlier, and this place is about to go down in fucking flames!" They all agree and they open the portal back to Royal Woods.
Blitzo then looks to the place and he has a match and he lights it. "So long, and lights out mother fucker." He then tosses it away and then he jumps through the portal and it closes, and soon enough the abandoned apartment building is engulfed in flames, and will soon collapse. Leaving no trace or evidence on the existence of a damned asshole, named Rob.
"To be continued in the next chapter folks!"
A/N: Holy shit, that felt good and a true fitting chapter 500 if I do say so myself. That dumb fucker is gone for good and not even coming back, I can't believe I came up with a way to kill that dumb fucker OC who is meaningless, that felt so good! I hope you all enjoyed reading this new chapter folks!
Fucking fine. Jeez shit. Sorry for killing your OC... At least I took the luxury of relishing the whole chapter and good bye Writer's Block. I have never felt so god damn Alive!
Date made: 12/19/21 – 12/20/21.