Allison smiled as she drove Everly to her first day of fifth grade, this was her last first day of elementary school. Allison felt a bit old taking her daughter to finish elementary school. While school was only an hour today to take attendance and ensure the students who said they were coming actually showed up, Allison was meeting with Everly's teacher after class was let out. They had learned that making contact the first day and discussing what Ev needed to succeed went a long way.
After class Allison pushed the stroller into Everly's classroom, appreciating that this year it was on the first floor with a door directly out to the sidewalk letting Ev come in and out with her classmates. She liked what she saw at first glance. The room was open and well organised with lots of room for Ev to move and it looked like extra furniture that had long been a safety hazard for Ev had been removed. Allison noticed the absence of a teacher's desk instead seeing just the large rainbow shaped table where the teacher could meet with students. She was pleasantly surprised to see Everly's large adaptive desk that accommodate her wheelchair as part of a group, the desks were arranged in 6 groups of five students and Everly's teacher had placed her in the one closest to the door and sink across the side of the group facing the board, around the room there were 5 other students sitting at the same angle with their group. This teacher from the initial set up got it, Everly wasn't isolated, she had a seat with classmates. Allison didn't care if Everly sat with her friends, as long as she wasn't isolated and sitting alone, Ev got along with everyone she could make new friends.
"Dr Blouin," the teacher greeted.
"It's Allison," Allison smiled, "you're Ms. Bartel?"
"Nikki," the teacher replied, "the rest of the team let me know you would have questions. I'm new to the school this year and actually a bit confused by Everly's file."
"She prefers to be Ev,' Allison replied, "I have some questions as well. Is this an okay time?"
"We have a meeting in about an hour and a half," Nikki replied.
"Why don't you go first," Allison replied, "I'm sure you have more than I do."
"I have several," Nikki agreed.
"Ask away," Allison encouraged, "we just want Ev understood and included."
"I teach my own physical education," Nikki replied, "I have mild CP and do share this with students in the first couple weeks. If you're comfortable with it I want to include Ev in as much physical activity as possible. I noticed Ev used her wheelchair today but the IEP mentions both a walker and crutches."
"We allow her to choose what she needs that day," Allison replied, "I think sharing with her about your CP and how you navigate it on good and tough days will really help her. She needs people she can really know to build her up and model for her."
"Physical education," Nikki asked, "how much can she do?"
"We encourage her to be active," Allison assured, "let her try and adapt. She likes wheelchair basketball. Running and jumping don't go well but she likes activities with balls and playing catch."
"Her home life," Nikki asked.
"Her dad and I are married," Allison replied, "she's always lived with both of us. She has a little brother."
"Full siblings," Nikki asked.
"Yes, ten years apart," Allison replied, "by choice. My parents often do pick up and drop off, they're semi-retired while Asher and I work full time. Asher is more available by phone after school. My days are unpredictable when I'm working. I'm off for a couple more months though."
"What do you do," Nikki asked.
"Orthopaedic surgery resident," Allison replied, "it's my third year of residency. Ev knows my number and how to get past a scrub nurse answering my phone."
"Her shunt," Nikki asked.
"Is scheduled for a routine revision this fall," Allison replied, "we'll let you know as soon as we have dates. She'll be out a week or two depending on how things go."
"And taking it easy for a few weeks after that," Nikki replied.
"Yes but not fully coddling," Allison replied, "we want her as independent as possible. She has to be."
"Does she get outside services," Nikki asked.
"PT and OT, counselling," Allison replied, "then her services from last year should roll over until the IEP meeting in October. I know she generates full time one to one funding. She needs some time but we're aware it's triaged in a school and while you have Ev you likely have 2-3 that need support but don't generate the funding for it. Ev will ask for help when she needs it. It is mainly mobility. She's strong academically and her social skills could use help but I think she needs practice and teaching with those."
"We will do that," Nikki agreed, "has she been included before?"
"Not as much as I'd like," Allison replied.
"Your big goals," Nikki asked.
"Full inclusion," Allison replied, "we've struggled since kindergarten for full inclusion. I don't want you to go easy on her. She's fully capable academically but I need her to see the environment is set up for her to be an active participant instead of a passive viewer. She did a lot of watching in third and fourth."
"She will be as involved as she chooses to be," Nikki assured, "I won't force her if she doesn't want to but she will always have the option. I know it's tricky for her and probably a bit scary."
"It is and new school years cause anxiety," Allison replied, "she's had a lot of changes this year with her brother being born after being the only child for 10 years. She's still adapting to sharing our attention."
"The next month is really about building community," Nikki replied, "making sure everyone feels welcome and like they belong."
"Okay," Allison agreed, "I just worry with her history. She has a few close friends but I didn't see them on the class list which is disappointing but will be okay. I know there's caps to how many IEPs you're allowed to have and Ev's is one that generates a lot of support time but she seldom actually needs it."
"It is her time," Nikki assured, "she's entitled to the support and it shouldn't be denied because she is capable."
"We want her to be capable," Allison replied, "once she gets to middle school there's less support available and even less in high school. She'll have to do it alone in college. She can transfer easily and can walk unassisted on flat, smooth familiar surfaces, she does at home. She swims competitively both with typical children and in a paralympic type setting and loves it. She's starting wheelchair basketball. She plays piano and goes to choir. She does things any other kid does just a bit differently. We want her to have as normal of an experience as possible."
"Other things to know," Nikki asked, "fears?"
"My brother is deployed in the middle east as a combat surgeon following in my parents footsteps," Allison replied, "talking about war makes her uncomfortable because to her it's not something in books or media it's her grandparents, Uncle Chris and Uncle Leo. I would like a heads up before planned lessons on it and will always connect with her about it when it comes up spur of the moment. If you would like speakers for veterans day or memorial day my parents and Chris are open to coming in. My parents were combat surgeons and Chris flew medivac helicopters."
Allison finished up her meeting with the teacher and walked out of the classroom, she smiled seeing that Everly was with a group of her friends. She hadn't seen some of the kids since the previous June. While she saw close friends over the summer they had stuck close to home only making a short trip to the cabin.
"Mom," Everly looked up.
"Good first day," Allison asked.
"Yes," Everly replied.
"Do you want to hang out and Andy and I can find a bench or head to auntie Annie's for lunch," Allison asked, with just Everly and Heather in the local schools this year and the rest off at college or med school Annie and Allison had decided a back to school lunch worked best.
"Here," Ev replied, "do you have my crutches?"
"In the car," Allison answered, "I can go get them."
"It's okay," Ev replied.
"You hang out I'm going to take Andy to the bench for a bottle," Allison replied, unlike with Everly she was combination feeding Andy, giving him formula along with breastmilk. Her milk supply had never fully come in and instead of fighting it and making herself and Andy miserable they did 2-3 feedings at home when Allison was relaxed then formula the rest of the time. Allison felt more relaxed this time and loved how easy it was for Asher to feed Andy and knew it would be easier once he started daycare to give them formula powder and not worry if she had left enough pumped milk if a surgery went long. Sitting on the bench she took the bottle from it's insulated sleeve in the diaper bag and held Andy to feed him.
Once they were settled Ev led some of her friends over to see her little brother, excited to show him off now that he was calm and eating. Andy looked up seeing Ev with a group of other kids.
"Mom," Ev asked, "can my friends hold Andy?"
"When he's done eating why don't we put his blanket on the grass and you can all play with him there," Allison suggested, Andy didn't love new people and being held by anyone other than Allison, Asher and Everly. He screamed at Annie and Teddy and sobbed when Owen talked to him, Owen couldn't even hold his little hand.
"Back to routine," Owen said as he and Teddy walked along the beach near the cottage.
"Soon," Teddy replied, "Allie extended her mat leave. I'm glad Annie pushed her to. She's having an adjustment again."
"Andy is something else," Owen shook his head.
"He's so attached to Allie," Teddy replied, "she's good with her kids and absolutely dotes on them."
"Allie is a good mom," Owen agreed, "she's happy at home with her kids."
"She is for a time," Teddy replied, "then she gets bored and needs the mental stimulation of school and work."
"I just wish we could hold and play with Andy," Owen replied, "we've never had a grandchild reject us before."
"He's only a few months he'll come around," Teddy assured, "they all get clingy at that age. We only didn't go through it with Ev because she lived with us and we saw her all day every day. We would hold and snuggle so Allie and Asher could eat or have 10 minutes to themselves. We were so involved in taking care of Ev because Allie and Ash were so young. We didn't do that with Annie's kids."
"Andy is the worst of them all," Owen replied, "he screams when he sees or hears me."
"We need time with them," Teddy replied, "they're so self sufficient now."
"I miss them," Owen admitted, "I would have been okay for them to stay forever."
"But they weren't," Teddy replied, "they needed that feeling of adulthood."
"They did," Owen replied, "I just need more time with them. Of all of them I know Ellie the least, she's so close in age to Allie and we were in the thick of having little ones when she was little. She doesn't call or text back."
"She's caught up in med school," Teddy shook her head, "she hardly replies to me and Annie has to chase her down."
"You go teach in New York soon," Owen said.
"I do, "Teddy replied, "I'll spend time with Ellie."
"I might go with you," Owen said, "we'll take a few days after and rent a car to explore New England. Get away for a few days."
"I like it," Teddy agreed, "we'll book it when we get home. I like being able to go just us and not worry about the kids."
"Do we ever really stop worrying about them," Owen asked.
"No," Teddy agreed, "Leo is the most worrying right now. I don't like those reports. Him and Theresa, it's getting serious."
"Meaning," Owen asked.
"When the time comes I'm going to give him my mom's ring," Teddy replied, "I know the tradition is to hand down the one I have but."
"I'm still here and you're still wearing it," Owen replied.
"I love the symbolism in passing down a family ring but I like having this one," Teddy replied, "I've passed down a lot of my mom and grandma's jewellery to the the girls but there are a couple pieces I saved for Leo's wife eventually."
"Theresa," Owen asked.
"I have a hunch," Teddy agreed, "they're dating and you know how things were for us with couples and the intensity."
"I know," Owen replied, "but I think he'll be okay Teddy."
"I hope so," Teddy replied, "we went through hell with it. I want better for him."
"And we will be there to support him through it," Owen replied, "whatever he chooses."
"I'm proud of him and his choice but I don't want him to suffer like we did," Teddy replied.
"But we know Teddy," Owen assured, "we know what it's like and can support him and her."
"She'll come home with him when this tour is done," Teddy smiled.
"They still have 18 months," Owen replied, "but yes on the next leave she's coming home as well."
"Hopefully who ever is chief then will give them jobs," Teddy replied, "Megan is stepping down and Annie rejected it."
"Josh is considering it," Owen replied.
"Out of loyalty," Teddy replied, "neither wants it but they don't think both of them can say no to Megan."
"Who," Owen asked.
"Jenna would be my recommendation from with in," Teddy replied, "or we have to look at another Fox hospital. Bring in someone new."
"New isn't bad," Owen replied.
"Our staff wouldn't do new," Teddy replied.
"It might be really good for all of us," Owen said, "we're retiring anyway."
"Will we actually do it," Teddy asked.
"You're down to one day in the OR and one and a half of clinic," Owen replied, "I'm down to two days a week."
"I'm dropping again after christmas," Teddy replied, "one day of clinic and operating every other week. Pulling back on teaching."
"You're ready," Owen assured.
"I am," Teddy replied, "get Allie through residency then I'm done."
"You could go sooner," Owen suggested.
"I want to be there for her," Teddy replied, "I can't take Annie all the way through at our hospital and not Allie. I wish we could do more with Leo that way."
"Allie is more confident than Annie," Owen replied, "and she's chosen ortho. Us being involved in training for cardio and trauma made sense but we're not ortho surgeons. She will understand."
"I can't," Teddy replied, "I couldn't forgive myself. I walked that path with Annie, I will support Allie and Leo through it as well."
"You are," Owen promised, "I'm saying Allie doesn't need you full time at the hospital. The best way we can support them is to be there, listen, spend time with then and their kids. Just be there and be available."
"It's hard to let go of," Teddy replied, "it's been one of the few constants in my life through everything. Medicine has always been there."
"It's okay to let it go Teddy," Owen assured, "you can walk away as soon as you're ready with no regrets. You've done amazing things and saved so many lives. Teddy it's okay."
"Is it though," Teddy asked, "my parents never got to retire."
"Is that what this is," Owen asked.
"It is," Teddy replied, "it makes me old. My parents never got to be old. They never got to even talk of retiring."
"You will get to an to enjoy it and love our grand kids and spend time in the kitchen," Owen said, "learn to do something new, volunteer, read that stack of books you don't think I see under our bed."
"Garden," Teddy smiled.
"You have things to do," Owen said, "just do it. Teddy it's okay, it's time."
"But you," Teddy asked.
"I'm still okay doing two days a week," Owen replied, "but you, you're ready. It's okay to say it and act on it. Don't be Richard."
"I'm trying not to be," Teddy agreed, "I won't die in the hospital having never fully lived and loved. Owen I'm not quite ready two days or a day and a half is good for now. I'm happy to slow down but not walk fully yet. And we're finally going to see Japan and Thailand next month."
"And Australia after Christmas," Owen said.
"Two months travelling in the next six," she smiled, "we are taking time. My work is travel spending money so we don't touch our savings or retirement."
"If it makes you feel better," Owen replied.