IBRAHIM'S POV (3 Years ago- 3 months after Rose has left)
"It's a pleasure to meet you after so long, Mr Mazur," I kept my smirk on my face as I observed the 25-year-old mafia leader.
"Has been a long time Dimitri," I told him. He nodded.
"I would love to talk about the things we missed, but I believe there's something else you want?" He told me. I chuckled as he told me.
"I must tell you that you've grown from a 7-year-old to this. Handling business well are we?" I told getting up and going to the bar.
"I am. But I also wonder why you didn't come to my ball, the coronation one," He told making me laugh. I laughed as I poured us both a drink.
"Anything funny?" He asked me. I turned around and held out his drink to him.
"First advice. Never, I mean never call yourself a king. You might forget the bad side," I told him.
"Which is?" He asked me raising an eyebrow.
"There are thousands of other kings who want to be empires. You might be an easy target for them with an ego," I told him. His eyes observed me.
"What is it you want from me?" He asked me calmly.
"An alignment," He raised an eyebrow.
"With you?" He asked and I gave him a curt nod.
"Done," He told. A smile came to my face.
"But why?" He asked. I took a deep breath closing my eyes.
"I have a child. 7 years younger than you. And I have a threat, a one I failed to kill," I told him.
"So you want me to protect him? Or is it something else?" He asked.
"I'll tell you exactly what I want you to do with my child when you meet him but for now know that my threat is Robert Doru," I told him. His eyes darkened hearing his name.
"I'm going to fight beside you," He told me and I knew that there were no other words.
Time skip to the day he found Rose and they agreed to work together (Chapter 7)
"I realized everything too late boy," I told him sipping my whiskey.
"Will you just," He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Will you just tell me what exactly you want?" He asked.
"Remember our alignment?" I asked him.
"That was about her? And not Eddison?" He asked me. I nodded.
"She is my daughter. She stayed with me until she was 18 and then she left. She didn't want to be in this world and I fucked up in every way possible when it comes to her," I told him pausing to breathe.
"Go on," He told nodding.
"As you already know, she is the greatest hacker in the mafia world. Hell, she is the greatest hacker of them all! But I didn't want to bring her into this shit because of that! I... I wanted a chance," I said and looked at her photo on my table.
"I want to be her father. I'm too late for it, as you can see she clearly hates me so the last thing I can offer her is protection. This war will get brutal Dimitri. Robert has nothing to lose except for his wealth, that's why he wants what's mine, what's ours," I told him clenching my hand around the glass.
"He wants her," Dimitri whispered.
"She is the key to being unbreakable. She can bring one down with just a click," I told him.
"But I don't want her to be a captive of him. I want her to be safe," I told him.
"You want me to keep her safe?" He asked me. I nodded.
"Once things start to settle I will make her the underboss. And once things start to get worse, I will send her to Russia," I told him.
"I am to keep her safe, and make her the Donna in the Italian mafia?" He asked me.
"Can you do that?" I asked him.
"What if she doesn't want to be Donna? What if she refuses to be a part of the mafia?" He asked.
"I'm not going to force her. It's her choice, but the real question is can you keep her safe? Even from yourself as the Russian head?" I asked him.
"You have my word. I will, but I'm not sure of this plan. She doesn't seem to be the person who will surrender so easily," He told me.
"That will depend on the future," I told him.
PRESENT TIME
"I'm not going to continue with our plan Ibrahim. I can protect her from anything but protecting her from herself, is something beyond my power," I looked at Dimitri as he told me.
"I understand," I told him before turning around to go to my daughter.
My baby.
I stood in front of her door. I can hear her sobs from inside. Every sound of her broke my heart. I placed my forehead on her door.
"Rose," I called her.
"I know that you hear me. And I know I'm the last person you want to talk to. But please let me in," I told her. She didn't answer.
"I..." I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for abandoning you. I'm sorry for leaving you while you kept calling me when you were 3, I'm sorry for ignoring your wounds when you showed me them. I'm sorry for the childhood you didn't have. I'm sorry for the childhood you had, I'm sorry for being an awful father. You don't need to forgive me, just open the door. Please, just listen to me, and then you can leave even if you want. Please let's just talk. Please," I told her.
I heard her fumbling with the lock. I took a few steps back. She opened it. I looked at her. Her bloodshot eyes stared back at me.
"Rose. May I?" I asked her. She stood away from the door letting me inside.
"One wrong word, I'm leaving. One wrong word," She whispered glaring at me. I nodded and went to her bed.
"May I?" I asked her not wanting to make a wrong move.
"Your mother, she was the most beautiful girl I've seen in my life. I was 10 years older than her but with her, I felt like a goddamn teenager. She got pregnant when she was 18. It was unexpected. And on the day you were born she lost her life. And it broke me, but what happened on that day, it wasn't your fault. Even I thought it was but it wasn't," I told her.
"Why didn't you just throw me out of the house, or send me away?" She asked me.
"I... I was going to," I told closing my eyes. I heard her heavy breathing.
"But I saw you, and I know it's hard to believe but I couldn't give you up," I told her.
"So you decided, neglecting her is the best choice?" She asked and I flinched at her words.
"No, but as awful as it sounds, I couldn't face you," I told her.
"Because I killed her," She whispered. I looked at her.
"No, you didn't," I told her. She scoffed.
"It's true," I whispered.
"Please, dad face it! If I died, then she would've been here, and everything would've been okay! Both of you could continue your lives and have another child when both of you're ready! I'm the one who should've died not her! I killed her!" She yelled.
"No sweetheart no," I told getting up.
"Then why on this goddamn earth did you treat me like that? Why would you do that to me? Do you think I don't regret that day? I don't even celebrate my birthday, because every year that passes by kills me on that day," She yelled.
I'm sorry my baby. I'm so sorry! I tried to touch her cheek but she didn't let me.
"Sometimes I have dreams about her. She comes to me touches my cheek, and tells me how strong I am, but when I touch her or try to look at her face, she disappears, because I don't know her. I miss her so much, that you could never understand how much. I didn't have her when I first had my period I had no one. I was so scared, so scared all the time.
You are not the only one who lost her! I lost her too! I needed her! I needed my mom but she wasn't here and when I needed you, you weren't there either!" She told sobbing.
I felt tears streaming down my face as I realised that her words are true!
"And, and when Eddie came things worsened. You loved him, cared about him, he did nothing at all. I did everything I could to get your attention, everything, but no you never noticed me until I had shown off my technical knowledge, Why?" She asked me and I had no answers for any of them.
"And I was so jealous all the time. When he first came here you used to look after him, love him and I hated it. I wanted it. I was so jealous, and I hated him. But I stopped when I found him crying because he missed his aunt and uncle so much, I started loving him from that day. You were there for him but not for me, why?"
I knew that it was wrong too. Being with Eddie more than her. But I just couldn't look at her.
"Why did I have to give you my childhood to receive nothing?" She asked falling to her knees. I knelt too and pulled her into my arms.
I didn't have answers. I wish I did, I wish, I could tell her that it was a mistake, but I couldn't, not when I knew what I was doing was wrong.
"And do you know what the worst part is? Even after I left, I couldn't help but think if you guys are fine. If you and Eddie are fine. If you were missing me too, and it was killing me every day. Why on earth can't I hate you? Why can't I hate you and leave you, as you did? Why didn't you abuse me? Why didn't you hit me? If you did, maybe then I would've been able to hate you! I always thought you would come back. YOu would change but you didn't. Why?" She asked holding a tight grip on my shirt.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my dear sweet child, I'm so sorry," I told her.
"Please don't do that again baba. I can't take this pain anymore! I can't, " She told uncontrollably sobbing hiding her head in my chest.
"Never again," I mumbled hugging her tightly as she cried.
I didn't make that promise only to her. I made it to myself. She's not a child anymore. I won't be able to give her the childhood, that I destroyed. And now she has matured so much! And I won't be able to hold her forever. But maybe, just maybe I'm not too late to be a small part of her life.
...
DIMITRI'S POV (TWO DAYS LATER)
I continued to watch outside as Leonid updated me about Russia.
"What should we do boss?" He asked me.
"Attack the brothel and save the girls and children. Make sure to capture that svoloch'," I told him.
"Should I give the authority to Vilam?" He asked me.
"No, to Mark, tell him to ring me before they attack. If that's all I'd like to leave," I told him.
"Sure boss," He told.
"I will surrender to the darkness,"
Her voice ran inside my head making me clench my teeth and eyes. It has been two days but here I am stuck to this window in the morning watching her. She would go to the gazebo and start playing her guitar. I can't hear her voice but her face, god her face screamed hurt!
I don't know what happened in her past! Well, not exactly but I sure know that there's more she's hiding.
I sighed!
"You're a coward!" I closed my eyes. It's not anyone else but me.
"Fucking stop it!" I mumbled.
"You know you want to go and talk to her, hold her. So go! she needs someone too," The voice inside me told me.
I've been going crazy for the past two days! I couldn't concentrate on anything but her. Her pained face did something and imagining her hurting herself made me go insane.
"Fuck it," I mumbled before leaving the room.
...
"You are broken on the floor
And you're crying, crying
He has done this all before
But you're lying, lying
To yourself, that he'll find help
That he will change to someone else
But you're broken on the floor
Still asking him for more"
My heart clenched as I heard her sad voice singing. Every word sounded close to her as if she was singing to herself and it made me feel dreadful.
She has her eyes closed and there were strained tears on her cheeks. I went near her. Maple leaves crushed under my shoes. She opened her eyes with tears and look up at me. I reached out and wiped a tear which escaped her eye. I continued caressing her cheek. She moved a little bit making space for me. I sat down beside her.
Surprisingly a comfortable silence lay between us.
"I didn't come to LA at first. I went to New York first. I was more than broken. I stayed at a hotel. A good one, not those creepy neighbourhoods one. I didn't go out much. I took all the money I had in accounts before I left Turkey. But I didn't know what to do. All I did was stay in the room and think about my future. I... I couldn't sleep. At night, I stayed up because I couldn't sleep. I was tired but I couldn't go to sleep. There was a cafe` in front of the hotel. I went there more often to buy food. I met this man there. His name was Ali, or that's what he said. He saw the state I was in and offered help. I didn't trust him right there but he gave me a pill. He told me it'll help me to sleep," She stopped and I didn't tell anything. If anything I knew she needs to let them out.
"I took a half of it and that day I fell asleep without dreams. Just what I wanted. I started buying them from him weekly. I could go to sleep after drinking them but obviously, it did come with other circumstances," She stopped to take a deep breath.
And I braced myself.
"When I'm not using the drug, it brought me back my darkest secrets. I would hear a voice inside me, and it reminded me of everything that happened to me. The feeling of being neglected and alone hit me hard. And it made me go insane. It made me want the drug more. I wanted it to go to sleep and never wake up. One day I was going insane with all those miserable feelings, I accidentally knocked out a glass, I was cleaning the pieces when it cut my skin," She told and closed her eyes tightly.
"It took my pain away. That's what I wanted. My pain to go away. I started using the drug to go to sleep and cut myself to heal my inner self. I became weak. One day nearly after 2 months I went to the same alleyway I used to meet Ali. But I didn't see him. There was a huge smoke and I could see some men wearing suits. Ali was begging them but they shot Ali. Before I could scream my sound was muffled by someone's hand. Adrian. He took me away from there after those men left," She told and I gulped the lump growing in my throat.
"Apparently, he's a visitor in the hotel and has seen me going to the alley. So he followed me because there were blood stains on my sleeve. I went into my room and after 2 months for the first time, I hacked the security cameras near the alleyway. I removed any of the proofs of mine and Adrian. After that, I went to the hotel cafeteria where I met Adrian again. I didn't talk to him, but he suggested me leave New York. He also gave me his mental health clinic card. It was in LA. He told me that I'm young and didn't deserve to be grown like that. So I took my chances and came here," She told me.
"So meeting Lissa and then meeting Adrian is a lie?" I asked her and she nodded.
"I stayed in a hotel and then after like a week went to that clinic. I went for therapy and rehab for 2 months. After that, he told me to try higher studies. I decided to stay in LA and applied to the uni. I got in, met Lissa then others. I stayed in the dorm for the first semester. Adrian and I started dating at the end of the first semester. So in the next semester, we moved in together," She told.
"So all the money was enough?" I asked her.
"Oh about that. After 3 weeks of buying drugs, I realised it was not enough so I changed my appearance and flew to Las Vegas and did gamble. I won obviously," She told.
What the?
She closed her eyes and sighed.
"I'm not proud of what I've done. And I'm not telling you that it all helped me through life but I've learned my lesson, Dimitri. So please, I beg you," I looked at her.
"Don't take me to Russia. I want to breathe freely," She told. My heart clenched.
"I won't," I promised her.
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