Red River Blue

Chapter 15

River's body was warm beside him. Curled around him. There wasn't much room on the narrow bunk that was made to hold only one person comfortably. But he didn't feel crowded. Quite the opposite, Merle felt like she was never close enough to him unless he was inside her. The intense need to possess her was a constant low burn deep in his groin. All the years he had known her, he kept waiting for the feeling to pass. To fall out of love with her. He waited the horrible burning ache of not being able to have her to go away. Drugs would dull it. Make him forget. But it never really went away.

She was far from being the only woman he had ever had sex with, but River was the only woman he had ever actually slept in the same bed with. He had passed out drunk a few times in some random whore's bed, but once he woke from his stupor he had not been able to get out of there fast enough. Those women smelled like cheap wine and cigarettes. They had bad breath and crispy hair that was sticky with hairspray. But sometimes they dulled the ache inside him for a while. He used them to try and prove to himself that he didn't need River. Didn't need her and didn't want her. He used them to push her away. That had been just one of his many mistakes.

Merle was lying flat on his back and River was curled into the side of him. One leg and one slim arm thrown across his body, like she was using him as a giant body pillow. She was thinner than the last time he had been with her, and he felt a slight pang of guilt. He ought to be taking better care of her. And the girls. He should have tried harded to find them when the shit when down instead of just asssuming they didn't make it. In fact, he should have been there taking care of them before the end of the world. He never should have let things between them get so bad. He should have been a better husband. A better father. The kind of man they deserved.

God or fate or whoever was out there was giving him a second chance. And Merle did not intend to let this one slip away. He thought about what Rick had asked him to do. Turn Michonne over to the governor. It made him sick and he reached his hand down under the covers, grasping River's thigh and gently pulling her closer. She sighed but didn't wake, her hips rocking into him. He could feel the wet heat of her against his hip and for a moment, Merle was ready to roll on his side and plunge into her. Hold her close and kiss her soft lips until he forgot everything about the governor and Rick and every other asshole in this place.

But that was not what Merle did. Instead of turning towards River, he slid slowly out from under her embrace. He tucked the blankets in around her to keep her warm and brushed a stray hair away from her face. Merle smiled down at her while he pulled on his clothes and tucked a gun into his belt. She looked so small there on the bunk by herself. Small and peaceful. His anchor in the storm that he created wherever he went. There was nothing in the world he wouldn't do to keep her safe.

TWD

Harley stomped off outside. She looked inside the trailer first, assuming that was where he mother had gone. The girl had been in the kitchen area doing morning yoga with Michonne when her dad came in. He asked Michonne to help him clear out some walkers. When Harley offered to come and help, he told her that her mom wanted her for something. It wasn't until she was poking inside the camper and coming up empty that she realized he never said where he mom was.

Well, Harley thought, there's only so many places she could be. The girl headed back inside and checked their cell. Not only was her mom not inside, her bed looked like it had not been slept in. She had not noticed that when she got up. Harley was starting to get a little concerned. She didn't think her dad would have done anything to her mother, but she didn't totally trust him either. He had a shifty look on his face when he left the kitchen area with Michonne.

Harley thought about where else her mother might be, and quickly decided to check her dad's cell just in case. She thought maybe her mom was in there cleaning up or something. Harley pulled the sheet back and rolled her eyes at what she saw. Her mom was in there, but she wasn't cleaning. She was sleeping on the bunk and it looked like she wasn't wearing much under the blankets either. That meant she had probably slept the night in there, with her dad. Harley sighed. There was nothing to be done about it now.

"MOM!," she hollered, lifting up one foot and using it to jostle the sleeping woman, "what do you want?"

River smacked Harley's dirty boot away from her. Then she rubbed at her eyes and tried to wake herself up. She had been sleeping so soundly that for a moment, she woke up confused as to where she was. The blanket fell down, revealing her naked breasts, and she quickly snatched it back up and clutched it to her chest. Getting caught by Harley always River feel a bit like getting caught by her mother. She felt like she was always disappointing her daughter.

"Somethin' wrong," River asked, "Is Wren alright?" Harley nodded.

"What do you want?," she asked again. River scrubbed at her face, trying to clear her head. She didn't want anything that she knew of.

"Huh?," she finally huffed.

"Dad said you wanted my help with something," Harley said. She was starting to get irritated now. Her dad had obviously sent her off on some sort of fools errand to keep her from going with him and Michonne. Treating her like some kind of little baby. Like she was fucking Wren or something. He didn't think she could handle herself. Who did that jerk think had been keeping her mom and Wren safe all this time. She had probably killed more walkers than him. And she had been going out of her way to be nice to that asshole too. Look at what she got for her efforts. Now that douche had fucked her mom and he was treating her like a little scare baby. When he got back she was going to give him a piece of her mind this time and she didn't care what her mom thought about it.

"Where's your dad?," River asked. She stood up, wrapping the blanket around her like a towel.

"You ought to know," Harley sassed, "Since yer the one letting him fuck you." The girl saw her mother's mouth drop open. But she wasn't done yet. She wasn't sure she would have been able to stop herself if she wanted to. Harley could feel her anger taking over, loosening up her tounge and making her say things she knew she would regret later.

"You promised me mom! After the last time you promised it wouldn't happen again!" Harley's eyes filled up with angry tears that she ground away with the back of her fist.

The flood of terrible memories was washing over her. The day before basketball tryouts. She had gone to bed early and woken up hours later to a horrible racket in their small apartment. Her mother's face was gushing blood as she held a towel to it to try and stop the flow. She had not seen her dad in almost a year. But suddenly there he was in their living room. He was screaming like a wild animal, smashing everything in their apartment. Harley grabbed her mom and the phone and dragged her towards Wren's bedroom. She locked the door behind them and threw the dresser in front of it, not caring if it broke or made a hole in the wall. Wren was so little she had still been sleeping in a pink teddy bear toddler bed that she was really too big for with a blankie clutched to her chest. She was fleece footie pajamas because she always kicked her blankets off while she slept. Harley remembered them, one foot had a hole in it and her big toe was sticking out.

Through the wet towel Harley's mom told her, call Uncle Daryl. Her voice sounded all muffled and gurlgy. Harley remembered the feeling of the phone in her hand, her fingers sliding over the raised pattern of buttons. She looked at the towel her mom was holding to her face. It was soaked in blood. And she let her fingers punch the buttons. Not dialing her Uncle's number, but dialing 911 instead. The police had come. It took three of them to cuff her dad and haul him down to the squad car. That was the last time she saw him until years later.

The next day Harley had still shown up for tryouts, walking two miles by herself and then taking the city bus down to the middle school because her mom couldn't drive her. She was the youngest girl to make the team.

River approached her daughter slowly, reaching her hand out. Harley was crying. River couldn't remember the last time she had seen the girl cry. Not since she was a little girl. River expected the girl to yank away, but instead Harley folded into her mother's arms.

"It's alright," River soothed, "It's alright honey, everything is going to be alright this time. I promise." She had struggled with so much guilt over the years. Feeling like a bad mother for allowing her daughter to be exposed to something that horrible. More than anything she wished she could take her daughter's pain away and feel it for her.

"Hey!," Daryl said, flinging the sheet back from in front of the cell, "Y'all seen Merle?" Harley turned her back to him and wiped her eyes again. She sucked in a deep breath and got her emotions under control.

"He went down to clear the tombs with Michonne," Harley told her Uncle. From the look on Daryl's face, River could tell right away that something was wrong.

"What is it?," she asked. Daryl took in River's disheveled appearance. Her hair was wild and sticking up in the back and she was naked under the blanket she had wrapped around her. There was a purple love bite on the left side of her neck. She was also in Merle's cell, and the bed next to her looked rumpled from more than sleeping. Daryl allowed himself one second to be happy for his brother, then he pointed at River.

"Ya better get dressed right now, I think we got a problem."