A dedication goes out to holysmotez, Final Heaven Discord member and Ao3 writer, for a line about destiny in one of their fics (On The Way To Kalm). The Whispers won't be appearing in this story, because they're not really relevant, but the whole concept of defying destiny in Remake really bugged me. I kinda have a better idea now of how things might fit together.

Chapter 34. December 14 (PM) – December 15, εуλ0007

The sky breathed far above her, an open vista of blue and possibilities. Terrifying, exhilarating, all in equal measure. Stuck in immanence for so long, her life bounded by the walls of Midgar and the leash the Turks allowed her, the idea that she might have any say in her destiny continued to elude the grasp of Aerith's mind.

As Midgar, the only home she'd ever known, began to recede in the distance, green began to make an appearance - not unlike the homecoming she always felt when returning to Sector Five – her flowers always greeting her with their peaceful welcome, as she reached the familiar door of the cottage she shared with her mother. The earth's comfort seemed to be reaching for her once again, letting her know the journey might not be what she feared. She'd felt adrift in the hours through the wastes, desperately homesick, but now… it made her feel slowly, imperceptibly stronger.

She looked forward to Cloud, another being, like herself, made both of possibilities and mysteries. He wasn't the one – not the man who had promised to one day show her the sky – but that man had disappeared, leaving this reticent replacement. Still – this new world wasn't as disconcerting as it might have been, had she been forced to face this all alone.

On her right, Tifa, her other warmly-held companion. The others, she was still getting to know, but there was the shared womanhood that brought the two of them close immediately.

She worried she hadn't done permanent damage to that bond.

It was something she'd have to tackle eventually, hoping her careless slip wouldn't bear bitter fruit. Taking a deep breath, she approached, not failing to notice that Tifa's eyes were resting on the same direction as she herself had just been looking.

"He feels… familiar to me," she began; Tifa jumped, startled by Aerith's approach. "It must be something about SOLDIER. The way they carry themselves." If only Aerith could believe that was ALL it was about. The red flag – that sword, something Zack gained from death and wouldn't have given it up unless he himself… a train of thought leading to conclusions that, even more than the sky reminiscent of his eyes, she was afraid to face.

Tifa's attention was on her now, thought Aerith doubted the other woman even realized how often her eyes darted back to Cloud, concern as much as affection for the man bridging the two women together. "I guess," Tifa replied. "I haven't exactly met a lot of SOLDIERs before him."

Except Sephiroth, Tifa thought. And… that other one. Somehow not wanting to even think his name. One killed – or so she had thought – the other just… lost.

"I've met some," Aerith answered vaguely, waving her hand breezily, dismissive. "Shinra tries to make them into weapons. But… some of them have told me… they want to be protectors. Heroes."

"Sounds like Shinra doesn't give them much of a chance to do that," Tifa replied dryly.

True that, Aerith thought. How disillusioned Zack had become. How it had hurt her to watch his dreams shrivel and die. Perhaps Cloud followed the wiser path, sheltering himself inside invisible emotional armor. "But… they COULD be."

Zack… he had been her joy, he safety; she'd had nothing to fear from him. Cloud drew her in a way that was in some ways the same but a part that was uniquely him; she found herself, wanting to lead him, care for him.

Which side meant love?

And if it wasn't… did it have to mean EVERYTHING to mean SOMETHING?

Her last words still hanging in the air, Aerith decided to push just a little bit further. "He makes me feel… safe."

For a moment, Tifa's eyes grew distant; Aerith wondered what in her past she was reaching back for. So much of Tifa unknown, intriguing; she reminded herself there would be plenty of time for them to get acquainted, on the long unknown road ahead. She wanted not just to know Tifa, but find out what she knew about Cloud… Tifa was the one who could gently nudge and alter Cloud's path. Tifa held a part of Cloud – a part she couldn't touch, and that was nothing she could overcome.

"Me, too," Tifa finally answered.

Tifa felt an involuntary splash of jealousy – right afterward, berating herself for the sentiment. She had Cloud's promise, but it was not only she he was exclusively bound to rescue – the welfare of the whole team was on his short-statured shoulders now. Nor would she want him otherwise. She trusted him with the welfare of her family both old and new – Marlene, too, the thought came to her, a second-degree protection Cloud fulfilled by bringing Barret and Tifa safely home. So where did this come from?

Cloud was a man, and Tifa wasn't blind, and Aerith was only human as well. Aerith's lighthearted flirtation, a skill Tifa so sorely lacked – and she saw how it made Cloud brighten, reacting to Aerith's light in a manner Tifa didn't evoke in him. Perhaps it was nothing, or - Was Aerith seeing the same things in Cloud she did? Was it truly Cloud Tifa saw, or was she just fooling herself with illusions of safety and home he offered?

Was she even GOOD for him – or was she selfishly thinking of herself?

If it came down to it…

...what if it turned out the best thing for Cloud was to let him go?

Gloomy thoughts, for a voyage that should be starting with hope.

She'd accepted that her destiny lay in Midgar, but that had come to a literal and figurative dead end; and she wondered what that destiny might have been had she stayed. Did that option even remain?

Now leaving once again, she found herself just as terrified as Aerith of the heavens cupped like a giant bowl over them, imprisoning whatever lay ahead, underneath it.

Cloud fixed on the road before them, thinking, thinking. At his side, Barret fretted like a mother hen over Marlene, regretting having to leave her and pumped for the fight ahead, often all in the same breath.

Cloud ignored it as long as he could, finally shushing the other man. "Barret. Marlene will be fine." Reluctant as he had been to take up the mantle of leader, he knew he was the logical choice; Barret's black-and-white view wasn't what the group needed to lead them forward.

Black and white simply weren't all that clear anymore. He'd been the enemy. He should know.

That thought led him to consider his other companions. Red seemed an enigma, but really was the least complicated of any of them; well-spoken, logical, remarkably free of human idiosyncrasies. And the women…

Both so different from each other. Both so confusing.

Aerith… she sparked something he didn't know existed – and he couldn't help being charmed. Her strange pronouncement in that dream. Do I get a say in this, he'd responded, wondering if he had any control over his future; Aerith's mystery disarming him, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable.

But Tifa's quiet validation made him uncertain in a different way. The way she saw him, unnervingly accurate – she had the benefit of knowing him way back when, and there was no fooling her.

Two women. Two chances to be a hero.

The word love, he nervously pushed out of his head.

And behind even that – the eerie voice, echoing in the recesses of his head. I'm waiting, Cloud,it had told him as they stood at the edge of their future – and as he looked to Aerith, hoping she might have some answers, she had only tipped her head, questioning. For the first time, he'd felt distinctly two pulls, wondering if they would tug him apart.

"You okay there, Spikey?" Barret burst into his musings.

"Ok. Just thinking." Barret looked unconvinced, but let the matter drop. Red merely sniffed, giving no hint to his own thoughts about the strange creatures that were humans.

He knew Cloud was right. He knew Marlene was safe – way safer than she'd be with him right now, for certain. But that didn't make it easier. He'd caught Elmyra's glance when she'd told them Aerith was not her daughter by blood – the woman knew. Love was more than just blood.

Red loped easily with them, around them. What's with you? Barret wondered. What is your home like? Do you have a family that you're going back to?

Red volunteered no new information, and Barret didn't ask.

Tifa listened, disconcerted, as Cloud told his story. It was the first time she had heard this version of events, and now she was regretting not prying him for it earlier. Barret had started it, digging at Cloud for who was Sephiroth, and as the whole convoluted narrative came to light, he interrupted over and over; meanwhile Tifa silently pondered, trying to find an explanation for what Cloud was telling them.

She should have questioned more, that day she found him at the train station – things he shouldn't have known, things he should have known and didn't - but now she realized it was worse than she had assumed. He really thinks he was there… how could that be? It couldn't have happened that way, it just couldn't! Tifa wished dearly she didn't sound so much like she was trying to convince herself.

"I don't remember killing him," Cloud finally finished with a nonchalant shrug. "It just kind of… stops there. I mean, I shouldn't have survived. Not against Sephiroth."

"I shouldn't have either," Tifa added. "But all the papers reported him killed…" She'd had her reasons, she remembered, to check the papers faithfully those first few months getting settled – but, she reminded herself, it was for the purpose of finding news of Cloud. It was only a gleeful bonus that she had read of the general's demise, while she was still there alive against all odds.

As she always did when thinking of that day, she automatically reached up to between her breasts, where a razor-lined scar should have bled her life away.

"Well, shit. Who knows what really happened, then?" Barret loud-mouthed. "Wouldn't exactly be the first time the news was nothing but Shinra lies."

Seemed there was at least one person who wasn't convinced, either. "You didn't say much," Aerith observed, as the males filed out, expression somewhere between sympathy and suspicion, an uncomfortable combination to see on the face of a friend.

"There wasn't much to add," Tifa hedged. Aerith narrowed her eyes, but said nothing.

"Why did you nominate him for leader?" Tifa suddenly asked, desperate to change the subject.

"You don't approve?" Aerith replied.

"No, it's not that, I just…." Tifa realized that there really wasn't anything to add to the end of that statement. Cloud was indeed the best choice for the role. Everyone else, including herself, was lacking in one respect or another. Cloud was the one that could be counted on to hold them together.

Aerith didn't much care to explain her reasoning either, leaving it hanging, the question understood to be closed. It was that same touchy subject… Safe. Something she'd been so desperate to feel that she found it muddling her head. In any case, she wondered if she'd really found any safety at all, even free of Midgar. All the while Cloud had been talking, she'd been asking herself, why did Sephiroth think he was an Ancient? What lies had Shinra told the general to lead him to that conclusion, ultimately precipitating the madness that lead to Nibelheim's destruction – and possibly further yet?

The Planet spoke to her in whispers of feeling rather than words, images and sensations left to her to identify. Bits and pieces creeping into her awareness, but overriding it all, the fundamental sense of wrongness she'd felt emanating from that man, potent even in that one brief instant that they'd seen him in the Shinra building.

Yellow flowers crumbling before him…

Her heart went out to Cloud, a fellow lost soul in search of the truth – and she wasn't the one who had it for him. For now, she'd wait and watch…

Tseng stood at the exit to the Mythril Mines, looking down on the small troupe, the ones now replacing him as protectors of his charge. Or, to be more accurate, the one who was replacing him.

Rude and Elena, poised, awaiting the signal to take the group in, not knowing that order would not be forthcoming. Cloud, a mixed blessing. Tseng was… mostly sure Aerith was safe with the man - though too many unknowns still troubled him. Most notably the sea change in the man's personality. Whatever had brought him up to SOLDIER standards… could he hang onto his humanity as Zack did?

Cloud had been first deemed unsuited for SOLDIER, but right before Nibelheim… Tseng had Cissnei's brief, the assessment of his potential early on. Assigned more responsibility, Cloud had been sent to Modeoheim, proving himself and befriending Zack Fair. Culminating in those last reports – how close Cloud had been to ready… and then…

Somehow, Cloud had reached his goal, by a traceroute unknown - and Tseng had little hope any of it was good.

"Well, Aerith, it looks like we won't be seeing each other for a while," he told the young woman he'd watched grow up – not a parent, but a guardian nevertheless. And like all guardians, there came a time to let his charge go. He wanted to memorize Aerith's face, allowing himself a little sentimentality.

It was only his personal side that felt regretful; from all other standpoints, he was nothing but grateful that Shinra's interest would be sidetracked for a while, that Rufus had spotted more fertile ground for pursuit. He still didn't understand the President's cryptic decision, why the sudden turnabout, why Rufus was so sure; but it was not his place to question, merely glad it happened to coincide with his own interests.

Every day she remains free is another small victory. Was he finally free of this burden?

"Tseng…" Aerith didn't know what to say. I thought of asking for his help leaving Midgar, she remembered, five years before… when she had a different reason to escape. Strange how things should work out. Now, through a sequence of events she never could have predicted, she found him abetting her departure after all. She was scared to ask, but forced the words out anyway. "Isn't Shinra interested in me anymore?" Could I really be so lucky?

For a moment, she wasn't sure he was going to answer, if her old protector would wave her off with a vague statement or nothing more than an unreadable glance. "The President…" Tseng began, haltingly.

"He wants to go search for Sephiroth instead. Sephiroth will lead us to the Promised Land!" announced the new Turk, the blond. Tseng looked over, pained exasperation, although part of the man seemed almost… indulgent? as well. Aerith couldn't help but wonder. Not so curious, though, that she wanted to stick around.

She glanced back to Cloud, who hadn't broken his gaze away from the Turks since they'd first run into each other, the ex-SOLDIER poised to fight through this obstacle on their journey, had the need arose. But it seemed now - it hadn't. Zack… she'd counted on him to be a buffer between her and Shinra; now Cloud was taking up the metaphorical sword. And literal, if some of her suspicions were correct.

Tseng wanted to scold Elena for her big mouth; but really, what harm did it do now? He hadn't exactly been enthusiastic about Aerith joining up with AVALANCHE, a side dish served up along with Cloud; but Barret's little splinter cell was broken, hardly worth mentioning as far as Shinra was concerned. This last remnant was going after Sephiroth as well, placing them at least nominally on the same side; Tseng wondered how that might play out.

"Perhaps, Aerith, we'll be able to experience this joyful reunion once again." His voice was so flat that Aerith could not discern the sincerity of the Turk's words. But, as Cloud visibly relaxed beside her, she supposed it little mattered. The Turks no longer meant to impede her path.

She was free…

"So, which one are you sleeping with?"

Cloud groaned inwardly. Not even to Junon yet, and he was already regretting allowing Yuffie to come along. He'd been listening to her for what must it have been, weeks?

Hours.

"Oh, no!" the girl groaned. "You're doing BOTH of them, aren't you? That's a perfectly good friendship you're ruining there, you know?" Indeed, yards away, Tifa and Aerith were talking easily, animatedly. Cheerfully. Which, Cloud thought, was a sure guarantee that they were talking about something other than him. "That is SO not cool, you know? You really think they are not going to find out? And then there'll be a big old catfight in our camp, you know? That's a lot of hair to pull between them."

"Yuffie," he cautioned. What DID women talk about for so long? Clothes? The weather? He realized he had absolutely no idea.

"Oh, I get it! You guys already worked it out, huh. You have one of those polyamorous arrangements, right? I mean that's cool that you are all so open minded and stuff – "

"YUFFIE." Stronger this time. Perhaps the answer to women was locked deep away in those years of missing memories. Then again, it was far more likely that he had never had a clue to begin with.

"- but how do you work it out? I mean, do you trade off nights or something? Or do you guys just like to have, like, threesomes instead? But how does that even work, when you're the only guy and you have only one – "

"YUFFIE!" Cloud yelled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw both Tifa's and Aerith's heads turn, but only for a moment, before they returned back to talking about shopping or whatever. "I. Am. Not. Sleeping. With. Either. Not together, not separately, not either one. Got it?"

"Oh." Yuffie looked disappointed, then suddenly brightened. "So what you're saying is you're available?"

Cloud merely threw up his hands and walked away.

Tifa and Aerith had both been startled by the outburst, but neither gave it much thought. "Whatever," Aerith shrugged. "She's a teenager. We've got to expect that."

"I'm not too sure of that. I never got to be too much of one." Did she regret that luxury, or was she a better person for it? Tifa found her experiences bittersweet. "I had to make my way alone in Midgar at that age."

"She'd traveled halfway across the world. You'd think that would grow her up some." Aerith sniffed. "So, um, you've been in Midgar long?"

"Five years. " A silence, and Aerith thought that might be all Tifa planned to say. The other woman shifted uncomfortably. "But… I guess I kinda got used to being more on my own, after my mother died."

Her mother… "I'm sorry to hear that," Aerith replied gently. "May I ask… how old were you?"

"I was seven," Tifa said in a small voice.

Aerith's heart went out to her. "I was… the same age when my mom died," she offered. "My real mother, I mean."

"Yeah… she was an Ancient too, right?" Aerith nodded. "Your mother told us… well, that you were adopted."

"I was." Aerith didn't know if she was ready to explain the why and how; Tifa didn't press. "So, yeah, I guess I understand… that was how, um, I ended up in Midgar. I've been there ever since." Until now.

Tifa laughed, irony over humor. "So, we both ended up losing our mothers, and we both ended up in Midgar. Kind of funny, huh?" She shook her head regretfully. "I'm glad you at least have Elmyra… even if she can never replace your first mother."

You have no idea how close you're hitting to home, Tifa. "I'm… very grateful," she began carefully. "I mean… I don't think I could love Elmyra less than my real mother. Plus I know her a lot better – just because I was older. There's no reason I should be sorry that she's my mom now," Aerith finished the last words breathlessly, wanting to barrel through them and the pain they caused her.

She was jealous of Tifa in so many ways; not just for what she'd lost, and Tifa, gained. She envied the other woman her strength, her imperfections; the character she'd forged on her own, surviving without a shield in the slums – and Aerith knew as much as anyone, how the undercity could chew you up and spit you out. Tifa had earned the scars she bore, the ones she tried to hide inside, but to Aerith's eyes, shone through. While she herself had been sheltered, to some degree naïve still, growing and changing little except what was absolutely forced on her; counting on Zack to hide her heritage behind, without ever working out how that could be done.

Because, now she knew, it couldn't be done. She would be a Cetra wherever she went.

Cloud, she thought. Another helpless to be anything other than what he was – broken pieces waiting to be put together. Something Aerith was just starting to understand. Shouldn't TIFA know who he really is? Angrily, she found herself to some degree resentful of the other woman, wondering what she might be holding back. Things Cloud had a right to know, to heal the man broken like Aerith herself, while Tifa kept her secrets locked away.

She wished she could be the one to put Cloud back together, she really did; but she didn't have the access key Tifa did, would never be able to get into Cloud's heart completely.

They shared the bond, wanting what was best for him. WHO was best for him.

If Tifa ever let her whole heart show to Cloud...

…Aerith knew she herself would never stand a chance.

She saw Tifa staring at her, waiting expectantly; she contemplated what she saw in the other woman's eyes. Fear. Insecurity. Jealousy, even; perhaps of Aerith's perceived innocence, not knowing her secret hurts.

Suddenly, she was desperate to change the subject.

"So. Five years. That's a while." How little, or how much, could happen in that time. "I'm surprised we never ran into each other before."

"Yeah, no kidding. Easy to get stuck in your own sector," Tifa replied. "I would have liked to have bought your flowers. You know, fill up the bar with them."

"Right, that would have been nice. You had such a cute little place, even though I only saw it, like, the once…." Aerith finished lamely, desperately backpedaling when she saw the look of worry on Tifa's face. Reassuring, she laid one calm hand on the other woman's arm. "She'll be okay, Tifa. Like I told Barret, my mom was ready to leave Midgar anyway. I think she was tired of worrying about me so much. I think she'll probably end up going to Kalm. I didn't want to say anything to Barret, because, you know, he'd want to wait, and then…"

"- yeah, we don't have that kind of time. And it's too risky besides," Tifa finished for her. "Believe me, I know. Barret loses all sense around his daughter. He's wrapped around her little finger for sure."

Aerith still had some trouble seeing the hot-tempered man that way, but she was coming around; besides, she trusted Tifa's good judgment. You just never know until you really get to know someone, she told herself, wondering how on earth Barret had ever cared for a baby with one hand.

Speaking of…

Hearing Barret calling them back to camp, the two women rose together. It was almost time for dinner, anyway. "So, you cook?" Aerith asked Tifa, interested. "That's great. I can't even boil water…"

"Have you tried fire materia?" Aerith stared at Tifa in surprise; then a sly grin slipped across the other woman's face, and Aerith realized she was teasing. Their laughter lifted into the air, preceding them as they returned towards their camp.

Marlene stood on her tiptoes, reaching to tip the watering can into the vase of yellow lilies. The first flower rested proudly in the center, brought impressively back to full bloom under Marlene's care; Elmyra couldn't help but admire her dedication, even as the child knew they would be leaving soon. Trusting the flowers to take care of themselves in her absence.

For Aerith's sake, Elmyra hoped they would.

"You're so sweet to worry about the flowers," she had told the girl.

Marlene had stopped, thoughtfully putting her thumb in her mouth, a faraway look in her eyes; for a moment, she looked far more ancient than her four years. "I saw it," she said, "in that white ball. The glowing one, the one the flower girl let me hold."

The White Materia. It made sense, actually.

The girl had brought back a half dozen duplicates from the garden, happily announcing the flower needed "friends". At first Elmyra had treated it as typical childhood imagination; but then, she had seen Marlene in the garden, talking to the field of blooms with the same dedicated intensity with which Aerith had done the same over the years. Funny, she'd never really thought to ask Aerith what she got back out of those "conversations". But now, seeing Marlene doing the same… she wished she had.

Elmyra had been packing all day, but took a break to watch the little girl from the hallway, tenderness filling her own heart. She was looking at the flowers as one drop of moisture traveled down a petal, dripping to the floor; and too her surprise, Marlene turned, with a sudden gasp of "Daddy?"

Heartbreaking. She wondered what had so suddenly drawn the child's attention. "You'll see him soon," she assured the little girl, stepping into the room. Marlene looked up at her, trusting; she softly brushed her hair back from her face. "But now, we've gotta get ready to go too."

She'd spent the day packing, preparing the house for lockup; wondering when, if ever, she would be back. Surprising, really, how many things you can leave behind. Beyond the basic clothing and supplies, there were a few mementoes of her husband, of Aerith's childhood, that she wouldn't leave behind. She packed up some of Aerith's old clothes, sizing up Marlene – she was a little big for her age, perhaps soon Marlene would have the chance to wear those clothes herself. Elmyra cherished the idea – like experiencing her own little girl's childhood all over again.

The chocobo carriage driver hoisted up the suitcases, as Elmyra gave him the address of an inn she knew in Kalm. They'd find something more permanent there soon enough, but first things first. For now, she just wanted to get out of Midgar.

Her husband gone; Aerith, unlikely to return. Nothing left to make Midgar her home. Needing reassurance herself, she took Marlene's tiny hand in hers.

Their luggage, too heavy, was transported for them, but even if it hadn't been cost prohibitive, there was another reason why Elmyra wanted to travel by foot, the way most people made the journey to the nearby town. Sticking to the Shinra-patrolled highway, she didn't anticipate any danger.

The real reward came when they finally, finally, stepped outside the city gates; too soon for the air to be changed – the pollution would only begin to dissipate miles out – but one change was immediate.

Marlene raised her head straight up, gaping in awe. Her first time seeing the sky. Aerith had been so terrified; but Marlene, despite the many similarities, was not Aerith, and as she gazed forward and up, a smile lit up her entire face. And then she laughed, a sound of pure joy, catching Elmyra in its grasp as well.

She looked up to Elmyra, giving the woman's hand a squeeze. "Let's go!"