HAYMITCH POV
After that kiss with Leila I spent the rest of the day debating all the possibilities. I had no idea how I was going to handle the situation or even know how to behave with her. I was so cowed by facing her that I decided not to go back to my room until I was sure she was asleep. But as usual, Leila managed to surprise me. As soon as I entered I found her asleep in my bed with one of the books, which I had brought her a few days ago, in her hands. Trying to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn't wake her up, I approached her and gently took the book from her hand and put it on the nightstand. It was strange to see her sleep so peacefully, most nights she tossed and turned restlessly, talked in her sleep or worse, she had horrible nightmares.
I leaned next to her, the dim light from the lamp illuminated her face making her look so ethereal, highlighting every subtle detail that was not visible to the naked eye. Like the path of freckles under her eyes that went from cheek to cheek, or her long eyelashes that hid that pair of green emeralds, then I saw that mole just below her ear, which I had kissed just a few hours ago and had made her shudder. I sighed, shaking those thoughts out of my head, I didn't know what the hell was happening to me, I felt like a horny teenage idiot, and it was wrong. Getting involved with anyone would be a serious mistake that I wasn't willing to make again, I didn't want no one to ever suffer because of me again. Getting involved with Leila would be even worse, she was 15 years younger than me, with a very traumatic past, it would be as if I were taking advantage of her and I didn't want to be part of that, something I was sure was that I hated to see her suffer.
I considered lying on her bed but I didn't like the idea of invading her space like that. I wasn't tired anyway so I could always wander around the library until she got up. With one last breath I got up from her side but before I could move away, Leila woke up and grabbed my hand stopping me.
"I'm sorry, I fell asleep waiting for you" she said still sleepy while she rubbed her eyes to wake up, I chuckled softly at the image.
"Don't worry, keep sleeping" I whispered.
"You don't have to go because of me" she grumbled "I'm going to my bed" with a tired sigh, I did something that I didn't even expect of myself, I took off my shoes and laid next to her on the bed
"fine, you win! I don't care that you're here so don't grumble anymore and go to sleep" I closed my eyes but I felt Leila's gaze on me
"You're not wearing your pajamas" she accused me and I ignored her even with my eyes closed. I was really hoping that she would give up and fall asleep. On one hand I was afraid that she was now awake enough to start an uncomfortable conversation that I was not ready to have and on the other hand, as soon as she fell asleep I would leave the room, my goal was to put distance between us not to sink more my head on whatever this was. A couple of minutes passed and I heard Leila's defeated sigh and I laughed to myself. However, she did not give me a truce, she settled on my chest and stayed silent. My escape plan was ruined. Great!. Trying to put distance between her and me never turns out as expected, on the contrary it seemed that one way or another I was getting closer to her. I kept wondering about what she was thinking, was all of this worrying her? Or did she just do it because she felt some kind of debt to me? That last thought horrified me. I felt tense and I knew that she was too. Why wouldn't she leave if she was uncomfortable, I didn't know how to act and I didn't want to talk. Absently, with my left hand, I began to play with Leila's hair and it was almost instantaneous as Leila's body relaxed, when I brought my hand closer to her neck she unconsciously gave me more access to it, I continued with my caress and she soon fell asleep again. Well, I discovered something new about Leila today.
From that day on, Leila and I did not kiss again, much less talked about what happened. In a tacit agreement between us, we pretended that nothing had happened, however after that night she did not return to her bed, so one way or another she always ended up sleeping with me. Although it wasn't like I slept at night, I barely managed to fall asleep well into the early hours of the morning. I spent my nights reading and playing with Leila's long hair. I couldn't say that this change bothered me but it troubled me and scared me in equal measure. My mind kept reminding me of the fate that my family and girlfriend had, as a consequence of my stupidity and selfishness.
It had been almost two weeks since the rescue took place. Katniss was still in District 2, I used to give her updates on Peeta's status though I was trying to be honest I was also trying to give her hope, I knew how guilty she was feeling about his situation . Before making my regular visit to Peeta, I decided to go and visit Johanna, since she had been rescued I hadn't seen her much. The first days they had her sedated and then with all the Peeta and Leila situation in my head I hadn't had time for anything else. I felt a pang of guilt at this, knowing that she had no one left and the only company for her was Finnick.
When I entered Johanna's room I found her accompanied by Finnick and Annie. The three of them were having a very cheerful conversation, for a moment it was as if the horror of this almost 2 months had never happened, although it was only an illusion, it was enough to see Johanna's still visible wounds. She was in the hospital bed still connected to fluids and medication and the happy couple were squashed on the small sofa next to the bed.
"How are my favorite victors?" I greeted them
"From what I heard, one is insane in a room of this hospital and the other one is in the middle of a battlefield" Johanna replied with her usual sarcasm.
"Johanna, how I've missed your charm" I said, and she gave me a wry smile.
"Excuse me" I heard Leila's shy voice behind me "I brought lunch" I moved to let her pass while she pushed the wheeled cart with trays of food.
"Since when are you the food delivery man?" I asked
"since today I cooked" She said proud of herself.
"oh no, that's all I needed! Since you couldn't poison us in the arena, now are you going to try it here?" Johanna said mockingly. Finnick laughed, Annie gave him a disapproving look, and I stopped myself from laughing, although Leila didn't seem angry at the comment, more amused.
"Sae said that it was not so bad"
"Sae, this old lady, she doesn't know what she's saying" I joined the joke and made fun of her
"Rude, you shouldn't say those things about her" Leila scolded me, even though her good humor was still there. She passed a tray to Johanna and another to Annie. I saw that there were still 2 trays left so I took one of the plates with the cutlery. If the food was bad, I would never stop making fun of Leila, and I needed it, since I couldn't keep accusing her of getting into my bed when I had practically invited her to sleep with me and things between us were getting weirder. Finnick got up to take the other tray but Leila got in the way. "the food is only for the patients, you have to go to dining hall and eat with the rest of the people"
"And why does Haymitch have a tray?" Finnick said accusingly. How old was he?5?
"Nobody likes snitches Odair" I scoffed, he snorted and sat down again next to Annie who shared her food with him.
" So what do you think?" Leila asked excitedly "I've put a secret ingredient in it" she said, letting out a mischievous giggle.
"do not tell me, Love? " said Johanna sardonically.
"No silly spices." Leila said laughing and Finnick, Annie and I burst out laughing.
"And what is the secret in cooking with spices?" asked Johanna, exasperated.
"that I stole them, we are not supposed to use them in excess or what they define as excess, which is actually nothing" Leila explained without a drop of guilt. That was an advance. Maybe she wasn't capable of revealing herself against the Capitol, but at least with the kitchen authorities, yes.
"Well, your stolen spices don't taste so bad" Finnick said with his mouth full. Leila gave him a disapproving look but she let it go thanks to the compliment.
"yeah, it's not so bad" Johanna said reluctantly.
"great! Now I'll go deliver the last tray. I'll see you later" the girl came out almost jumping of joy
"I hope they let her cook more often, this is delicious "Finnick said again, Annie smiled sweetly at him and wiped the corner of his mouth "don't let me finish it" Finnick told her as she handed him the plate, she just chuckled.
"Who knew that the killer brat would be good at cooking" Johanna said as she also devoured her plate. I got curious to try the food, I couldn't believe it was that good.
"Well, I'll just leave you guys, I'll go try this marvel" I said while I held my tray.
On the way to Peeta's room, I ate what was on the tray and the boys were right, the food was delicious, before I even got there I had finished my plate. Maybe old Sae wasn't that old and she knew what she was doing by letting Leila cook. When I entered the observation room that precedes Peeta's room, I found Leila there.
"What you cooked was very good, Leila" I told her behind her, startling her.
"Did you really like it? " she asked me with a smile from ear to ear
"Didn't you try it yourself?"
"Yes, but well I'm not very objective, I only cheered up when Sae gave me her approval".
"Well, the old lady was right".
"Stop calling her that" she scolded me.
"I feel sorry for the patient whose food I stole"
"Don't be sorry, it was for you anyway, I knew you'd be with Peeta" she said blushing. I also felt the heat rise to my cheeks because of Leila's gesture, it was lucky that the room wasn't so bright and that my skin wasn't as white as hers to show my blush.
"And then how did you manage to convince the very strict cooks of 13 to let you cook a special menu for certain patients and my lovely person?" I asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"I had to make a deal"
"What kind of deal?" I asked suspiciously
"Shut up for two whole days" she murmured embarrassed and I burst out laughing.
"Wow, how did it not occur to me before? Everything I've given you and in exchange for nothing" I said still laughing
"Maybe it didn't occur to you, because you're not as smart as you think" she replied, sticking out her tongue at me playfully "and I know that you love it when I talk non-stop"
"Yes, it's true, you're a good sleeping pill" exaggeratedly she put a hand to her heart, "hurt" by my comment
"You are insufferable, Haymitch"
"Tell me something I don't know, darling" I smiled at her and without realizing it our faces were a few centimeters apart.
"You can come in now" interrupted a nurse who was coming out of Peeta's room " don't forget to be careful with the cutlery, they should always be kept away from the patient, otherwise he could use them as a weapon. If you see that the patient begins to get upset, walk away slowly, a team will intervene immediately to immobilize him. Have you understood?
"yep" answered Leila taking the cart
"No no no. You can't go in to see Peeta" I intervened nervously.
"why not? I have his lunch here" said Leila confused
"Because you could alter him, Leila. He's not ready to see anyone related to Katnisse" I explained.
"Is it just that or do you think I'm going to do something against Peeta? " she asked worried
"Leila, please don't make it difficult. I don't think you're going to do anything against Peeta but it's not a good idea, the last time you guys met…"
"I was the enemy. The girl who tried to kill his love" she finished the sentence for me
"Yes, something like that" I tried to downplay it so as not to offend her but it was reality
"I do not see what the problem is. Now he hates Katniss so he won't see me as a threat but as a friend, you'll see" she said optimistically, I just sighed in exasperation.
"If he reacts badly when he sees you, you leave immediately and never go near him again, ok?" I didn't want to be cruel with Leila but this little experiment was getting on my nerves. Although her logic wasn't that crazy, I didn't like watching Peeta lose his mind every time something made him go crazy with rage or fear.
"everything will be fine Haymitch, don't worry, I just want to help" she said putting a hand on my cheek caressing it
"Ahem" the nurse cleared his throat. "Are you going to enter yes or no?" Leila and I startled separating. She took the cart back and with a deep breath walked into Peeta's room. Almost immediately a team of Peeta's guards and nurses entered the room, ready to intervene if necessary.
"Knock knock, can I come in?" I saw surprise and confusion take over Peeta's face. I felt my whole body tense up, I knew this was a bad idea. I felt someone stand next to me. Peeta's psychiatrist.
"Leila right?"
"Yes, that's me". she replied with a smile "I've come to bring your food" Peeta returned the smile with irony and contained anger in his eyes.
"So the Doc got tired of sending Delly over and now he's trying it with you"
"What do you mean Peeta?" she asked in a calm tone.
"You don't have to play stupid Leila. I know that everyone is trying to convince me that Katniss is not my enemy, they are trying to make me talk and manipulate me."
"I'm not going to try to convince you of anything, if I'm honest she's not my favorite person either" but what the hell was she saying? How could she say something like that? Peeta eyed her suspiciously "and on the other hand if you don't want to talk, that's fine, I just came to bring your lunch like I told you. So, can I come closer or do you want me to leave ?" He just nodded and Leila came over with the cart and began putting everything on the table near his bed, while Peeta's watchful gaze was on her. As usual, she organized everything on the tray in the "perfect" order according to her criteria.
"Is she the victor of district 8 or am I wrong?" asked the psychiatrist
"Yes, the same one" answered one of the guards who was in the room.
"Is she the same girl who attacked Plutarch?" he asked uneasily
"Yes, it's her" I replied exasperated.
"How is it possible that she is not one of my patients? And who gave her the permission to go in and see Peeta?" the doc inquired annoyed.
"Plutarch gave the order not to force Miss Brightlock to do anything she didn't want." replied the hateful nurse who gave Leila cold food.
"And what about Mr. Mellark?"
"they sent her from the kitchens with the food and since she offered herself, I didn't see any problem with it " answered the same nurse who let her pass. The doctor shook his head in frustration but said nothing more. We all stayed silent watching the interaction of the two of them.
"Do you want to start with a specific food or all together?"
"What did you say?" he asked, confused.
"You know, it's always better to start with the protein, then the vegetables and lastly the carbohydrates, in case you're still hungry" she answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Peeta stared at her in silence for a few minutes. "Well, I can also mix it all up if you want" she continued with a shrug.
"As you wish, it doesn't matter" Peeta replied exasperated. Without saying anything else Leila began to feed Peeta. I knew how irritating that must be for him "it must be quite annoying for you to have to do this job."
"No" she laughed "this reminds me of my sister".
"Is it a baby?"
"No, she is four years old. But sometimes she used to ask me to feed her. Especially when she was too busy playing and didn't want to waste her precious time doing something as banal as eating herself" she laughed again and Peeta just frowned at her. I felt sorry for Leila, she still talked about her sister in present tense. "Ah! I had forgotten, like I knew that I would come here, I wanted to bring you something special.."
"What thing?" Peeta cut her off suspiciously.
"District 12 bread" Leila giggled "I found a fairly easy recipe and made it before coming here so it should still be warm. I thought it would be nice to eat something that reminds you of your district. So you want it?"
"Do I have another option?" he replied sarcastically.
"Yes, you can say no, I'm not going to force you into anything." Peeta snorted in disbelief.
"Give it to me then" Leila took a smaller plate and lifted the lid to reveal its contents. Whatever was on that plate, and me not being an expert, it didn't look like bread at all.
"Oh no!" she said in a whiny tone "what happened? When I took it out of the oven it looked so good."
"Well, it doesn't look good anymore. Did you let the yeast activate before mixing it with the other ingredients?" And for the first time it was like listening to the old Peeta, there was no hate in his voice.
"activate it? I just mix everything and that's it"
"No, that's not how it works" Peeta said frustrated. "First you have to let it activate for at least 10 minutes in warm water and then follow the other steps. Just as you like to eat in an order, to make bread you also have to follow an order. What you have there is just a condensed mass."
"You're sure? Because the recipe I followed didn't say anything like that. Maybe it just got out of the air a little bit but the taste should be the same"
"So eat it and you'll tell me if I'm right or not"
"It wouldn't make sense if I ate it, I couldn't tell if it tasted like it's supposed to taste or not"
"It should not be very different from any bread from another district"
"I have never tasted bread in all my life" Leila finally answered. Peeta looked at her in surprise and confusion. I felt the same as him. How strange that a person had never tasted bread in his life.
"Well, give me a piece and I'll try it" he relented. Leila gave him a piece of bread and from the look on his face, which Peeta couldn't hide, must have been pretty gross "yuck, it's horrible!"
"Really? I didn't think it would be that bad." Peeta didn't say anything else. Leila returned the plate of "bread" to the cart and resumed feeding Peeta. They stayed a few more minutes in silence.
"I wish you would have do it"
"What thing?"
"Kill Katniss when you had the chance. I shouldn't have stopped you" everyone in the room tensed, but Leila didn't seem upset by that confession.
"I Also considered it at the time. But it doesn't matter anymore" she answered seriously.
"Yes, it matters. She has fooled everyone. But she's actually a mutt. When they least expect it, she's going to kill us all. I wish I could kill her" The hate in Peeta's voice was heartbreaking to hear.
"And then what?"
"What do you mean?"
"After you kill her What is going to happen?"
"She will be dead and she can no longer hurt us"
"So you're going to heal and forget everything? Will the world be a better place? Will you no longer feel threatened? I don't understand your point"
"Do you want to protect her, right?" -he said furiously
"No, I just want to understand why her death is so important."
"Because she's a mutt, she's going to kill us, she's a bloody danger!" he yelled at her
"Do you think we should intervene, doctor?"
"no, not yet. I want to see how far the girl can go"
"And how is that going to help Peeta? The point is not to put him in a state of stress" I intervened exasperated
"I have seen many mutts in my life and none of them looks or behaves like Katniss does" she said in a calm tone.
"Yes, you're here to defend her, you're just like them, you're just here to study me like all those doctors do."
"I'm not trying to defend her or study you Peeta, I already told you I just came to bring you your food and if you want I can go. I just don't get it. Everyone is so obsessed with always killing someone as if that's the answer. It's like in this place, the main objective is Snow and everything revolves around killing him, but who can guarantee that everything will be better afterwards? I really don't think so" Peeta looked at her seriously without answering. Leila's words were loaded with honesty, I knew firsthand that Leila didn't believe in this rebellion, and that was exactly what Peeta was seeing.
"You were on Snow's side, in the games. Are you still?" asked a confused Peeta.
"I was never on his side, Peeta. I just did what I had to do. You're terrified of Katniss,and I'm terrified of Snow, his allies and their scopes" Peeta flinched at her words and a look of fear came over his face. In a very motherly gesture on Leila's part, she reached over and brushed a lock of hair from Peeta's forehead. He was not scared by the contact. "It is very unfair and cruel what they did to you. It's okay to be angry at the world and even feel betrayed by the ones you love but you can't let the Capitol win, Peeta."
"no one can imagine what it was like to be there" he whispered
"I know. I saw it with two other people, the brutality with which they tortured them was horrible" she responded in the same tone of voice. The conversation was taking a turn that no one expected, the psychiatrist along with other doctors did not stop taking notes.
"Why were you there?"
"as punishment. You already know that they like to show their power and what better way to do it while torturing someone and you can't do anything to help them."
"hey tortured Lavinia and then Darius, until they were dead, I wanted to save them. I begged but they didn't listen to me." Tears began to invade Peeta's eyes
"It wasn't your fault, Peeta, and there's nothing you could have done to save them. Their lives didn't matter to Snow, they were just a means to punish you."
Silence invaded both rooms. Peeta was lost in his own thoughts and Leila began to pick up the tray with everything on it. I was very surprised by the way Leila talked to Peeta. On many occasions when I asked her something regarding Snow she would always try to evade the subject or end up crying, with him she kept calm and she was being quite honest. Just when I thought she was going to leave the room, something caught her eye in Peeta and she stopped what she was doing.
"Have you been tied up since you came to District 13?"
"most of the time, yes. Only when I needed to go to the bathroom did they let me out of bed, handcuffed of course." She made a disapproving sound and walked over to one of the medical cabinets in Peeta's room. She began to search for I don't know what and then came back to him.
"I am going to apply this to your wrists, it will help you with the irritation caused by the rubbing of the ropes and handcuffs. Do you agree?" He nodded, frowning. In a move from Leila that no one in the room expected and even surprised Peeta, she released one of his restraints. Again the tension invaded all of us and more than one guard readied their weapon. She applied a salve to his free wrist in a circular motion, massaging the irritated area. Suddenly Peeta caught her arm strongly and Leila's body tensed but nevertheless she remained calm
"Are you scared of me? Do you think I'm going to kill you?" Peeta said disgustedly and with a cruel smile.
"No Peeta, I'm not afraid of you. And to be honest, of the two of us, I'm much better trained at killing than you are. I could knock you out effortlessly. But I don't like being touched, especially if it's a man" she finished saying in a whisper, surprised Peeta released her instantly, closed his eyes and remained completely still. We were surprised by his display of confidence towards her. Leila continued her work and after finishing off one of Peeta's hands, and bandaging it to protect it from further irritation, she went on to do the same with the other hand. This confession didn't surprise me, I had already noticed her discomfort when someone got too close to her and yet she didn't seem scared with me, what's more, she was the one who always wanted to be close to me.
"What happened to those two?" he asked softly. He was referring to the other two people who were "hijacking" that Leila met. She took a long moment to answer.
"One of them did not make it past the first sessions, his body did not resist. In any case, there is no point in talking about it, each person is different. You survived" Leila was being evasive and it was obvious.
"And the second?" he asked suspiciously. I also wanted to know the fate of those people, perhaps it could give us some answers. "It's so bad that you don't want to tell me" she let out a resigned sigh before answering.
"he committed suicide."
"so the options are to die or kill myself" Peeta smiled wryly.
"No, of course not! he was different, he had no family, Snow made sure that he had no one"
"My family is also dead."
"I know Peeta, and I'm sorry, but even if you can't see it, you're not alone. He, well, after he was transformed he did horrible things because of his torture. The trauma he lived with was so much he could never get over it and he had no one. Sometimes the pain is so great that you can't see a way out and he did the only thing he had control over. But that is not going to happen to you, you still have many people who love you and are concerned about you, not to mention all the medical team that is trying to help you."
"rather that they are trying to get information from me about the capitol, it is suffocating" he said tiredly
"Well, lie, tell them what they want to hear, that's what I do when I want them to leave me alone" she laughed nervously. The doctor next to me huffed in disapproval, yes, this last advice had not gone down very well with the public "I guess it's time for me to go, I'm supposed to have even more work in the kitchens" he nodded without saying more. Leila took the cart and started to get out when Peeta's voice stopped her.
"do not forget, at least 10 minutes you have to let the yeast activate. maybe the next time you come I can try a fairly decent bread" she nodded laughing and left the room.
As soon as Leila entered the room, she was scared to death when she saw all the people watching her. I was sure that she had forgotten that we were here and that we could see and hear everything that had happened with Peeta.
"Miss Brightlock, I don't think anyone has introduced us. I'm Dr. Aurelius. if you have some time i would like to talk to you"
"I don't see what I could talk to you about, Doctor" she cut him off abruptly"Excuse me, I have work to do" and with this last thing, Leila quickly left the room.
"No, I don't think it's a very wise decision on Plutarch's part to leave a survivor of the games without medical supervision, especially when she has shown violent behavior".
"She's not a violent person and if she doesn't want to see the shrink it's her decision" I defended her, the doctor looked at me carefully and then turned his back to me to talk to a colleague about his notes on Peeta. Not having anything else to do here, I also left the room and without a fixed direction I decided to go to command.
Nearing the end of the day and after a pep talk with Katniss about Peeta's condition, I headed off to wander the halls of 13. No matter how safe we were, this place seemed horrible to me, it was one big cage. As I wandered near the underground greenhouses, I saw a red head of hair standing out among all these green plants. I approached her trying to be as quiet as possible but without success.
"Are you trying to take me by surprise, Haymitch?" she asked me amused as she placed several bunches of plants next to her.
"No, and you're stealing spices again?" I counterattacked and she laughed.
"no, I come on a request from Sae"
"The old greasy Sae can't take care of her own errands for her?" I mocked.
"Stop calling her like that" she reprimanded me again but still in a good mood "and what are you doing here?"
"going around I don't have much to do right now"
"Maybe I should bring you with me, we do have a lot of work".
"nah. Why impress these people? then they wouldn't let me go".
"You have a rather small ego, Mr. Abernathy "she told me, laughing.
"people don't like me to be honest about my multiple talents"
"And what other multiple talents do you have?" she whispered. I don't know when, but just like in Peeta's room, our faces were inches from each other. My eyes fixed on her lips without being able to take them away, Leila put her hands on my chest and leaned over me, disappearing the distance that separated us. Her sweet lips on mine moved shyly and unlike the first time, I wanted to take my time and savor the moment. I felt her hands slowly climb up my chest until finally getting tangled in my hair and attracting me more to her. I held her by her waist and traced meaningless figures on her back with my hands. I separated slightly from her and with my lips I traced a path of kisses until I reached that sweet place, between her neck and her ear, which I knew would make her shudder.
"Haymitch" she moaned my name softly, and like a teenager it almost made me come. She moved one of her hands to my chest and I felt her start to undo the buttons on my neck, I took hold of her lips again and deepened our kiss.
"ahem" someone cleared her throat. Leila screamed and I jumped away in fright " I doubt very much that you'll find what I sent you to look for in Abernathy's mouth" Greasy Sae was looking at both of us seriously. I felt ashamed as I hadn't felt it for many years and poor Leila was the same, with her face visibly red.
"Here I have everything and I was going to the kitchens" she tried to excuse herself poorly
"Go leave everything in the kitchen, I'll stay with him, I hope he can also be as entertaining with me as with you" Leila looked at me one last time with guilt and amusement and then left without looking back. Sae and I stared at each other for a long moment. I wanted to seem calm, but I couldn't help but feel intimidated inside. I had known this woman since I was a child, she had literally seen me grow up, she had seen the best and worst of me. "You have always been a good boy Haymitch, although luck has never been on your side. She also seems to be a nice girl. Be careful fooling around, you don't know who might be watching" without saying anything else she turned and left.
I was amazed by her words, not because of the warning she was giving me, but because of the good opinion she had of me. I wasn't wrong when I said that old Sae was going senile. With a sigh I left the greenhouse and continued walking aimlessly. Today I was not going to be such a coward and wait for Leila to fall asleep to go to my bedroom, if necessary, we would have an awkward talk.
By the time I entered my room, Leila had already arrived. She was in the shower, so I changed into my pajamas and lay on my bed to wait for her to come out of the bathroom. I felt nervous, I didn't know how to start and if I could I would run out of the room. I was a 40 year old man but I felt like a fucking 15 year old teenager. As soon as Leila left the bathroom I tensed up, she looked at me with those emerald eyes and smiled sweetly at me. Without saying a word she climbed on my bed, she gave me a peck on the cheek and settled on my chest to sleep. I suppose we had returned to our unspoken agreement and I was fine with it.