Red River Blue

Chapter 5

They sat around a table, eating the peaches that River and her girls had picked earlier that day. Wren was down in the cellblock reading comics with Rick's son. River and her older daughter listened quietly as Rick and Daryl explained the sitation with the governor to them. Her daughter's hand slid over, closing around hers as the men talked. The more she heard, the more worried and afraid River got. When she came here, she hadn't realized that she was walking her girls into the middle of a war between two groups. River had felt hopeful about this place at first. But now she was thinking about leaving. She could hear the low voices intermingled with laughter coming from the cell where Wren and her new best friend were reading comics together. If they left in the morning, she knew her younger daughter was going to be devastated.

The more Rick watched this new woman and her subtle interactions with both Daryl and his brother, the more nervous he got. When she got here, he had been hesitant to let her in. Now he was afraid of what was going to happen if she didn't stay. If River took her girls and left, the Dixons were going to go with her. Both of them. Which would pretty much blow any chance Rick had of standing a chance against the governor. Look what happened already and Daryl had only been gone for the day. If he and Merle had not shown back up, Rick and everyone else here would probably all be dead right now.

River exchanged looks with Harley and squeezed the girl's hand. They would wait until they went back to their cell to talk about what they wanted to do. But River knew her daughter well. She could already tell by the look on the girl's face, Harley was not impressed with everything they had just been told. She was going to want to go back out on the road.

"This place is worth fighting for," Rick said. Everyone already knew it, but he thought it beared repeating. River looked around the prison. She felt safe behind these thick walls, that much was true. At least from the dead. But she wasn't sure if she was willing to risk her life or the lives of her daughters for this place.

"It's not our fight," Harley said, finally speaking up since her mother wasn't.

"Yer right." The agreement came from the last place Harley expected. From her father. "Ain't yer fight. We should leave." Harley wrinkled up her nose at him. Then she yanked herself up to her feet, knocking her chair down behind her. It clattered to the floor and woke the baby in Carol's arms, causing the small child to cry. Harley paid the baby no mind. She pointed her finger at Merle.

"There is no we you asshole," she informed him. "I'm not going anywhere with you and neither is Mom." With those words the girl stormed off to the cell she was sharing with her mother and sister. River buried her head in her hands, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her.

"I'm sorry," she said. The comment was not really directed towards Merle, but more like everyone else in the room. She was embarassed for them to witness her family drama. "She's just angry." River had tried taking Harley to a counselor before the turn. But that only seemed to make the girl angrier. Field hockey had helped her more. At least there she had a healthy place to get some of her aggression out.

"Excuse me," River said. She got to her feet and picked up the chair that her daughter had knocked to the ground. Then she hurried away from the curious looks and judgemental glances from all the people at the table. Carol watched her go as she bounced Judith in her arms to quiet the girl. A few seconds later Merle stormed off in the other direction, heading outside. He didn't bother to excuse himself. Daryl watched them both walk away but made no move to follow either one.

"Do you think you ought to check on her?," Carol asked, nudging him gently with her elbow. He could see she was worried about River and maybe Harley too after her little outburst. Daryl snorted. If she thought that was bad, wait until she saw a real fight between the three of them. River was coming off quiet and passive right now, but she often gave as good as she got.

Before Daryl could answer, River came back. She sat back down in her chair, tucking the little wisps of hair behind her ears that had escaped from her braided ponytail. Smoothing her clothes out. Her eyes stayed fixed on the table top. She didn't look up until Judith let out a high pitched wail. Carol mumbled something about a bottle and handed the little girl off to Daryl. That surprised River a little. Daryl wasn't really a baby person. He had been scared to death of her girls until they could hold their own heads up.

"What?," he asked. He could see River smirking at him. Watching him hold little asskicker. She shook her head.

"Nothin'. I thought you swore off babies forever after what Harley did to ya," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up a little further. Bordering on a real smile. The memory caught Daryl off guard. He had not thought about that in years and it made him choke a little on his laughter.

"What happened?," Glenn asked. The way the two of them were smiling, he had a feeling there was a funny story there. And it had been a long time since he heard anything funny. Plus he had to admit he was curious about River. What sort of woman would marry Merle and have two babies with him? This was not what he would have pictured in his mind if someone told him Merle had a wife. First of all, she was quiet and polite. At least so far. Her face was pretty besides the weird crook in her nose. She did look a little young to have two teenage daughters. Which made Glenn even more curious to hear her story.

"I said I would babysit Harley so they could go out," Daryl said.

"She was 'bout two at the time," River added, "that was right after we got back from Germany." Merle had been stationed there for a while. After his first tour in Iraq. River was afraid to live in a foriegn country, but she ended up loving it there. The people were funny and the food even better. Plus there was no drinking age and no one stared at her funny if she nursed her daughter in front of them. She had been sad to come back home to Georgia. Especially since she was going to have to stay and live with her mother again while her husband, who she had still been desperately in love with at that time, went back for another tour overseas.

"Yeah," Daryl said, "so me and Harley are lyin' on the couch, watching the singin' pony show. I swear I only closed my eyes for a minute." River's smile was getting bigger as he spoke. "When I woke up that freaking kid was butt ass naked, standing on top of me, pissin' in my face. She chewed up a whole pack of pink bubble gum and wadded that shit into my hair."

Now several people were laughing at the story. Glenn even had to wipe at his eyes. It occured to him that he had never heard Daryl talk to much in one stretch.

"Wasn't funny," Daryl told River, who was now shaking with silent laughter and wiping at her eyes, "I had ta shave my damn head!"

"She took... she got into the fridge too remember?," River asked as she tried to get control of her laughter so she could talk. "She took every condiment in the fridge and dumped 'em on the kitchen floor, then threw the eggs at the wall." When she and Merle got home from dinner, the house looked like a bomb had gone off inside of it. River had to rent a steam cleaner to get the mustard out of her mother's carpet.

"That's fuckin' right, she did," Daryl said like he was just now remembering what happened, "she dumped a whole bottle of ketchup inside my damn work boots too."

Carol walked back over and offered to take Judith back. She noticed for the first time since they got to this place, everyone was smiling. Including her.

Rick picked up where Daryl left off and told a funny story about how Lori lost Carl in a department store downtown once. She had Rick and every other cop in town out looking for the boy. Convinced the boy had been kidnapped and they would never see him again. Shane was the one that found him. Carl was located in the middle of the mall, riding the escalator up and down to his heart's content. Having the time of his life.

It was getting late and after laughing about Rick's story, people started getting up and heading for their beds. River was tired, but her head was pounding. The day had been long and stressful and she felt like she had crammed too much information into her brain at once. She walked out to her camper and grabbed a bottle of asprin, twisting the cap off and shaking a few pills out into her hand. There was half a bottle of water in the cup holder, so she twisted the cap off and used it to swallow the pills down.

River leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, enjoying a few moments of silence before she headed back inside. She had no idea what she was going to do and she felt like she was being pulled in ten different directions at once. The swirl of emotions was normal for her. But it had been a while since she had to deal with it. She and the girls had been living day to day, the only worries had been food, water and shelter. Now she felt like she had a lot more than that to consider. She sighed and forced herself up and out of the passenger seat.

She brought the last little sip of water in the bottle along with her, tilting it back and wishing there was more of it and it was a beer. Passing by the cells, she glanced at the people inside. But she stopped short when she noticed a hulking frame inside her own cell. It was dark inside the prison, and all she could see was the silhouette of a man reaching over her daughter's sleeping form. River's hand instinctively went for the knife at her waist, stepping closer.

Her hand came down and she scrubbed at her face. It was only Merle. And all he was doing was pulling on Harley's sleeping bag to cover her up. He must have heard River's soft tread in the doorway, because he turned and spoke quietly to her.

"The only time I kin even get near her is when she's asleep." He pulled the bag up a little higher and stroked Harley's hair back away from her face. He sounded so sad. Sad and tired and beat down. River felt the same urge she had in the camper earlier. The urge to comfort him. It made her chest hurt, that was how badly she wanted to wrap her arms around him. She still cared for Merle and it made her angry at herself. It was a strange and unsettling feeling, loving someone that she hated so much. The time that passed had not made it any easier.

"Give her some time," River said, "she'll come around." She knew that was a lie. Harley was as stubborn as a mule and just as mean as Merle. She was never going to forgive him. But River felt like it was the right thing to say anyway.

"She hates me," he said. He had seen it in her eyes. That same pent up anger he had felt for his father all those years ago. When he married River, he had made a promise to himself that he would never become his father. And he tried. But somewhere along the line things had gone wrong. Terribly wrong. When River and his girls showed up at the prison today, he thought god was giving him a second chance to make things right. But he now he wasn't so sure. This felt more like punishment for all the things he did wrong in his life. To have his family so close and not even be able to hold them was almost worse than not having them at all.

Merle rested his arm against the edge of the top bunk and leaned his forehead against it. There was a soft shuffle noise next to him and then he felt River's arms wrap around his waist. She hugged him and rested her head between his shoulder blades. Maybe not offering him her love, not yet. But offering him comfort and empathy. He knew it was more than he deserved. But he was still going to take it.