From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 6:23 AM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
Hey.
I woke up way early than necessary.
I'm sure you're still asleep and that's okay.
I just needed to do something to keep my mind off the deafening silence.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 7:34 AM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
No, I get it…
Sorry I wasn't up earlier to talk with you and quiet the silence.
Sorry that didn't make sense…
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds silence deafening, though.
Sincerely, Me
From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 10:03 AM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
It's alright.
I managed through it well enough.
I would have been more surprised if you were awake.
I did send that really early.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 10:16 AM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
Yeah, I guess I do wake up pretty late…
Sorry.
I'll try to get up a little earlier from now on.
Sincerely, Me
From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 3:24 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
No, don't change your sleep schedule for me.
I'm fine on my own, really.
I'm used to it.
Wait. That sounded really passive aggressive.
I didn't mean it like that.
I really am okay.
Don't worry about me.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 3:48 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
Nope. Too late.
I've already changed the time on my alarm.
I'm gonna be one of those mythical people who actually wake up early for no real reason.
Also.
I knew you weren't trying to be passive aggressive or anything, so it's all good.
Sincerely, Me
From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 4:13 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
Okay.
I mean…
I guess I can't really stop you, huh..?
Thanks.
For caring.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 4:56 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
Of course.
You seem to care for me.
Why shouldn't I return that favor..?
Sincerely, Me
From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 5:07 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
Right…
Yeah. I guess that makes sense.
I suppose I shouldn't ask for more than that…
Wait. No.
Ignore that.
I just… Really haven't been having that great of a day.
Sorry.
I'm gonna go out for a walk or something.
I'll message you later.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 5:16 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
Okay, no.
Wait.
That didn't come out like I meant.
I'm not just doing this out of pity or because I feel obligated to do it after everything.
I just meant that you've been nice and understanding and helpful to me that I should try and give that back to you.
I want to be your friend. Not just because no one else talks to you.
I want to earn that status.
And I want to prove to you that I can be a good friend because I never have been before.
All I've ever done is run. And push people away.
But I want to be good. I want to get better. I want to be better than all these broken parts that I'm currently comprised of.
I'm sorry that came off as so insensitive and condescending because that is definitely not how I meant it.
Not at all.
Sincerely, Me
From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
To: fuckificare
Sent: 5:28 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, fuckificare
No, I understand.
I get it.
Really.
I just… Have a hard time believing that because I've never known anyone who has genuinely wanted to be my friend.
It will definitely take time for me to get to that point.
But maybe one day you can say that and I'll believe you.
Sincerely, Me
From: fuckificare
To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun
Sent: 5:39 PM 3 May 2017
Dear, Birch
I get that. And I'll wait as long as I need.
I want to still be right here with you as you continue to grow and develop as a person. I hope to still be a part of your life, no matter how small, when you begin to believe those words. Because I want to be the first one to say them to you and have you actually trust me.
Sincerely, Me