Red River Blue

Chapter 31

The fear of being eaten by undead cannibals was a constant in all of their lives now. It wasn't always in the forefront of their minds, but it was always there. Lurking in the shadows of River's mind like the walkers that crept along the fencelines. Constantly present even if her thoughts were heavily occupied with another task. But now the fear of something new had taken hold. They were afraid of each other. Afraid to touch, afraid to hug, seized with a fear close to panic if another person even breathed too close. God forbid if someone swallowed wrong and started coughing.

Everyone had a theory about the sickness that had killed twelve of their own. The one doctor they had said he thought the sickness might be some form of fast acting influenza. Bob said it might be bacterial. Hershel said it didn't matter what it was, only that they stopped it from spreading. All River knew was that she had spent the day burying people that she had come to think of as part of her new extended family. Children were left without parents and parents were left without children. At the end of all that, she was simply grateful that her own family had been spared. And that made her feel like a horrible selfish person.

At first it seemed like the few people that died might have been the only ones that had been infected. But not long after those bodies were in the ground, both Karen and David started coughing. River had spent most of the day pacing around and spraying at every possible surface with a strong toxic smelling mixture of bleach and water, wishing she could do something more to help. Wren and Mika were sitting on the floor outside the cell that Wren and Harley shared, trying to play a board game that was missing half the pieces. River squatted down, reaching over to press the inside of her wrist to Mika's forehead before she did the same to her own daughter.

"Mom," Wren lamented, shoving her mother's hand away, "I'm not sick. Quit doin' that!" River pulled her hand back and smiled at her daughter. She supposed checking the girls for a fever five times in the last hour was about four times too many.

"Alright, alright," River agreed, "I'll stop. You girls tell me right quick if either of ya start feelin' sick." Both girls bobbed their heads up and down in agreement. Wren kept her eyes on the game board, but Mika glanced over at River and smiled. There was a touch of sadness to her expression that had not been there the day before. But for a young girl that had just finished burying the only parent she had left in the world, Mika was coping well.

The same could not be said for Mika's older sister. But that girl had been a little off balance long before her father died. Several times now, River had caught Lizzie down by the outer fence. It wasn't unusual for the kids to break the rules and sneak out there. Some of the older boys liked to stab at the walkers throught the fence to show how tough they were. But when River caught Lizzie, the girl had been standing dangerously close to the fence, staring at the walkers and talking to them. Touching the tips of their rotting fingers with hers. To quote a phrase River's mother had been fond of, that girl was a few bricks shy of a full load. Now her father was dead and Carol had agreed to care for them. Which of course meant River had agreed to help her. She would be happy to help Carol care for Mika, who was a sweet and caring girl. But the thought of having Lizzie as her personal responsibility gave River a sick feeling down in the pit of her stomach.

"Woman!" The shout came from inside her cell. River rolled her eyes and stood up, heading for the open curtain that hung in the doorway.

"Don't call me like a dog Merle," she scolded, only half serious since she had picked up on the teasing tone in his voice when he hollered at her. He was confined to bed until the swelling in his ankle went down. This meant that he was bored and probably feeling like getting a rise out of her might be more entertaining than reading the books she had piled up by the side of the bed for him.

"Ya came when I called ya," he teased, "...like a dog." River rolled her eyes again, her hand cocked up on her hip. Then she dropped her arm and turned. Seeing that she was ready to march off, Merle hollered at her again. "I think I feel hot." At that River rushed into the cell, her face instantly contorting into a mask of worry and concern. She leaned down, putting her hand against her husband's forehead. River looked so worried about him, Merle almost felt a little bad for tricking her. But not that bad. He grasped her wrist.

"That's not where I feel hot," he told her, "it's here." He dragged her hand down, pressing her warm palm against the hard bulge in his pants. Merle watched River, getting more enjoyment than he should out of the expressions that shaped the features of her face. There was a moment of confusion that came just before she realized that not only was he not sick at all, he was toying with her. The confusion was followed quickly by shock and a healthy amount of irritation. River yanked her hand back and crossed her arms under her breasts, staring at him with her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth hanging slightly open. Merle exploded in loud bellowing laughter.

"Goddammit," River cursed, "this ain't a damn joke." Of course her serious tone only made Merle laugh harder. River snapped her mouth shut and shook her head at him. Here she was, worried every moment that they were all about to die from some weird walker swine flu and all Merle was worried about was making jokes at her expense. She moved quick, her hand shooting out like a snake and giving him one good hard stinging slap right in the crotch. Merle grunted, clutching his stomach. But clearly she hadn't hit him hard enough since he was still laughing his ass off at her.

"Have fun jerking off left handed," River told him, pointing a finger at him. Merle tried to stop laughing, but she had spoken her angry words loud enough that he could hear the girls outside his cell laughing. And River was always damn cute when she got mad enough that she broke out her mommy finger at him. She used the same gesture to point at the girls when they were doing something that really pissed her off. Seeing that she was ready to storm off again, and possibly make good on her threat of no sex for the next few days, Merle tried to get his laughter under control long enough to call her back.

"Come'on, come back," he called out, "M'sorry!" There was a moment where he wasn't sure of his wife was already gone and maybe not coming back for a while. But then River appeared back in the doorway of the cell, looking like she was trying her hardest to look as annoyed with him as possible. The crook in her nose was always more obvious when she scrunched her face up like she was doing. The break in her nose used to make him angry. At that time, Merle felt like she was refusing to fix the break in her nose as a personal insult to him. To shame him and remind him of what he had done to her. But he had moved past that, understanding now what he had always known deep down. River wasn't a vengeful person. Now he liked to think of her nose as a reminder. A reminder to never let things get that bad between them again. Never to be that man again.

"M'sorry," he insisted, his stomach still jerking from the laughter he was trying his very best to hold in.

"I'd have an easier time believin' that if ya weren't still laughin' yer ass off," River shot back.

"M'not laugin'," he insisted, biting at his lip to try and keep from grinning. Then he held his arms open for her. River hesitated in the doorway, trying to decide if she wanted to come to him or not. Her hip was cocked out, showing the soft curve of her hip under the worn demin shorts she was wearing. She was hesitating. But not in the same way she used to. He used to be able to see the pain and fear in her eyes when she looked at him. Now the worst he saw was just a little touch of annoyance at him for teasing her.

River held her ground for a moment longer before she couldn't take it anymore. She hurried to close the small space between them, letting Merle wrap his arms around her as she rested her head against his chest. River took a few deep breaths, hugging him back as best she could without touching the places on him that were still tender and painful. He stroked his hands over her hair, smoothing down the wild tendrils that had escaped from her long swinging ponytail. She felt the press of his lips on her head, and then he was whispering softly to her. Telling her what he knew she needed to hear. That everything was going to be alright. None of them were going to get sick. And even if they did, that no fucking cold was going to take them down after everything they had already survived.

River lifted her head up, smiling at him. Merle didn't always give her what she wanted, but he gave her what she needed. She twined her fingers into his hair as she leaned close enough to press her lips against his. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss as much as he dared with the curtain to his cell open and his young daughter and her friend sitting only a few feet away.

"Want me to make ya some chicken noodle soup?," River asked, leaning in for one more lingering kiss. Merle thought about all the other things he would prefer over a bowl of tasteless condensed soup, deciding quickly that asking for a blowjob was likely to get him slapped in the dick again.

"Sounds good," he said. It was a lie, but not an unkind one. Of all the things he missed the most from before the turn, River's home cooking was the one that came to mind the most. She had never let him or the girls eat dinner from a can. One of the many things he never appreciated about her until she was gone. Merle wrapped one long strand of River's hair around his finger, letting it slide through his grasp until it slipped away and fell down behind her back. River pushed herself up and off the bed, stopping to smile back into the cell once before she headed off towards the kitchen.

River expected to find Carol in the kitchen, but the space was empty aside from the orange and white tabby cat that some of the children had spent the better part of the last month taming up with tiny bits of meat and fish. The way the cat was sitting with all it's legs and it's tail tucked in underneath it's body made River smile. It looked like a big furry meatloaf with a kitten head on top, sitting on the table and sunbathing in the one long stream of light that was shining in from one of the high unreachable windows.

Lifting up onto her tiptoes, River pulled a large can of soup down from the tall metal shelving unit. She flipped on the one electric hot plate they had, hoping that the solar panels had enough juice left in them to heat the soup up to at least simmering. She could take the large stock pot outside and heat the soup up over the fire pit, but cooking over a smoky fire in the outside heat was not something she enjoyed. Especially when she had already showered and didn't want to get sweaty all over again. Cranking the can open, she allowed herself a rare moment of self pity, missing the nice big fully equipt kitchen she had back in her bakery. The multiple gas ovens in the walls and the stovetop with the extra large burners that could heat a gallon of water to boiling in only a few minutes. River tried not to dwell on luxuries she missed from before the outbreak. She had lost many simple comfort items, but she had gained her family back. The gain was more than worth the loss, at least for her. But sometimes she really did miss having a real kitchen.

Waiting for the large pot of soup to heat on the hot plate, River sat down and stroked her hand over the cat's long soft fur. The animal opened it's sleepy eyes, regarding her with a miniscule amount of suspicion before it closed them again and leaned into her gentle touch. River scratched it behind the ears and rubbed her knuckles against the rounds of it's cheeks until she heard it's little purr motor start running.

Petting the cat reminded her of how her daughters used to beg for a pet when they were younger. River always told them no. It wasn't that she didn't like animals, but more because she barely had her act together enough to take care of the three of them. The thought of adding a puppy or kitten to the mix always felt like more responsibility than she could handle. The closest thing they ever had to a pet were the injured frogs and turtles Harley used to bring home and keep in small glass tanks in her room until she felt like they were well enough to be returned to the duck pond near her school. River didn't care for the slimy reptiles, but she always allowed Harley to keep them in the hopes that her older daughter was a blossoming young doctor or nurse.

River was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of soup sizzling against the hot plate. She jumped up and turned the burner off, watching the thick angry bubbles slowly simmer down until only the steam coming off the soup was betraying how hot the liquid was. River grabbed a large lunch tray, one thing there was no shortage of at the prison. She grabbed one bowl at first, then added another. She would come back and take Merle his soup in a little while. Karen and David were sick downstairs and River was worried no one had thought to bring them lunch. She knew no one was really supposed to have contact with them, but River fiugred she could leave the tray outside the cells they were in. Just to be safe she untied the hanky she was wearing around her neck like a scarf and wrapped it around her so it was covering her nose and mouth.

With the two full bowls of soup and two large bottles of water rolling around on it, the tray was heavy and ungainly. River braced it with both hands, determined to make it down the steps without spilling. The rubber soles of her sneakers were making little squeaking noises against the cool concrete floor, so River picked her feet up as she walked. If Karen or David were resting, she didn't want to wake them. River heard a wet hacking cough echo down the hall and she paused for a moment, glad she had thought to wrap her hankerchief around her nose and mouth before she came down here. River could see the opening to the cell she guessed Karen was in. That was where the coughing was coming from.

Moving forward, River peeked inside, trying to see if the woman was awake or asleep. Someone was leaning over Karen's body, and the masked figure startled River. She had not been expecting to find anyone else down here. Most people were too afraid of getting sick, which was why River was worried in the first place that no one had thought to bring the infected people down anything to eat. But then River recognized the figure and sighed with relief. It was only Carol. Carol was the kindest, most selfless person River knew. Of course she had thought to come down here and take care of Karen and David. River opened her mouth to greet the woman. But before she could get the words out, Carol raised a knife up and stabbed Karen in the head.

The tray dropped to the floor with a loud clang. Hot soup splashed out, burning River's ankles and legs where her skin was bare. But she didn't even feel it. She was breathing hard and fast, the material of the hankercheif sucking into her open mouth and making her feel like she was suffocating. Carol turned, startled by the sudden loud splashing noise. River's eyes were wide and frightened. She was stepping backwards, the skin on her ankles turning an angry red where the soup had burned her.

River felt the cold hard press of bars against her back. Carol was coming towards her with the knife still in her hands. The one she had just used to murder Karen. River was so focused on the woman that she didn't hear the shuffling moan behind her. The only thing that saved her from being bitten were the walls between her and the animated corpse that used to be David. River shrieked, her cries muffled by the rag around her mouth. Carol raised the knife, stabbing David through the bars. He fell back, releasing his grip on River's throat.

"River, it's alright," Carol said, slapping the woman lightly across her cheeks. River looked dangerously close to hysterics. But the light contact make her eyes go focused again. She looked at Carol first, then glanced back and forth between her and Karen's dead body.

"Why?," River asked. The question was simple and Carol was grateful for it.

"Karen was dying, her lungs were filling up with blood," Carol explained. River looked back at David's body, the blood that had poured from his eyes and nose was still streaked across his face. It looked like he had died a horrible and painful death, but she had a feeling there was something more Carol wasn't telling her.

"And...," River asked, wishing more than anything that it was safe to yank down the hanky she had tied around her nose and mouth but knowing it wasn't. She needed a big breath of air. Carol sighed through her own mask.

"...And they were a threat," Carol admitted. "Do you want your girls to die like this?," she asked. River looked at the dead man again and shook her head. She still didn't feel good about what Carol had done. Karen was their friend. She deserved better. But River understood now why Carol had done it. She wasn't being unkind, she was just trying to stop the sickness from spreading. Trying to save them. "The bodies need to be burned to make sure no one else gets sick from them," Carol added. They also needed to be burned quickly, before someone came down here and stopped her. Karen was well liked and Carol knew people would want to bury her body. She couldn't risk that. Daryl had already exposed himself enough burying the other dead. She would have him risking himself like that again. Even if he was romantically involved with another woman, it would kill Carol to see him hurt or sick.

River nodded, understanding now that there was no going back from what Carol had already done. She pulled herself up off the hard dirty floor, finally feeling the burns on her legs but choosing to ignore the pain. Carol expected the woman to leave. That's what everyone in Carol's life had done to her for as long as she could remember. Left when things got too hard. The only person that ever stayed was that bastard Ed, which was part of the reason that she stuck by him all those years. Good or bad he was the only constant in her life.

But River didn't leave. Instead she squared up her shoulders and walked into Karen's cell, trying obviously not to look at the dead woman more than she had to. River stood near the head of the bed and gestured for Carol to come in and help her.

"You get'er legs and I'll get'er arms."

** First of all huge thanks to anyone that took the time to leave a review. I wasn't a huge fan of the swine zombie flu storyline so I'm probably not going to spend a ton of time on it.

Also I know I got a few reviews about Daryl and Carol. To make the ages of River and the girls work, Daryl and Merle are slightly younger in this story than they are on the show. (Their ages are never actually given so I figured it was fair enough to make them whatever age I wanted.) Because of this there is a significant age gap between Carol and Daryl. I know its popular in Caryl stories to make them the same age or even make her younger, but I like the idea of her being older than him. I hate the double standard of age gaps between men and women. There's nothing wrong with dating or being attracted to a younger man, especially one as hot as Daryl. The age difference will end up being mentioned and addressed later on in the story so I didn't want anyone to be confused about it.

Thanks again to anyone that took the time to leave a review. Also for those who don't know the site has been acting up and making it really hard to upload new chapters. I had to cut and paste this one in and it took out all my punctuation in the process so I apologize if there are more gramatical or format mistakes than usual.**