Chapter 58. August 11 - September, εуλ0008

"You love birds."

It was Barret's booming baritone that woke her up, and at her back she felt Cloud rustling as her eyes sleepily opened.

Barret was just standing there, staring in horror, and she realized her breasts had fallen out of the covers, with the rest of her intimate regions nearly exposed as well. Panicked, she yanked the blanket forward to cover her, realizing that in the process, she had exposed Cloud's bare behind to the street below.

Hurriedly, Cloud sat straight up, grabbing a corner of the blanket to save whatever he could of his pride. Barret was nonplussed, just eyeing Cloud with a crumpled frown of disapproval. "Put some pants on and get to work, boy."

"She did it too," Cloud said sullenly.

"She's the boss," Barret replied. Tifa turned to stick her tongue out at Cloud.

But Barret was right - they couldn't linger any longer. Today was the big day, after all – their efforts finally coming to fruition. Opening day, and she felt like there were a million finishing touches she'd never be able to get to – and even with Barret and Cloud happy to help, some of those were things only she could do. Hours passed by in a blur that she barely remembered until finally, with her meager set of bottles lined up and a pot of stew giving a pleasant, homey smell to the place, she realized she couldn't delay any longer. Stepping to the front door, she unlocked it, to be greeted with a mostly welcome surprise.

There was a line leading around the block. "How…" she began, to no one in particular, only to find Marlene sidling up beside her.

"I told all the kids," Marlene said proudly. "All the ones in the neighborhood. I told them all about how the old Seventh Heaven was so much fun, and they said they hadn't been having much fun, so I told them to go home and tell all their parents!" She peered past Tifa to the waiting crowd. "And they did! Look at everyone who came, Tifa!"

Marlene. Her simple charm and enthusiasm the best advertisement Tifa could ask for – especially when that was exactly what she most hoped to offer her guests. She wanted to envelope the girl in an enormous hug, but she'd have to thank her later – there was work to be done.

Barret took on the role of directing traffic, as much as he could, as faces she recognized from the neighborhood milled in to find tables and barstools. Marlene jovially took orders, proving surprisingly competent at the task, even though she could only deliver glasses one or two at a time. Tifa herself was stuck behind the bar, pulling beer s and slinging drinks just as fast as she ever had in Sector Seven, unable to break away to the kitchen – fortunately, ladling and delivering a bowl of the house special was within Cloud's capabilities. He delivered the meals with a flat, "Here you go," but no one seemed to much mind, talking and laughing as they greedily dove in to Tifa's cooking.

Maybe it wasn't just that, though. She noticed more than a few women appreciatively eyeing Cloud, his toned arms and chest quite well defined by the thin SOLDIER sweaters he continued to wear for lack of anything better. She felt a pinprick of jealousy that settled when she let herself observe a little longer, noticing Cloud seemed completely oblivious to the glances and whispers headed his way.

She accepted the goods offered in trade, jotting down notes in a ledger until Cloud, intimidated by the crowd (most of whom had now been served anyways) took over the bookkeeping. Barret ambled around, keeping the peace by sheer presence, though she encountered fewer problems than she might have expected as the powerful Corel wine began to have its effects. Most people who started to show signs of anger or belligerence were shushed by their neighbors, those who just wanted to have a good time without their evening being disrupted. But for the sake of her future business, Tifa was pleased to note that there seemed to be little enough of that element – Seventh Heaven was firmly establishing itself as a family place, with children at nearly every table. Marlene flitted around like the social butterfly she was, occasionally calling "Papa!" when she needed help bringing drinks; the big man would balance a tray in his one hand, lowering it for his daughter to cheerfully deliver yet another round.

"She's your daughter?" someone asked her.

"Yes," she replied automatically, only half-paying attention, hurrying for another order before she realized that the whole bar had seen the occasional kisses Cloud gave her in passing, and Marlene clearly didn't look like – and calling Barret Papa – ah, to hell with it. She'd worry about it later.

Cloud's kisses had been just a peck on the cheek or a brush on the lips during the rush – a trace of encouragement, a bare hint of possessiveness – but as the hours flew by in the blink of an eye, the evening eventually started to wind down, she was able to step away for a breather. Only to find Cloud following her into the back room, leaving them invisible to the crowd. She threw her arms around his neck, allowing herself to slump gratefully against him, knowing he'd be there to support her in his arms. "Happy birthday," she whispered to him, before kissing him quite thoroughly, finally able to indulge herself completely.

He gave himself completely to her lips, until finally they separated, a tad breathless. "I completely forgot," he told her.

"I didn't," she replied. "I picked the day because I thought it would be a nice present. A new life, you know? I was surprised when you didn't say anything before."

"Well, now you know why," he told her. "But you're right. It's a very good present." And he kissed her once again, slowly, loving, belying the teasing hands that were now traveling down her body, toying at the hem of her skirt. "But there's another something I'd like to unwrap later."

Tifa was exhausted, but it was hard to resist Cloud when he was being such a charming dork. "Later," she agreed. "But for now, it's time to go back to work."

The bar's business remained steady. Barret stayed close to home, in part unwilling to be separated from Marlene, but it became Cloud's job to procure supplies for the bar. He was more than willing to make the trip, but Tifa realized to her unwelcome surprise, he had no idea what to purchase – he didn't know a carrot from a gyshal green. She had opened her mouth to tease him about the fact, but clamped it abruptly shut when she realize why he knew so few things – the five years of life he'd lost, and she felt suddenly, terribly guilty. She had to remind herself once again to be patient and tolerant of Cloud's missing experiences and stunted emotional maturity – it wasn't his fault.

But she was proud that he was doing his best, even in spite of his handicaps. After being the savior of the world, she was pleased he was so willing to change to such a simple life, one where his worries were such basic things. Cloud's new life would start with vegetable names.

Nevertheless, would this be enough for him? Would he eventually feel chained, frustrated, want to move on to something bigger and better? It wasn't the easiest of lives, either, with the rewards small and meager. Cloud traveled further and further afield, coming home openly exhausted from long days of trying to fill her requests – and even though he never complained, she could see the strain.

Besides, there was Marlene.

Marlene was a child – to some degree, she had to come first. She still insisted on sharing Tifa's bed, afraid to sleep alone. But between the bar and the responsibilities of motherhood, Tifa found herself exhausted, barely able to enjoy the rare opportunities they could sneak down to the bar alone, gradually christening every corner with their intimacy.

Cloud didn't say much about the arrangement – it was the subtle differences in his touch that told her what was on his mind. A friendly, familiar touch to remind her just that he was there, and there to help. Other times, urgent need and desire, feelings she would have loved to reciprocate if she wasn't so damned tired.

She knew he was frustrated, but she felt powerless to change that.

Then there were times that his touch told her he needed closeness, never failing to make her melt. Worth every moment of lost sleep for the slower, tender, wordless coupling that reminded her that even as she gave her energy to others, she, too, was loved.

So many things he did for her – well, for them - yet she still didn't know the best way to tell him she appreciated him. What if things start going well? Is there enough here to hold him?

Am I enough?

She was afraid. She couldn't think that far ahead. It was all she could do to focus on the here and now.

Cloud, for his part, craved her with a desperation he could barely disguise. He knew she hated to impose, always hesitant in her requests – but he'd gladly go halfway around the world just to see the smile in her eyes.

Occasionally, he'd find little delicacies, things he knew Tifa wouldn't even have thought to ask for, they were so hard to find. He'd quickly learned special foods were her weakness; she'd squeal in delight at some of his offerings. Sometimes, she'd use them in cooking for Seventh Heaven; other times, he'd insist she keep the little gifts all to herself. Spices, fruits, you name it – things he'd never seen before, but she always knew exactly what it was.

Still, there were some urges a smile couldn't relieve. In desperate escape from Barret's notorious snoring, Cloud had overtaken the small, hard office bed, leaving him with lonely nights as jealously, he thought how Marlene had the spot he wished to occupy himself. Barret had groused about "losing his favorite girl". Yeah, you and me both, buddy, Cloud thought, sulking.

How could he fault a child, oblivious to the way she was a complication? He certainly didn't hate Marlene – in fact, he was starting to care about her as much as did Barret and Tifa. But he needed Tifa – so badly it hurt. Needed that feeling of being pressed close against her, feeling himself inside her, the two of them so perfectly together in a way nothing else could duplicate. Every time he came it was like yet another burden was lifted; every time she cried his name, full of her own pleasure, he felt a little more free. Of all the things that happened between them, lovemaking was the one the really did TOGETHER, just the two of them, and he needed that for the love between them to grow.

Every time, he felt just a little bit more real.

In the end, it was not Cloud, but Barret, who decided to leave once the bar was going strong.

"You don't need me," he told Tifa, who couldn't have been more shocked when he announced out of the blue he'd be leaving. "You have everything under control."

She did, of course. But that wasn't what she worried about. "What about Marlene?" she asked him.

Barret hung his head. "That's the thing," he told Tifa. "I've been thinking… you remember how Dyne said his hands were too stained to hold Marlene?" Tifa nodded, regret flooding up at the last words of Barret's best friend. A story they still hadn't told his daughter. "I'm… not any better. A whole lot worse, in fact. I'm not going to be much of a father to her if I can't make myself a better man." He paused. "I've got to do it, Tifa. Find a way to resolve my past. Turn it into some kind of future. To redeem myself, you know?"

She did. Guilt was one thing she and Barret shared, in spades. It didn't stop her from being angry, though. "You can't do that here?" she demanded. "Without leaving Marlene alone?"

"She's not alone. She's with her mother." He eyed Tifa pointedly. "After these last years, you've got as much claim to be her parent as I have. Better, even. There's no substitute for a woman's touch. Besides, your place is here. You belong here, the bar, the city. You know I'm right," he finished. Cloud at her side, only nodded agreement.

"You knew about this?" she demanded once Barret had left the room. "Didn't you try to talk him out of it?"

"Why?" Cloud argued right back. "You know Barret. He's pretty damn stubborn when he decides something. Besides, I agreed with him." His eyes glazed over; for a moment, he seemed far, far away from her. "We all need to find our ways to be forgiven…"

It was breaking the news to Marlene that Tifa worried for the most, but she was endlessly surprised by the girl's resilience. She scolded him like a mother hen, telling her Papa who was supposed to take care of him, make sure he ate right and dressed warm and went to bed on time? "You know, like Tifa does – " and Tifa wondered if that was the way Marlene saw her. Was she really so capable at taking care of others that way? Did she really have things so under control?

Well. If Marlene thought so, she'd have to try.

The last day before Barret's leaving, Marlene had insisted on sleeping with him, rather than Tifa as usual. Unwilling to ask Marlene to give up her own comfortable bed – or to give up this chance to be alone – Cloud and Tifa made do with the paltry office bed that Cloud had been making his own. Mumbles of conversation between Marlene and her Papa could be heard until late through the walls, the eventual quiet indicating that Marlene had finally gone to sleep.

They kept a quiet of their own. Cloud hadn't realized how much he had been craving her nearness, needing to touch her, kiss her, with no press of time – so long that he'd worried he'd started to forget. He needn't have worried, he realized as it all came back. They were still in that delicious phase where everything felt new enough to be exciting, yet familiarity had begun to blend seamlessly within. In the dark he reveled in the warmth and softness of their overdue intimacy.

Times had been hard. He clung to her as if it would be his last chance ever, but he knew that there would be more time. Things were settling. He just had to be patient.

But for now… he'd enjoy what he could, feeling the press of her curves tightly against his body, stroking her hair in the soft way that always seemed to send her off to sleep, his worries far away as her even breathing sent him off as well…

Tifa awoke with the morning sun glaring into her eyes. Cloud, surprisingly, was still fast asleep. She reluctantly squiggled out of his somnolent embrace, and entered the other room to find Barret putting the finishing touches on packing.

"It's time," he told her, the customary gruffness gone from his voice. Marlene was sleeping like an angel on the bed behind him; Barret looked back with regret. "Last time for a while I'll be able to see her like this. Better keep her in my memory this way."

Tifa rose wordlessly, and gently shook Marlene awake. Marlene yawned, her eyes opening to full alertness almost at once, as if she'd been expecting this. "I'm ready, Daddy," she told Barret very seriously.

There were tears in Barret's eyes.

They made their goodbyes on the front steps of Seventh Heaven, the sun still low in the sky as Barret began to head out. He seemed uncertain of his destination, only mumbling about maybe checking out Corel first; Tifa thought she'd never seen Barret actually look scared before. It was an incongruous expression, and she could feel her own eyes beginning to water, realizing she'd been so concerned for Marlene she'd hardly had time to process this departure herself; but Barret was a part of her family too.

She felt a squeeze on her hand, and turned to look at Cloud gazing at her with calm, clear blue. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He was still there, and she hoped dearly she wouldn't find herself wishing goodbye to him the same way.

Barret, I hope you, too, can find something that means more to you than just fighting. That you can find a way back to yourself. Find a way back home.

She hoped dearly she'd found that for herself.

Marlene waved gaily, the only one unaffected by the gloomy mood. "Bye, Daddy! Don't forget to write! And call! And send presents!" She lowered her hands. "I'll take care of Cloud and Tifa! They can be my parents for now!"

Tifa started. Parents? Would that idea freak Cloud out? But he didn't seem to show any signs of reacting; she let herself relax a little.

Barret smiled in response. "Yeah, you got it! Keep the family together – " and then he turned, and was gone.