Arizona POV
I can't say I wasn't surprised when Zola informed Amelia and I that she would be making dinner for us tonight. And then I was even more surprised that Amelia agreed to let her cook dinner providing she would let her help. My girlfriend's actual words were "Sure, you can make dinner, but I'm the assistant chef. You've got to give me stuff to do to help so you're not doing all the work." Before making Zola pinky swear she would let her help.
At first I was worried for Zola's safety, I definitely wouldn't trust Sofia to cook a family meal, I'd be worried she would burn the house down. It doesn't take me long to realise that the ten year old knows exactly what she is doing, she occasionally asks Amelia where we keep stuff in the kitchen, letting her aunt chop the vegetables she is going to use but I can tell she only lets Amelia help because she had insisted.
"What are you making Zola?" I ask the girl, moving to sit beside her aunt. "Whatever it is, it smells great."
"It's a recipe me and Aunt Maggie found online. It's lemon and herb flavoured and it's really good, right Aunty Melia?"
"Yep, you know it's my favourite Zozo." Amelia replies with a grin.
"AUNTY MEWIA" We hear Ellis yell before her footsteps can be heard running toward the kitchen. The four year olds inability to distinguish her 'W' sound from 'L' adds to the cuteness of her tone. "The toilet papers all out!" She huffs, entering the room only for us to see her lack of underwear.
"You can't run around without pants, baby. Go put them on please." Amelia obstructs but Ellis simply huffs.
"But I need toilet paper."
"Can I come get you some? And then you can put them back on?" I offer the young girl. She looks to Amelia, almost as though she is asking permission to go with me. It's the cutest.
"It's okay baby, Arizona will come get you some." Amelia says with a small smile, giving Ellis the nod to go back to the bathroom.
"Kay." Ellis responds quickly, running back to the bathroom. I stand up from the table to follow the girl, removing the roll from its cupboard and passing it to her as soon as I enter the bathroom.
"You all good or do you need help?" I ask her, remembering how at four years old Sofia was in between needing help and wanting to be independent.
"No help. Wait at the door though?" Ellis questions cautiously.
"Okay, I'll be just outside." I tell her, letting her know it's okay.
I wait patiently while Ellis uses the bathroom, listening in case she decides she wants assistance. I hear the chain flush and a few moments later the child appears. "Have you washed your hands?"
"Yep. See!" She says excitedly, putting her damp hands in mine. "I've not been in your house before." She started simply, looking around in the hallway.
"That's right, but you're having a sleepover with Zola here tonight. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. Where is things here?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by her question.
"Which rooms are who's?" She responds, specifying her question.
"Well you have seen the kitchen, living room and bathroom, so there are only bedrooms left. You want to go look?" I offer. Her curiosity is only natural and I'm hoping she will be less worried going to bed away from home tonight if she knows where everything is. She nods and reaches up to hold my hand.
I follow Ellis' lead, letting her make decisions on where to check first and allow her to explore properly.
"This is Sofia's room, it's where you and Zola are going to sleep tonight. We have another bed we can put up so you don't have to share, and I was thinking we could give you some special princess blankets."
"Yeah. I like princesses. Does Aunty Melia live here now too?"
"Yep, she does. Is that okay with you?"
"Where does she sleep?" The young girl asks, skipping over my question.
"In my room. She shares my bed."
"In your bed?! Why?" Ellis gasps, confusion taking over her face. It's only now that I remember Ellis has never had two parents that share a bed, Meredith has dated on and off but never enough for them to move in and meet the kids as a boyfriend.
"Because she is my girlfriend and I love her. We like sharing a bed because it means we are close to each other." I explain simply and she nods showing her understanding.
"I don't want to share my bed. I like it all on my own" She decides with a nod. "Where is you and Aunty Melia's room?"
I lead Ellis through to my bedroom and she stops to look around.
"Where Auntie Melia sleep?" She asks again. I reach my arms out, picking up the young girl before placing her on Amelia's side of the bed.
"Right there. And I sleep right here." I inform her, climbing up on the bed to lay next to her.
"Like sleepovers everyday?"
"Exactly like that. You're so smart."
"Arizona, Ellis? Did you get lost?" Amelia says jokingly and I hear her footsteps approaching down the hallway.
"Hide?" Ellis asks quickly and I pull the blanket over her body. When Amelia walks in I point toward the blanket and Amelia nods with a grin.
"Hmmm, I've checked everywhere. Ellis must be in here somewhere." Amelia says slowly and we can hear slight giggles from the girl. "Hmmm, could she be in the wardrobe? Nope not there. Maybe under the bed?"
"No." Ellis says quietly and Amelia pops up.
"I'm sure I just heard a voice, and it wasn't Arizona's. Ellis must be somewhere. She isn't behind Arizona, and she isn't in the cupboard. Where could she possibly be? Maybe right here?" Amelia announces as she pulls the blankets from over her niece's body and begins to tickle her sides.
"Auntie Melia, stop. No more tickles." Ellis begs through her laughter.
"Okay. Sorry sweetie. Dinner is almost ready, come on let's go set the table."
"But I'm comfy." The young girl says with a smirk and Amelia shakes her head. She reaches down to pick Ellis up, spinning the small body until she is upside down. Amelia has one arm wrapped around her niece's waist, and the other around her legs to make sure she has a secure grip. Ellis' giggles suggest this is something Amelia has done before, her laughter not stopping until we get to the kitchen and Amelia puts her down.
"I'm impressed, you've got some good upper body strength carrying her like that." I comment lightheartedly as my girlfriend begins to serve dinner.
"I don't know why you're surprised, I've carried you to bed before." She says blankly, turning her head to offer a wink.
"You carry Zona? Why?" Zola asks with a frown.
"Because sometimes I'm too tired to walk, or I don't have my leg on." I tell Zola.
"Zola gives me a strange glance before turning to her aunt.
"Is it a sex thing?" She asks my girlfriend and I choke on my breath, unaware that she saw through my lie and not expecting such a question from a 10 year old. Amelia places the dishes on the side to look at her niece.
"Sometimes it's a sex thing, but sometimes it is just because Arizona doesn't have her leg on." Amelia explains to her simply, placing a quick kiss on her head.
"Okay. Is Sofia back tomorrow?" Zola continues, fully satisfied with Amelia's answer and moving onto the next topic.
"Yep. You want to come pick her up at the airport with me?"
The evening passes quietly, Amelia tucks the girls into bed, Ellis already asleep and Zola is reading one of Sofia's many books.
When my girlfriend emerges from the kids room, she heads through to the kitchen rather than back to join me in the living room. I make my way through to join her, seeing that she is cleaning up the dishes we left in the sink after dinner.
"Want some help?" I offer.
"Sure. Want to dry?" She asks me and I pick up a dish towel to begin drying and putting away. We work side by side in silence, appreciating each others company after a long day. Once Amelia has finished washing the dishes, she dries her hands before moving behind me, wrapping her arms gently around my body as I dry the last few dishes.
"I'm exhausted." She says quietly, resting her head on my shoulder. I place the last dish down and spin my body around to look at her.
"It's been a long day. Do you want to go to bed?"
"Yes and no."
"You can't really have it both ways, what's on your mind?" I ask softly, stroking her hair behind her ear and looking into her eyes. I feel her grip on my body tighten and some tears begin to build in her eyes. She released me from her embrace to wipe her eyes.
"No, no. I'm not going to cry. Not today." She mumbles to herself as she glances her eyes to the ceiling to avoid the falling of tears. "Sorry."
"You're allowed to cry, Amelia. You know that." I whisper gently.
"Not today. Because if I start, I won't stop. I just need to erm… I erm, I just can't cry today." I watch her face, the pain she is hiding and it hurts me to see. I just want to help her to reduce her pain.
"You just need what? What can I do?"
"I think I just need to spiral for a bit, but I don't want to cry and if I spiral I cry and if I cry I won't stop and I don't need that."She panics, realising the cycle she is trapped in.
I take Amelia's hand, leading her through to our bedroom. I lay down in bed, opening my arms for her to lie with me. When she climbs into bed she faces me and her eyes get teary again.
"Roll over." I instruct. She gives me a strange glance but does as I suggest. I wrap my arms around her from behind, spooning her body. "I've got you, you're okay."
"Why can't I look at you?" She asks with a sniffle.
"Because then you'll cry, and you told me you didn't want to cry. You cry more when you look at me. Tell me what's going through your mind?" I ask lovingly and I feel her hand link with my own.
"Everything. My appointment this morning. The pregnant patient. I'm just tired of everything. Having the kids here helped, I love spending time with them, but today maybe wasn't the best day." She explains, her thoughts jumping from one to another.
"Okay. I'm going to take those one at a time. I know your appointment was scary, and it's a big step, but there is no rush. You told me at the park that you want me to look after your blades and replace razers with hair removal cream, and we can do that, as soon as you're ready. "
"Thank you." Amelia says with a shaky breath and I tighten my grip on her slightly.
"I can't imagine what you must have felt with your patient, seeing that scan. I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"It hurt, but it hurt more that one of the nurses was yelling at me. I knew the patient needed a neuro work up, but I just couldn't. All my muscles just froze and I couldn't. It's a good job Richard was there. I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't."
"I don't know exactly what you would have done, but I trust you would have dealt with it somehow, you always do." I encourage. I know Amelia, and no matter how hard something is, she will always find a way.
"The baby died during surgery. I suppose it saves her the pain of having to make the choice of what to do. I wouldn't want anybody else to go through that" Amelia admits, her voice becoming shakier, I can feel her holding back sobs. "Arizona…"
"I'm here. I've got you." I state. She rolls herself over, her arms clinging to my body with her head in my chest. I know she didn't want to cry, but this needed to happen. She needed to let her emotions out and I will be here to hold her.
I feel Amelia's body shake against mine, her breaths shuddering as she begins to panic.
"Deep breaths, I've got you." I whisper softly. She nods her head but her breathing is getting worse, almost to the state of hyperventilation. "Breathe with me Amelia. In… And out… In… And out…" I say aloud, repeating the action a few times and watching to make sure she is following. She slowly begins to regain control of her lungs, matching her breathing to mine.
"I'm s-sorry." She stutters.
"It's okay. You're okay. What do you need?"
"Distraction?"
"Okay erm." I say, searching through my brain for a suitable conversation. "Sofia is coming home tomorrow and told me she is excited to talk about Wicked with you. She said her favourite song was "for good" if that means anything to you." I tell my girlfriend. Sofia was extremely excited on the phone and Amelia has told me many times that Sofia cheers her up.
"It's the sad song at the end but it's good. I guessed that would be her favourite."
"Why? What about it makes you think that?"
"It's about kindness and not judging people based on appearance alone and it's a lot of people's favourite song." Amelia explains, her voice becoming more clear and less shuddery as she continues to talk.
We talk for a while about random topics, just making small talk about easy topics.
"Thank you for distracting me. I really needed to not cry. I mean I guess it was too late but still."
"It's what you needed. It's fine. What do you want to do now?"
"Is eating ice cream an option?"
"Absolutely. Come on, let's go sit on the couch and eat ice cream until we get brain freeze."