HAYMITCH

I still couldn't believe what my eyes had seen. A Peeta almost to the bone, with signs of torture. I didn't want to imagine what they were doing to him now, after he warned us about the bombing.I had left the shared room assigned to me. I couldn't stand being surrounded by so many scared and sad people. So I sat outside in the corridor of my compartment.

Everything rumbled around me, the Capitol was still dropping bombs. Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I raised my head from my knees and saw the author of the gesture. Leila.

"I'm so sorry, Haymitch." she said, looking at me sadly. I just watched her, I didn't know what else to answer. Although I wanted to take it out on someone, I held back. I didn't want to bother her today. I moved to get her to let me go, I didn't need any of this. So I changed the subject.

"Did they assign you this compartment too?"

"Yes, I'm in the back room".

" It's late Leila, go to sleep." I urged her to leave, I didn't want anyone's company.

"I don't think anyone is going to sleep tonight. Everyone is scared. And even if it wasn't, I couldn't sleep."

"Why? Are you afraid of the dark? " I mocked

"I don't feel comfortable sleeping with so many people around me" She answered me honestly. I don't like being in the dark or sleeping surrounded by strangers either. We were silent for a long time. Then Leila took my hand and started making circles on it with her thumb. I just let her do it, I didn't feel like fighting." Haymitch?" the girl caught my attention

" what's it? " I said tiredly

"I don't know how but I know that you are going to find the way to get Peeta out of the Capitol alive".

" you don't know that"

"Yes, I know, because you wouldn't abandon your family".

"Peeta and I are not family, I think it's obvious"

"Perhaps you do not share a blood bond but it is obvious how much you care about the boy. Snow knows this, which is why he's using it against you and Katniss" she paused before continuing "he's afraid of her" she said in a whisper

"Katniss?" I asked and she agreed.

"When Snow proposed to me to be in the 75 games, I saw something in him that I never thought I would see. What Katniss did in her games and after them, I don't know whether to call it brave or stupid."

"Brave, what she did and is doing is brave, Leila." I answered firmly. She looked at me seriously for a moment and then smiled sweetly.

"You love them a lot, don't you?" I didn't answer her " if I were in your place I would also do whatever it takes to protect the ones I love."

"Something like being a volunteer in the 75 games? " Leila released my hand and hugged herself.

"I was so naive and selfish" she whispered.

"Why selfish? It's not like you have the option of saying no to Snow".

"because I only thought about myself and what I wanted and not about the consequences of my actions"

"Does that mean that you regret not having killed Katniss in the arena?"

"No ! Of course not. You may be surprised and don't believe this, but I don't enjoy killing people. I never wanted this to happen. If only I had been smarter in the past I wouldn't have done what I did" Leila said with regret in her voice. I didn't answer her and silence reigned between us again. Hours passed and Leila stayed by my side, we didn't talk about anything else. The only noise I heard was the bombs. It made me shudder to think of what Peeta was going through right now. Leila was right about something though, I wasn't going to abandon Peeta and I knew Katniss wouldn't either. What he had done today for the 13th district, I would make sure to remind the higher ups, I don't know how it would happen but I would push for a rescue of all the captured tributes.

A couple of hours later, I felt Leila's head resting on my shoulder. The girl had fallen asleep. I could shake her so she'll get away from me but I let her be, it's not like she was bothering me. A couple hours later I felt her stir next to me.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep" she said embarrassed

"Yes, I noticed because of the snoring and the drool on my shoulder" I was not going to waste the opportunity to annoy her, at least it distracted my mind and the urgent need that my body demanded. Alcohol. My hands were shaking slightly again.

"I don't snore or drool when I sleep" she replied indignantly, blushing up to her ears.

"How do you know if you're asleep?" I mocked but she didn't answer me. She started to get up to leave. I sighed in frustration "okay I admit I'm lying." she looked at me for a moment and sat down next to me again.

" It must not be easy for you, right? Your hands are shaking" I regretted having stopped her, I should have let her go when I had the chance, now she was going to start feeling sorry for me and I wasn't going to allow that.

"It's none of your business"

"sometimes I miss it too" she said, looking at me out of the corner of her eye "you know, numb the mind"

"I don't remember you having any symptoms when you were in the hospital" she seemed pretty good when we got to 13, maybe bruised from the games but otherwise fine.

"It's because I left it years ago" she said laughing sadly "but the idea of it is still quite tempting."

"alcohol?"

"no, pills. It's more discreet" she said winking at me. I remembered when Varia drugged her on her victory tour, at the time she seemed reticent, apparently she took a liking to it.

"Of course, the Capitol wouldn't like their star girl to have any vice" I teased. She shuddered but nodded. "How did you manage to hide so well?" She took a moment to answer me.

"You have no idea of the scope of Snow and his allies."

"I know, he killed my family Leila. I know what he is capable of. I have been in this longer than you, I have seen 46 children from my district walk through death row just for their amusement and that of the people of the Capitol" I said furiously

"If you think that death is the worst thing he can do, you are wrong" she answered me sadly.

I remembered what Plutarch said about Leila, and how Snow managed to break her. Yes, there were worse things than death. What kind of torture was he punishing Peeta with? I knew Snow wouldn't kill him but what would be left of him if we managed to rescue him? . How I wished I could take his place. This was all my fault, every moment of Peeta's pain was my fault and my great idea not to trust them. I didn't realize, until I felt my cheeks wet, that I was crying, all the recent events were overwhelming me. I hugged my knees to my chest and hid my face in them. I hated being so weak and not being able to control myself and even more in front of the brat.

"Oh Haymitch" she said regretfully.

"leave me alone Leila" I asked

" everything will be fine, you'll see. I fully trust that you will find a way to get Peeta out of the capitol" she tried to comfort me. But she sounded as convinced as she was when she tried to justify her father.

"I'm not a child Leila, you don't have to lie. Go to your room and leave me alone." but instead of obeying me I felt her arms around me again. I didn't want to talk anymore, I hoped she would get bored quickly and leave me alone. However, she didn't leave, she stayed by my side the whole time, without saying anything else. After I don't know how much time I managed to calm myself down and raise my head from my knees. Leila was startled by the closeness of our faces and quickly released me.

" You must be tired Haymitch, why don't you try to go to sleep?" she said hastily.

"If you're tired, go away, I'm not asking you to stay," I answered a bit rudely.

" I told you I can't sleep here"

"nothing will happen to you. I think people are more afraid of you than you are of them".

" It's not just the people, it's also that it's too dark in here".

"So I was right, it's fear of the dark" I mocked.

Although it was hypocritical on my part, I couldn't sleep in the dark either. I realized that whenever I found Leila in the middle of the night it was in lighted places and she almost always tried to sleep there, not caring if she was on the floor. I at least had the privilege of having a lamp in my room, that was a gadget that was not given to everyone and I was sure that Leila did not have something in her room to light up her room.

"I'm not very fond of darkness either" I confessed.

"I had already noticed". It was true that if Leila pointed out something she didn't say, she never tried to make me feel bad even jokingly.

"Tell me about something, how have you been doing in the kitchen? Have you burned the water?" I wanted to change the subject and get distracted by something and I knew she was good at chattering. As soon as I blurted out my questions, her face lit up and she laughed.

"not yet. They don't really let me do much, just wash the dishes and clean here and there. Sae is the only one who entrusts me with more useful tasks like peeling or watching over some preparation".

"Well you can't blame them, you have no experience in anything, and the food is bad enough here, it would be a horrible idea if they put you to cook something" She was not offended by my comment, instead she laughed.

" you always complain about how horrible the food is, you should go into the kitchen and prepare it yourself. If you are so demanding you must know how to cook very well" she answered me while laughing. I would never admit that my weakness was cooking. In the past when I cooked my food would almost always scorch, I didn't care then because I was too drunk to care.

" I don't want to take the job away from others " I told her arrogantly but she just laughed. "So do you like being there?"

"yep, the truth is that I never paid attention to this type of activity before but I like it. Sae has explained to me various things and recipes that she cooked in the 12th district. Although I think sometimes I don't know if she's trying to scare me or impress me. You know, the other day she told me that she had made a very popular stew with rat meat, and other animals of her type" she laughed even more heartily

" And why is that funny to you? " I had tried Sae's stews and soups. In my youth when my mother had some money, she would take me and my brother to eat Sae's preparations. It was not uncommon for her to throw any animal into the pot, no one questioned it, at the end of the day it was meat, and it was a food that was scarce, so that was better than nothing.

"well, she is lying, who would eat something like that?"

"I don't know, maybe, someone hungry" I said sarcastically. She looked at me surprised for a moment.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked me doubtingly.

"no" I said seriously

"I didn't want to make fun of it, I just thought it wasn't true, that's all" she said ruefully. I saw her hand begin to peel the skin off the fingers of her other hand.

"Stop doing that" I scolded her and removed one of her hands from the other "you were the butcher's daughter so you never had to go hungry or that you would lack meat on the table. I can't blame you for that." Yes, Leila had grown up with more privileges than many of the people in the districts. If she was that skinny it wasn't because she lacked food, it was by choice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive" she said softly.

"It doesn't matter" I said. We stayed silent for a moment.

" Did you also have to do it?" she asked me cautiously.

" Like the vast majority of people in the Seam." I told her sincerely. She wrinkled her nose and I know she wanted to comment on something but she didn't dare for fear of angering me." just say it, I don't care"

"tell you what?"she said playing dumb

"that the idea disgusts you"

"I wasn't thinking that"

"do not lie. Say what you're thinking, I'm not going to get angry" she didn't dare to look at me and didn't answer me until a few minutes had passed.

" You're right, it disgusts me to think that someone has to resort to such extremes. It's not fair"

"Welcome to Panem" I laugh bitterly

" You lived in the Seam right? " I nod. "Do you miss that life despite not having much?"

"Leila, I had everything. My family to start. Not having beef on the table was the least of it" She didn't say anything to me afterwards, she seemed lost in her own thoughts. I didn't want her to be silent, I wanted to be distracted from my own mind and what my imagination made me think they were doing to Peeta now. "How did you distract yourself before the games? You said that you only trained but at some point you had to rest or do something else, right?" She meditated on her answer for a few minutes.

" I used to read. I liked to read a lot" I was surprised by her response. It wasn't a common pastime among the people of the districts, and if you add to that that books were scarce and most of it was Capitol propaganda, perhaps that's why she liked to read.

" I guess you read the stories that the Capitol approved."

"I don't think so" she replied guiltily and with that she aroused my curiosity

"tell me more" I urged her

"I don't remember how those books came into my hands but I was forbidden to take them out of the house. I always had to keep them in the hole in the closet that was hidden. Although I never understood why, there was nothing wrong with my books."

"How is it possible that your pro-Capitol father will let you have them?"

" I don't know. Maybe because he considered them stupid and unimportant" she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What kind of books were they?"

"Love stories" she said smiling.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound too dangerous." I said smiling too

"don't think they were just silly love books. There were also adventures and places that seemed like a dream, even the characters were not common. There were strange people I never heard of before" she said excitedly, defending her books.

"Are they stranger than the people in the Capitol?"

"Yes" she said laughing, "a story talked about pirates, do you know what that is?"

"No, I don't know" I had never heard of that.

"Well, there was a book that told the love story of a pirate, they are supposed to be bad and steal and sail in the sea, but the pirate in my story was not like the others and he kidnapped the protagonist and then they fell in love and they live happily."

"That doesn't sound like a nice person" I said.

" I'm telling it wrong. It was more interesting to read"

"I guess that if you could go to your district you would look for them" her excited look fell.

"No, they don't exist anymore" she said sadly.

"Did the peacekeepers take them from you?" she denied without answering me " what happened then with the books?" but she didn't answer me and I thought I knew the answer. Her abusive father must have taken them away. "Maybe in this district they have some books you can read, I'm sure they'll have some silly romance story and hopefully one of those pirate things" she gave me a half smile and the conversation died there.

I didn't try to talk to Leila anymore, we stayed in a relatively comfortable silence. After a few hours she fell asleep again with her head resting on her knees. I kept watching her, everything about her was neat, her hair semi-collected, well combed without any hair out of place, the ugly uniform of the 13 well placed, her posture, and even her way of speaking and expressing herself. Everything was in her place except for her hands, the only thing that betrayed her perfect countenance. She was the image of calm but if I looked at her hands I knew that her mind was not calm, although her nails did not look eaten, she had several of her fingers almost raw and the deep scratches on her hands were recent . Maybe she pretended everything was fine but I knew the pain from her sister's death was still there. I reached out my hand and grabbed a lock of her hair that was falling to her side. I entangled my finger in the ringlet that was forming at the tip of it, it was an intense red color like a waterfall of blood, I shook my head to get rid of that thought.

The hours went by and with it the days. Leila was with me most of the time, we only separated to attend to our basic needs and then met again in the hallway. At times I thought she was reading my mind, when I was more stressed or despair invaded my mind, she would bring up a topic out of nowhere and start the conversation distracting me a bit. Although most of the time she was the one who spoke, I only commented on something or briefly answered her questions. Her topics were always trivial, and I was grateful because I already had enough with my mind remembering all the horrible things that were happening.

On the fourth day we heard the announcement from President Coín that we could leave. It had been over 24 hours since the last bombardment and it was safe to go up to the upper levels. When the eviction began, I was led away from the rest by a soldier to join Plutarch and the rest. We all had exhausted faces and our nerves were still on the surface. As something exceptional they gave us coffee, this was the closest thing to having a luxury in the 13th district. The president's orders were that once they reorganize the entire district, they will resume activities and have the total damage count caused by the bombs, a new propo would be made early tomorrow morning with Katniss and Finnick to show the Capitol that we were still standing and fighting.

Finished the instructions, I went to the assignment office. In line I ran into Leila again, so cheating a little, I took advantage of the fact that it was almost her turn, to sneak in. I knew that no one would say anything because they didn't dare to address Leila directly, so I only earned a couple of annoyed looks.

"Thank you for saving me a place" I said out loud to Leila, winking at her. She just laughed and shook her head disapprovingly.

"No problem" when it was her turn I accompanied her

"last name?" asked Igride even though I was sure she knew everyone's first and last name. This was just ridiculous protocol.

"Brightlock" Leila replied. Igride rummaged through the office and handed her a package with clothes and toiletries. Something similar to what we had received when we were in lockdown only bigger

" your compartment is E room 10, your father has already been given the key"

"my father?" said Leila losing the colors on her face

"Yes, you share a room with him and your brother" the woman replied irritated

"Plutarch had given the order for Leila to have a single room" I intervened

"That was before the bombing. Now we have to rearrange everyone and we can't afford to give privileges to just anyone" Igride said, looking contemptuously at Leila. She took her things and walked away from her without arguing further. I gave my information, received my package, my room keys and decided to catch up with Leila. She was about to turn in the hallway but I saw her stop abruptly. I came up behind her and realized why she stopped. Leila's father was talking to Plutarch. We had a partial view of the two men although we could hear them perfectly clearly, without exposing ourselves to being seen by them.

"You know how good she is in everything she does, you've already verified it for yourself" Leila's father said to Plutarch

"Mr. Brightlock, I'm not interested" Plutarch replied in a low voice, moving quite uncomfortable.

"I understand, I understand" said Mr. Brightlock, laughing "no one has to find out, I know the delicate position you are in now. Leila has been assigned to my room, so I can arrange the meetings to be as discreet as possible, and of course all this in exchange for certain benefits for me" He finished with a foxy smile.

"I do not require those services, Mr. Brightlock, and if I were you I would refrain from conducting this type of negotiation in the 13th district. The laws are implacable here" Plutarch replied firmly.

"Apparently when we were under the laws of the Capitol, you had no problem spending time alone with my beloved daughter" Mr. Brightlock said mockingly, Leila tensed from head to toe.

"follow me" I whispered to Leila in her ear, she obeyed immediately without looking at me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but at least it would be a solution for today. Tomorrow when I was with Plutarch, I would press him to allow Leila a room by herself. I doubted that he would refuse and if he did, well, it would only be enough to make a couple of hints for him to give in. I think that the most impelled me to make this decision was seeing the girl on the verge of tears. The worst thing is that this confirmed my suspicions, Leila had been used in the same way as Finnick, Cashmere and other tributes, forced to prostitute themselves by orders of President Snow. And as if that weren't enough, one of her abusers was the person to whom she had entrusted her sister's life. I knew that Plutarch had earned Snow's trust by doing things that were not very ethical or moral, but it was another thing to confirm it. As soon as we got to the room I had been assigned, I let her in first. As expected, the room had two single bunk beds, a nightstand in the middle of the beds with a lamp, a small closet in the left far corner from the entrance, a folding chair next to it, and a small bathroom right next to the entrance door. My previous room was pretty much the same and I always used the second bed as a dumping ground for my own mess, but just for tonight I would leave it to Leila.

"You can stay here tonight, tomorrow I'll speak for you so that they give you a room alone." I blurted out. Leila still kept her head down, hugging her things tightly.

"You don't have to Haymitch, everything is fine" she tried to compose herself, although the tears were there about to leave her eyes. I took her hand and sat her on one of the bunk beds, dragged the chair over and sat across from her looking straight into her eyes.

"Why do you let him treat you like this?"

"I don't know what you mean" she said evasively, lowering her eyes.

"Yes, you know, Leila" I said softly, taking a lock of her hair and putting it behind her ear. She looked at me for a moment with teary eyes.

" he is my family"

"But he doesn't see you as his family. That is not the way a father treats a daughter."

"You don't understand" she said in a whisper.

"no maybe not. I only understand that he was using you as a bargaining chip" Leila shuddered at my words

"He and my brother are all I have left. My dad has always tried to give me everything" Leila defended him in a small voice

" but in exchange for what Leila? I'm sorry if my honesty hurts you but your dad is the worst. I highly doubt that if your mom was here, she would allow you to be treated like this."

"You're wrong, she was worse. She only observed and she did nothing" Leila answered me with contained anger. I leaned back in my chair and we watched each other for a few minutes. There was no point in continuing this conversation, she was only going to defend the indefensible and I didn't have the energy to start a useless discussion with her. I sighed.

"Anyway, my offer is standing, you can stay here tonight until tomorrow they assign you another place. Take it or leave it?"

"I take it" she whispered.

"Well, then make yourself comfortable, I'll come at night."

I got up and left the chair in its place, picked up my package with my things, opened one of the drawers in my closet, threw the package in it and left the room under Leila's watchful eye. I had no specific place to go, I just wanted to distance myself from the girl and think. I felt tense and exasperated, not to mention the anxiety that overwhelmed me about everything I would have to do tomorrow. Peeta. I had to save Peeta. I was racking my brains thinking of the best way to approach Coin and get her to agree to a rescue. I would volunteer without a second thought, but I knew the implications of that. Coin would not be willing to sacrifice so many people to carry out an operation like this. I wandered through the corridors of the district the rest of the day, an hour before the curfew to sleep I decided to go to my room. When I entered I found Leila sitting under the covers of the left bunk looking at me with an innocent air. Suspicious. Nothing seemed out of place though, except the very presence of the girl.

"hey" I greeted her "did you stay here all day?

"No, after organizing my things I went to look for Sae, to see if she needed help today. And you?"

"hovering here and there" I said without importance.

I opened my closet and there I saw it, the crime scene. All my clothes were organized in perfect order and separated by types of clothes. I shot Leila an accusing look but she seemed to find her hands fascinating right now. I sighed irritably, took my pajamas and went to the bathroom to change. Of course when I got to the bathroom all my personal toiletries were also organized in the perfect order according to Leila's criteria. What mania she had with organizing everything. Once showered and much calmer I decided to get out of the bathroom, but an idea came to my head and I smiled to myself. I scooped up my dirty clothes and tossed them carelessly onto the chair by the closet. Leila's exasperated snort gave me the satisfaction I was looking for. After this Leila lay on the bed with her back to me, I knew that she was irritated but she didn't dare to say anything to me. After a couple of hours the girl fell asleep. It was strange to have someone in my room, I hadn't shared a room since I was 16 years old. I shook off that thought, this was not the time to think about my past.

I tried to force myself to sleep a bit, since the bombings I had hardly slept at all and I was exhausted. I started to drift off when I heard the incessant scratching of Leila's hands and her ragged breathing. I sat on the bed and watched her not knowing what to do. Suddenly Leila began to talk in her sleep, or rather to beg. Once she started with the "please, stop, don't touch me and it hurts" I couldn't take it anymore and I got up willing to wake her up, I didn't have to be very smart to know that she was dreaming and I wanted to stop it for her and for me, I didn't want to be witnessing her nightmares, I had already enough with mine's.

"Leila" I said with a low but firm voice while I shook her slightly. I didn't want to scare her, even though I was sure that was inevitable, it must not be nice for her to get up in a room with a man alone. And as expected, Leila woke up totally scared, cornering herself in the upper corner of her bed. "Hey, everything is fine, it's me Haymitch. I'm not going to hurt you " I said her softly trying to calm her down, she looked at me sobbing with her eyes still frantic passing through the room. I moved away from her bed to give her space but she caught my hand

"I'm sorry, don't leave me alone" she begged me and it was like having a deja vu. Something similar she had asked me for 8 years ago and I hadn't been able to do anything for her, at least this time I could try. I sat on the edge of her bed and pulled her into my arms, it was the only way I could comfort her, I wasn't very good with words. After about 30 minutes Leila managed to calm down a bit, I settled in her bed, half laying down but with my legs touching the ground, and I settled her on my chest hoping that she would be able to fall asleep again.

"It's not true, Haymitch" she said in a choked voice.

" What thing, Leila?"

"what my dad said about me and Plutarch" I didn't know what to answer. I thought I knew Leila well enough to know that she would lie to protect her abusive father's back and even, out of fear or something else, cover up for Plutarch. I was sure that it was easier for her to deal with her monsters living in denial, than to accept everything that had been done to her " you believe me, right?" She said raising her head and looking at me with deep despair in her eyes.

"Of course Leila, I believe you" I tried to sound as sincere as possible. She rested her head on my chest again and we stayed silent, a while later I felt Leila's regular breathing, she had finally fallen asleep. I wanted to get up and go back to my bed but she had me imprisoned by my pajama shirt with one of her hands. Then I noticed them and they both had lacerations, I was sure she wouldn't go to the infirmary to treat them, she hated bothering people "unnecessarily", maybe I could ask Prim or her mother for some medical supplies and give it to Leila. I sighed. Here I was again worrying about this girl more than I should when I had more important priorities, the good thing is that tomorrow Leila would leave my room and hopefully stop crossing my path, so I wouldn't have to worry about her.

I hope you enjoyed reading, little by little we are seeing Leila and Haymitch's relationship grow. ;)

What are you thoughts of the story so far? any review is appreciated.