Amelia POV
I'm walking home from the party. I feel dizzy. I've been here before. I know this place. No. This is where it happened. I attempt to cross the road, I need to get away. I'm too late. I feel his hands grab me. He puts his hand over my mouth, silencing me, preventing me from making any sound. I feel his hand tugging at my clothes. I feel his mouth against my neck. I feel his knife against my skin. No, he's dead. He can't. No-.
The creaking of our bedroom door wakes me, pulling me out of my third nightmare tonight. I snap my eyes awake to see it is 5am. I look up to see Sofia standing by the door.
"Amy. You're awake!" She says with excitement.
"It's the middle of the night Sof, go back to bed please." I instruct, trying my hardest to muster up a smile but she walks toward me.
"But it's my birthday!"
"I know, I know it is, happy birthday." I tell her, opening my arms for the young girl to lay down with us. "But it's still 5am, your mom didn't get home until late, and we both know you're going to be up late tonight so we should try to get a little more sleep while we can. I promise we will have plenty of fun later." I explain, shuffling a little toward my girlfriend to create space for Sofia and wrapping my arms around her small body. I pull the duvet across our bodies and place a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, birthday girl. Now get some more rest before we party all day." I continue which gets a little giggle from the girl before she yawns.
"I love you too, Melia."
I watch my daughter fall asleep. She is so peaceful. It's as though everything else in the world has fallen away, and all that's left is our little family. If someone told me several years ago I would be in a strong, healthy relationship, co-parenting a child and feeling content with my life, I would never have believed them. I never knew just how much one act of kindness could change your life. Arizona chose to stop her car that day, she chose to try to help me, and now my life has completely changed. I look back to our daughter before rolling over to look at Arizona. I wouldn't change it for the world.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Arizona begins to move. Due to my close proximity to my girlfriend, I feel her hands wrap around my body, pulling me closer in her sleep, her unconscious wanting to cuddle. It is at this precise moment I realise I'm not going to get any more sleep tonight. I was wary of the thought of going back to sleep with Sofia in bed, the thought of the potential nightmares being stressful enough, but with Arizona holding onto me too, I know it would be too much.
I settle for some chill time, after all, relaxing is closer to sleep than dealing with Sofia who will undoubtedly be on a sugar high all day. Arizona has informed me that it's a tradition for Sof to eat cake for breakfast on her special day, and that is just the start.
I lay quietly, waiting for Sofia to drift to sleep. I feel a little uncomfortable, a little trapped being in the middle of the bed with so little space so I lean toward my girlfriend, who already has her arm draped across my body. I shuffle a little closer, and
rest my head on her chest. I know she won't mind such an action, in fact, she may even appreciate it. Arizona's arms almost immediately wrap around my body and I take a moment, just to feel safe in her protective arms.
"Amy, you okay?"
"Shh, Sofia is asleep. She stole my pillow, but it's okay, I have you." I explain in a whisper, glancing my eyes to the sleeping 10 year old and back to Arizona. "You can go back to sleep, it's okay, I'll be okay." I add, but my tone can't even convince myself that is the truth.
"Nightmares?" Arizona asks and I nod against her body.
"But as long as I'm awake, I know I'm safe I feel safe now so I'm okay."
"Amelia, you look exhausted. You can go back to sleep, I'll stay awake incase you have a nightmare. You're going to need to rest, Sofia is going to stay up late tonight." "That's the exact argument I made to tell her to go back to sleep."
"Then you can't argue it. Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up."
"I don't want to scare Sof." I argue in a whisper.
"You won't. If you even start to squirm, I'll wake you. Get some rest, you're safe." My girlfriend instructs, wrapping her arms tighter around my body.
"I don't think I can, not here."
"What do you mean?"
"I um, I'm trapped. I know I'm safe, logically I know that but, I'm still trapped."
I feel my girlfriend pull at my body, until I'm almost entirely on top of her. She shuffles further onto the bed until I can slide over to the other side of her body.
"Better?"
"Yeah, thank you."
"Amelia, wake up." I hear Arizona whisper, rubbing her hand up and down my back.
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to go get Sofia's presents and move them in here so she can open them in bed. It's a tradition."
"Mm 'kay"
"Amy, I need you to move so I can get up."
"Oh, sorry. Okay, I'm awake." I mumble, sitting myself up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"I'll just be a minute. Do you want coffee?"
"Yes, please."
"Coming right up. I'll be back in a minute."
While Arizona is bringing Sofia's presents to our bedroom, I get dressed into some cosy clothes. I get the present I have bought for Sofia out of my back pack and lay it with the others Arizona and I had bought. While we decided to buy shared gifts from the both of us, I had this idea and thought it would be a nice surprise for Arizona as well and I didn't even know if it would be possible to organise until less than a week ago.
When Arizona arrives back to our room with coffee, she sees the gift and raises her eyebrow.
"Trust me?"
"You know I do. But I am curious. You surprised her with giraffe feeding last year and now this? Should I be worried?"
"I thought about telling you, but it was last minute. But you are busy tomorrow afternoon though, so don't make any plans."
"I'm confused."
"Well, you'll find out soon enough." I say with a smirk, reaching my hand over to rub our daughters shoulder. "Sofia, it's morning. Wakey wakey birthday girl." I whisper as she begins to stir.
"It's my birthday!"
"It sure is. How does it feel being 10? Have you grown?" Arizona jokes, looking from Sofia's head down to her toes.
"I'm just the same height as yesterday, Mom."
"I'm not sure about that. I think you look taller. What do you think Amelia?" Arizona asks me.
"Hmm, definitely taller. It's like she has stretched overnight."
"Don't be silly, Amy, I didn't stretch."
"Whatever you say birthday girl." I smile, ruffling her already messy hair.
"Can I open my presents now?"
"Of course, let me bring them over." Arizona tells her, picking them up and placing them on the bed.
Sofia unwraps her gifts slowly, taking her time to examine each item. We have bought her a selection of new books (that we know she will have finished in a few weeks time, but for now the selection is overly exciting). She makes sure to read the blurb on each of them before picking up the next. We have bought her a selection of art supplies as well as a few games. The final thing Arizona and I bought for her was a bracelet with personalised small charms on it. We bought an S for Sofia as well as two A's for Arizona and myself, an M for Mark and a C for Callie. Our own little family. When we explain this to her, when we talk about the significance her face lights up for a moment before turning into a sad smile.
"What's the matter, baby? Don't you like it?" Arizona panics a little, but Sofia quickly shakes her head.
"No it's not that, I love it." She says simply, but her tone does not match her words.
"Then why do you look sad?"
"I really do love it, but, could I get another C?" She asks her Mom.
"Who for?" Arizona asks, clearly confused at the request.
"Well, if I have Amy on there because she is like another mom, that kind of makes Christopher kind of like a brother." Sofia explains, looking at the framed photo on my bedside table.
"I'm sorry, we didn't think of that. I'm sure we could get another C for you, if that's okay with Amelia?" They both look to me and I suddenly feel overwhelmed with the amount of love in the room.
"That is more than okay. I uh, I think he would have liked having you as a sister." I explain, trying my hardest to hold back tears.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you sad Amy."
"You didn't. I'm okay. I just didn't think of that because you didn't meet him."
"Well, I don't remember my dad either, but I know I love him."
"You're too smart kiddo. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"Go on, finish opening your presents - there's one left." I instruct, pointing to the thin wrapped box containing my gift.
"And I don't know what's in this one Sof, Amy is very good at keeping secrets." Arizona explains with a huff, and I shake my head at her impatient nature.
When Sofia moves to reach the final gift, Arizona shuffles onto the bed to sit by my side. "You okay?" she whispers while the young girl is distracted and I nod my head.
"Matilda?" Sofia asks, looking to me to explain her gift.
"You've read the book right?" I ask, knowing I have seen it in her room.
"Yeah, I read lots of Roald Dahl."
"Well, they made a musical of it. Because you liked Wicked so much, I thought I could get tickets for you to see another show."
"Really? There's three tickets so we are all going? When?"
"Tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay?"
"Yes! Thank you Amy, I love it. I'm so excited." She exclaims, rolling into my arms. I pass Arizona what is left of my coffee so I can hug the girl properly.
"I'm glad you like it."
Arizona sends Sofia to go in the shower before she gets her 'breakfast cake' as the newly 10 year old referred to it. I collect all the wrapping paper that has been scattered across the bed, putting it into a big bin bag ready to dispose of it later.
"Hey, so I've been trying to think of the best way to ask this, but I've not been able to come up with anything so I'm just going to ask and whatever your answer is okay."
"Okay?"
"I know tomorrow is your birthday. I know you told me you don't celebrate your birthday, so I need to know boundaries. Am I allowed to get you a card or gift? Am I allowed to wish you a happy birthday? Is Sofia allowed to know? I just, I don't want to get things wrong. "
"Hey, calm down, it's okay. I don't celebrate my birthday, so nothing is mandatory. I don't see a point in telling Sofia, it would only get back to Zola and therefore Mer and Maggie. So I'm going to say no to cards. You can wish me a happy birthday though, Addison does every year, I'm okay with that." I explain, pulling my slightly panicked girlfriend into my arms.
"And gifts?"
"Based on that question, I'm going to presume you have already gotten me something?" I respond and Arizona looks nervous. "They're not necessary, I normally don't get any. I mean, it's okay, I'm sure whatever it is, anything from you is perfect but in general I don't normally."
"You sure that it's okay that I got you something?" Arizona asks quietly and I can see she is worried she has done the wrong thing but I nod, it is okay.
"Yeah, just keep it between you and me?"
"Of course. What about birthday sex? Is that something you'd be interested in?"
"I think I'd be okay that." I respond quickly with a grin, leaning in to give my girlfriend a kiss. "Come on, today's birthday girl is going to be waiting."
Sofia's birthday was a nonstop roller-coaster of fun. We went shopping because Sofia wanted a new outfit for the theatre tomorrow, we baked cookies and then we went to the park to feed the ducks. We ended up going to Meredith's house for the evening, Sofia requested a game night with everyone and it seemed easier to go to them than have Mer bring everyone to us. By the time we got back home it was after 10pm and Sofia was exhausted, as were Arizona and I.
"So, good birthday kiddo?" Arizona asks Sofia as we are tucking her into bed.
"The best. And it's not over yet because we got to see the show tomorrow." Sofia adds with a yawn.
"Yeah, it's going to be lots of fun."
"Is the Matilda show good, Amy?" Sofia follows up, turning to look to me rather than Arizona.
"I haven't seen it because it's quite new, but I imagine it will be very good. We will just have to wait to find out." I explain with a smile.
"Okay, time to go to sleep, sweetie. Good night, we love you."
"Love you Mom, love you Amy."
Arizona takes my hand, leading me through to the kitchen.
"Arizona, can we just go to bed? I'm tired." I explain with a yawn. I can feel that she has an ulterior motive but she grips a little tighter.
"Two minutes, then we can go to sleep, I promise."
"What's going on?" I ask while Arizona is getting out a plate and slicing a piece of Sofia's birthday cake. When she turns around, I see she has placed a singular candle in the slice. I presume buying you a cake is a no-no, but since Sofia's cake is here, and she is in bed, this is for you." She explains, lighting the candle with a match.
"Az, this isn't necessary."
"I know, I just, I thought- growing up, cake was the one thing that always stayed the same about birthdays. Even if we were super busy, or if we were in the middle of moving houses and everything was crazy, there was always a cake. I don't celebrate much either but I still have cake." Arizona tries to explain. I can see her panic that she has done the wrong thing. Although I really didn't want this kind of thing, it's not worth upsetting my girlfriend over. I place my hand on her arm to stop her from moving.
"Thank you, Arizona. Blow it out with me?"
Arizona counts down from three and we blow out the single candle together.
"I'm sorry if it was too much, I didn't want to overstep."
"Arizona, it's fine."
"It's not, I shouldn't have-"
"Hey, it's okay. Stop apologising and help me eat my cake." I instruct, taking a fork full of cake and lifting it to her mouth.
After eating the cake, I place the plate in the sink and approach my girlfriend from behind, wrapping my arms around her. "Let's go to bed."
"I'm sorry. I know you said you didn't want to celebrate, it just felt wrong because of my own traditions, but I shouldn't force you to celebrate."
"Arizona, it's fine, I'm okay. Neither of us are perfect, we both know that. We are both learning to grow closer to each other. If eating a slice of cake is important to you, then I can eat a slice of cake. It's strange for both of us." I explain as we sit down to get undressed for bed.
"Can I ask why you don't celebrate? I don't want to over step, you don't have to answer, I just-"
"Mhm, it's okay. I kinda guessed you would ask." I respond, getting under the blankets and dealing Arizona's gentle arms wrap around my body. "It was my 6th birthday, my first birthday without my Dad, I was so used to my dad planning our parties that I didn't know what to expect. I was scared I was going to miss him too much to be happy. Then when I woke up on my birthday, it was just like any other day. My mom was already at work and my sisters didn't remember. Derek was the only one to get me anything for my birthday that year. He was mad my Mom forgot, but I told him it was because I didn't want a party without my dad and it just kind of became the truth for me. Celebrating made me miss my dad." I let out a staggering breath and I feel Arizona's arms grip tighter around me.
"I'm sorry."
"Derek used to make sure to get me something still. Never cards, or cake but he always got me a little something. He kept doing that until he died. I guess this kind of makes you my new Derek."
"Are you sure you're okay with that?
"It's going to take a bit of getting used to, but I know it's all out of love. I'm okay with it, I promise."
I roll over, rubbing my eyes a little to wake me properly from my sleepy state to see Arizona sitting up in bed watching me.
"Stop staring, you're creeping me out." I groan into the pillow and my girlfriend laughs at my grumpy tone. "What?"
"I love you. Even when you're all grumpy in the morning."
"I love you too. Go back to sleep." I instruct, throwing an arm over her to try and pull her back under the blankets.
"I could go to sleep, but I was thinking of a little something else we could do." She whispers in a sultry tone and all of a sudden my tiredness seems to vanish. "If you're not too sleepy."
"I'm awake." I state, my voice still gruff from my recent slumber but my body rolls back to look at her. I am pleasantly surprised to see her upper half completely bare. I can't take my eyes off her beautiful body - something Arizona seems to pick up too.
I feel her lips attach to mine, I'm not sure how she got on top of me so quickly, but I don't fight it. I begin to kiss back, responding to her movements. I feel her grin at my response before continuing. Her fingertips slowly move down my body, finding the hem of my pyjama top and lifting it slowly up over my head. She intentionally slips her leg between mine, offering a surface for me to grind against. I feel her mouth detach from my lips and move to my pulse point. Her hands cup my breasts and I find myself beginning to panic a little. I bring my hands to grip on to her wrists, preventing her from moving any further.
"Can we slow down a little, please?" I ask my girlfriend softly, and she immediately slows all movement.
"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She asks as she rolls from on top of me to lay by my side.
"I'm okay, this is nice it's just quick. My brain hasn't really woken up yet, I keep having to remind myself that it's just you and I'm okay." I try to explain, my voice getting quieter and quieter throughout my sentence.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. It's okay. But you first." I say with a small smile, climbing up until I'm hovering over her. "This should give my brain a little time to catch up."
I lean downward and place my lips on hers. The kissing stays slow this time and I can see Arizona wondering where to put her hands, she is worried about me.
"It's okay, you can touch, just slow. I'm okay, I promise." I explain with my forehead resting on hers. She lifts her arms, placing her hands lightly on my waist. The contact causes butterflies in my stomach.
"This okay?"
"Perfect. You're perfect." I state simply, lifting my head to look at her body. "You're too beautiful, makes my brain mushy…"
"I think you need to work on your sweet talking, babe." Arizona explains with a grin.
"Did I just say that outloud?" I realise a little too late when Arizona starts laughing and shaking her head at me.
"Afraid so. Mushy though? Really? Isn't that the dragon in Mulan?"
"That would be Mushu. Besides, I'm still sleepy, you can't blame me."
"I can and I will." Arizona laughs.
"Shut up." I instruct, trying to keep my face as straight as possible.
"Make me." my girlfriend responds, raising her eyebrow and I lean in to kiss her once again. My lips find their way to her chest, peppering her with gentle kisses while my fingers work on her breasts. Arizona lets out a shaky breath when I suck a little, leaving several love bites on her body.
My right hand wanders lower down her body, slipping inside her underwear to rub soft circles on her clit. She moans softly at my actions. "Amelia, please." she begs, trying her hardest to be quiet as to not wake the sleeping 10 year old in the next room. I wander my fingers a little lower, slipping a finger inside her warm entrance. After a few slow thrusts, I add a second finger. I feel her hands grip tighter to my sides at my actions. She lets out a low content hum and I catch her eyes looking directly at my face.
"What do you need?"
"F-faster."
I pick up my speed a little, stretching my thumb to reach her swollen bundle of nerves. Her nails dig into my back as she grips even tighter. I lean down, latching my lips to her skin as my hand continues to work. I suck gently at her chest, gradually moving around the area to ensure I pay attention to her whole body. Her right hand makes its way to my hair as I suckle lightly on her breast.
"Amy" she moans lightly, and I look up at her face. The hazy glint in her eyes tells me she is close. I pick up my speed a little more, making sure to keep the circles on her clit constant. It only takes a few moments before Arizona's orgasm takes over. Her already tight walls clench around my fingers causing my thrusts to slow but I continue my circles until pleasure comes to a halt.
"Wow. That was, wow." My girlfriend pants,
"I love you. You're so pretty." I say simply as Arizona brings her head closer to mine, softly kissing my lips.
"As are you Amelia, you are perfect to me. Can I touch you?"
"Yeah. I'm okay." I nod, taking my lip between my teeth and grinning a little, waiting for Arizona to continue.
Arizona makes love to me. She worships my body, taking her time to ensure I enjoy every moment. I've never known anyone so caring, so willing to give for my happiness. All of her moves are carefully thought out to allow me to experience ultimate pleasure. She teases for what seems like eternity before helping me through one of the best orgasms of my life.
She lifts her fingers to her mouth, sensually cleaning up my juices from her hand. I roll out from underneath her, moving so we are laying side by side. I reach out my hand and cup her face, pulling her closer to me to kiss her.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Arizona asks genuinely, wrapping her arms securely around my body as I rest my head on her chest.
"Everything. The sex, our life, loving me, respecting my non-birthday. Just everything."
"It is my pleasure." My girlfriend responds, planting a light kiss on the top of my head. "Speaking of your non-birthday, do you want your gift now? Before Sofia is up?"
"Okay?" I respond, waiting for her to move. She rolls over a little, twisting to open her bedside table and passes me a small box. When I open it, I see a simple necklace with two tiny gems combined in a teardrop shaped charm.
"They're our birthstones. The yellow is me, and the emerald is you." Arizona explains nervously. "I'm sorry if it's too much I just-"
"Arizona stop. I love it, I love you." I tell her, taking the jewellery out of the box and opening the clasp, passing the two ends back to her so she can fasten it for me.
"It looks good on you. You should wear nothing but a necklace more often." She jokes and I shake my head with a grin.
"You wish."
"I really do."
Arizona POV
It's been a long day. Since getting home from the theatre, I have felt completely and utterly exhausted. Amelia offered to keep Sofia company while I have a shower, giving me a little time to myself. I am about to head back to the living room in my pyjamas when Amelia's phone that she left on change begins to vibrate. I pick it up to see Addison is calling. It makes sense, Amelia had said she calls every year to wish her a happy birthday.
I swipe to answer the call, bringing the phone to my ear.
"Hi, it's Arizona, let me go find Amelia for you." I state simply down the phone.
"Not a problem, she told me she was busy this afternoon so to call this evening."
"Yeah, we went to the theatre with Sofia, who is apparently beating Amelia at a cake eating competition right now…" I state, perplexed at the sight as I walk into the kitchen seeing both of them with mouths full of birthday cake, their faces coated in the chocolate icing.
"She let you get her a cake?" Addison asks, clearly a little taken aback at the concept.
"Not exactly, it's Sofia's from yesterday. Hold on, I'm sending you a picture." I tell the redheaded surgeon on the other line, snapping a picture of my girlfriend and our daughter, much to Amelia's dismay. "Addison is on the phone when you've finished whatever this is." I tell my girlfriend with a grin.
Amelia holds up her finger, indicating she needs a minute and I step out of the room with the phone.
"She needs a minute to clean up. But no, it's not her cake. She did let me light a candle in a single slice last night after Sofia was in bed." I explain to Addison, answering the question I was unable to answer in front of Sofia.
"I'm really glad she is letting you in, she's lucky to have you, Arizona."
"Thanks, I uh, I'm just as lucky to have her." I add, unsure what else to say. "She's coming now, I'll hand you over." I add, passing the phone to my girlfriend who greets her sister with a huge smile still plastered on her face.
The smile on Amelia's face right now, the laughter coming from the kitchen just moments ago, the love that fills the apartment. I get it. This is what Amelia wanted for her birthday. She just wanted to give joy and feel love. I think I finally understand. She didn't want presents or cake, she just wanted not to be alone.
I spent so much of today procrastinating and writing future chapters for this fic but it's worth it. Hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading.