The Burden of Heroism.

She didn't want to kill him, she really didn't. But he woke her up. She was having a particularly bad dream, and she had really bad ones. Only that wasn't an excuse, she had committed a crime and she would have to face the consequences. Though maybe he'll find someone to fix it. Whoever makes him move again, his heart will beat anew. She just needs to put it together. She won't be wandering everywhere with the remains, because everyone will know... Who was she deceiving? After such a kick nit, and what absolutely no one will restore it to its original state. Even with all of She-Ra's power, she won't be able to undo what she's done...

She murdered the antique clock from Eridani, again. Already the third this year. The first was annihilated when a mechanical wyvern sprang out of it without warning , announcing with a piercing scream that the hour had struck. Another was destroyed by Swift Wind for the same reason. Next they destroyed with Catra when they made love. One was destroyed by Melog when Bow's nephew threw him a ball, and another by Bow himself when he practiced shooting blindfolded. Twenty-three clocks died in Brightmoon in total ... so they could never say they had enough clocks. The people of Eridani had a strange habit of gifting them with various gear-driven mechanisms. They regarded such gifts as an expression of the highest respect, for they were often based on designs of items dating back to before the Loss, some extremely important date whose meaning was difficult to understand for most of the inhabitants of Etheria, let alone her, for whom the world before Hordak's arrival was almost like a fairy tale. But Bow, Glimmer, and especially Scorpia usually got wind-up toys of some sort, Scorpia had a whole room full of them. Well, the ruler of scorpions did not murder gifts. It was actually amazing how much delicacy she could find in those pincers of hers. Perfuma knew it best.

"She-Ra Adora, princess of power, chosen of the light, slayer of Horde Prime, savior of the known worlds, Master of the universe, is everything okay?" The guard's voice rang out.

"Firstly, many times I asked to be called simply Adora, secondly, are you aware that if there was someone here who threatened me, you wouldn't be able to list all these titles?"

-"Not She-Ra Adora ..."

"You are not aware?" She interrupted him hopefully.

"I can't agree to not naming you properly. Disregard for convention leads to Anarchy, anarchy leads to Chaos, and just wait for another Horde Prime to emerge from Chaos. The future of the universe rests on my shoulders. I can't fail."

She blinked twice.

"Just bring the tea . she asked resignedly.

"What She-Ra Adoro ..." the guard began, but she didn't let him continue, she just roared.

"WET!"

The guard left. Inwardly, she could only hope that it would at least it will be warm. This has been her life for the past two weeks. Giving speeches, cutting ribbons with a sword, hearing speeches, watching a performance about how she defeated Horde Prime . The latter tended to be strange, the locals outdoing each other in making the ruler of the Horde more and more grotesque and exaggerated. She'd met him a few times and he was definitely scarier than any comic buffoon she'd seen here. At first she tried to explain that it was completely different from the performance but Scorpia and Perfuma convinced her not to. It is surprising that the couple enjoyed the performances so much. After what the Scorpion princess had been through, she expected her to feel bad about seeing Horde Prime again, but instead she laughed at the oddities of all these versions...

"They made thirty eyes on this one, and they're all cross-eyed." She laughed, though then she worried whether it was appropriate to laugh at people with a crossed-eyes.

She was glad that no one was interested in her whole story. Hers and Catra's. She preferred not to wonder how she was portrayed here… Her fiancée liked to laugh at She- Ra and the rest of her friends, and even at herself in the Double Trouble Theater, but those shows had their limits and a bit of good taste… though recently she had the impression that Sea Hawk was slowly becoming the main character. However, some people might exaggerate here...

But it wasn't the plays that frustrated her the most, it was the expectations... of her and of She- Ra ... still of her. It was… hard to bear. On Etheria, most people understood that she was… a normal woman, but everywhere else she was seen as a superbeing , a perfect creature who was asked for so much, so much more than she was able to give. She thought she was free of the Shadow Weaver, and after leaving Etheria, the Shadow Weaver turned out to be others.

She sighed and swept the remains of the clock under the huge canopy bed. She was somewhat accustomed to luxuries after living in Brightmoon for years, so the room didn't overwhelm her, though she was assured that it was worthy of a queen... But without Catra, she might as well have slept on the cold stones, and even the narrow bunk by her side was a hundred times more comfortable. more comfortable than a down pillow.

She smiled proudly to herself. At first glance, there was no sign that there had ever been a clock here. Of course, the cleaning lady would probably find the remains, so she probably made her extra work ... though as she'd already noticed, almost everything she used suddenly became very valuable, so probably the remains of this clock will be worth much more now than they were before. This display of adoration was so disturbing that she took many items with her, such as dirty underwear or used sanitary napkins, preferring not to think about what they could do with them.

Tea was finally brought to her, as well as supper, though she had not ordered the latter. She got enough banana bread with honey to feed all three of them. But Catra would snort, she hated honey. But she made herself an early dinner. After she ate, she felt really refreshed and left the room with renewed vigor... Where four guards were waiting for her, staring at her adoringly.

"She- Ra'o Adoro princess…" the same guard began, but she cut him off by raising her hand.

"Did I ask for something? No titling and don't talk to me about Chaos again!" she screamed. He looked at her with undisguised resentment. She wished Catra were here with her, she was much better at intimidating annoying types. "What are we planning for today?" she asked, feeling more tired than before bedtime.

"Princess Perfuma and Princess Scorpia have gone to the Kings Gardens and then they will go to the valley of Kelimene , where together you will heal the area where the vacuum booms were used." said the guard with a renewed sense of humor.

"Great, take me to them." she asked, but the guard frowned

"Unfortunately, first you will have to answer the questions of the inhabitants of the North Dedalus' Democratic People's Republic ."

She sighed resignedly.

"All right, go ahead. I want it all behind me now."

The current capital of the North Dedalus' Democratic People's Republic, Clytemnestra, was a large city, at least for her, with almost two hundred thousand inhabitants, although there were larger cities on Icarus . It survived only because there were many old monuments here. Horde Prime had a warped love of art, and avoided destroying old buildings unnecessarily. Temples were the exception, usually he either destroyed them or remade them so that he seemed to be the main and only inhabitant of these places. Now she was in She- Ra's form in a huge amphitheater. There were several hundred people sitting here, and most of them were children or so-called journalists. For the first two quarters of an hour, she answered questions from the youngest. About what she likes to eat (anything but a lot), whether she brushes her teeth and cleans her ears (of course!), about her favorite color (gold and blue). She actually liked that. Only then did it become unpleasant. A tall and handsome woman in a red army beret and dress uniform asked her.

"Is it true that She-Ra, the so-called savior of the Galaxy, was a Horde soldier?" Her voice was hard and judgmental, as if it were an interrogation.

"Well, yes, I was ... But what does it matter?" she asked confused.

"You're not asking questions here, I'm asking you, and since I'm asking you, it obviously matters." she said sharply, with a reprimand in her voice

"Excuse me, but who are you?" she asked indignantly.

"I'm Claw , Ivory Claw. Former resistance member and decorated veteran, now a journalist working for the state newspaper Only Truth, but continuing. Is it true that you have risen to the highest position in the Horde on Etheria?" She didn't take her eyes off her.

"No ... I mean, I was appointed force captain, but it wasn't the highest position. The highest was Lord Hordak's , and Second in Command was next, but" She didn't finish as Ivory Claw cut her off.

"Is it true that until the time of "leaving" from the Horde, you were a pupil, even a protégé of the Second in Command known as Shadow Weaver?" said the journalist. The children stared at her confused, but the adults began to whisper among themselves.

"Yes, but I wouldn't say to…" Ivory Claw She nodded and cut her off again.

"Wasn't this Shadow Weaver formerly known as Light Spinner and taught at a university called Mustacor and was widely respected there and sat on the university council?" she said, and stared at her obviously judging.

"Yes, but how do you know that?"

Oh was a very good question. Even on Etheria, this was not common knowledge.

"I conducted a journalistic investigation, that's all you need to know, I can't say more because I would have to reveal my sources, and this is against elementary professional ethics. But back to the pertinent question of whether your defection coincided by some strange coincidence with the finding of an ancient artifact giving you She- Ra's powers." Ivory Claw tapped her notebook with a pen.

"Yes , but it had nothing to do with …" she had a growing impression that this woman was accusing her of something, but she did not understand what.

"Are you engaged?" the journalist asked unexpectedly.

"Yes, my fiancée's name is Catra, and our wedding is on Victory Day." she said and smiled at her thoughts.

"Was your fiancée also a member of the Horde, you even grew up together?"

"And what about this? There were hundreds of cadets like us in the Fright Zone…" She could feel the fury rising inside her.

"But it was your fiancée who took Shadow Weaver's position after she overthrew her and led an offensive that nearly ended in a Horde victory, and before that she almost destroyed your planet with your sword, and before that she carried out a terrorist attack that resulted in the kidnapping of your queen, and then led to an ecological catastrophe on a global scale." The journalist slowly came down to her, tapping the notebook in the rhythm of her steps. Her hands tightened on the sword. Even though the woman was two heads shorter than her, she didn't look away, but looked into her eyes as if challenging her.

"It... wasn't like that... What are you getting at!" she screamed, barely holding back. He will not allow Catra to be maligned ! Who were they to make such accusations behind her back!

"I'm going for the truth , because only the truth can save us, isn't it?" the woman said smiling mockingly. "And just one more question. Is it true that you were brought to the Horde's headquarters by Hordak , who was the leader of the Horde on Etheria?" Ivory Claw raised an eyebrow questioningly.

She blinked twice. Everything the reporter said was true, but somehow twisted so that it no longer had anything to do with what actually happened.

"What are you insinuating." she said sharply, barely controlling herself.

Ivory Claw snorted.

"Is it how you call the pursuit of truth on your Etheria?" She turned to the crowd and continued. "Please, my compatriots, think about it. The leader of the Etherian Horde finds an infant, a representative of an ancient, supposedly extinct race, and takes her into his care. He gives it to his right hand for training, There he trains with his future fiancée. She then deserts when she finds an ancient artifact that only she can use and accidentally befriends the future queen. During this time, her future bride gains one of the highest positions in the Horde. After about a year of fruitless wrangling, they manage to snatch the planet from its mysterious hidden dimension, and it immediately falls into Horde Prime's clutches. The queen and fiancée are kidnapped aboard the Velvet Glove. However, the tyrant who is responsible for the deaths of millions of our countrymen does them no harm, and a few months later She-Ra frees them both with virtually no resistance. Shortly afterwards, while Horde Prime is trying to activate a weapon capable of destroying us all, She-Ra somehow makes the ruler of the known worlds disappear and nothing is known about him until now, so we all assume he is dead, possibly right… perhaps. These are the facts. We see a lot of coincidences here . Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences... Sometimes... Come to your own conclusions." The journalist finished and took her place in the audience.

She felt everyone's eyes turn to her. She was used to it and accepted it, but this was different. There was fear and accusation in them. Theirs eyes pierced her like steel spikes. She didn't understand what Ivory Claw was up to , what she wanted from her. But she didn't have time to think about it, because suddenly everyone in the audience started bombarding her with questions.

"How many people have you killed in the service of the Horde?" the older scarred veteran asked.

"Was it all arranged from the beginning?" a tall woman asked.

"Will Horde Prime come back? I'm scared!" cried a frightened child.

She looked around the crowd and felt her heart choke with fear. So she did the only thing she could think of, a very silly thing. She grabbed her sword and jumped several hundred meters, then another, and another, to be as far away from the accusing eyes as possible.

It only calmed down on the outskirts of the city, in the area since Horde Prime's conquest . Was it the old holy quarter, or was it a temple distrikt? Somehow... Anyway, the Lord of the Known Worlds had most of the inhabitants wiped out, but he spared the buildings, they were too beautiful for even he to destroy... But what he did was even worse. He ordered to replace the images of the so-called gods, spirits and saints with his likenesses, sometimes triumphing over the beings who were worshiped here. She didn't understand the point of building temples and attending them, at least until recently, but what Horde Prime had done seemed wrong even to her. But it was the right place, because hardly anyone lived here. Although the images of the insane tyrant were removed immediately after the victory and the temples began to be rebuilt soon after, very few returned to this district. It was said that this place is haunted, that this place is haunted by the ghosts of those who died here. But she wasn't afraid, she didn't believe in such things. Shadow Weaver liked to tell them scary stories, usually about scary princesses. The headless princess. The wraith princess. The bloodsucking princess. It was all lies, as was most of what came out of the cursed sorceress's mouth. Everything she said was only meant to bend others to her will, to bind their minds with dark bonds. She and Catra were freed from her only when she sacrificed her wicked life for the only good deed... But if she was free, yo why is she thinking about her now.

"It's all because of this dream..." she thought to herself, rubbing her face with her hands. She was standing on the roof looking at the gloomy panorama of the district. She was still agitated and felt the power flowing through her, not letting her return to her natural form. "I just remembered one of those scary stories or novels that Mermista throws up to me" nothing else, she thought, but she knew she was lying to herself. The dream was too real, too real… and this evil… two kinds of evil, different but equally wicked. Just who were Charon and Creeping Chaos? The former seemed to know her. He knew She-Ra just like Horde Prime. So he was at least as old... Did he know Mara? Or one of the previous She-Ra? She knew nothing about them, other than a few hints from Madam Razz. Didn't that mean she didn't know anything about herself?

She groaned. Why does it always have to be so complicated?

She jumped down still in She-Ra form. She needed to rest for a while, be alone for a while, away from all those people who adored her, who wanted something from her… who accused her of not doing enough . The building on which she stood was not very impressive, rather modest, almost devoid of decorations.

"Come on in, don't be afraid." called a voice from inside, strangely resonant, as if it was coming from many places at once. She sighed and stepped inside, still trapped in She-Ra's body. Lately she had been having more and more trouble returning to her true form, at least when she was agitated. She didn't want to go in there, but she didn't want to run any further, she was tired, tired of it all.

She went inside. The interior was as modest as the exterior. The only decoration was the image of a black butterfly on the wall. It was simple, even conventional, somewhat in the style of ornaments so favored on Etheria. It did seem quite old though, which was quite unusual considering how Horde Prime hated such buildings. There were no chairs, benches, or anything of the sort needed to receive those who wished to worship the being to whom this place was dedicated. Only her inner glow illuminated the place. There was one person here, a woman of about forty, somewhat stocky. She turned to her and found out she was blind

"Welcome to the Temple of the Black Butterfly. Silence Between." she said in a strong and melodious voice.

She smiled at her.

"Maybe I just need silence." she said bitterly.

"In silence, the voice of the soul is heard best. Call me Zei . I have been taking care of this place for a long time, even before the occupation." the woman explained to her.

"Voice of the soul, it's wonderful. One more voice willing to tell me what to do or what I'm already doing wrong. " She looked sadly at the floor.

"It is not difficult to always do everything perfectly and not make any mistakes. It is enough to know everything and see everything"

She shivered as Horde Prime's favorite phrase was mentioned

"He said so too." she said darkly and a little suspiciously.

"He said a lot of things and few of them were true. No one, except maybe one, knows everything, and absolutely everyone makes mistakes." the woman said in an amused voice.

"But not every mistake depends on other people's lives. very many. She knelt, crushed by the weight of heroism. The woman walked over to her and touched her cheek. She immediately drew back as it reminded her of the way Shadow Weaver had treated her.

"Sorry, I just usually touch other people's faces to know who I'm talking to… though in your case I don't have to." I sensed your power and… sadness from a distance. Truly, a great burden is upon your shoulders, She- Ra'o , liberator... child of the void."

Tears sprang to her eyes involuntarily and she felt them trickling down her cheeks.

"Sometimes I don't have the strength anymore. I'm so tired ... " she said, exposing her soul to this woman. Perhaps she had done wrong, but in that very moment she felt herself becoming Adora again .

"Fate can be cruel and often gives us more than we can handle, especially when we try to be the good and selfless ones. We can only bow before it, or face it with our heads held high, but it doesn't matter anyway." Zei said sadly, but also warmly.

"It's very pessimistic." she said bitterly.

"But also true ... However, fate can be deceived. At least for a while, come with me to my apartment. I have something for people like you. Lost and… lovers separated by an interstellar space, and as far as I know, you fall into both of these categories…" Zei said . She was a little wary, but followed her. They found themselves in a small flat at the back of the sanctuary. It was cramped and cluttered with backpacks, traveling clothes and rations. Apparently, the keeper of the sanctuary did indeed often help lost souls.

"I work as a massage therapist and collect donations from those few travelers who visit my sanctuary before interstellar travel. That's why I buy these things. Listen to me, you need to be alone for a while, get away from She- Ra as much as possible for you." Zei said . She smiled at her, but spoke in a serious tone.

"I have two friends. I have to inform them ..." she explained, but the blind woman interrupted her.

"Yes, I understand ... These two princesses from Etheria. Don't worry, I'll let them know everything. I have some contacts here and I have a lot of respect…"

She smiled and told them what she had to say, then packed up and went on her way, not even noticing the black butterflies that usually accompany lost and separated lovers.

"Honey, Flower, you must wake up, because they are coming" she heard and with a battle cry she sprang up to fight, ready to repel the Hive's attack. She saw a large group of children and Scorpia staring at her in bewilderment. She laughed nervously and discreetly withdrew the vines she had summoned to immobilize her attackers.

"I'm sorry, I had a bad dream… And I got a little scared." She explained clearly embarrassed. She dozed only for a moment on the bench, and her wife covered her with a blanket. The dream… it was terrible, it seemed to last for weeks, and it was so realistic. But now she was in the "King's Gardens," though there was no king in North Dedalus' Democratic People's Republic. Sometimes the galaxy could be confusing.

Horde Prime had said to keep the place, but only white flowers from a distant planet could grow here. The garden had to be perfect, otherwise the inhabitants would be punished. At first, these flowers looked cute, but after hearing this story, they started to annoy her. Now, however, new plants have been planted. Many of them were very similar to the plants living on Etheri, she had read about others, so now she could tell children about what grew here and, using her magic, showed them flowers in various stages of blooming. Scorpia also listened to her attentively, although she had heard her talk about it more than once. Her wife was so lovely...

Showing the children around calmed her down. The dark dream passed, now she felt the warmth returning to her soul and she was fine again. Then they began to prepare for the journey to the valley of Kelimene, where she was to help heal the land there. She knew it would be painful, but she knew someone had to do it. Then came word from Adora. A letter was delivered to them, the messenger was a quiet boy dressed in black, who immediately disappeared somewhere. The content of the letter was as follows.

Adora must experience silence

To hear the voice of her soul

She will join you soon

And then the letter turned into a butterfly and flew away towards the gardens...