I really have no excuse for how long it has been since I updated. Life just got in the way and I never got around to writing, but a review I got the other day reminded me how much I enjoy writing, so I'm back with a short chapter. Enjoy :)

Amelia POV

Sofia has started back at school this past week. Alex told us that she should be taking it easy, but Sofia was restless about missing class. We compromised, allowing her to go into school for half days this week and we will reconsider full days at the weekend. It is my turn to collect our daughter today, Arizona and I have been taking turns. Surprisingly, she looks less drained than she has for the past couple of days, she still has colour in her face and she walks with a slight hop with her hand slotted into mine on the way to the car.

The journey home is quiet, Sofia plays with the car radio until she finds a song that she likes before flopping back into her seat. She hums along to the music, but does not initiate a conversation. I presume she is simply tired from school and decide against pushing her to hold a conversation. She pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her head against the window.

"Are you hurting, baby?" I ask softly, wanting to ensure that her quiet nature is not due to her recent surgery, that we were okay to go back to our apartment rather than to Meredith's to get her pain meds. Thankfully, she shakes her head no, indicating that she is not in pain.

"I'm okay, promise."

"That's good." I tell her, offering a quick smile before turning my attention back to the road and driving the last few minutes to the apartment.

When we get inside, Sofia walks toward the couch and sits down with her school bag, pulling out a notepad followed by a book. I walk to sit next to her, seeing the book is the copy of Wizard of Oz that we had bought to her following her falling in love with Wicked.

"Haven't you already read that book?" I ask, and she nods, laughing a little.

"Yeah but I'm reading it again to make notes because I'm writing a book report on it. I'm making notes on the best bits to make sure I don't miss anything."

"You know, you are allowed to take a break from school work sometimes." I inform her and she smiles, placing her books on the floor before leaning into my arms. I pass her the TV remote for her to select something to watch and I pull the blanket that was on the back of the couch to cover both of our bodies.

"Amelia, if I ask you something, could you not tell my Mom?" Sofia asks cautiously. Her nervous disposition is unusual and I'm slightly concerned that she is wanting to keep secrets from her mother but I remain calm and respond carefully.

"That depends, if it's important then you know I have to tell her."

"What do you mean by important?"

"I guess anything that she needs to know to look after you properly. Tell you what, why don't you ask and I won't tell her unless I really really think she needs to know." I offer, wanting her to trust me and be able to tell me anything that she is struggling with, but I also do not want to lie to her. I can't promise that I will keep anything a secret from Arizona.

"Can you tell me whether you're going to tell her?"

"Sure. but you know you can talk to your Mom about anything, right?"

"I know, but it doesn't mean I want to. Some things are weird to talk to her about." She explains with a shrug, and I am still unsure as to what she is referring to. What would she be more comfortable talking to me about than her mother?

"Well, that's your choice, but we are both here for you, whatever you need."

Sofia is quiet for several moments; It is clear from her facial expression that she is having an internal debate as to whether to share her concern. She sighs a little and reaches to take the remote from next to me to pause the TV. "How do you know whether you like a boy?"

"More than friends?" I clarify, believing I had understood the intentions of her question correctly, but wanting to be sure before continuing. Unsurprisingly, she confirms my suspicions.

"Yeah."

"Well, do you like him as a person, do you think he would be a good friend?" I ask, she nods a little and I see a smile creeping onto her face.

"Yeah. We've been friends since I came back from New York. We sit together in maths because we are next to each other on the register."

"How does he make you feel when you talk to him?"

"What do you mean?" She leans closer into our embrace and I run my fingers through her hair, much like Arizona does for me when I am feeling anxious.

"When I like somebody, I get butterflies in my stomach."

"Like nervous?"

"A little bit, but a good kind of nervousness. Like you're nervous but you're excited to see them." This explanation appears to resonate with her as she nods her head a little, whether in acknowledgement or in concurrence, I am unsure.

"Oh. What else?"

"I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest, like my heart is beating a little faster when they talk to me."

She turns to look at me, her face scrunched up a little with inquisition, as though she is attempting to not only decipher what I had meant, but also to understand her own emotions. She pauses for a moment before asking her follow up question. "Like when they smile at you too?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Do you feel like that?"

"I guess, maybe. I don't know."

"Am I allowed to ask about the boy?" I am careful to ask permission, not wanting to make Sofia uncomfortable with further questions. I respect that this was difficult and awkward for her to come talk to me about, irrespective of me asking personal questions.

"His name is Nathaniel, but everybody calls him Nate."

"What else?" I ask, wanting to know more about the boy's personality rather than simply his name.

"He doesn't care what anybody else thinks, he always does the right thing. Like when Jamie was saying mean things about you and Mom, he stood up for you guys even though he doesn't know you. And last week, he found a sick cat and he walked 45 minutes to take it to a vet because his Mom was at work and couldn't drive him.. He made his big sister walk with him because wanted to make sure the cat was okay. Oh, and he's really smart. He helps me in maths when I get stuck." Sofia's face lights up when she talks about him but I can tell that she is still hesitant to the idea of a relationship, understandably due to her age.

"He sounds great, Sof." I tell her truthfully. From what she had explained, he seems to be a good kid and I can see how the two of them are friends.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend but I don't know."

"What did you say?"

"That I want to think about it, but that was three days ago and I still don't know. I'm only ten, I don't know what I'm doing." I laugh a little at this statement and Sofia laughs too. Her words were exacerbated, as though she is exhausted of not knowing. After several moments of giggles, I respond to her and make sure she knows that I wasn't laughing at the situation, rather I was laughing because I am an adult and yet I relate to her feelings of uncertainty. I don't think anybody ever really knows what they are doing, people just fake competence until it is inevitably true..

"Sorry, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing because a lot of the time, I still don't know what I am doing either. And you don't have to know right now. You did a smart thing telling him you wanted time to think about it, and if you decide that you like him back, then you can say yes. If you still aren't sure, tell him that and that you just want to be friends for now but if you change your mind, you will let him know."

"What do you think being his girlfriend means? What would change?"

"I don't know? We would sit together at lunch and hold hands sometimes?" She says with a shrug.

"And are you comfortable sitting with him and holding hands?"

"I guess, but I don't want to leave Zola either. We usually sit together and she is more important than a boy." She states bluntly. I know how much her friendship with Zola means to her. She told Arizona and I that Zola is a big reason that she wanted to move back to Seattle, that she was a better friend than the ones she had made in New York.

"Having friends is super important, and you're right, I think Zola is more important than a boy too, but why do you have to choose? Could you not sit with them both?"

"Yeah. Zola said it's fine, but I don't know. Everything is confusing."

"You're allowed to be confused, and you're allowed to have time to figure out your feelings. Emotions are messy and complicated, nobody understands them all."

"I wish emotions were more simple. Then I would know what to do."

"I think we would all like that, kiddo. Unfortunately, it's just a part of life." I explain, placing a kiss on the top of her head as she sighs.

"Sof, can I ask you a question?" She nods, but doesn't respond so I continue. "Why don't you want your Mom to know? She wouldn't be mad or upset, you know that, right?"

She shrugs a little, pretending she doesn't have an answer, but I can see right through her lie. She knows I can tell she isn't being truthful. "You like boys too."

"I do, that is true. But your Mom won't care who you like."

"I know, I just, when you and Mom made me talk about sex, you were less freaked out than she was." Today is the first time that Sofia has voluntarily brought up that conversation that we had had months ago. She had shown discomfort during the discussion, so after making sure she knew the important details, Arizona and I made the decision not to discuss anything any further unless we are prompted to, unless we are sure she would be okay with it.

"This isn't sex though, Sof. You know you're too young to be having sex. You already told me you think you'd be holding hands and eating lunch together. That is much different than having sex."

"I know, I just, I didn't want her to get all nervous again, she made it weirder than it already was."

"She was just nervous because she didn't know what to say. She hadn't had that conversation before, she didn't want to make you feel weird." I attempt to justify my girlfriend's anxious state from those months ago without invalidating Sofia's experiences.

"You weren't nervous though." Her statement, despite being declarative in nature, appears as a question. She wants to know why her Mom was nervous and why I was not.

"No, but I have had very similar conversations to that before. Zola comes to me to talk about sex, so I knew how to explain things. That is why your Mom wanted me to stay when she talked to you. Either way, this is different. Your Mom won't be upset or worried about this, she might be a little curious, but not upset."

"So are you going to tell her?" She asks, taking a breath of relief.

"I won't if you really don't want me to, but I think you should. She would like to know. She will support you with whatever you decide to do."

"Can I wait until I decide whether I am going to say yes or not before I tell Mom?"

"Sure, if that is what you want to do."

The next day:

"Amy?" Sofia calls, stepping into my bedroom while her mother is in the shower. I place my phone down and open my arms, shuffling across into the middle of the bed.

"What are you doing awake so early?"

"It's not that early, I need to be up in fifteen minutes." She explains looking at the clock and then back to me. "I think I'm going to say yes."

"That's awesome, baby. He seems like a good guy."

"Yeah. Could you help me tell Mom, though?"

"Tell Mom what?" Arizona asks, walking into our bedroom and taking her towel that was around her shoulder and begins to rub her hair dry.

I wait for Sofia to say something, but she doesn't. Instead she just looks to me, silently asking for help. "A boy at school asked Sof to be his girlfriend. He wants to hold her hand and eat lunch together." Arizona stops sorting her hair and moves to sit on the bed with us, pulling her daughter out from my arms and into hers.

"You said yes?" Arizona asks kindly and Sof shakes her head.

"I told him I wanted to think about it because I wasn't sure, but I think I'm going to say yes."

"You like him? He makes you happy?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure at first, but I spoke to Amy yesterday and she explained and I think I do like him. I think you will like him too. He's awesome."

"Thank you for telling me, Sof. I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

Arizona and I take this morning as an opportunity to take Sofia to school together. I am at work all day, and Arizona wanted to catch up on some paperwork this morning, but neither of us start until nine so taking her to school is an option.

Arizona responded well to Sofia's news of potentially getting a boyfriend, and surprisingly, Sofia wasn't as nervous as I expected when I told her mother. The car ride to school is peaceful, with each of us enjoying the other's company yet none of us needing to start a conversation. It's a comfortable silence.

When we arrive at the school, Arizona twists her body to look at Sofia in the back seat. "Hey baby, can I talk to you quickly before you go?"

"About what?"

"You're absolutely allowed to have a boyfriend if you want one and he makes you happy, but I want you to promise me something, okay?"

"What?" The girl responds. She looks hesitant but allows her mother to talk.

"If he, or anybody else, touches you in a way you're not comfortable with, you need to get away and then tell me or Amy. It's super important, baby."

"Okay, I promise." Sofia nods, calming down at her mother's request, realising she is not being asked for more details about the boy.

"Good. I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too." Sof climbs a little until she is leaning into the front of the car, giving her mother a hug before wrapping her arms around me. "And I love you too Amy."

"Have fun at school, okay? And your mom will pick you up just after lunch."

Once Sofia has entered the school, I am about to drive when Arizona leans into my arms for a hug. I place the parking break back on and wrap my arms around her, placing a light kiss on the top of her head. "She is growing up so fast."

"I know, but she is smart, Arizona. She's going to make good decisions."

"I'm really happy she talked to you before making a decision. I'm glad she feels safe enough to talk about this stuff."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, she asked me not to. She didn't want to say anything until she had figured out what she was going to do." I apologise, knowing that not knowing tends to upset my girlfriend, but also acknowledging that I did the right thing for Sofia.

"I'm not mad or sad or anything. I'm just grateful she has you. I know there are things she would only come to me for, and apparently this kind of thing she wants to come to you, and that's okay. Did she say why she came to you?"

"Because I like boys too, and because she thought I would freak out less."

"I wouldn't have freaked out."

"I know. I told her that. Anyway, she just needed help sorting through her feelings. She didn't know how to tell if she liked him or not."

"You are an amazing Mom, Amelia. I love you so much."

Hopefully my next update will be sooner than this one, but only time will tell. Thanks for reading :)