"Do you have family?" Sara asked Lee one night in their second month of training. He was used to her questions now, and they spent some nights talking while others she spent sleeping and he sat in the silence trying not to think about things that were painful.

"No," he answered quietly.

"Did something bad happen to them?"

"My mother died a long time ago, and my father disowned me," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he told her. "He wasn't the best guy in the world." He shifted in his chair. They were on the porch again, listening to the night sounds. It was nearing October and still hot.

"No siblings?"

"No."

"I never knew my father," she said after a bit of a pause. He turned his head to look at her. She was playing with her hands in her lap. He noticed dark roots showing in her hair, which told him she wasn't a natural blonde.

"No?" he said.

"No. He died before I was born."

"Oh."

"My mom and my sister were all I had," she said, sighing and straightening in her chair. "Then they both died, and I had no one but Cid."

Lee had learned her son's name a few weeks prior. She spoke about him a lot, and Lee found himself wanting to meet this kid to get to know him further. He found himself thinking about Sara a bit more than he wanted to. Lacy had barely been in touch the last while, and he suspected she'd moved on from him again. She hadn't answered his last few phone calls, which was a big indicator of that.

"Who's his father?" Lee asked.

"Some guy," Sara answered dismissively. He stared at her, and she blushed. "Sorry. I just...I had a job where I met a lot of people who meant nothing."

"What?" he asked. It came out a bit sharper than he'd intended, and she instantly looked guarded.

"Nevermind," she said, moving to get to her feet.

"Sara, stop," he said, getting up to follow her. "I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise is all. I didn't...I wouldn't have..."

"What? Pegged me as someone who did that kind of work?" she challenged.

"No," he said honestly. "I didn't."

"Well, I did it. I did it a long time because I needed money and it was the first job that didn't turn me away, that I didn't need some big, fancy degree for to be able to do."

It almost broke his heart to think that no one would hire her so she resorted to that line of work. His fist involuntarily clenched at the thought of men watching her and touching her...doing things to her...hurting her. He found himself caring for her more than he thought he would, and he was discovering that he would do anything to keep her from harm.

"I was good at it," she said quietly, turning her head to look out at the yard now. "I was the one every guy wanted to be with. To have that kind of attention...any kind of attention...was overwhelming for me, and I just went along with everything and anything because I didn't want to be unwanted."

Lee watched her hug an arm around her stomach and almost fold into herself. He didn't know what to think in this moment. When she started to cry, he felt a bit startled but also couldn't help himself.

He moved to pull her into him in a hug, and he could feel her surprise at first but then she sank into him, wrapping her arms around his chest. He said nothing, and she cried quietly for a moment until she had nothing left. She stayed in his arms, her head curled so that it was against his heart. Lee rested his face near her hair, breathing her in. Something was happening here...he could feel it in his chest. Then he felt guilty because he technically was still dating Lacy, even if she had fallen off the radar. He wasn't one to wander until he was 100% single.

"Being unwanted is the worst feeling in the world," she whispered.

"I know."

"I did that to my own son," she said tearfully. "I left him with my sister because I thought he was better off without me. What kind of mother does that?"

"One who has some misguided thinking and self-doubts," he replied.

"I just was too trapped in a life that was no good for him, so I thought I was making the right choice in giving him to my sister."

Lee figured something happened because obviously she had gotten Cid back at one point and her sister had died. "It sounds like at the time you were doing what you felt was best for him, and that's what a parent does—they do what's best for their kids."

"By giving them up?"

"Sometimes," he answered.

"Sometimes I think he really does hate me," she said quietly. "After my sister died and he was back in my care, I was a stranger to him...endured a lot of fits and name calling, but we figured it out slowly. Then all of this happened, and I fear he thinks I abandoned him once again."

"I think when it's all over, you'll get to show him that's not true."

"I hope so."

"You will."

She was warm in his arms. He felt relaxed with her there. He wanted to make her feel better.

"I also had an addiction, and I beat that," she told him, still in his arms. "I realized there's more to me than all of that, what I did...who I was. There always has been. I just haven't figured out how to show it to people." She pulled her head back to look at him then.

"You show it to me," he said softly, and her eyes slightly widened in shock, as if she hadn't realized it until now. "You just did." He felt her stiffen and then she stepped back from him. He felt cold without her.

"Yea, well," she said, looking away, the walls going back up slowly. "I'm stuck here with you 24/7 aren't I? I can't hide it forever."

"You weren't exactly trying to hide it," he pointed out. She pressed her lips together but didn't say anything else. He decided to change the subject. "Is his father a good guy at least? If he's taking care of him?"

"He was better than most. Cid is safe with him." She was clearly done with this conversation since started to walk away. He couldn't help but look at her scar again where she'd been shot.

Someone tried to kill me.

Her words haunted him at times. Who had tried to kill her and why? He still didn't feel he could ask her. She went inside, and he left her alone. He sat back down, his thoughts going a million miles an hour.

The Next Day

Sara was up early for once. She hadn't slept well for thinking about all she'd shared with Lee the night before. She didn't do that with people, so why him? She didn't get it. But she felt appreciative that he hadn't judged her, hadn't called her a bad mom or told her she deserved to not have Cid in her life. He'd simply listened, and she felt like she could tell him anything and he'd never run away.

Well, maybe not everything...

She felt the need to make things lighter between them again, which was why she was currently carrying a pail of water to Lee's room. He was sleeping shirtless on his back with one arm over his head. His one leg was sticking out from under the covers, revealing navy pajama bottoms. For a moment, she looked at him and wondered what it would be like to wake up next to him every day. Having him hold her yesterday had taken her completely off guard, but she discovered that she liked it, and that wasn't good. She shouldn't even be thinking about him or what it would be like to have his hands...

She shook out the thought quickly. That was never going to happen. He had Lacy, and she had her past, which now that he knew about it, she was pretty confident he'd never be interested in her anyway. She also wasn't going to be here forever. She had to keep her distance.

She chucked the water on him, and he woke up bellowing and swearing. She tore off laughing like a hyena, and he chased after her and threatened to stab her. She made it outside and ran around the porch only to have him catch her by the stairs, and they fell down them together with his arms around her. They landed in a heap of tangled arms and legs, but she was still laughing.

"Bloody hell," Lee said, trying to disentangle from her. He propped himself up finally, and she looked up at him as he hovered over her. An image of kissing him and holding him tight against her made her heart skip, and she worked hard to focus on the present.

"I see why you do it now," she commented.

"Do what?"

"The morning torment," she answered. "It's fun."

"I don't do it for fun," he started. She rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know. You do it because you're making me alert and ready for anything."

"Exactly."

She put her hands on his chest to shove him off when he caught her one wrist in his hand. She felt like her fingers were burning against his skin, and she pushed down the desire. He had a look in his eyes that she felt matched hers, but then he was on his feet and hauling her up with him. Giving herself another mental shake, she walked back up the stairs.

"Come on, sleepy head!" she called over her shoulder. "We got work to do!" She left him floundering and grabbed her bow and arrows. She felt like taking some shots for a bit before he made her work hardcore on everything else. She also needed to put her focus onto something else other than how he had felt under her hands.

He joined her about twenty minutes later, sipping on a mug.

"That better not be coffee," she warned, looking at him sharply. He smiled behind the rim of his mug, and she dropped her jaw. "You bastard!"

"I don't think so," he said, laughing as she came at him for it. He held it up out of reach, trying not to spill it.

"How could you keep coffee from me!" she cried, giving him a shove. He barely moved, which infuriated her. He was too muscular and solid.

"Because it's my own personal stash, and if you needed coffee so much to survive, you would have brought enough to last you," he reasoned.

"I didn't know we were going to be stranded in the woods with minimal grocery runs for weeks on end," she retorted.

"Well, you have to be prepared for anything," he commented. She went to kick his kneecap, and he sidestepped her, laughing again as she stormed back to her post. She heard him slurp loudly on purpose and smack his lips in pleasure after. She looked at him holding that damn mug up in a salute, and she couldn't help herself. She made it seem like she was aiming her arrow in the complete opposite direction, but then she turned and let it fly...right at his precious mug.

"OYE!" he bellowed, jumping back after it shattered in his hand. "What the actual hell are you doing?!"

"Revenge," she answered. He scoffed and shook his head, shaking his hand to get the hot coffee off it before bending to pick up the pieces of his mug.

"That was my favorite mug," he told her grouchily.

"Aww, poor thing," she retorted. He made a face at her, going to deposit his mug in the garbage before coming back. She watched him eye up her bow and wondered if he'd ever shot one before.

"You do know how to use one of these, right?" she asked, tilting her head at him.

"Maybe."

"That's a hard no then," she said with a laugh.

"Fine, I have not," he admitted reluctantly. "Rub it in already."

"Unlike some people, I'm not like that, but I can teach you," she said. "Come on." He came over to her, and she showed him how to aim and hook the arrow into the string.

"Not that hard, really," she said as he pulled the arrow back. She reached to push on the inside of his elbow lightly to put a bend in it. "Don't have it straight like that. You'll regret it." She couldn't remember how many times she'd thwacked herself with the damn string and left a mile long bruise on her arm from it.

"Nice," Lee said after firing and hitting his target. "I see why you like it."

"Yea, it's alright."

"Who taught you?"

"One of my mom's boyfriends," she answered dismissively. She left out that the boyfriend would cop feels on her out in the woods. No one needed to know that...or why he'd ended up with an arrow stuck in his leg that made it so he could never walk without a cane ever again. He'd been the one to start the confusion for her about men and what they wanted from women.

"He hunted?"

"Yup."

Lee didn't say anything as he aimed and fired a few more arrows. They all lined up in a row vertically on the same tree.

"Show off," she muttered as he smirked at her afterwards. Then she wondered if he was actually that good for a first try or if he really hadn't used a bow before and was just indulging her. She didn't ask, choosing to believe he was just lucky.

"Alright, playtime's over," he said, handing her the bow back. She resisted rolling her eyes.

...

Sara was getting better at sparring. She blocked and ducked Lee's blows better, and she managed to land a few herself. Today, she nailed him in the face hard, and he stumbled but didn't fall. She watched him work his mouth and then spit out some blood.

"Nice," he said. "That's progress."

"Your teeth still in your head?" she asked.

"For now." He put his fists up, and she went at him again. She hit him again, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit of pride. They'd been doing this for a while after all.

"Admit it," she said. "You're impressed."

"Not yet," he replied. "But you have come a long way."

"Aw, thanks."

He ducked her punch but got nailed by her knee in his gut. Without realizing what was happening, he was suddenly flat on his back with her landing on top of him. Both of them were breathing hard, and he instinctively cupped her waist with his hands. Looking up at her, he couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was.

"My first takedown," Sara said, her voice sounding a bit awestruck. "Holy shit!"

"I'd be concerned if you weren't getting better," he said back. He was slightly stunned by her smacking his cheek playfully before getting up.

"Come on, Christmas," she said. "Don't make it too easy for me." He laughed out loud and stood up. He had her in a headlock easily enough, and she was exclaiming and struggling while he kept laughing. He finally let her go, and she pushed off of him before adjusting her shirt and flipping her head.

"Show off," she said.

"Like I said," he retorted. "You've made progress, but you're not better than me yet."

"Challenge accepted," she said, coming at him again. At one point, she was on his back and he was trying to block her elbow going into the spot between his neck and shoulder. He backed her into a tree and she lost her grip before sliding off sideways. She took him down with her since she managed to grab his neck on her way by. Once again, they were tangled up together. Lee lost his concentration when his mind almost convinced him to claim her mouth with his, and she kicked his back with her heel and gained a pained grunt from him in return. They rolled around wrestling until he caught her wrists and pinned her by them on either side of her head, sitting on her stomach and trying to breathe. She tried to get out of his grip, but he had her firm. As he looked at her, he saw a bit of fear in her eyes.

And he instantly let her go.

Sara closed her eyes but not before he saw the relief in them. She pressed a hand to her face and slid it off with a small laugh.

"What?" Lee asked, resting his hands on the ground on either side of her.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Doesn't look like nothing."

"Alright. I was this close to going after your boys," she said, showing him an inch with her fingers.

"I appreciate the restraint."

"They're fair game in the field, though, right?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

He moved off to sit beside her, pulling his knees up and resting his arms over them. She propped herself up with her hands a moment later, her legs slightly spread as she sat there breathing hard.

"Who did you see?" he asked her, and she looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"When I was holding you down," he said, "who did you see?" He knew that's what it was. He felt angry again at the thought that she'd been hurt. It looked like she was going to brush it off, but then she gave a small sigh.

"There was this one guy," she said finally, being honest. "He was rougher than most, and sometimes he scared me with what he could do to me. He liked to threaten it a lot to keep me in my place."

"Sara..."

"It's okay," she cut him off, holding up a hand. "It's in the past, and I'm in the present." She held his gaze, her eyes asking him to let it go, so he did. It didn't stop him from wanting to find that man and kill him, though.

"I think this brings me to the next stage of our training," Lee said.

"What's that?"

"Escaping restraints."

"Oh..."

"Come on," Lee said, getting up. "You need to learn how." Sara said nothing as she followed him, and he gave her a play by play for each way of being bound and how to escape. In no time, she was freeing herself and looking pleased with her progress. It made Lee feel a bit better as well knowing that she would be all right should someone kidnap her or worse. He just hoped that would never happen.

...

Barney went to see Gunner at rehab. The big man was looking better at least. They sat down on the back patio in the shade.

"Checking in on me?" Gunner asked finally.

"Why else would I be here?"

"I'm doing fine."

"I can see that. The glaze is missing from your stare," Barney said a bit jokingly. Gunner smiled slightly.

"The therapy is really helping," he admitted.

"Good."

"We gonna get a job soon?"

"When you're ready, I'll bring you along," Barney promised. Gunner nodded slowly. He knew how much Gunner liked to fight, but he needed the man in a good place before bringing him back to work.

"How is Sara working out?"

Barney resisted smiling. It seemed that Toll wasn't the only one with an interest in their newest team member.

"No idea. Lee's still radio silent."

"She seems like a nice girl."

"Well, we kind of need her to be a bit harder," Barney pointed out.

"You know what I mean."

"Yea, I do." She still had heart, which Barney couldn't stop thinking about after hearing Munroe go on about how they were all black hearted mercenaries who were dead inside. He couldn't remember the day he'd turned so hard against the world. It had just happened. If he was honest, he hoped Sara wouldn't lose that, but doing this job for too long would eventually change it, so he knew he was going to lose that hope eventually.

"Hey, man," a guy said, popping into view now. "Group is starting in five."

"Thanks," Gunner replied.

"I can stick around for a bit," Barney offered.

"Sure. That'd be nice."

"See you in a few."

Gunner nodded and went inside. Barney lit up a cigar and leaned back in his chair. He, too, couldn't help but wonder just how well Sara was coming along by now.

A Week Later

Sara was sitting outside on the porch and listening to the night sounds when Lee came outside. She glanced at him and felt surprised to see him shirtless and holding a straight razor blade and shaving soap.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"You've never seen this before?" he asked, holding up the razor.

"Yes," she retorted. "One of my mom's boyfriends was a barber. I know what it is and how to use it." She knew it made it sound like her mom dated a lot, but she actually didn't. Sara remembered three men her mom went out with during Sara's childhood and teenage years. Then she'd died. The barber boyfriend had been Sara's favorite. He never treated her like an idiot and was happy to teach her things. He also was the only one who could make her really laugh in those days. She never fully understood why he and her mom had broken up.

"Good," Lee said, sitting down. "Then I don't have to teach you." She raised a brow at him.

"Are you too lazy to shave yourself or...?" she trailed off. He looked at her seriously.

"I told you that I would let you know when you had my trust," he said, and she felt her stomach drop slightly. Her attention was thoroughly captured now. He held out the razor to her. "What better way than to let you loose with a straight blade against my throat?"

She slid off the railing slowly and walked over to him, taking the blade and feeling the weight of it in her hand. Then she looked at him again.

"You serious?"

He lifted a brow without a word, and she knew that was his answer. She moved to take the shaving soap from him too, and he rested his hands on his legs, waiting. Sara hesitated at first, knowing that touching him did things to her on the inside, but she couldn't throw away this moment either. Earning his trust had been hard. She didn't speak either as she started to spread the soap on his cheeks. When he closed his eyes, that's when she knew she had his full trust. After wiping her hands with the rag on the railing, she opened the straight blade and set to work. She admired his trust. He didn't flinch or breathe heavier with anxiety as she started. He didn't open his eyes either. She did her best to calm her nerves as she continued. She kept looking at his face and wondering why he'd choose this of all things to show he trusted her. Her hands were shaking a little, so she surprised herself and him by sitting down on his lap with her feet touching the floor on either side of the chair while he moved his arms out of the way. He opened his eyes at this, and his hands automatically went to hold her waist. She sat there with the blade in her fingers, looking into his eyes. He was not very successful in hiding his thoughts and feelings in them, which made her feel all tumbly inside and unsure of what to think about it.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I need something to rest my elbows on or else I might nick you," she answered, putting them on his shoulders. It helped steady her hand a little. He didn't say anything else, but she saw the pulse in his neck quicken.

"Head back," she said quietly. He obeyed, closing his eyes again. She shaved his throat and jaw gently. She was very aware of his hands on her waist and that they were touching her skin a little from where her shirt had ridden up.

When she was finished, she used her fingers to wipe away the left over soap in places. Then she wiped that on her pants before smoothing her right palm over his left cheek. He opened his eyes again, finding hers instantly, and she could feel her own heart starting to race as she thought about how easy it would be in this moment to move in those last five inches and kiss him.

She didn't want him to think she was abusing his trust, though, even if he was thinking the same thing.

"Looks good," she said, clearing her throat. She removed her hand, but he still held onto her waist. Sara wondered what he was thinking as he continued to look at her, but she had an idea.

"You have my trust," he finally said quietly. "Don't lose it."

"I won't," she murmured back. How easy it would be to cross this line with him. How easy it would be to act on something she always did for the sake of running away from true feelings. She'd never fully associated being physical with someone as being intimate or getting closer with someone; it was just something to do in her mind. It had only ever been shown to her as being something meaningless. She didn't know if she even knew what intimacy was, but if it was anything like what she was feeling with him right now, then she wanted more of it. And not with just anyone, either. With him.

"You can get off now," he said, finally releasing her waist. Disappointment hit her hard, but she understood. They were partners. They were not lovers. He was still technically dating Lacy, even if she did believe the woman had dumped him without telling him again. Even if he did look like he wanted to kiss her too.

"Right," she said, giving a dry chuckle and getting off of him. He took the blade back from her and gathered up the rest, heading back inside and letting the door bang slightly behind him. Sara went to sit on the rocking chair and tried to still her shaking hands. She gripped her hair tightly with her right hand after a while. She had to focus. Her mission here was these jobs and then getting back to Cid. She was not here to fall in love. She didn't think she was even capable of falling in love anyway.

Or that she even deserved to have someone love her in return.

...

Lee looked at himself in the mirror. Sara had done an impeccable job shaving, and he could tell she greatly appreciated his trust in her finally. He felt it was fair since she'd trusted him with her story, one he had a feeling she did not tell many people about if anyone (and he hoped she knew he didn't judge her for it). But he also trusted her abilities...she'd shown him she could have his back.

The only thing he kept thinking about was what he didn't do. When she had sat on his lap, his brain had fumbled to work properly. Having her that close to him without trying to punch his face confirmed something he didn't even know he still had in him.

Love.

He was falling in love with Sara. He couldn't deny it. He couldn't act on it either. They worked together. If they messed that up, they'd risk dying in the field because of their emotions. They had to remain professionals. But...

The way she'd looked at him. He knew she'd contemplated it too, and he wondered if she could see it in him that he returned it. He swallowed.

"Lee?" her voice called now, the screen door banging behind her. "Barney's here." He turned his head to see her standing in the doorway. All thoughts of changing his mind and going out there to kiss her were leaving him by the second.

"Thanks," he said back. He grabbed his black t-shirt, throwing it on as he walked to the door. He didn't feel up to Barney's comments about what was going on around here.

"Hey," Barney said as he shut his truck door with a heavy thud. Lee noticed it had been the truck he was working on before Lee had left. It looked good.

"What're you doing out here?" Lee asked, crossing his arms as he stood on top of the porch steps.

"Checking in. We have a job," Barney answered. "I also hired a sniper. Billy the Kid. He's really good."

"You hired without consulting me?"

"Don't you trust my judgment? Sara turned out okay," Barney said, gesturing at the cabin. Sara hadn't returned outside, Lee noticed.

"You got lucky."

"Ha, okay. So, how are things here? Is she ready?"

"She's ready."

"Then I'll tell Tool we are good to go," Barney said. "Wheel's up tomorrow around 0900."

"Why so late?"

"We're getting there a day early," Barney answered with a shrug. "Why rush?"

"Alright."

Barney gave a curt nod and then went back to his truck. Lee watched him get in and drive away, spewing gravel a little as he went. He went back inside to find Sara cooking.

"He has a job for us?" she asked without looking at him.

"Yea."

"You think I'm ready?" She finally looked at him, fork poised in the air over the pot of boiling pasta.

"I do."

She smiled as she looked back at what she was doing. Lee let his imagination run wild in that moment. He allowed himself to think about what it would be like to walk up to her, take her in his arms, and lean her backwards over the counter. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her, to feel her heart beating against his chest. He wondered what it would be like to have that intimate moment with her, but something told him she struggled with intimacy. He had a feeling it wasn't as meaningful to her like it was to him. He had a feeling that she'd never experienced true intimacy.

"What?" she asked, noticing him staring at her. He felt his face flush, and he cleared his throat.

"Nothing. Sorry. I was just thinking about what we'd need for the job," he lied.

"Ah, that explains the gleam in your eye," she said, chuckling. "You're imagining all your little knives being packed up and put to use again."

"Yea," he agreed, reaching to scratch the back of his head. "Exactly."

"Well, partner," she said, leaning on the counter and resting her chin in her hand while looking at him. "Don't cry when I put you to shame."

"You're hysterical," he retorted, moving away from her. He needed to breathe. She let him go without any further comments. He started packing up his stuff just to have something to do. They'd leave early tomorrow morning and meet Barney at his hangar.

He sure as hell hoped that Sara wouldn't forget everything she'd learned here.

Yes, I've used a similar shaving scene in another story not that long ago, but to be fair, I never thought this story would be published, and I wanted to use that scene somewhere. Now you've got it twice lol.

I apologize for the delay. I've been trying to manage some strong grief in the last month, so I haven't felt like really doing anything. I'll try to update again soon, though. Thank you for your patience xo.