Part IV. The Ghost of Christmas Past

—

December 20, 2022

"You're bad at this," Annabeth says, peeking over her friend's shoulder. "Don't get nail polish on the seat. My dad will kill me."

"Stop moving," her friend says, grabbing Annabeth's toes and holding them in place. Annabeth settles back against the cushion, adjusting the blanket over her lap. It doesn't do much against the cold, and she's not sure why they decided to sit on the back porch instead of staying inside, but it doesn't matter much when she gets to stare at the gleaming white snow spanning all of outside.

Piper shakes her foot vigorously, and Annabeth eyes her dismissively. "What?"

"I'm done with this one," she says, shoving Annabeth's foot off her lap. "This is the first time I've seen you in years, and you've barely said a word. What's up?"

"I'm thinking about how I should've chosen green polish." Annabeth curls her leg into her lap. Piper slides onto the outdoor sofa next to her, and she steals a bit of the white blanket too before sighing and resting her head on Annabeth's shoulder.

"I always thought we'd have a lot more fun when we were twenty-four. Never imagined wearing matching pajamas."

Annabeth never imagined wearing matching Christmas pajamas either, but she'd nearly been bodily wrestled into it. It's cute, though, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss this. She made friends in LA, but none of them were like this. It was a different, fast-paced environment where everyone was for themselves, so this is a breath of fresh air.

Annabeth rests her cheek on the side of Piper's head. "Do you have any plans for us, or are we going to sit here all day?

"I have to work later, but there's a festival downtown if you're willing to go alone."

"I'll have to pass."

"You wouldn't be alone alone. I think a ton of people from high school will probably be there."

Annabeth snorts. "Like who?"

"Percy."

Annabeth groans.

"Have you spoken to him yet?"

"Two days ago," she says. "I couldn't tell what he was thinking."

"He was probably thinking about the fact that you had someone else's hands all over you."

Annabeth falls silent, and Piper grins.

"Don't get quiet now, babe. Tell me about it."

"There's nothing to tell."

Piper scoffs at that, and she shifts in the seat to sit on her legs. "Does the name Connor ring a bell?"

It rings all too many bells.

She built a life on the opposite side of the country, away from everyone she knew. She learned and laughed and loved, and it's like she's an entirely different person here than she was there. It's two separate lives, and in that other life—the one in California—she'd met a sweet kid named Connor. She's still not sure what drew him in, but he stuck around, introducing her to his friends who accepted her as though she was there the entire time. He spent his days studying beside her late at night in the library, bringing her coffee on her worse days, and when he'd kissed her a year into their friendship, she couldn't find a reason to tell him no.

Annabeth loved him, but she'd come to learn that there is a very distinct difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, and so when Connor pulled out a ring, she knew she could never say yes.

Maybe that was part of the reason she decided to come back after six years. She destroyed what she had there, and so she came running back with a white flag.

"Tell me about him," Piper says. "What happened?"

"I met him at school," she says. "We were friends, and then we were dating. I barely remember the transition."

"What was he like?"

"Insane," Annabeth laughs, tightening the blanket around herself. "He had a brother, Travis, and it was so hard to tell them apart. They love messing with people. But Connor was the sweetest, and awful at writing."

"Was he good in bed?"

"Piper."

Piper cackles, shoving her leg. "Give me something juicy. Did you love him?"

"I did."

"Then why'd you say no when he proposed?"

Annabeth isn't shocked that Piper knows about that. Annabeth hadn't particularly gone around telling people about it, but it must have been clear enough when everything on social media was taken down overnight.

Annabeth knows exactly why she had said no.

It was because although he was bad at writing, he always brought her books he thought she would like, and he only did that because she told him Percy did it first. It was because whenever it was Connor's lips brushing against hers, she was remembering how Percy did it better. It was late at night that Annabeth could only imagine it was Percy pressing into her back, digging his face in the crook of her neck. Connor stayed with her late at the library, but she always had to ask for him when Percy did it on his own.

The few years she spent with Connor were good, but she could never have stayed the rest of her life.

"I wasn't ready to be a wife," Annabeth tells her, laughing so she didn't begin to cry.

"When did this happen?"

"Six months ago. I've been on my own since then."

"They stopped being your friends? All of them?"

"They still invited me, but it's hard, you know? They weren't going to ask me not to come, but they didn't want me there. When something like that happens, you have to pick sides. They chose him." Annabeth breathes. "Anyway, I'll survive. I'll figure that out once I get back."

"You still didn't answer if he was good in bed."

Annabeth rolls her eyes. "What about Jason?"

"He wasn't very good," Piper says. "I'm dating a girl now."

"That is…not what I meant."

"Well, it's what you get," Piper says playfully, flopping onto Annabeth's lap. "I have to go to work in an hour, so let's actually do something fun."

They definitely don't do anything fun in the slightest. They mainly sit there for another hour talking about the people both of them used to hate, and it's fun in its own way, but not a productive use of time. It flies by, and then Piper is gone, leaving Annabeth staring up at the ceiling of her childhood bedroom.

It's void of any emotion or memory, a basic room. There's a white dresser and decorated bed, courtesy of her stepmother who took it upon herself to change her room after she left, so she supposes it's not really her childhood bedroom anymore. It's pretty, she'll give her stepmom that, but it's also emotionless and cold, and that's enough to get her to want to leave.

She actually considers heading off to the Christmas festival, but she thinks for it to be remotely bearable, she'd probably need to be slightly intoxicated. Her father wouldn't take kindly to her opening a few of their drinks though, so her next best option is to drag Percy along which is only probably a bad idea. It's also the only idea she has, so she's quick to get dressed and walk the familiar path to the bookstore.

Annabeth isn't sure if the involuntary trembling is from the cold or hesitance to see Percy again so soon, but she continues walking the snow-ridden sidewalk filled with more people trying to beat the early sunset.

She tries to ignore the guilt that bubbles up in her throat for going back to see him. She hadn't heard from him since she saw him, and it's not like it had been a long time, but for him to know she's around and still not say anything stings. All she knows is that she wants to see him.

When she walks into the bookstore, he notices her immediately. The door chimes above her head, laced with red and green bells which give her away, and she finds him standing behind the counter with someone he doesn't recognize, both of them staring right at her.

"Hi," he says with a confused smile. "You're back."

She feels awkward, the other girl's eyes still on her, but she works her way to the counter. Percy says something to the girl quietly and she leaves before he turns back to her. Neither of them say anything for a moment, his eyes tracing over her face, and then he asks, "Did you need help finding a book, or is there something else on your mind?"

There's humor lining his face, and it fits him. His green eyes sparkle, and he's wearing a white button-down with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, the first button undone, and he looks so warm she wants to walk into his arms and never leave. But his arms aren't hers, and she already made the decision to leave long ago, so she bites her lip.

Annabeth smiles sweetly. "I need a favor."

"I'm slightly concerned."

"It's not bad," she promises.

"What is it?"

"You said you wanted to do something before I left. I heard there's some sort of festival, and I want to go look around, but I also don't want to go alone."

Percy laughs in her face. "Fat chance."

"Piper said a lot of people from high school would be there."

"Piper lied," he says. "Only the mentally unstable show up. Out of everything to do, that is the one I would tell you to stay away from."

Annabeth snickers, and for a second, it's like nothing changed. "Please?"

"You…you do hear yourself? People from high school? You want to see Drew Tanaka?"

"I want to rub in her face how much better I'm doing than her."

Percy rolls his eyes. "Oh, so you're one of them."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You really want to go to that?

"I mean, kind of."

Percy looks pained. "When is it?"

"Now."

"Perfect," he drawls, looking at his watch. "I won't have time to bang my head into a wall and pray I don't remember this experience."

Annabeth's smile falters. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I just thought that it's been a while, and you're the only person I know, and—"

Percy reaches a hand across the counter to stop her. "Annabeth, it's fine. I don't mind."

"You want to go?"

"Not really," he says, pulling away, "but because it's your first time home, I'll put up with it."

"When can we go?"

"Give me five minutes. I'll have Rachel take over."

It's only when she hears the name that she recognizes who the girl behind the counter had been. They ran the same circles in the past, but they had never spoken. She wasn't aware Percy had spoken to her either.

Annabeth uses the five minutes to play with the cat she found hiding behind the children's book section. She murmurs sweet nothings to Maisie, realizing how much she had missed this cat, before Percy's hovering behind her. She doesn't notice immediately because he's quiet, watching her with a fond smile, but then he catches Maisie's attention, and that causes her to turn her head.

He's put on a black coat, and his hands are stuffed into his pockets while he waits. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?" she counters, wincing when she stands from the ache after pressing her knees into the floor. "You don't look too thrilled."

"Because I know how horrible this is going to be."

"It can't be that bad."

"I know you've been gone a while, but I've been here the whole time." He holds open the door for her, and the cold hits her like a brick wall. He follows her out, and they walk side by side. "Those who were lucky enough to get out got out, but the rest of us were stuck here with our graduating class. We're all, what, twenty-four? Twenty-five? But it's like they never aged once they hit eighteen, I swear to god."

"And by they, you mean…?"

"Drew," he nods. "The rest of them, too. Lacy? I think that was her name."

"Lacy was so sweet!"

Percy hums in disagreement. "We must have met two different girls. At best, she's complaisant, which isn't any better. Anyway, if you see them, which you probably will, be prepared for them to act like dicks."

"Why would they?"

He shrugs, and he's not looking at her. "You got out and they didn't. That's enough for them."

"You didn't get out. Are you going to hurt me too?"

"I couldn't if I tried."

She tries not to read too far into that.

The festival is less of a festival and more of a bunch of families standing around little booths in the middle of a courtyard. It's cute, she must admit, the handcrafted decorations and children running around blissfully unaware of the future to come. It's also crowded for it being nearly four in the afternoon, but there's not much else to do as she learned on her own growing up here, so she gets it. She takes in the warm lights and the few flakes of snow falling from the sky, and reminisces about her teenage years with the high schoolers wandering in groups with their friends.

She'd never been once to wander in groups like that. It's not that she hadn't wanted to, but her father was strict and didn't let her out too often, and even when she did go out, it was usually with Percy or Piper. She liked it like that, though, because there's something incredibly intimate about spending time with the people you love.

Percy leans in to whisper, "Are you okay?"

"There are a lot of people here."

He looks around. "There's not much to do other than talk or drink."

"Like hot chocolate or straight vodka?"

"Both? I'm sure I could find someone if you really wanted it."

Annabeth sidesteps a stray toddler. "What are we supposed to do?"

"You tell me," he laughs. "I'm only here because you are. Otherwise I would've holed myself up in my bookstore."

"Do you really never go out? Who are your friends?"

"That damn cat," he says. "Better company, too."

Annabeth almost moves out to shove his shoulder before she pauses and retracts the thought.

"We can walk around the shops," he proposes, oblivious.

"I feel bad now," she says. "I don't know what I want to do."

Well. It's a bit of a lie.

She's bored, which was her main reason for coming here. She also has a habit of messing with people when she's bored, so she would be lying if she said she wasn't actively seeking Drew out. She's also actively avoiding Drew, somehow, because the girl scares her. But it would be funny.

Percy was always good at dealing with her mischievous boredom, so he laughs and gently wraps his hand around her wrist. "Come on."

He leads her to one of the small antique shops along the side of the brick roads, but not before stopping and forcing a hot chocolate into her hands. It's true to its name, burning her tongue upon the first sip, so she keeps it to warm her hands instead, running her tongue along the roof of her mouth, focusing on the rough numb feeling that takes over. She's not so sure they're allowed to have drinks inside, so she hides it from the view of the shop owner as they duck inside.

Her cheeks immediately burn from the blasting heat. She wipes at her nose, following Percy around the store with her cup clutched between her gloved hands.

"What is this place?" she asks, peeking over his shoulder.

"Lots of handmade stuff," he says, fingers running along a table. This table is long, a winter themed banner running down it with jewelry sprawled along the top of it. It's all so delicate, thin chains of gold for necklaces and dainty jeweled rings. She picks up a necklace with a tiny silver Christmas tree charm.

"I bought my mom's Christmas present from here," he tells her. "They're a bit expensive, though."

"Oh my god," she breathes, "Sally! How is she?"

"She's doing well! I know she misses having you around to talk lit."

"I've missed her," Annabeth says.

"She told me to tell you that you're obligated to come for dinner before you leave."

"I might have to," she agrees. "And Estelle?"

"A fiend. Can't begin to fathom why my mom would have a kid eighteen years after me, but hey."

"It's that bad?" she inquires, amused.

"I love her, but if my mom thought I was a bad kid, she's in for a treat."

"She was a baby last I saw her."

"The smallest," Percy says. "People thought she was mine. I think I heard a rumor about how you had a baby and ditched, leaving me stuck here. It was mortifying."

Annabeth snorts, but she doesn't say anything else, instead bringing the necklace closer to her eyes. The charm is small, but she can see the individual green gems lining the tree next to a second charm disguised as a red jeweled present.

"Do you like that one?"

"It's cute," she says, glancing at the price tag. "And expensive."

"Most things are," he says, grabbing the necklace from her hands. He focuses on the charms. "So were you."

"Me?"

"When we dated, you were the most expensive person. I don't think I told you, but I did have to pay for those books you took."

Annabeth's jaw drops. "You're kidding."

He hums, turning the chain in his fingers absentmindedly. "I'm not. I didn't mind, though. The books were put to good use, at least."

"I'll pay you back."

He looks at her now, a lopsided smile on his face. "No. I was happy to do it."

If Annabeth wasn't already warm, that would've done it. He shouldn't be able to turn her cheeks rosy in the way that he can. She has to remind herself to steer away from the rose colored vision. She can't stay here forever.

"I don't make enough for this," she says, taking the necklace from him and putting it back. "Let's go."

They wind up walking along the road, weaving in and out of the crowd aimlessly. It's nice being able to exist without having to worry about anything, and it's something she's not used to. It's odd how she feels so in place walking by his side, content in a way she never was in LA. It's not until fifteen minutes later that Percy nudges her elbow and says sarcastically, "It's your best friend."

She follows his gaze and finds Drew staring right back at her. It's kind of exactly what Annabeth had been seeking out, but she also feels like a flea in Drew's gaze. Drew's certainly looking at her like she's going to catch fleas.

She's accompanied by Lacy, which is a given, but also two other people she recognizes. Lee Fletcher and Michael Yew are significantly more pleasant to be around, and she's not sure what pleasure they find in being around Tanaka, but she supposes that's not her business.

"Annabeth!" Lee says brightly as they approach. "I didn't know you were in town this year!"

"I flew in a few days ago," she says smiling. "I barely knew I was coming myself."

"Is this your first time back?"

"Since I left," she says.

"You were in LA, right?"

"I was," she smiles at the other guy. "Hi, Michael."

"Hey, Chase. Enjoying the festival?"

"It's nice."

"My family put it on this year."

Percy whispers in her ear, "Nepotism."

So there may have been a tension between Percy and Yew that started sophomore year. Something about Percy almost killing Yew.

"It's great," she says. She eyes Drew and Lacy feverishly. "It's been a while."

"A long time," Drew agrees, eyeing her up and down. "So funny seeing you here after so many years. Especially in Percy's company."

"It's funny seeing you here," Annabeth retorts. "Would've thought you'd have, I don't know, done something with your life by now. Guess we're all surprised."

"I've done plenty with my life. I'm an author now."

"Oh, really? What do you write?"

Drew preens. "I run a blog."

Annabeth blinks. "That's…not writing."

"It is," Drew explains, brushing her hair aside. "I took a writing course and my teacher said I was the best he's seen."

"What's a simile?"

"Bless you."

Annabeth smiles. "You're bright as an eel."

"I'm sorry?"

"Simile," she assures.

Annabeth is ninety percent sure it does right over Drew's head when Drew says, "Aside from writing, my life is going well. I'm engaged now." She holds up her left hand to give her a look at the ring, and it's cute, but Annabeth has doubts about the legitimacy of the diamond.

Annabeth holds a hand over her heart. "That's so sweet."

Being engaged to Drew is nothing short of what she'd imagine living in hell is like. She can't imagine a world where Drew would be happy waking up next to a husband, or happy with anything in general. She complains so much, and is generally a prickly person to be around. She's too busy playing dress up with mock designer clothes as though anyone would believe the pieces are authentic when she's still living here. The clothes could fool Annabeth, though, because that Gucci belt certainly looks real to her, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't look good on the girl. It accentuates her hips in the black jeans that somehow always seem to frame her perfectly, and it shines like her hair, which looks really soft, and—

What was she saying?

"Annabeth," Drew says, snagging her attention away from the belt, "I'm so glad you think so. I figured you might be a bit sensitive to seeing other people happy after recent events, but I'm glad you're putting your own problems aside."

"I'm sorry?"

"Your engagement," Drew clarifies.

There's something in the way she says it that tells Annabeth she meant for it to hurt. Drew's eyes dart towards Percy as though gauging his reaction, as though any mention of what would've been her fiancé would have him crumbling to bits like she's leaving him all over again. Percy stands at her side, idle, and she can't look at him. Lacy seems to be stifling a grin, and Tanaka's not even trying to hide it. Lee and Fletcher at least have the decency to look uncomfortable, but none of it matters.

For a split moment, Annabeth considers dumping the contents of the hot chocolate in her hands down the front of Drew's blouse.

"I'm fine, honestly. I wouldn't want to have my entire personality built around being engaged, but I think it's great that you do."

"If you're not sensitive about it, then I think we all have a few questions to ask," Drew says innocently. "Why'd you break up?"

"Drew," Percy warns, taking a step towards her. "Stop."

"It's just a question," she assures, hands up in defense. "We're all curious."

Annabeth sips her drink. "He found out I fucked your dad."

It's not what Drew is expecting, and from the way Percy chokes on air, it's definitely not what he was expecting either.

Drew looks mildly offended, and Annabeth pours salt in the wound by scrunching her nose in a smile.

The group stands for a bit, no one moving, and then Lee Fletcher grabs Drew's hand—looks like he's the unlucky one—and leads her away. The other two follow, and at least Lacy waves goodbye to Percy and Annabeth with a genuine smile on her face. Michael gives an awkward wave, but that's probably more to do with the near murder incident than what just unfolded, so Annabeth doesn't take it personally.

Once Percy and Annabeth are alone, he turns to her expectantly. When she says nothing, he asks, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm sorry," he says. "She shouldn't have said that."

"I'm alright," she promises. "Nothing that comes from her mouth is serious."

"It was uncalled for."

"I'm used to it with her," she snickers, turning to face him now. "I guess I got what I wanted coming here."

"And what was that?" he asks, bemused.

"Vengeance," she whispers.

Percy snorts. "Got your ass handed to you, too."

Annabeth gasps. "I did not!"

"Just a tiny bit," he laughs, nudging her shoulder. "Come on. Let's go before she comes back for round two."

Annabeth obliges, but not before insisting, "I did not get my ass handed to me."

They end up hanging around a bit longer as the sun fades into the sky, and they get to watch the Christmas lights appear before they head out. Once they do, they're quiet, leaving Annabeth to think over the things Drew said.

It stings a little, remembering Connor's face when she had no choice but to say no, so she instead focuses on how Drew called herself a writer. She figures a little amusement could go a long way. She doubts Drew is actually a writer, at least not to the degree Annabeth is, but she also wouldn't put it past her to try, if only to piss Annabeth off.

"I thought they'd get better after high school," Annabeth says suddenly.

"Drew?" Percy kicks a pebble at his feet, and it lands a few yards ahead in the snow. "What world are you living in?"

"Delusion, apparently."

The world is filled with delusion. It's amazing how so many people have been in her life, if only in passing, and how few actually matter. People come and go, too focused on their own lives. Relationships fade, and it's a bit sad, but it's also the truth.

"She doesn't matter, does she?"

"Who?"

"Drew."

Percy shakes his head.

"She's just somebody who will write books about me if I ever make it," Annabeth says. "Why do I care what she says?"

"You're letting her into your head," Percy says. "Don't."

She tries to push the thoughts from her head. Instead, she'll focus on him.

"I have a question for you."

"Go ahead."

"That girl in the bookstore," she begins. "Who is she?"

"Rachel? Just a friend."

"Hm."

He gives her a knowing look.

"What?"

"No other questions there?"

"Well…was she always just a friend?"

Annabeth knows she doesn't have a right to question this, but Percy's always let her get away with more than she should. He lets her get away with this too.

"For the most part," he answers. "We kissed once and it was about as awful as you could imagine."

It floods her mind with other questions because it's been six years and if he kissed one person, he's probably kissed others. If he's kissed others, he's probably done more. She wants to know who he's kissed and worse.

The sun is down, and the lampposts are on. They approach a familiar one, and she knows that this is where the paths to their homes differ. This just also happens to be the lamppost that they used to kiss goodbye under, and it's not the most pleasant memory, but she supposes there are worse things to know.

"Should I walk you home?"

She knows he's not going to.

"I'll be alright," she says. "Thanks for coming so last minute. Sorry you had to witness…that."

Percy smirks and shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat. She does the same. "Thank you for providing some entertainment in this town."

Annabeth rolls her eyes.

"I'll see you around, Chase."

The way he says her name feels far from intimate. It almost hurts because she knows he calls his friends by their last names sometimes, but she used to never be just his friend.

She's never done well with change.

"Text me next time," he adds. "You don't need to walk through the cold. Don't be a stranger."

Friends are better than strangers, so she smiles. "Okay."

He begins to back up, but he eyes her softly like he has something he wants to say. She's missed his gentle presence, the comfort of knowing he'll always be there for her. He was never the type to yell, and she always marveled about how patient and kind and beautiful he was in a world that seemed to bring out the worst in people.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

Annabeth furrows her brows. "For what?"

"Your engagement."

He eyes her carefully, and he seems genuinely upset for her. She'll never understand how someone could do to him what she did and have him still look at her like she's the only thing that matters.

She wants to tell him everything, but she doesn't think it's fair for him to have to listen to her speak about someone else.

A lump settles in her throat, and she tries to breathe through it, but it won't go away. She's trembling a bit because it's terrifying, acknowledging where she's been in front of the person she fell in love with when she was younger.

"It wasn't your fault."

He takes another step back. The distance between them seems to span light years.

He locks eyes with her.

"I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love."