Chapter 85, εуλ0015
Seven years.
That was how long it had been since Meteorfall. Since a night where he and Tifa had first found love; a night, he now understood, they'd irrevocably tied their lives together.
Six years, give or take, to build their home and their family. A few more months since Seventh Heaven had been built, a few less since Denzel had been found, a sick kid wandering the streets; the boy who would make their family complete.
Five years since he'd said his last goodbye to Sephiroth, since Geostigma had been cured; since he'd finally realized it was time to have a future…
…and oh, what a future it had been.
Two years since he had pledged not just his love, but his life, to Tifa; the woman who was now his wife, and the family they'd created – together. A promise to be kept forever, to spend the rest of his life making her happy.
And still, things changed.
Another Meteorfall, celebrating life, not mourning death. Tifa still had nightmares about the plate fall; she'd wake up shaking and sweating and he'd hold her in the dark until she settled down and could go back to sleep. The same as he still had nightmares of his own – of Sephiroth taking his home, his family. But those were becoming few and far between as slowly but surely they healed.
Meanwhile, children grew.
He'd worried so much about raising Denzel; but actually, it hadn't been too bad. Step by step, he guided the boy towards manhood, education, future; and if his suspicions were right, even love.
(Denzel had spontaneously announced at dinner one night that Mina was now his girlfriend. Cloud had been startled, Tifa had gone mushy, and only Marlene seemed completely unflustered. They limited themselves to a few murmured congratulations as Denzel started to openly blush.)
As it turned out, the real problem was… Marlene.
She was about to turn twelve, and was growing quite lovely. Not to mention growing out of her dresses every week, it seemed; Cloud had made peace with the fact that both of his children were going to end up taller than he was. Growing enough that Barret had begun mumbling he'd given up the gun too soon; Cloud was relieved that he still had his swords.
Men had begun changing the way they acted around her. Politely – they treated her like a little lady now. When they started acting otherwise…
Well. He'd worry about that later.
But he could see the signs of maturing beauty in her. Almond eyes, walnut hair. Aerith's hair had been chestnut, he randomly remembered. Why were women compared to nuts? Tifa's hair was espresso, chocolate, her eyes sweet candy embers.
As she stood beside the table where he sat, he took a moment to appreciate her beauty. He knew what other men saw in her… but his favorite part of her was actually her waist and stomach. That tiny little waist, accentuating all the more her delicious curves…
"Cloud? Are you listening?" Tifa asked, confused.
He shook his head back to reality. "I'm listening."
"They're growing up way too fast, Cloud," Tifa sighed. "I'm going to have to get Marlene ready for… you know… the way her body's going to change…"
"Why? What's the big deal?" Cloud asked blankly.
Tifa for a moment had that wilting expression she gave him when he'd missed something really, really obvious… then suddenly changed her tone.
"Have I told you lately that I love you, Cloud?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she turned to leave the room, humming softly.
Cloud was left staring after her. I have no idea what I just did right.
But in any case, his family was moving forward. And so was he.
The sun rained down from above, as Marlene casually brushed the dust from her pants. Unused to the stifling heat, she found it binding, claustrophobic. She'd never actually known how hot Corel was.
After all, this was her first trip here… to the place she would have grown up.
She looked down the hill to where Barret met with his workers, down where oil rigs were being decommissioned. They were in the process of transition; the WRO was rapidly developing biofuels, but Corel had spent the past several years rejuvenating itself off of its supply of oil. Barret had been adamant that Corel not be left in the dust, so to speak, and Reeve had calmly suggested they begin to build up Corel as a base for biofuel operations.
M was still back in Edge. She'd put her foot down, that Corel was not her favorite place to be. She was a city girl, she'd said; but as much as she hated the dry desert of Corel, she'd become a fairly constant companion on Barret's other trips.
Marlene was please; she liked the woman, liked that her dad had someone now; and though M wasn't exactly the maternal type, Marlene was old enough that they'd been able to bond, woman to woman.
(M had told her a few things that Tifa would be too shy to ever say; Marlene had neatly filed them away in her mind for later. Though she still wasn't certain how she felt about what men and women did together… it didn't sound as bad as it once had.)
The group below separated, and Barret ambled back up the hill to join his daughter. "Taking in the view?" he asked.
"Yeah," Marlene answered. The town below was flourishing now, the same way Edge had once been just the seeds of a city. There was hope for it yet.
He put his arm around his daughter as they watched the nascent city caught bu the rays of the setting sun. "This might have been your home," Barret said softly.
"I know," Marlene half-whispered.
There was a long moment of silence between them. Marlene decided this was as good a time as any. "Papa, why didn't you tell me I was adopted?"
Barret flinched in surprise. "Marlene, you've known that all along – "
"No," Marlene interrupted. "Before then. Why didn't you tell me that Elanor and Dyne weren't my birth parents?"
She was sad that she'd never gotten to know them. The people she was supposed to have grown up with, taken away by Shinra's power. But then, she'd have a different home, a different life… and maybe it wouldn't have been a life that would have prepared her for the responsibilities she would have to face.
Understanding seemed to come faster now, a little more every day; her mother had told her to expect that as she became a woman. Their quiet meetings across the Lifestream were ever easier to reach; her father could often join as well. And sometimes, it would be just the two of them, sipping tea in a field of flowers, in a world that wasn't truly real, but at the same time was as tangible as anything else she had experienced, riding on that sea of memories to buoy them up.
That was the power of the Lifestream.
Barret cleared his throat awkwardly. He had no ide how Marlene had found out; but he'd begun to realize his daughter often knew things he couldn't account for.
But did he, of all people, need to be told Marlene was a special child?
The day he'd found her in the rubble, by the cold body of Eleanor… not that he wasn't grateful… but how had Marlene been lucky enough to survive?
"I didn't expect," Barret began. "I mean… how could I have predicted…" What had happened to Corel. What had happened to his wife. "I guess it didn't feel like it was important. Eleanor and Dyne were planning to love you as their own. Same as me." He hugged his little girl tighter, unwilling to admit she wouldn't be a girl much longer.
Marlene was silent for a moment. The question really wasn't fair to Barret… but at the same time, she had to know. She needed to ask him more, about the lives she'd missed. The same as her parents… she had to mourn the might-have-been, even as she found joy in the life she had.
And she had her own secrets. But it wasn't time to tell Barret, not yet. Nor Cloud and Tifa… she'd know when the time was right. Denzel knew, of course, but for now, that knowledge would stay between the two of them.
Today was not that day. For now, she'd just enjoy the time with her Papa, the man who had rescued her and raised her from a baby. The rest could wait.
They'd made it seven years; seven blissful years of love with Cloud, growing closer every day, more and more sure he was the one she wanted to spend her life with.
It continually surprised Tifa how Cloud seemed oblivious to the fact that he was attractive to women. She herself had moments when she was just amazed by him, amazed that this wonderful man was hers, and hers for keeps. And sometimes she'd see him just step back and admire her, leaving her loving those little moments of magic.
What woman wouldn't want her man to lust after her like that?
Zack and Aerith, she wondered sometimes. Were they doomed from the start? A SOLDIER, an Ancient, tied to their destinies.
Meanwhile, she and Cloud were the survivors. Two ordinary people thrust into adventures by chance and coincidence, bringing them to the life they had now.
And then there were the children. Marlene and Denzel, hitting adolescence, giving she and Cloud a chance to revisit their own; to watch them growing up free of the burdens their parents had suffered. It was the children, most of all, who kept the relationship growing, changing.
She fingered the wolf ring she still wore. There was just one thing that left her heart breaking inside.
Months after months, and still the baby she desperately wanted didn't appear. And she couldn't share her woe with Cloud; not since she'd made the decision on her own. How could she tell him she'd gone behind his back?
She now anxiously saw every lovemaking session as another most chance, another missed opportunity. She found herself flinching every time he touched her, worried that she'd end up disappointed all over again.
It was starting to affect Cloud, too. She could see the hurt in his eyes every time she shrank from his attention. Their sex life was fizzling down to nothing, and she knew it was all her fault.
The final straw came one day when she pulled away from him burying kisses into her neck. She turned back to look at him, and the hurt was undeniable - oh, the hurt in his eyes – but at the same time, there was an even worse calm of acceptance that frightened her more than anything.
"Tifa," he began, "sit down." His voice was flat, unemotional; and she wondered if the worst had come to pass – had he finally stopped loving her?
She plopped behind her on the bed; he sat in the chair across from her, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. "Tifa, I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth."
Tifa nodded, hunched into herself; ashamed and ready for anything. Anger, sadness, she probably deserved it all.
But she couldn't have been more surprised at what came out of his mouth.
"Tifa," he began carefully, "do you want to leave me?"
Tears came welling up, as it truly hit her how deeply she'd been hurting him. His eyes, sad, drained, dreading the answer she might give. It was one thing for her to be upset… but if it was falling on Cloud as well, she had to put a stop to it.
"No, no," she burbled out guiltily. "It's not you, it's me…"
He looked unconvinced, her poor lovely Cloud, so eager to take the blame upon himself. He'd done enough of that. She couldn't let him go into that dark hole again.
"How can I help?" he asked, reaching one hand towards her in offering.
"It's just… a woman thing," she finally answered. He still looked doubtful. "I might go talk to Elmyra," the inspiration suddenly hit her. "You know, take Marlene to Kalm for the day. We haven't been there in a while. Tomorrow, maybe. Tale the train." The WRO had finally established transportation between Edge and Kalm, a bullet train that, though not as fast as Fenrir, could still get them there in a couple hours. Tifa had yet to try it; now seemed like the time.
Cloud rose, nodding, slowly leaving the room without a word. Heavy hearted, Tifa watched him go, wishing she could find any words of comfort.
The next day dawned. Denzel had practically run out the door to go study with Mina – Tifa wondered how much "studying" was actually being done – leaving Marlene with Cloud and Tifa at breakfast.
Plates clattered as Tifa finished the cooking, while Marlene and Cloud set the table. Finally, when they were all sitting down together, Tifa brought up her idea. "Marlene, how would you feel about a trip to Kalm today?"
Marlene dropped her fork in excitement. "To go visit Grandmother? Do we get to take the train? When do we go?" She practically bounced in her chair with enthusiasm.
"Yes, Marlene. We can leave pretty soon after breakfast." They finished the meal with relative silence from Cloud and Tifa while Marlene chattered along happily, filling the otherwise quiet.
Meal done, Cloud got up to head to his day at the WRO. He and Tifa murmured awkward goodbyes to each other; he seemed about to leave her with a kiss, but hesitated. As he left, Tifa became ever more determined to fix things between them by that night.
She had a couple hours to contemplate further as the WRO train sailed through the wastes. Marlene was glued to the window as the landscape transitioned to the relative green surrounding Kalm; Tifa noted the scenery only distantly, thinking, thinking.
She didn't truly begin to get out of her head until they knocked on the door to Elmyra's familiar house, and Elmyra opened the door wide with a smile and delicious smells of whatever she'd made for lunch. She greeted Marlene and Tifa both with warm hugs before welcoming them inside and escorting them to the table.
"Your flowers are doing well, Marlene," Elmyra noted. "Didn't you notice?"
"I'm growing them at home, too! Marlene proudly announced. "On our roof. I started with the yellow once, but now I have lots of other kinds, too!"
"They really are doing well," Tifa agreed. "I was kind of surprised."
Elmyra said nothing, only seemed to be thinking.
Lunch over, Marlene asked to be excused to visit friends, then scampered out the door. "She still knows a lot of people here," Elmyra explained.
"She makes friends easily," Tifa agreed.
There was a hint of sadness in Tifa's voice, and Elmyra wondered – if there was almost a bit of jealousy. Elmyra knew Tifa didn't have many true friends; and fewer still were women, and Elmyra more or less knew why. There was only so much truth Tifa could tell; some secrets had to be held close.
Elmyra knew she was one of the few Tifa trusted, and that was likely what had brought Tifa here today.
"So what's bothering you, Tifa?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" Tifa answered, flustered.
"You've been distracted the whole time you've been here," Elmyra said. "I'm not blind. Is there trouble between you and Cloud?"
"Not really. Sort of," Tifa hedged, but Elmyra's eyes showed she knew Tifa wasn't telling the whole truth. The weight of that gaze finally wore Tifa down, and suddenly all her fears and sadness roared to the surface.
"I can't have children," she choked out, bursting into sobs. Barren. The word she'd been avoiding, a fate she'd been dreading, and with a wave of relief, the whole story was spilling out as fast as she could form the words.
"And now I can't tell him because I've lied to him and what if he doesn't want me if I tell him the truth…"
Elmyra listened closely as Tifa poured out her pain. She wondered why Tifa assumed it was her and not Cloud; why she didn't question whether or not mako would leave Cloud able to have children. Unfortunately, Elmyra knew the answer, but she couldn't explain to Tifa how she knew, why she suspected it probably was Tifa; all she could do was wait out Tifa's sobs.
Finally the flood began to dry; as Tifa wiped the snot away from her nose, she seemed to look… a little better, some sort of catharsis reached. With that, Elmyra carefully began.
"I had a happy marriage, even though I couldn't have children," she told Tifa softly. "And I learned to love Aerith as my own."
Tifa sniffled, but she was listening.
"You have lovely children," Elmyra continued, not without noting the irony. Tifa raising Aerith's daughter, a neat parallel to Elmyra's own life; Elmyra hoped dearly Marlene would have the long life her parents were denied. "Why not just enjoy what you have?"
"I've been hurting Cloud, too," Tifa admitted. "I've been rejecting him…"
"He'll forgive you for it," Elmyra assured her. "You have a wonderful man. Why not let it go? If you end up conceiving, wonderful, but in the meantime, don't let it get in the way of your intimacy. Your love. Things can be taken away so easily…" and as Elmyra's voice grew distant, Tifa realized she was no longer talking about Cloud.
Suddenly, she felt ashamed. She knew all too well how easily loss, tragedy could sneak up on a person. Who was she to deny what she had?
She was ready to go home to her love. Her Cloud.
Cloud returned home, dispirited. He knew Tifa was suffering… and he didn't know why. She was his wife, her happiness was his responsibility; and he was failing, failing once again, with no idea what to do about it.
Opening the door, he was greeted by an eerily empty house. Today was one of the days the bar was closed, but he'd expected to at least hear Marlene and Denzel's voices. Instead, there was no one to be seen – no children, and especially no Tifa.
He clomped up the stairs to the bedroom, still wondering what he could do to solve the problem – until he opened the door and Tifa practically slammed into him, throwing her arms around his neck.
He just stood there in shock, but was hardly complaining as she covered his face and neck with kisses. "I'm sorry," she whispered into his ear.
"It's okay," he told her, even as they were instinctively moving towards their bed. She nearly ripped his shirt over his head; his hands were already reaching for her, zippers, buttons, clothing dropping in a trail along the floor.
"It's not okay," she argued. "Let me make it up to you – " and she leaned back, trying to pull him on top of her, but he only shook his head.
"Let me," he half-begged, pushing her back on the bed and yanking off her last bits of clothing, her underwear. Kneeling at the foot of the bed, he threw her legs over his shoulders and, bracing her with his arms around his thighs, dove straight into her lips neatly displayed before him.
She moaned immediately as he licked her with enthusiasm, teasing her with strokes around her pussy, diving his tongues inside of her before returning to her sweet little nub. Her rising cries gave away her pleasure, making his own cock ever harder; she was close to coming immediately, giving away that she wanted this as badly as he did.
Before he could finish her off, she pulled away. "Please," she asked, strained; "I want you close..."
He smiled, and eagerly crawled over her; taking her in his arms, he slid home, earning a sweet sigh from her as he began to love her slowly and deeply.
"I've missed you," he murmured. "It's been too long." Too long without being with his beautiful wife this way; too long without being able to touch her, feel her.
"I missed you, too," Tifa whispered back. "I love you, Cloud."
"I love you too, Tifa," he replied; and as she peaked and cried out, he let himself go to join her in pleasure, grateful that however it happened, he finally, finally had his Tifa back.
"What's this?" Marlene asked.
"A birthday gift," Vincent replied.
"I know that," Marlene outed, "but why this?"
Vincent watched as Marlene stroked the soft red cover of the book. LOVELESS. The famous epic, ever incomplete.
"It's…" Actually, Vincent found himself unsure what to answer. He'd found this, a used, weather-beaten copy, in a town far from Edge; an older version, with even more ancient versions still unknown. The story was still around, an integral part of the culture, but it was changing as it always did; now adding the missing fifth act as the particular writer saw fit, reflecting the events of Meteorfall and beyond.
But was that really meant to be the ending?
"It's an unfinished story," he told her. "It's for everyone to find their own ending."
Marlene said nothing, merely opening the book, stroking the yellow-colored pages, one small finger running across the bleeding lines of words. "Thank you," she finally said.
She was twelve now. A girl on the verge of becoming a woman. And as every year went by, Vincent felt more powerfully the need to protect this precious child, orphaned by what he believed to be his son's blade. His charge unspoken; even as Cloud and Tifa raised her along with Barret, Vincent watched her as he could, determined to give her the chance in life she deserved.
In many ways, she was his counterpoint. Her purity to the blood on his hands. He involuntarily stroked the handle of Cerberus, his eternal companion. He'd once hid from life, until circumstance forced him to join the fight; until Meteorfall had left them all wondering if it was worth the love they'd lost, the sacrifices that had been made.
But now, seeing Marlene, her eyes, her smile, he found part of the answer. And whether she knew it or not, he'd shield her to his dying day.
And the would be such a day now. He was free, free of the demons that had infested him; giving him the curse of eternal life, endless pain. But like Cloud, he was still forever changed, in ways that neither man fully understood. It would play out over time, but the only thing he was certain of was, that would be a long time still.
And Marlene as well would have the long life her mother and grandmother had so cruelly cut short.
Marlene cocked her head, a little shyly, a little coyly. "So I'm supposed to find the ending?"
"We all are," he told her. "We all have to find our own way."
Marlene only smiled.
The man was unassuming, nondescript. Tifa gave him the same warmth as any other customer.
That is, until he produced the voucher.
Tifa remembered immediately, though it had been years. She was honestly surprised he hadn't shown up before this, with a lifetime voucher to Seventh Heaven, and she told him as much.
The man chuckled. "I travel around a lot," he told her. "I haven't been in this area for quite some time, in fact.
"That sounds like my master, Zangan," Tifa told him. "He can never sit still either." Truthfully, she was missing Zangan; it had been a while. He visited sporadically and without warning, something Tifa had come to expect.
("I try to come at least for the kids," he had told Tifa on his last visit; and true enough, Marlene and Denzel clambered all over each other in awe whenever he stopped in.)
"Cloud will be home soon," Tifa told the Traveler. "Will you stick around until then?"
"I should at least say hello," Traveler agreed.
Sure enough, within the hour, Cloud came through the door. He'd been out in the field, something he much preferred to working at WRO headquarters itself; but even so, he was grateful overnight trips were largely gone. Nowadays, he was glad to come home to his family, grateful to fall asleep every night with his wife in his arms. It just wasn't the same without her.
Looking over, he was surprised to recognize the man Tifa was talking to. A face he'd nearly forgotten. Walking over, he offered his hand.
"Finally taking advantage?" Cloud asked.
Traveler lifted his drink by way of answer. "It's as good as you said. I might have to make my way over here more often."
"You're always welcome," Cloud replied.
"How's the bike running, by the way?"
"Beautifully as ever. I run it almost exclusively off biofuels now," he said, sitting down and putting an arm around Tifa. "Well worth the price."
"That bike's practically another member of our household," Tifa added.
Traveler turned his eyes on Tifa. "You've got a good man here, you know."
"" I know," Tifa said, squeezing his hand under the table.
The dinner hour dragged on, and the bar began to fill. "You sure you don't want to stay a night with us?" Tifa offered.
"I've already got an inn room booked, but thank you," Traveler replied. "Going to get an early start in the morning." He wished them a good night, and departed with promises to return… sometime.
As the door closed behind him, Tifa turned to Cloud, sliding her arms around his neck. "Like I needed to be told I have the best man for a husband."
Cloud's only response was a smile and a kiss.
Lying in the dark, he stroked her spine down to her rear, tracing the precious contours of her body. The woman flush in his arms, in blissful sleep after yet another night of passion; he relished for a few minutes more the pleasure of their bodies near, bright blonde hair meshed with long streaming dark.
But eventually, Tseng had to get up.
His sleep was not so tranquil as hers. Never mind that it was nearly every night now that she was in his bed, crying out his name as he whispered iloveyouiloveyou, no longer ashamed. He'd given in to the one who'd grasped his heart; despite his every doubt, his every thought to keep her away, he could no longer deny that he was truly, madly, deeply in love with Elena.
Was there marriage in their future? Was that where they were headed? It was a concept he'd once refuted as impossible for a Turk, and before Sephiroth's demise, it very well would have been.
But now.. maybe it was safe.
He'd have to think some more.
He rose, naked, unabashed, walking to the office of his apartment at Healen. Reaching into the bottom drawer, he touched the secret spots which opened the hidden compartment within, and pulled out the treasure inside.
The letters. Still wrapped in the same tape that had secured them all this time. Eighty-eight of them that he'd promised to deliver; eighty-eight that had been in his hands as he'd soared over the Midgar wastes in a Turk helicopter, bearing down moments too late on the hill where Zack Fair lost his life.
A debt he could never repay.
And with Aerith's death, another chance gone. Was redemption never to be his?
Marlene, he watched. He owed a debt to Cloud too, yes; but the man had been able to grow and change; if not to move past completely, to find a family, a wife. Things Tseng were only starting to hope one day might be his.
But Marlene was growing up, not so terribly far from the young woman her mother had been, the day she'd met her father and set those inevitable wheels of fate in motion. And if Tseng had his way, she'd have her chance to live the life Aerith didn't.
And as he stood there in the dark, stroking the nondescript box, he couldn't help but wonder… Was his life worth it? All the things he'd done thinking they were right.
All the things he'd done wrong.
And one final question remained…
Was it time to give her the letters?
Days off were precious. More so, days off together. He and Tifa had worked hard to get to the point where they were, if not exactly wealthy, at least comfortably well-off; able to sacrifice some income for the sake of spending time together.
Cloud scrubbed down in the shower, ready to enjoy some time alone with Tifa. The kids had left for the day; they increasingly had their own friends, their own lives. Growing up under his eye, faster than he would have wished. Marlene had friends all over the neighborhood – she seemed to have a particular affinity for those who had once had Geostigma; children who would now have a chance to grow up, live their lives.
And Denzel, age fourteen, was absolutely besotted wit Mina; shy Mina, who luckily seemed to reciprocate his feelings. It warmed Cloud's heart to see, remembering another boy in love with a girl, the same age as Denzel was now, making a promise to that girl above a water tower, a promise to be there for her always.
A boy who had never imagined that same girl would now be his wife. That she would one day return his feelings just as intensely; it still sometimes came as a surprise to him.
But Denzel – Denzel would not have to slay any monsters for the girl he loved. The future was wide open for the two of them to be whatever they liked. That was the future he and Tifa had fought for, and he finally was able to see it coming to fruition.
His mind was still following that train of through as he exited into the bedroom – and thought came to a screeching halt as he dropped his towel in surprise.
Tifa waited on the bed, wearing his sweater.
And absolutely nothing else.
Wordlessly, he sat on the bed next to her; she leaned in, offering him sweet kisses that he readily accepted. Impulsively, he reached for the shirt's zipper, sliding it down slowly to leave her delicious breasts just on the verge of popping out.
Smiling, Tifa pushed him back down on the bed; before he could pull the shirt over her head she was moving, sliding downwards, and he felt the warm wetness of her mouth enclose him. He groaned as she sucked him deeply – Shiva, she'd gotten good at this! – and his body responded voraciously, his excitement mounting and spiking.
He was tempted to just lie back and let her finish him off – but he wanted something more. Wanted to see her, wanted to watch her taking her own pleasure. He reached down for her hands, tugging her upwards, tearing off the offending shirt to see her in her full naked glory as she rode his cock to her own completion.
She threw her head back as she hit her own climax; he held out until he felt the familiar squeezing of her strong muscles, shouting out as they came together, the way that gave them both the most pleasure. Spent, she collapsed forward as he softened and slid out, his warm fluids intermingled with hers dripping out and neither caring that the blanket would have to be washed yet again. She curled up against him with soft love-lust in her eyes.
He held her as she fell softly into sleep, allowing her much-needed rest.
"Marlene was right," Mina noted. "The flowers really are growing."
They were visiting Shun's grave again. They came here often, not on any particular occasion, just when Mina felt the need. And Denzel always, always came with her.
It wasn't just the flowers that were growing. The mako contamination was receding, leaving the area where Geostigma dead were buried slowly growing green once again.
For Mina's sake, Denzel was glad to see it. He knew how much pain it had caused Mina to have her brother buried in such a miserable place. At least this way she could have some sort of closure, some way of coming to terms.
It wasn't just the legacy of the past they had to deal with. The two of them were experiencing the beginnings of the awakenings Marlene had warned them about – and they still didn't know everything that would entail; Marlene could only tell them so much. Visions, memories surfacing from the Lifestream. The ability to nudge a mood, to heal at a touch. Small steps, likely to become bigger.
But at least, they had each other to count on.
"I miss him so much," Mina blurted out. "He was the same age as Marlene. He'd be twelve now… I'll never know what he might have been like…" She descended into wordless, shaking sobs.
There was nothing else to do. Denzel could only walk over and take her in his arms.
She was a year and a half older, but she'd stop growing, just a bit shorter than Tifa; Denzel was shooting up taller and taller than she. He offered her his lean solidity, as she gripped his shoulders and cried her pain into his chest.
Time drew out, and tears abated. Mina sniffled slightly, but finally lifted her face to look at him – and he met those eyes. Those deep brown eyes, the faintest glow mirroring his own, nearly invisible unless it was something you were expecting to find.
Her eyes were red and puffy, but she offered him one of her sweet, shy smiles- and out of nowhere, the words just came out.
"Mina, I love you."
Tifa woke up to a pleasant smell, and opening her eyes, an even pleasanter sight.
Cloud smiled, his eyes already wide and awake. "Coffee," he stated the obvious. "It's an early day for me. Didn't want to wake you before I left."
Coffee in bed had become their personal routine. On days he worked, Cloud had the earlier hours; even on days he didn't, he was the earlier riser. He made breakfast for the kids, the one meal Tifa was assured he couldn't screw up; anything more elaborate than oatmeal or scrambled eggs was becoming Denzel's domain. Tifa had the later hours, so he'd let her sleep, but coffee was the one little thing he could leave her as a memento of him; she didn't take milk, so it wouldn't go sour if it sat; nothing but luchile nut syrup, so even if it was cold, she'd still wake up with a sweet, caffeinated beverage to start her day with.
"Hi," she greeted him, a half-lidded smile. "It's okay, I feel pretty well-rested." She stretched her arms for emphasis.
He especially loved doing this on the mornings after they made love. He'd leave her satisfied with touches of lips and fingers, filling her with his cock, and after she'd drop right off into peaceful sleep. He'd been very surprised when he'd heard women in the bar complaining to Tifa about how men always fell asleep first. He'd figured it was the mako in his system that let him stay politely awake – but as for her –
"I just feel so safe when I'm sleeping next to you," she'd said when he asked her. "It's just so easy to fall asleep right away." He'd smiled at that.
"How long is this trip for?" she asked.
"A short overnighter. Back tomorrow night." A WRO trip this time; deliveries were in the past. He wrote his own schedule, leaving himself time off to spend any way that was best for his family. "Reeve promised me a bonus for this one."
Tifa paused, considering. She knew as well as he that they hardly needed the money, but she wasn't blind to his occasional need to be on the road.
Third Eye was doing quite well. Even better than they had expected. Tifa had known she was taking a risk with a place more expensive, but as Edge became more settled and more secure, the money came along, and plenty of it flowed into the new ventured. Cloud had joked she'd started a place he couldn't afford to take her himself; she had only smirked and said maybe she could pull some strings with the owner.
She'd been pushing ahead with her business plan for Foursquare, planning to return to her roots and make it homey, welcoming, family-oriented, but in a much larger space. Second Chances, her outdoor spot, had become nearly as much of an institution as Seventh Heaven itself. Greenery helped – cacti were the only things that would grow there at first, but flowers and trees were beginning to grow all over Edge; meanwhile, the church seemed willing to provide enough flowers for her table vases.
(Aerith's stake in the business, Tifa had thought with a smile; guess I have a silent partner.)
And as for the original Seventh Heaven – it had evolved to become a true extension of the home itself. The core clientele were regulars, the sleaze having depleted over the years, departing for dirtier joints – and now, instead of men ready to fight him for Tifa, Cloud had to deal with a bar full of men ready to kick his ass if he ever treated her wrong.
They'd bring in children, too – many born since Meteorfall – just to introduce them to Tifa and see her smiling approval. Though Tifa didn't work that many days anymore; she'd put together a staff whom she trusted and whom the customers liked, well, nearly as much as her.
She worked some days more for the social contact than anything else, but she never closed the bar anymore, finishing at nine or ten the absolute latest. Cloud enjoyed being able to have her to himself in the evenings, enjoying a late dinner, a drink in the bar or in private, an intimate encounter or just a simple cuddle on the couch.
After all they had been through – it was finally a pleasant life that they were leading.
Cloud cleared his throat. "Well, since you're awake already – " He paused. "I was going to talk to you about this tomorrow night, but maybe I should bring it up now."
Tifa touched his cheek. "What's on your mind?"
"Well… I spend my days off trying to help you with the bars." As needed, which honestly wasn't much.
"You don't have to do that – " Tifa automatically deflected, then realized how that sounded – "but I love that you do it for me."
"Well, you're right. You really don't need the help," he continued. "I was thinking – you know Reeve's been on me about joining the WRO full time – " He stopped, considering. "I mean, selling the delivery service. Not just managing it from home. I mean giving it up altogether." He took one more deep breath. "Reeve's ready to integrate it fully with the WRO. And pay for it."
The WRO. Reeve, naturally, had been pursuing them both forever. Tifa supposed she herself would be affiliated in some capacity eventually – maybe she was being selfish, wanting to hide at home just a bit longer. "We don't need money, if that's what you're thinking, Cloud," she assured him. "We don't pay rent, we have all our basic necessities, and Reeve is adamant about keeping schooling free for anyone with enough talent."
"It's not that," Cloud told her. "I guess… okay, maybe it's not as dramatic as what we did before. Going after Sephiroth, Meteor. But I feel like I want to be doing something for the new world. Besides, here we are, you're expanding, and my business is becoming obsolete." He coughed a laugh. "You know, once I felt like, fuck the world, I just wanted our little family to be together. But now… something's changed. Maybe it's because of the kids. You know, a better future for them?" He looked to her for approval.
She did know. The children had made such a difference to them - Marlene, Denzel, the ones she still hoped to have – but more than that, it was the part of Cloud that still wanted to be a hero. A true hero – a protector. "What does Reeve want you to do?"
"Well, defense, of course. He'd planned that all along," Cloud replied. "But other things, expanding on what I've already been doing there. Supply lines, commerce. I told him I didn't know anything. Not like I went to school like Cid did. He said it wasn't book knowledge he was looking for."
Tifa considered that. "Reeve's always been good about utilizing the talent he sees," she said. "So, did you give him an answer?"
"I told him I'd have to talk about it with my wife."
That took Tifa a little by surprise. "Husband" and "wife" were mostly private terms; after mentioning it to a handful of friends and customers, it had sort of become something simply understood by the two of them. No need to make a big deal of it elsewhere.
And with Reeve as busy as he was – they'd never really gotten around to telling the WRO commissioner.
"Did you actually say – wife? How did he react to that?"
"Didn't say anything. But you know Reeve. You could see the questions in his face." Cloud chuckled. "I think the first thing he wanted to ask was, it's Tifa, right?" His face provided his warm answer. As if I meant anyone else. "I think his second question was what happened to his invitation. Couldn't really have blamed that on the delivery service."
Tifa couldn't resist him when he was playful like this. She propped herself up on one elbow, her other hand pulling him to her for a quite thorough kiss. Enough to get him through the next thirty-six hours, anyway.
He left her with a gentle smile. She closed her eyes, snuggling into the sheets for an hour or two more, that liquid reminder of his presence rapidly cooling – but the important thing was, she knew that it was there.
She couldn't tell them everything, not yet.
How could she, when she had yet to experience it herself?
Marlene passed along as much information as she could; Denzel knew about her meetings with Aerith in the Lifestream. She wouldn't have kept it from her brother in any case, but Denzel's approaching abilities made it that much more urgent.
But even after they'd discussed it, neither of them could bring themselves to tell Cloud and Tifa. Not yet. Not when they'd finally found some happiness, some peace.
Which made it both easier and harder for what else she needed to do.
"I'm amazed what you've done with the flowers," Cloud told her.
"I don't do much, really," Marlene insisted. "They tell me what they need."
Cloud looked at her strangely for a moment. "Aerith said something like that once. She said the flowers have something to tell us."
I know. Mother told me herself. But of course, she couldn't tell Cloud that. "What do you think they're saying?"
Cloud was silent for a moment, thinking. I don't know, was what he wanted to say. But wasn't there something? A faint sort of tingle whenever he came up here with Marlene. The same he sometimes felt when he saw his friends, his family.
The same he sometimes felt when he touched Tifa in their most poignant moments of making love, breathing out the soft consonants of her name, something like a cloud. A name that started out strong and ended delicate, much like the woman he loved.
"I don't know," he finally said aloud.
He didn't know yet, not truly – that, Marlene understood. But every time he came up here with her, she drew on all her power to make that connection just a little bit stronger.
Her mother admitted she'd made mistakes with Cloud. She'd wanted to make him forget himself… but instead Tifa taught him to remember. Aerith had tried to soften his moods… only to find him blocked, she unable to get through to him.
But that had been a different Cloud, a Cloud of long ago with everything to prove and a desperate need for forgiveness. The man he was now was a man with his heart wide open.
And it was into that heart that Marlene reached with all her power, all that she had for now. Not to change how he felt… but to let him feel more. Give him the emotions he had so long been denied.
To let him heal.
He'd need it in the years to come.
She wasn't alone the way Aerith had felt… but there were still so many things she couldn't tell. For now, she needed the flowers to help her - but that would change soon enough. Every day, she felt just a little stronger. Every day, she could feel her closer to the awakening she knew was coming.
In the meantime…
"Cloud, follow the yellow flowers," she whispered, too low for even him to hear.
The road curved before them, a sensual spiral of dirt and gravel. Tifa was pressed against his back, her warm presence keeping him company over the long miles, her absolute trust in him giving him faith,
This trip had been a long time coming. Something he'd promised her years ago, and was finally making good on. Fenrir's roar beneath them, sailing them through the landscape towards their destination.
The ocean loomed before them.
Summer was long gone, but here, south of Junon, it was still warm as they unpacked the bags, the tent. They hadn't camped out together since… well, since they were pursuing Sephiroth around the world. He'd crashed on the side of the road many times during his years of deliveries, but he'd never thought to take Tifa with him.
Now, as he watched her staring at the ocean in fascination, he wondered why.
Together, they put the tent up, just at the border where grass met sand on a sloping decline to the ocean. In quiet company, they built a fire, only truly relaxing as they had the beginnings of dinner ready beside it.
Tifa leaned back against him, sighing in contentment. Cloud wrapped his arms warmly around her as she went limp, relishing as always the simple pleasure of this woman in his arms, and the knowledge she was his.
The sun was over its peak, but still high in the sky. Neither wanted to move; just wanted to enjoy the moment, sharing it with each other.
Suddenly, Tifa leapt up. "Look!" she cried out, running to the shore, heedless as waves washed over her boots. Curious, Cloud stood and walked to join her, his eyes following where she was pointing.
He saw.
Dolphins.
A whole pod of them, frolicking, playing. Tifa squealed in excitement as they nosed each other, chirping.
"I wish I could be out there with them," she sighed.
"It's a bit of a swim," Cloud told her, wrapping his arms around her from behind.
"I know," Tifa told him, "but I can always dream."'
Dreams. Denied to them for so long, lost in the need for survival. But they'd struggled and made it, together.
He'd always been the dreamer. Tifa had been the grounded one. But as they'd settled into the idea of marriage, he'd begun to lead. To dream for the two of them. No longer afraid to take the reins of the relationship; finally certain he could be the man for her.
Cloud was beginning to dream again.
He dreamed of Marlene and Denzel grown up, finding their own path in life. Of the family he still longed for, the children he wanted to have with Tifa; babies of their own. Children growing up and moving on, as he and Tifa grew old together.
Some said the world was harsh for dreamers – but he couldn't stop. Always dreaming forward now – never back.
But he was also learning to live in the moment, to treasure these fleeting times before they got away from him once again.
He lost himself standing there, just staring towards the ocean. They finally sat together on the dampened sand as the sun slowly slid down the horizon, the twilight faded, and encroaching darkness made it impossible to see any more. Tifa rose with a sigh of disappointment. Cloud offered her his hand, leading her back to their small camp.
They talked idly over dinner, the small conversations that he knew Tifa loved. Rarely of the past, of Nibelheim; that was a life long gone. Instead, they talked of the future, of where they wanted to go in the new, changing world.
"I'd like to get involved with education," she told him. "Something to help out kids. Don't know if I want to be a teacher, but I want to be involved somewhere."
"That suits you," he said. "You could help get t the schools organized, maybe. You've got plenty of practice organizing a business."
He told her about the military being raised by the WRO, and how self-conscious he felt directing troops. "It just doesn't feel right to me," he told her. "I remember Zack leading troops, inspiring them. Inspiring me. I don't have that touch." He was surprised to find out that he could talk about Zack without pain; that after all these years, he could allow himself to remember only the good things about the friend that had saved his life.
The mention of Zack inevitably brought up Aerith; a topic they carefully skirted around at first, unsure if it was safe. "I miss her," Tifa admitted. "I think of her so often… what if she and Zack could still be with us…"
"They are," he assured her. "They're always there."
"How can you be so sure?" Tifa asked.
Cloud took a deep breath. Should he tell Tifa? "I saw them," he finally admitted. "In the church. The day Geostigma was cured. "He hung his head slightly. "That's how I know, Tifa. They're always watching."
Tifa reached a hand to his shoulder; her eyes were gentle, soft. Full of love. "The night I thought you died," she told him. "I remember the hours waiting, not knowing if you were coming back to me…"
"But I did," he told her, reaching to take her in his arms. "It was… Zack and Aerith sent me back. Said I didn't belong there yet. Pushed me right back out of the Lifestream."
Tifa paused, mulling that over. She'd only visited the Lifestream the one time, tumbled into a bath of mako by the earthquake that had destroyed Mideel. And she'd returned with a Cloud that was whole, with herself no worse for the journey. But the rest of her little family… they all seemed to be able to touch something she couldn't. Marlene, and increasingly Denzel, sometimes seemed a little too knowing, a little beyond their years.
And Cloud, too… Aftereffects of mako. Of Geostigma. Who knew? Who cared? He was with her, he'd come back, and that was all that mattered.
She yawned involuntarily; Cloud held her tighter. "It must be almost midnight," he said; she could only nod, and they shuffled into the shelter of the tent. Tifa stretched out full length, yawning again; Cloud lay beside her as they shed their clothes, and he pulled the blankets over them both, as he did every night at home.
She curled against him, their bodies flush, warm skin touching everywhere they could. Before she drifted off to sleep, he had only one thing to say. "I love you, Tifa."
"I love you, Cloud," she half-murmured, before she was out like a light.
He held her in the dark for a long time, thinking. How exhausted she must have been, he realized. Was she working too hard again? She didn't need to; he made plenty of money for them both. But he knew she loved her work; as much as he wanted to make her life easier, he couldn't deny her doing what she loved.
At least he could bring her out here for a little break.
Slowly he found himself yawning as well, and he settled in closer to her as sleep crept towards him also. They'd wake up to the morning sun, make love on the sand, spend a day or two near the water before they had to return once again. But for now, he would just enjoy having her near, here under the stars, as he, too, drifted away.
Zack was losing his comprehension of time.
Aerith had warned him about it of course – it happened to everyone, when they left life to join the endless current that was the Lifestream. But as his own strength grew in this liminal space, it seemed to accelerate the effect, until Zack could barely distinguish past and future, much less day or night.
"It's a river of memories," Aerith, beside him, explained. Her dress today, ever more elaborate; a shimmering pink gown scrolled across with silver and gold filigree, spilling over her hands, sweetly decorating her neck. A sheer pink train dragged behind her. As his power grew, so did hers; and her wardrobe became ever more elaborate with it, as if she wanted to somehow mark the steps along the way. "Memories don't have to be toxic. Only if you expect them to be."
"Every moment matters," Zack repeated.
Aerith smiled. "You remembered what I told you," she said.
Aerith wondered, too. The Promised Land. Both a journey long and harsh and a land of supreme joy and happiness; she now understood the apparent contradiction;. You could not have one without the other.
But what would happen on the surface? Her task had been to convince the Planet to live. Would Marlene truly be able to continue the legacy?
The beloved of the Goddess. Hero of the dawn, healer of worlds. That were the words of LOVELESS, believed by some to be the words of the ancients come down to the present; Aerith was one of those who believed.
As near as she could figure, Marlene was shaping up to be stronger than Aerith herself. She turned to look at Zack, and wondered. Would being fathered by a SOLDIER put back some of those Cetra abilities diluted within herself? There was no real precedent for SOLDIERs having children, much less a SOLDIER and a Cetra together, and even with all her abilities, all her sight, Aerith did not have an answer to this one critical question.
The gift of the Goddess.
What would Marlene become?
Or was it "destiny" that was the Planet's will?
It was something neither of them could begin to guess.
Zack couldn't always meet Marlene here; that depended largely on his daughter, changing as she grew. But he could watch easily now, watch her growing up with Cloud and Tifa, with Denzel, with Barret, with the entire family of friends. Another legacy left to his best friend.
He'd made peace with the things that had happened to him; reconciled with Cloud being the one to carry on his legacy.
It was something more than dreams and honor Cloud carried now. It was protection, it was love.
It was the proof that SOLDIERs were human after all. Not monsters – not even angels. Angels want to be human, Angeal had told him.
Cloud was ultimately, entirely human.
Just an ordinary man…
The greatest luxury of all.
So many near misses in his life. How had he never mentioned Cloud to Aerith, or Aerith to Cloud? How had he not convinced Cloud to take off that damn helmet when he had a chance?
How much might be different?
Actually, he knew. Sort of. He could get occasional glimpses of the futures – the ones that could have been, and the ones that would be – even if he couldn't always tell the difference. But enough to realize some things must be –
- and his death was one of them.
So together, he and Aerith both mourned their sorrows and experienced their joys as they could find them – knowing Marlene was in the best hands they could imagine.
At home in their bed, Tifa tossed and turned, her sleep this night disturbed.
The Midgar wastes, not as they were now, growing slowly green; but as they had been, dry and dusty and devoid of life – not even a monster to be seen.
The Buster Sword, atop the cliff. Even through the haze of dreams, Tifa knew that was wrong somehow, that it didn't belong there. But it called to her, sang to her, as she overlooked an all-too-familiar place.
She knew this cliff.
She knew why she was here.
Slowly, she inched closer to the edge of the cliff, to the awakening she knew lay past the edge. The terror rose in her throat, afraid to fall.
She knew she had to fall.
A noise from the distance, the familiar roar of Fenrir. She knew it was Cloud, coming to stop her, coming to rescue her.
But he couldn't rescue her from this.
Cloud, do you understand?
He ran to her, eyes full of fright, but she could only shake her head as she backed up towards the edge.
It's only if you understand love, that you understand absolute fear…
...and as Cloud ran for her, she let herself fall back, and by the time Cloud reached the edge, thrusting out his hand, she was already gone.
A white feather, floating in the air beside her…
Tifa woke up shaking, her heart pounding, just before she hit the ground. She reached up to her forehead to find a thin film of sweat, feeling the cold clamminess covering her body as she shivered.
A rustle beside her; Cloud waking up. He put a hand on her sweat-soaked arm, recoiling in surprise, then turning her to face him.
"What's wrong, Tifa?" he asked, all concern. "Was it the plate again?"
Just a dream…
…or was it?
She knew what she had to do.
Tifa turned to look Cloud straight in the eye. "Take me to Zack's grave."
Author's Note: And the plot chugs along! As you may have guessed by now, everything I put in here, is here for a reason. Including the sex!
Some credits here. A lot of Vincent's arc is inspired by a GMV to Within Temptation – Hand of Sorrow (search for it on you tube as "Final Fantasy 7: Hand of Sorrow (Within Temptation)"). The scene where she wears his shirt is from a drawing available at deviant art id 686495960 (not the original artist, it's a repost, but at least you can see it). Some of the stuff from the Zerith scene is inspired by a you tube video by Sleepezi, "Everything is a Memory".
And I'm really curious if anyone can identify where the last scene is from. I'll credit it next chapter.