Before going outside of the tent I threw a cloth rag over my bell to hide its distinct appearance. Little girl is a perfectly adequate starting option for any adventurer. Raphtalia fits that bill and the cute ears and the bushy, striped tail just adds to that charm. Now I just need to train her into the perfect little maelstrom of murder, massacre, and mayhem. While I'll be tanking the damage, and to be frank, this shield is a nifty artifact, yet it is only one shield, I need something to do with my idle hand. While internally monologuing with myself I slowly sauntered over to the smithy with the girl trailing silently behind me.

"What can I do for you traveler?"

"I need a weapon suitable for her, what did you call it again?"

"You mean levels?"

"Yes those, I need more to kit her out."

"Stranger, I've heard rumors of a public menace with a golden bell, it's not you is it?"

"Ding!"

"It is you! Give me one good reason to not call the guards after what you did?"

"A handful of reasons. One I am a customer, two Innocent, and thirdly. Your Royal arse summoned four heroes into a kingdom that worships three."

"Okay, you've made your point, tone down the anger will you?"

"Responsible humans are so much better to work with."

"Anyhow, I have a bag of money, this girl needs armor and a weapon. I only have an extra sword on me."

"That sounds disturbingly ominous, to be frank."

"Any weapon is that to untrained people. It's only known to stop time every now and then."

"Now you're pulling my leg."

"You would never be able to tell, however it's way too heavy for me to use."

I pulled out the disturbing looking iron blade known as Diablo, only to get zapped and interrupted by a snarky message, with the sword falling from my fingers.

"No weapons for you, they are too offensive."

The smithy picked up the blade with ease apprising it with a discerning eye.

"I can not identify the garbled enchantment this iron sword is spewing out, but to me it is just an ordinary one weight wise."

Even the raccoon girl could lift it with ease.

"I just can't use equipment heavier than one stone."

"That leaves you with daggers and butter knives, also what sort of measurement is stone?"

"Nah, I just need candy, leather, or cloth made gear, unless you have a lot of flying scrolls."

"Before you give me a headache with your insane revelations. Don't tell me that a candy weapon is edible."

"Okay, I will not do that then."

The little girl began waving the blade around and suddenly was behind me.

"You know what, I'll let you use that one then."

The smithy looked a bit miffed at not making a sale. "You still need level appropriate armor."

"Sure, could you find Raphina some sort of gambeson?"

"Certainly, this is my masterpiece, it is superior to the half cooked idea that putting studs in leather makes it better."

"It doesn't? Have I been lied to all these years of adventuring?" The man guwaffed loudly.

"Curses. Anyhow could I touch some shields?"

"Why?" Asked the little girl and the man in unison.

"I get new stuff by touching materials, so it might work on equipment." He picked up a bog standard buckler with a boss.

"Try this one." Once the artifact came in contact with the circular object a new snarky message got broad casted. "Is copying another person's work stealing?" The smithy swore like a salty sailor

"Those heroic hoodlums touched all my best wares with their grub hands and not paid a single silver."

"There goes that plan out the window. Here have a gold bar and let me copy your shields, and let the spear man touch and equip this one."

"Okay then m that sounds like a fair deal. So what is the deal with this malice looking winged spear?"

"It's cursed I think."

"That's wicked, what does it do?"

I inspected the weapon a bit more closely but I could not identify it yet.

"I have no idea whatsoever, but the result will be entertaining and is basically harmless, but very annoying. Much like a pebble in your shoe."

"Wicked, very, vindictive, I like it."

With the smithies blessing I went about copying generic shields that only provided marginally better stats. Most were made of various types of metal, wood and such.

"I suppose I can have you craft me something a bit more interesting with more esoteric monster materials, or enchant gear?"

"Naturally, I am a professional, but most people are not willing to get me the real good stuff."

"The kind you can only find in the middle of the wilderness?"

"Yes, I need you to find something big, mean, and squishy. Any creature you can tear the still beating heart from the chest and some that has no such thing"

"Murdering monsters is my specialty, aside from playing the piano."

Raphina looked at me perplexed.

"What is a piano?"

"A big, heavy instrument, with keys to press down to make sound."

I figured out a demonstration was in order, until I realized my piano was gone. So I brought forth my troubadour shield instead and began to play a haunting tune. The man nearly fell over in tears and the girl was smiling from ear to ear, before coughing weakly. I suppose it was time to see if I could restore her body and began casting a spell for just that. Once the glow washed over her, various numbers on the status screen got updated, but she was still a bit on the weak side.

"That had some effect, it seems, we better be on our way. If this system is anything to go by, I need to kill a lot of creatures."

"That is an excellent idea, I recommend you check out the dragon hourglass at the local church."

"Where and what is that?" I was a bit confused.

"It's the three heroes' church, a tall pointy building in town. A house of worship."

"Wait a minute they have an entire building dedicated to three ostensibly mortal men with magic doodads?"

Raphthila looked at me with a sad face and spoke. "They just really hate the Shield and demi humans."

"That is a bit stupid, especially since the world is in danger."

"Indeed, now be on your way, the hourglass has a wave countdown timer."

I threw a blanket over the bell and put on another clever disguise. While Raphtalia put on a fresh tunic and simple, but flexible armor, as well as some brown boots.

and began walking towards a building with a tall pointy tower.

"I need you to wait outside with the bell and prepare to make a run for it."

"Why?"

"Because I do not expect things to go well inside if they find out I am their sworn adversary."

"Okay then."

I then pressed on through the big heavy oaken doors and into a serene and tranquil place. Where pews stod in rows and people were in prayer. This feels familiar indeed, however I doubt I can seek absolution for my sins here. Once inside I headed over to the hourglass in the middle. It was an impressive timepiece full of sand, with a mighty dragon curled around the glass. I touched the device and a timer appeared on my display which indicates I had about a week before shit hits the fan. After that I went over to the altar and got greeted by a man in a stupid pointy hat and white flowing robes looking down from an elevated podium.

"Welcome traveler, I am Biscas, what can I do for a weary traveler." He asked with a wide welcoming smile.

"Nothing much, I am just passing by and wanted to pray for my family."

"Then I will not Stop you."

Once I reached the altar and bent down to touch the marble I noticed something curious, it was not claimed by any deity and thus blessing a bottle of water was impossible.

"Your holiness, could I have your blessings and pray for safe travels?"

"Did you put an offering in the box?" Next to the altar stood a wooden box with a money slot I had not noticed before, but I did as asked and put in some silver.

"May God be with you then child."

True enough I got blessed by a holy veil. However, my plan was not done yet. I wanted to claim the altar in the name of Ehekatl of Luck and threw the corpse from earlier onto the tapestry adorned stone slab. A pillar of light burst upwards blinding onlookers just long enough for me to get an altar shield and teleport out of there.

"Okay, it's time to make haste and leave post haste. Before the pope realized who just visited and violated his personal belief."

"What did you do?" Asked the raccoon girl befuddled.

"I claimed the altar in the name of my goddess."

We made great progress slipping out the poorly guarded gate, just in time for some very loud swearing to be heard.

"Impressive pipes on that pesky pope."

"Should I be worried about divine retribution?"

"Unless the holy man himself has some insane powers. Not really, I'm fairly sure this kingdom has no patron protector."

"Is that the reason for the waves you think?"

"Would not surprise me one bit, not that we know anything besides the time until the next one."

With that mess out of the way, we went further into the wilderness vaguely following the poorly cobbled road.

Raphinas stomach growled and I realized that we had yet to eat anything.

"Okay, if you want to eat we have to hunt, bring out your sword and I will lure out some wild beast."

She held up the sword clumsily, coughed and tailed carefully after me. I brought up the body buckler and within minutes the most hideous, toothy and mean looking bunny came charging. Calling it a bunny could be considered a misnomer, because it was the size of a whole hog. A loud meaty thwack reverberated through the woods once it impacted my grotesque shield. I was pushed at least a meter backwards from the force alone. Through gritted teeth I commanded Raphtalia. "Stab the thing, stab it until dead." Reluctantly she surged forward, gleaming steel pierced the thick hide. Blood began to pour, from multiple lacerations caused by Raphinas endless onslaught.

"Take it easy, it is already dead." Shakily she sagged onto her knees screaming herself hoarse. Dozens more got attracted by the sound and came charging forward. I jumped in front of her, taking multiple blows. Guns barked loudly, tearing the attackers to shreds when my bell retaliated.

Once the creatures stopped kicking and the smoke recided I began processing the corpses.

"Behold the lagomorph gun." My shield grew fur, bunny ears, and gave me a speed bonus that went through the roof if I intended to escape.

"Okay, it is time to cook dinner, this tasty morsel is gonna make for a most splendid meal."

After a bit of fiddling around with the cooking kit eventually produced something vaguely food looking goop.

"You know, mistress, It's probably better if I take over, that dish looks dangerous."

"You have some culinary skills?" I asked her sincerely.

"Mother taught me, before monsters took their lives."

"Sorry to hear that, is that why you were sold into slavery?"

"The local lord was murdered and the Royal knights enslaved all the demi humans." I mulled it over before replying. "So the Kingdom hates me, and loathes furries?"

"Yes."

A few moments later the meat was ready to eat.

"By the way, dinner is ready, I hope it is tasty." The meal was simple, yet looked mouth watering. "Good thing you can prepare this stuff. My cooking skills are just not up to snuff. I'll have to practice more later when hunger is not gnawing at my bones."

"Just chow down already." The cooked meat practically exploded in my mouth, and the wild savory flavor satiated my taste buns. Surely this will do wonders for my strength.

"That was amazing. Make sure to save the leftovers."

After enjoying some meal with good status increasing potential, I began skinning the bodies, the pristine pelts I could probably sell to a vendor. Once no trace was left, we went about following the road. After a great distance a tree fell in front of us and a trio of hairy and unkempt highwaymen emerged forth from the thicket. "Stand and deliver for we are your bold deceivers, Teriyaki Bagle."

"Blah, blah. Blah. Rouge bosses you are all the same, stupid and lame, without the ability to rub to cells together long enough to realize that your lifestyle will end with a rogue boss."

"With poorly armed travelers such as yourself, makes it all worth it."

"I must disappoint you then, charge little girl, go for the clavicle." I then changed my shield into a glowing circle of plasma.

"A moment later she had plunged her sword into the assistants unprotected back. He let out a shrill scream before keeling over in a pool of blood. The rest cried havoc and charged me head on. The moment steel met my protective artifact their low quality blades simply melted before me. The whole lot stood there baffled and left themselves completely open to a mind ball tearing one man to shreds, and causing the other one to stab himself in the neck with the partially melted sword, ending his own life.

Once the fight ended, Raphina was shaking like an Aspen leaf. My newly acquired murder machine needs more practical experience, that is all there is to it. Killing is not that easy after all.

"Take a deep breath and sit down, I have to loot this lot." The girl was visibly confused and stared wide eyed as I pulled out a two meter tall Christmas tree from the dead boss's backpack. To be fair, the comically big boulder and the statue left behind still befuddled me.

"I am very curious, can you try to lift that rock and toss it?"

"What?"

"Go on, just try it."

Shrugging slightly, she walked over to the stone and actually managed to pick it up with no effort at all. She actually lobbed it through the forest, causing it to crash loudly. Once it hit the ground or returned to her hand, ready to be thrown again.

"Madness I tell you, pure utter nonsense. I have another boulder to throw right here." Seeing this tiny girl holding up an object thrice her size and one handed bemused me. "Hold on to that, it builds character".

"Sure, sure, suuuure, I'll just put it in my pocket?" Her confusion was understandable, the stone was indeed pocketed for further use. "Splendid, now you can conceal your weapons and have both hands free." My supportive words made her perk up considerably.

"Since I do not plan to open up a museum anytime soon, I might as well see what the statue actually does. The magnificent sculpture depicting the final moments of the deceased disappeared into the shield. "Even a journeyman would be ashamed by the poor execution." Snarked my artifact out loud.

Solid like granite and just as hard to move, now that is an excellent bonus to defense.

"Mistress, why is it looking like a stone wall made of compressed six fingered humans?"

"Good question, but at least it is consistent.".

She began thinking deeply, before asking yet another question.

"I wonder what an air shield would look like. Actually how do you absorb air?"

By striking it?" Which did nothing, but I had to try.

"I know, let's try this. "Loudly she inhaled, followed by over exaggerated exhaling onto the shield's surface. Yet again the voice called out.

"Choking hazard, not suitable for three year olds." Raphthila took a careful step backwards in confusion. The status menu left me just as befuddled. "Carbon Monoxide buckler? What Is that?" Asked my companion.

"It creates a protective zone that causes living beings to suffocate by displacing the very air you breathe. Nifty and strange." The artifact took the appearance of a gaseous skull inside a circle, with a metallic boss in the middle.

After that we began following the road again going to eventually locate a Hamlet of sorts.

Fate would have it otherwise, as another bandit ambush fell upon us. "I be Taser face. Hand over yer cargo and no one will get hurt, much." I scuffed loudly and replied in kind.

"I can give you a lot of led" My bell opened fire and with an ear drum rupturing rattle, murdering more morons. Their mage put up a feeble defense, but it was for naught. All that was left behind was an eerie silence, and our ears ringing due to a lack of proper sound protection.

"What are the odds of two ambushes on the same day and road? Asked Raphthila, donning a tricorn hat with a red feather.

"Surprisingly common, but I'm not sure why this one carries a piano in the cargo space."

"Whatever rules you follow are very much alien to me. Not only do you have a tree in storage somewhere, but instruments as well."

I'm not sure if I like it when she has a good point. Reality seems oddly compatible with the world I came from. Nonetheless I stuffed my inventory full of legally liberated lot and made my body shield even more grotesque.

About half a day's walk later we were attacked yet again by highway hooligans known as Crimson Panty. While many in number, they had no defense against the vicious onslaught we brought upon them. Ny Raphtalia was slowly turning into a vortex of murderLooking over the latest pile of dead creatures Raphthila spoke.

"You know, I'm beginning to suspect that the more you lug around, the more encounters we're going to have."

"But look at all these valuables, surely I can carry more stuff." I lamented looking at my lovely loot.

"You make snails look fast."

By now I had gained a lot of levels and was over encumbered. I hate having to get rid of cargo, but it is just too heavy.

"Fine, the inner tubes are worth less than alcohol."

And thus I reluctantly dumped several items onto the ground and we set up camp, since it was getting late.

That night I was visited by a wizard clad in red. "Looks like I've entered the wrong dream, sorry about that. Here is something for your inconvenience." The man gave me knowledge of meteor, a really, really difficult spell to cast.