So I have spent the last week or so in and out of the hospital which sucks but on the other hand I've had plenty of time for writing! Enjoy :)
Edit: I noticed the fractions hadn't properly uploaded so I fixed that. Apparent when Google changes text into the little fraction things automatically doesn't accept. Anyways, I promise I'm not that bad at math
Amelia POV
When I get home from work the apartment is unusually quiet. I put my bags down and head through to the living room to find Sofia sat alone in the middle of the rug. She has her homework book out on the table but it's closed. She is currently coloring in a picture of a butterfly from one of those adult coloring books.
"Hey Sof, you okay?"
"Mom's head is bad again."
"What do you mean again?"
"Sometimes Mom gets really bad headache that makes her sick. Mama said when it happens I have to be quiet and not watch TV so I found some drawing to do." Sofia explains simply and I smile at her kindness.
"I'm going to go check if your Mom is okay. Is she in bed?" I ask the nine year old in front of me.
"Yeah." She responds but as I go to leave the room she calls me back. "Melia, once you've checked on Mom can we make dinner? My belly is making noises."
"Of course sweet girl."
I approach the bedroom quietly, not entirely sure what to expect. As I open the door Arizona rushes past me, going straight to the bathroom. I act quickly and follow her, pulling her hair back while she empties her stomach contents into the toilet. I rub gentle circles on her back, just waiting it out until a bit of the nausea has passed. After a few minutes the bathroom door opens and I see Sofia holding a glass of water. She passes it to Arizona who puts a small smile on her face.
"Thank you baby." She says simply to Sofia, but I can see her grimacing in pain. Sofia just nods and leaves the bathroom, I can tell this isn't the first time she has helped deal with the situation.
"You okay?" I ask my girlfriend, helping her up from the bathroom floor.
"Migraine. It hurts like hell but I'll survive."
"Yeah I guessed. Anything I can do?" I offer.
"No, just keep the volume down."
"I think Sofia has that covered. Will you be okay without me for a few minutes? I need to put some food in the oven for Sof, she said her belly is growling." I say simply as I nod towards the next room.
"Take her out for some food, she has been quiet since I picked her up from school, she deserves some down time. I'm not sure how much longer she can keep her energy in." Arizona responds thoughtlessly, sighing with a hand covering her eyes.
"Are you sure? Will you be okay on your own?"
"I'm sure I can survive. There's money in my purse if you need it."
"Don't be silly, I have money. Do you want anything bringing back?"
"Can I have some of those Popsicles, the long thin ones with no stick? Sof knows which ones."
"Sure. Call me if you need anything okay? I won't be far away."
Despite being worried for Arizona, I choose to make the most of the bonding time I'll have with Sofia. As a neurosurgeon, seeing my girlfriend in such immense head pain raised some alarms but I know logically that she is a doctor. And the fact that she has had migraines before gives me a little comfort.
"Okay Sof, we are going to go out and get some food. Put your shoes and coat on quietly."
"Will Mom be okay on her own?" Sofia asks and I smile at how thoughtful the young girl can be.
"She'll be okay. We aren't going to stay out for too long and she can call me if she needs anything."
"Can I choose the music in the car?" She asks excitedly and I see why Arizona was saying Sofia wouldn't be able to stay quiet much longer.
"Sure. Come on, let's go."
We decide to go to a little Italian place not too far away from the apartment. This way we are staying local incase Arizona needs us, plus they have a great kids menu which Sofia loves.
"I'm proud of you kiddo, you know that?" I tell Sofia as we get given our table.
"Why proud? I haven't done anything special." She points out with a perplexed look on her face.
"Your mom is sick and you remembered not to make any noise, and you didn't bother her when you were hungry, you just found something else to do, and did your homework without being asked. I think that's very special."
"I didn't finish my homework though, it was too hard."
"But you tried, and trying is more important than succeeding because if you try and can't do it, then you know and you can ask for help. When I was your age I don't think I would have been that good."
"Was I good enough to get a dessert?" She asks with wide eyes and I laugh.
"Sure, I think we can do that."
The meal is quiet and simple. Sofia tells me all about school and how she has been learning about the solar system in science class. She tells me as much as she can remember, getting excited about all the little things until she runs out of fun fact.
"Melia I have a question." Sofia announces suddenly looking serious. "But it's for Dr Shepherd, not Melia."
"What's the difference between me and Dr Shepherd?" I ask, genuinely curious about this separation in her mind.
"Dr Shepherd tells the full truth, even if it's tricky to understand. Melia makes it simpler but misses out things." She replies with a big grin as I wonder what on earth she wants to know.
"What do you want to know?" I ask her back which makes her giggle.
"Why does my mom get headaches?" she asks and I start thinking how on each I'm going to explain this to a nine year old.
"So, what your mom gets is called a migraine, and there isn't an easy answer. Are you sure you want Dr Shepherd and not Amelia?"
"I'm sure. I want to understand."
"Okay, so when there isn't one simple cause so we look to something called a diathesis stress model. This is when you need a biological thing, something we are born with, and you need something in the environment to make the illness happen. So until the thing in the environment happens, the person will never show signs of the illness.
Some doctors think that the biological difference is that there is a chemical difference in your brain. But some doctors think its a different gene. But these differences don't mean anything unless they're triggered by something in the environment. So it might be sleeping patterns, or stress, or a certain type of food that your mom ate. And if she has the trigger and the biological at the same time, then she gets a migraine. Does that make sense or is it too sciency?" I make sure to check at the end, knowing that I may have gone into a little bit too much detail.
"I think it makes sense. What is my Mom's trigger?"
"I don't know honey. Maybe she does and we can ask her when she's feeling better."
"Do you think the biological thingy is genes or chemicals?" Sofia asks me and I smile knowing she has actually understood what I was telling her.
"I think it's a bit of both. Some people might have different chemicals and others might have different genes, or sometimes having the different genes may cause the chemicals to be different."
"I think you're right and those other doctors should listen to you. You're the best brain doctor ever!"
"I'm not sure about that… but I am pretty good." I say with a grin which makes Sofia laugh.
It's rare that Sofia and I have this time to spend together, time to really get to know each other. Despite living with her for the last six months, I will feel like I'm learning more every day. She is growing up so quickly and I wish that I would have been here to see her grow and learn, I wish I could be a part of her life for all the years that I missed, but if I were, I would never have had Christopher. I wouldn't have loved and lost so much. My appreciation of what I have right now would be so much lesser. It's only now that I've really come to realise how much my past has shaped where I am now.
Having both eaten, I pay the bill and we make our way out of the restaurant. Despite being old enough to walk sensibly on her own, Sofia has opted to hold my hand as we walk.
"Melia, are you going to live with me and my Mom forever?" Sofia asks me as we are getting into the car.
"I mean, I can't see the future, but I hope so. I really like living with you guys. Is that okay?" I ask, suddenly worried that Sofia may not actually want this situation.
"Yeah, I just-" she begins but stops to think about her words before continuing. "I already have two Mom's." Sofia says and my heart sinks in my chest.
"I'm not trying to replace either of your Mom's Sof, I'm more than happy to just be Amelia."
"I know, it's not that. I just, I don't know what to call you. You act like you're my Mom, and I like it, it's just confusing."
"What do you mean you don't know what to call me? You know my name."
"But everyone else calls you Amelia. Zola, Bailey and Ellis call you Auntie Melia. And I can't call you Mom or Mama because I already have those and now I don't know what to call you." Sofia explains loudly clearly showing how much she has thought about this before. I feel tears burning in my eyes, but they're happy tears. Sofia has basically just told me I'm another mother to her, and despite the initial confusion due to her choice of words, I find myself falling more in love with her which I didn't even think was possible.
"What about Amy." I state and Sofia gives me a puzzled glance "Your Mom is the only one who calls me Amy, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing if you wanted." I offer, thinking back to a time when Derek was the only person allowed to call me that.
"Amy, I think I like it." Sofia says with a grin and I lean over the seats for a cuddle. This is a huge moment for me and I'm trying really hard not to cry.
"Great. Now that that's sorted, we need to get some Popsicles for your Mom and then head back home. Sound good?"
We take it slow as we walk around the store as I want to give Arizona as much time alone as she needs. Sofia still hasn't taken her hand out of mine, not that I'm complaining, I love having her by my side. She's my daughter. We get the basic groceries, knowing we are getting low anyway and Sofia sees a tshirt she really likes so I give in and offer to buy it which made her extremely happy. We collect Arizona's two favourite types of popsicles because Sofia can't remember which of the two she prefers and we figure it's better safe than sorry.
When we arrive home, I can see the lights are off in our bedroom. I deliver a popsicle and Arizona tries to get out of bed to come spend time with us but I see her squinting in pain.
"Stay here, it's fine. Sofia and I are fine. Try to rest and let me know if you need anything." I tell Arizona and I expect her to fight back, but to my surprise she doesn't, she just flops back down into bed. "Do you want me to shut the door?" I offer on the way out.
"Please. When Sofia has gone to bed can you come back here for the evening?"
"Of course."
When I head back through to check on Sofia, she has her maths book open on the kitchen table.
"Mel- I mean Amy, can you help me with my fractions?" She acts and I smile at her remembering to change my name.
"Sure, let me see." I say moving round to sit next to her. Looking at her paper to see the first sum. "2 3/5 x 2 1/2"
"Okay well with these ones, you need to multiply the big number by the denominator, then add that to the numerator. So if you do 2x5 what does that give?"
"10"
"and then whats 10 3?"
"13"
"So your final fraction is 13/5, so now you have to do the same with the other fraction before you can multiply them." I explain and she nods before looking at the second part of the question.
"So 2x2=4 and 41 is 5 so is the fraction 5/2?" Sofia asks me unsure whether she has done it correctly.
"Yeah it is. Well done. Do you remember how to multiply fractions?"
"Times the top numbers and then the bottom numbers and then simplify."
"So the bottom is…" I prompt her to figure out the sum.
"2x5 which is… 10." She states aloud, writing down her answer. "And the top is harder but I can do it don't tell me" Sofia instructs and I grin at how determined she is.
"So if 13x10 is 130 then I have to half it which is… 65?" Sofia asks as she counts the numbers out on her fingers.
"Perfect."
"Is that it?"
"Nope, we still have to simplify it, see." I explain pointing to the question. "So for 65 and 10, which number can both divide by."
"5?"
"Yep, so divide them both by 5 and you get?" I ask and I can see her counting out the numbers on her hands.
"13/2 which is the same as 6 1/2."
"Amazing, well done! See I knew you could do it."
"Not on my own, you helped."
"That's fine, because you're going to do the next one on your own and I'm not going to help unless you're realllllyyyy stuck." I explain, drawing out my word which makes her laugh.
I sit and watch her through each step, making sure she doesn't go wrong. It takes her a little while but I can see she knows what she is doing.
"Is it 8/3 which is… 2 2/3 ?" Sofia asks hopefully looking up towards me.
"Yep. See, you just did that all on your own. I'm sure your teacher will be very impressed tomorrow."
"I think so too." She responds with a yawn.
"Okay monkey, shower then it's bedtime, you've worked hard today." I instruct and she nods again jumping up to put her homework away and go in the shower.
As the day comes to an end, I make my way towards Sofia's bedroom to say goodnight. I knock lightly before opening the door to see her sat up in bed with a book in her hands.
"Hey kiddo, it's time to go to sleep, you have school in the morning."
"Can I finish my chapter first?"
"How long has it got left?" I ask and she quickly flicks through a couple of pages.
"3 and a half pages. It'll only take me 5 minutes."
"Go on then, as long as you promise to put it down as soon as you're done okay?"
"I will, I promise. Goodnight Amy, I love you."
"I love you too sweetie, sleep tight."
I do a quick check of the doors and windows making sure everything is closed before taking a bottle of water and some aspirin to my room for Arizona.
"Hey, how you feeling?" I ask quietly climbing into bed beside her.
"A little better. My head still hurts but a lot less pukey so I guess that's good." Arizona says, her eyes staying closed but she leans into my side. "How was your day?"
"My day was actually really good. I mean, I wish my girlfriend wasn't sick but it's been a pretty successful day." I smile to myself.
"Tell me about it."
"Three successful surgeries, one of which was an emergency. Nobody thought he would survive, but I was awesome, and he did. When I left he was awake and laid in bed talking to his daughter. I did that."
"That's amazing, I'm proud of you."
"That's not even the best part" I reply smugly, genuinely happy and wanting to share this news with my girlfriend.
"Hmm?"
"After we had eaten, Sofia basically told me I was like another Mom to her, but she didn't know what to call me. She already has a Mom, and a Mama. Then she said Mer's kids call me Melia and she wanted a name for herself."
"What did you say?"
"She is going to call me Amy from now on, like you do."
"And you're okay with that?" Arizona asks me, and I know why she has to check, it was what Derek called me, and I history of getting upset when others used the nickname.
"I love her, more than anything, and if her calling me Amy makes her feel more secure and happy about living arrangement then it's perfect. We are perfect."
"What did we do to deserve you?" She asks me pulling the blankets up over our heads, presumably to block out the light.
"I don't know. Take me in when I was lost, when I wasn't even sure I wanted to be alive anymore. You gave me a family that I trusted enough to share my pain and you made me want to get better. You did that, you gave me a home."
"You're going to make me cry and I'm already dehydrated enough from puking all day."
"Oh right, I brought you water and Aspirin, but you might want to come out from under the covers before taking those."
"Oh thank god I have a super smart doctor to keep me from spilling water all over myself." Arizona huffs and it's almost certain she is rolling her eyes at me despite the fact that all the lights are turned off and I can't see her face.
"Shut up. You think you'll be able to sleep for a bit or is your head still too bad?"
"I just want to snuggle and feel sorry for myself for a bit. You can sleep if you want, I'm just going to use you as a giant teddy bear."
"I'm up for some snuggle time, I'm not too tired. I could even feel sorry for you and we could have a double pity party if you want?"
"That sounds perfect."