Chapter 87, εуλ0016 (continued)
"I haven't been back here in a long time," said Barret, looking around at the walls of the church. He expected it to be more decrepit; but it was the same as he remembered it from the day Geostigma was cured; preserved in time as it were, by some unseen forces.
Maybe the Lifestream. Maybe even Aerith. He found the thought pleased him.
"I know," replied Marlene. Seven years, it had been. She, of course, had been back here often; sometimes with Cloud, but increasingly she came here alone.
But today, she'd chosen to bring her father along with her. For more reasons than one.
She wondered if Barret had even known about this church when she was a little girl. What would have happened if he had been here then? Would she have recognized anything, felt anything, even at that tender age – four years, even earlier? Or would she have been just too young to see anything but pretty flowers?
The flower. The first one she had ever seen, outside of a picture book. A flash of memory that had never faded, her earliest clear memory; an unfamiliar man in a dark uniform that clashed with a shock of wild blonde hair, bending down to give her a yellow flower, a flower that had come from here.
Had her path started that day? Or had it been the day she'd first met Aerith, who gave her the beginnings of vision that was now unfolding more rapidly than ever?
She'd begun to… see things. Things she could not have otherwise known. She saw not as an observer, a person standing there; but rather, she'd realized, she was seeing through the Lifestream itself. And as such, she could see wherever it could go.
Which, of course, was everywhere. Neither time nor space were limits. Only her own strength, her own power, placed some boundaries; a fact for which she was grateful, keeping it all from becoming too much.
She could see into this church that day, when her mother sent her great gospel raining down over Edge, taking away the stigma from the world. She remembered feeling Aerith's touch that day, but now she could see; dimly, in the background, Cloud and Kadaj fighting, desecrating the church where she now stood.
Other visions, more horrifying, ones she was scared to touch. Tubes filled with mako; angry fountains rising from the earth. Things that made her shiver, even though one day – perhaps sooner than she would have liked – she would need to face those too.
"Kinda miss the flowers, though." Barret's voice brought Marlene back to the present.
"They're growing back," Marlene assured him, pointing to the ring that surrounded the pool. Not as lush as the garden once had been, but still, the flowers had returned, poking through every crack they could. "Besides, the gave their lives willingly. For the water."
Barret only looked at her, wondering how she knew.
He remembered something Aerith had said, long ago in Cosmo Canyon. Everyone can hear the Planet. Maybe even you, Barret. If you're willing to listen. Was that was his little girl was hearing? He watched her bend to tend the flowers, straightening one her and there, other times simply brushing the petals. Could she hear?
"Papa," I have something to tell you," Marlene began, breaking his train of thought; for a moment, he wondered if she was about to confess something momentous. I'm actually the Goddess in disguise.
If only. It made as much sense as anything else he'd ever experienced.
"Oh?" was all Barret asked.
She straightened, and walked back a few steps to join him. Together, they gazed at the pool; the Buster Sword at its edge glinting softly in the sun. As if Zack and Aerith were both smiling down on them.
"Tifa told me I'm supposed to tell you I'm a woman now," she told him, one part proud, another shy.
Barret turned to look down at his little girl, with the stark realization that though she might still be his – she wasn't his little girl. And wouldn't be again. He would have to start getting through his head. A whole mix of emotions tangled his mind; pride in his daughter growing up, regret that she had to do so, worry about what came next, but most of all love, deep love, for this young lady who had blossomed like a flower under his eyes. Did Marlene even realize how much she was his reason to live?
He'd have to tell her someday. Once he found the words.
But that wasn't what came out of his mouth. His eyes narrowed. "You aren't looking at boys yet, are you?"
"Daddy!" She mock-punched his arm, knowing perfectly well that he was joking. Mostly.
Besides, boys were hardly her first concern. She was grateful Denzel had met Mina so early; able to meet her without the burdens he'd later face. Lucky to find someone with whom he could face those experiences together. For her, it hadn't been the same. She couldn't just pick some boy from the neighborhood; where could she find anyone like herself?
She had some idea about where things might lead… but it wasn't' time yet. Not for a while still.
But none of these things could she explain to Barret. Not Tifa; not even Cloud. Not until she understood things better herself. Not until she felt the time was right.
In the meantime, she'd enjoy the innocence of these days a little longer, Pretend she still was that long ago little girl, when Barret could swoop her up and carry her on his solid shoulder like she remembered; could bring her here so they could simply enjoy the flowers together.
Dawn had broken a bit before, the gentle rays of the sun streaming into the window of Cloud and Tifa's bedroom, on the third story of a bar called Seventh Heaven, in the town of Midgar's Edge.
Cloud had been awake for some time, of course. He always woke first. He had the earlier schedule, after all; had been since the days of the delivery service, now as well with the three days a week he went to the WRO. But even so, that was still hours ago, and he had an ulterior motive for wanting to be awake so early.
His reason was right beside him, still softened in peaceful sleep. Cloud loved it when he could take these previous stolen moments, when she hadn't yet woken, to lie back and simply… look at her. Just looking.
He felt the smile begin to cross his face, as he gazed at the woman that lay by his side. From the depths of her slumber, she seemed to be smiling as well; an unconscious mirror of his own smile, or a pleasant dream she lay inside? Cloud supposed it didn't really matter, as long as she was happy.
She was so many things to him. His best friend, his partner. His lover, his wife. The woman who had always been there for him; the woman who had helped him become who he was. But most of all, she was simply Tifa. Tifa, the wonderful woman who shared his life; perhaps not perfect in any way, but he gladly turned a blind eye to her faults. He loved her in every way, just for who she was.
She was the reminder that he could make love, not just war. That there were different ways to be her hero, ones he was still learning all the time.
She stirred.
Cloud made no move to awaken her, instead letting her reach the beginning of the day at her own pace. First she restlessly wriggled in the sheets, then her mouth opened in a yawn as reality began to set in; she reached her arms up, stretching, finally opening her eyes.
The first thing she saw was him.
"Good morning," he greeted her. "Sleep well?"
He arched an eyebrow suggestively, and she laughed, on the tip of her tongue the old retort that had once made her blush. Next to you, who wouldn't. Now that they slept by each other every night, it had become both a personal joke between them, as well as a nostalgia for the early days between them, before they had come to their senses and finally acknowledged the love they shared.
"Have you been up long?" she asked him.
"Just a few minutes," he told her; the clicking of their mutual gaze acknowledging that they both knew he was lying.
She squirmed over, snuggling closer to him. And though her eyes closed once again, as their arms crept around each other and they stole a few more moments more, Cloud felt at peace just knowing she was safe and warm beside him.
"What did you think of it?" Vincent asked. "Did you read it through?"
Marlene stroked the sensually soft red cover. She hadn't noticed the smaller golden letters at first, nearly worn off. "NEW COMPLETE EDITION" it said, barely legible, and below that "Presented by the Red Leather LOVELESS Study Group."
"Several times, in fact," she told him. "It was… interesting. I've never heard the story before."
Vincent said nothing, only seemed to be thinking.
She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to him about it, though. Not without giving away her own secrets. How much did he really know, she wondered? How much was he prepared to understand? Vincent's unique history gave him some comprehension – maybe even knowledge – others didn't have, but even so, there were limits.
When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end
The goddess descends from the sky…
But that had already happened, hadn't it?
Vincent had asked her if she understood… but she did, all too well. Every word.
My friend, the fates are cruel.
There are no dreams, no honor remains,
The arrow has left the bow of the Goddess.
A story of suffering she still needed to heal.
Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul..
"Cloud and Tifa still have a long road ahead of them, don't they?" she told, rather than asked.
"I know," Vincent replied. There was no need to say anything more.
Vincent would be part of that too, she knew. A mentor of sorts for Cloud. All the older men were in a way – Barret, Reeve, even Cid – but Vincent had a special bond. Things he shared with Cloud. Despite the regretful way that had come about, Marlene was grateful that something good could come out of it.
My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the Goddess
The book was written; the story was there. Composed before there had been anyone ready to hear. An early prescience, but maybe not unpredictable. A secret to be revealed to them with time.
My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber.
But that was only one journey. The true journey was far from over.
"I'm glad you let go of the gauntlet," she told him. "But why do you still wear the ribbon?"
Vincent could not answer, didn't want to explain, as Marlene fingered the worn pink strand, the one he wore when everyone else had given up theirs. His hopes that there was something Aerith could have done to heal his scares. His regrets at letting her go, leaving her to face Sephiroth. The debt he owed to her.
Was Marlene his second chance?
All his regrets, really. For so long he'd been content to let things play out the way they would. But then, he looked at Cloud. Cloud, who had fought back – reshaped things to dreams that had once seemed out of reach – and look where it had gotten him. A stable life. A loving family. A wonderful wife. All the things Vincent had assumed lost, had led him to assume the blood-red mantle of a hermit, traveling the world along with his sins.
Could sins be forgiven after all?
Marlene looked up at Vincent, at his blood red gaze that some found unnerving, but made her feel… safe. Had his eyes always been that color, she wondered? Or once had they been more like Tifa's, a warm auburn that spoke of love?
She'd have to ask him sometime, but not yet. Too soon to risk bringing up memories of Hojo. Those memories followed him enough as it was.
My friend, do you fly away now? She sent it as a silent thought to him. To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds might blow,
How easily people hated what they didn't understand.
But it was of another she now thought.
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the Goddess.
Hero of the dawn, healer of worlds.
She knew who that would be.
She locked eyes with Vincent… and she knew he understood.
Nothing needed to be said. Vincent rose and disappeared with a swirl of cloak, disappearing as abruptly as he had arrived.
It didn't matter. He'd be back. And soon enough, she'd be ready.
"Even if the morrow is barren of promises," she whispered, "nothing will forestall my return."
Some days, they could take their time, making slow languorous love. Trying this, trying that, any way they liked, making her come over and over until together they collapsed in a heap, tired and messy and happy.
Other times, they made do with what they had. Going hard and quick, in whatever few spare moments they could find; he'd had her bent over the boxes in her storeroom, right up against the wall in the hallway, a quickie under blankets in their living area below. Taking off that edge of need in any way they could find.
He supposed today they were lucky enough to at least be in bed.
Below him, Tifa panted out her pleasure, as he gave her stroke after stroke, deeper, faster. Lust igniting him as well, as he could feel and see how close they both were to the longed-for climax.
Suddenly, a deafening crash erupted from downstairs; the sounds of boxes tumbling, glass breaking, followed by distant shouts and yelling. Both their heads raised as one, sharply pulled from the reverie of their lovemaking. The delivery, Tifa suddenly remembered. It was supposed to come today. I'd forgotten all about it.
They looked at each other in disappointment, still breathing hard. "I'd better get up and check," Tifa said regretfully.
"I was so close…" Cloud grumbled. "Weren't you?"
"I lost it," Tifa admitted. "Just… go ahead and finish."
Cloud nodded, and with just a couple more thrusts, released inside her, the waves of relief washing over him. But as they slipped away and she rose from the bed, Cloud felt a gnawing knot in his stomach, a sense of something unfilled. It had been bare physical relief, not that it was nothing, but highly ungratifying compared to the usual pleasure they shared.
He could only look at Tifa apologetically as she stood there pulling on her robe, the evidence of his satisfaction leaking out and running down her leg. He offered her a nearby towel; she took it, cleaning off the last of his fluids, before heading downstairs to find out what disaster may have unfolded.
She stopped at the door and turned back to look at him. "It's okay," she told him. "We'll make it up for it later."
Cloud only sighed as she left, turning onto his back and slamming his head down on the pillow. Below him, his penis softened for the moment but still twitched, wanting the coupling he had so deeply craved, that sublime connection he shared with Tifa, only Tifa.
Sure, sometimes they just fucked. Both of them on the same wavelength, indulging in pure animal need, the dirty words just flowing as she told him to go harder, faster, use her as roughly as he liked. He'd been so careful with her at first, in the early days of their relationship… but he remembered well the first time she gave him permission for more.
"I want to take you roughly," he was surprised to find the words leaving his mouth.
Was it just his imagination, or were her eyes glowing bright red? Like fire, not of destruction, but of lust that mirrored his own.
"Go as hard as you want," she'd told him. "I won't break."
Her answer only served to ignite him further; he could only think of physical need, of a desperate craving for the use of her body. He'd never before had the opportunity to simply lose control, and he took her at her word, fucking her, just fucking her, no making love about it, until he drove into her with his last cruel thrusts, and he heard her keening wail as she climaxed loudly and messily around him.
Afterward, they'd flopped down side by side, both in satisfaction and surprise, turning to look at each other with questions in their eyes.
"What just happened here?" she asked him.
"Was it not okay?" he asked, suddenly alarmed.
"It was fantastic," she hastily assured him. "Maybe… we could do that again. Not always, you know, but once in a while…"
Cloud was left surprised, but pleasantly so. Wow, she was STILL full of surprises. Here he'd been worried he'd been taking advantage of her… but she had LIKED it. Not only that, he realized; it had shown an overwhelming measure of trust that she'd given him control, that despite her words, she'd known deep down that he would never, ever truly hurt her.
That had been years ago; how many dozens of ways had they enjoyed each other since? But as he'd told her, long ago when she'd asked what he'd liked to do best… his favorite way was still making love. Taking his time to pleasure her, watching her become slowly undone underneath his touch, joining her in the ultimate high and leaving them both feeling more in love than ever.
Downstairs, he could hear Tifa's muffled voice now mixing with those of her vendors, as they fixed… whatever had happened. Disgruntled, he let himself doze off, lulled by dreams of all the things he'd like to do to Tifa later.