A/N: Jax and Tara reflect back on Jax's younger brother Thomas and the impact he has had on their life together.

This is rated MATURE.

Jax and Tara are lying in Tara's hospital bed enjoying the quietness of the night, each lost in their own thoughts. Jax's thinking of his little brother, Thomas. Thomas has been on Jax's mind during this whole ordeal; how could he not be. Thinking how Jax's whole life changed when his brother died. How it affected his family, how it fell apart. How JT lost his mind and Gemma became overbearing. Jax isn't going to let this happen to his family. Jax will do anything and everything to keep his family together. He and Tara are going to try to keep things as normal as possible for their boys. They're not going to grow up in the shadows of their younger brother's death, no they're going to live life and experience it.

Thomas was so sick growing up always in and out of hospitals getting sick and then better but each time it taking a toll on his weak little body. Jax can remember how Tara would play with Thomas instead of him and Ope. She would sit with Thomas and color or just talk about everything and anything. Thomas was smart. Thomas had visions. Visions of the future and for the club even though Thomas already didn't want the club he knew that Jax did. Thomas saw it as Jax's club and his visions were always something to help Jax and his club.

Jax can remember the day that Thomas was getting sicker it was a couple of weeks before he died. Thomas told Jax he wouldn't be able to grow up and date, get married, have children but he wanted that for Jax. Wanted Jax to get married and be happy and have lots of children and they would all be healthy and happy. But Thomas had a request and Jax laughed at him when he told Jax what it was. Jax will never forget the look on Thomas' face letting Jax know he was serious. Thomas wanted Jax to promise that he would marry Tara and always take care of her, because that's who Thomas wanted to marry. Thomas wanted to know that Tara was protected. That she would be safe. Thomas knew what her life was like he saw the bruises even though no one else did. It was Thomas who told Jax that Tara was being abused. Jax didn't believe him. Not tough Tara. No one would dare hurt her she wouldn't let them. But Thomas sat Jax down and started pointing out the bruises to him and it was then Jax saw them. Jax and Opie started studying her and learned when shit had hit the fan at home. She was eleven years old the first time she ran to Opie's when her father was beating her, Piney marched over to her house and beat that drunk's ass and Tara stayed with Piney and Opie for a week before that bastard even looked for her. Jax can't remember who told Mr. Knowles where she was but he promised not to do it anymore and Piney promised to beat his ass if he did. But it was Thomas who pulled Jax aside and told Jax that he wouldn't stop hurting her that it was up to Jax to keep Tara safe and stop people from hurting her.

It wasn't but a couple of days before he died that Thomas had another request this one makes Jax smile at the fond memories. Hell, fond isn't the word for it. Life changing is more like it. Thomas wanted to see Jax kiss Tara, this would be their first kiss. When Thomas told Tara she just looked at him like he had grown an extra head she scoffed, "Him? You want him? You want my first kiss ever in the history of my life be to kiss him?" Jax is almost laughing thinking about the look on Tara's face with her hands on her hips stomping her foot like Thomas had asked her to kill someone but to her he had. Just the look on her face alone made Jax want to kiss her. But Jax knew better than to tell her he wanted his first kiss to be with Tara Knowles. Jax hadn't realized it until then but that's what he wanted and Thomas knew it before Jax ever did. So Jax did the only thing he could possibly do or what any other twelve year boy would do. He refused to kiss her. He wasn't kissing a girl and especially Tara. That pissed Tara off. She was hot and Tara looks so beautiful when she's pissed. So she gave in because she thought Jax didn't want her. Tara even made the comment that she was saving herself for the right guy maybe David Hale or somebody like that. Oh, those were fighting words. Which also was the beginning of the Teller-Hale feud but Jax was the one who had the honor of Tara Knowles' first kiss. Jax closed his eyes and Tara had the softest lips Jax was in heaven. Jax can still feel her lips from their first kiss. Luckily it wasn't his last Tara Knowles kiss.

When Jax married Wendy he felt so guilty because he had promised Thomas he would marry Tara. Jax would have never been able to face his brother again. Thomas had even explained to Jax that Tara would want more than Charming but to encourage her to go to school but stand by her and she would always be his. Jax had already let Thomas down by the way he had treated Tara before she left for school. So marrying Wendy wasn't his first broken promise to his brother. Then Abel, that one makes Jax sick, literally sick, what had he done. Jax had promised Thomas to have healthy kids and Jax had done everything possible not to have a healthy kid he'd let Thomas and Abel down. But here came Tara to save the day and Jax got to feel those magical lips again.

"Jax, Jax ...JAX."

"What?"

"Where were you?"

"Our first kiss."

The biggest smile broke out across Tara's face. "Yeah Thomas railroaded us into that kiss. Just think of all of the girls you could have made feel special with your first kiss."

"No Babe, I got my first kiss from the only girl I wanted it from. I knew I wanted to kiss those lips for the rest of my life."

"You hated that kiss. You didn't want to kiss me."

"That is where you are wrong my fair lady it was you, always you. Thomas told me I wanted you to be my first kiss. He also told me that I loved you and I didn't believe him, girls, eeewwww but he was so right."

"I loved him Jax. I miss him so much. When I was in med school there wasn't a day that went by I didn't think about him. I thought why couldn't he have hung on just a little bit longer. That everyday new medicine, new procedures were happening that could save his life. I wanted him to live so bad, him and Mom they left me but they left me with you."

"He was too weak Tara his body had already taken all that it could. He just wasn't strong enough. But he loved you he wanted to grow up and marry you. That's when he made me promise to marry you. Thomas didn't want to leave you alone. He was the first to notice your bruises. My five year old brother told me that one of my best friends was being abused and I never noticed it. I called him a liar. Thought he was crazy no one abused Tara Knowles she would kick their ass and make them sorry for ever touching her. I didn't realize it until Thomas started pointing out the bruises and then I realized he was right. That killed me I wanted to kill your dad and unfortunately that wasn't the last time. Thomas loved you Tara you spent time with him. You gave him your undivided attention and he loved you for it. I know your secret, Thomas told me right before he died. He told me what you had promised him. You'd find a way to make a difference. You were going to help babies with heart problems like his. And you have Tara, you kept that promise. He would be so proud of you." Jax looks into Tara's eyes and sees they're full of tears, the same tears in the same eyes of a twelve year old mourning her friend. A friend that knew her heart. Knew more about her than she knew about herself, knew more than any one. Her little friend had suffered so much. Yes, Jax knows these tears. Knows them well. Knows these eyes filled with tears. The same eyes Jax was staring into during their second kiss.

Jax kisses Tara lightly holding her in his embrace each staring off reflectively with their own memories of the little six year old they both loved dearly.