JOHANNA'S POV

I sighed in frustration for the nineteenth time in less than an hour. When would these annoying nurses leave me alone? Ever since I arrived in this stupid district three days ago they kept coming in and out of my room, touching me and talking to each other as if I wasn't here. If only I had an ax I would take care of them. This thought made me smile. I closed my eyes pretending to sleep while I waited for them to come out. A few minutes passed and the room fell silent, I finally had a moment of peace. When I opened my eyes I met Finnick's aquamarine gaze. We looked at each other for a moment and I ached at the look on his face. I could only see pity.

"Jo" He started to say

"Don't you dare Odair. I don't want to hear it" I said angrily.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. I wanted to come back for you and Peeta but I couldn't..."

"You did what you had to do Finnick, just like I would have done, so no whining. Leave that baby whining for someone else." We held each other's gaze for a few more moments, until he resigned himself to continue in this senseless battle.

"How are you feeling?"

"Just as shitty as I look, Odair".

"You don't look that bad, I could still do it to you" he said playfully.

"In your dreams, you idiot"

"yes in dreams I can be quite creative" he said raising both eyebrows in a "flirtatious" way and for the first time in a long time I laughed and without being able to hold back I felt tears filling my eyes and a sob escaping from my mouth "No, Jo, don't cry, I'm so sorry" Finnick begged me, hugging me. I hated myself for being so weak, I never cried in front of anyone and now it seemed like I had no control over myself.

xxx

"Come on, don't be a coward, no one will notice, what they're going to do to her is worse anyway. Better take advantage now while she still looks hot"

"you're going to get in trouble if they find out. We still don't know what they want to do with them."

" I already told you that at least with me she's going to enjoy herself. If it scares you then watch the door in case someone comes. I'm not going to miss this delicious opportunity. Without an ax, you don't look so scary dear. What are you trying to say honey? I bet you like to be fucked hard. Don't worry, with me you'll scream for more" I tried with all my might to get this pig off me but I couldn't. I saw how his hands started to untie me. I watched as his hands began to unbutton the robe I was wearing. " But look what a nice pair of tits you have! I'm going to have so much fun fucking them" said the fucking pig as he continued to grope me and spread his nasty kisses on my neck and breasts. I tried to scream, scratch him and struggle but it was all in vain, I couldn't move. This bastard from the capitol was going to rape me.

"Stop Loic! Someone is coming!" the other guard shouted under his breath but he didn't stop.

"Stop being such a coward and a liar Ross, no one will come until tomorrow. I'm not going to leave this hottie wanting a good fuck, am I honey?" the bastard asked me with a grin.

" But what the hell is the meaning of this?" another man's voice paralyzed the two guards. A tall man of at least 60 years old and dressed in capitol military garb was standing in the door frame. With a firm step he entered the room accompanied by 3 more men dressed in white coats. The guard named Loic awkwardly got off me, straightening his uniform.

"Commander Heinz is not what you think, this bitch convinced us" the commander's cold gaze fell on me and he smiled, a shiver ran down my back.

"Yes, these rats from the districts only know how to do that. Get out of here you two" he ordered and the two guards obeyed immediately," do you know how to educate an animal Miss Mason" he took my nipple and squeezed it hard, I screamed in pain but the gag I had in my mouth, silenced my screams "very good answer, through pain. So you and your little friends thought you were so smart huh? let's see if you'll still be smarty pants once I take care of you and the other fucking tributes that are still alive. The arena is going to look like child's play to you, Miss Mason. You may proceed with her" he said turning to where the 3 men in robes were standing. They acted immediately, they came over to me and stripped me completely naked. I was moving around on the gurney but it was useless. One of them started to stick some wires on my skin, while the other two worked out of my sight, I could only hear the bustle behind me. A few minutes later I felt a second man spraying ice water all over my body and with a nod to the man behind me, within seconds I felt the first electric shock.

I woke up drenched in sweat with every part of my body aching as if I had just received an electric shock. I was shaking and couldn't contain the tremors in my body and had a desperate need to get the sweat off, I hated that feeling of being wet. No matter how stoned I was, the pain I felt was overwhelming as if I was still being tortured. Again I felt tears flooding my eyes and I fought them back, I wasn't going to cry anymore, I wasn't a wimp.

I tried to get up from the bed but I couldn't, my limbs barely responded to me. I don't know how long I kept trying until finally with shaky steps I reached the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and the reflection staring back at me frightened me, a kind of hairless woman with skin stuck to her bones, sunken eyes and festering wounds staring back at me. This was not me. I never cared much for those superficial things about my appearance but I couldn't help but hate my reflection.

With one more hateful look at the mirror I left to get something to drink, I was approaching the bedside table with the vase of water when my legs failed me and I fell. As I tried to stand up again I felt a pair of bony arms help me stand and walk to my bed.

"Don't move, let me get you the water" I saw her pass by, the Capitol's pet. All beautiful and smiling, as if we were the best of friends.

"I don't need your help, asshole" I answered her angrily. She ignored me and moved the table with the water closer to me, without losing her good mood "Are you retarded, dummy? I told you that I don't want your help"

"And I have decided to ignore you. Do you want a full glass or just a little?" she took the vase and the glass. As soon as I heard the sound of water falling into the glass I couldn't help but shudder. The girl stopped immediately and looked at me with a frown.

"What are you looking at? Pass me the damn glass and get out of my room" she obeyed me immediately and left without saying a word.

With what strength I had left in my body I threw the table, the vase and the glass to the floor. I wasn't weak, I didn't need anyone's help or pity, especially if it came from one of Snow's henchmen.

In the afternoon while I was trying to get some sleep, I felt the presence of someone watching me. As soon as I opened my eyes, my gaze met Leila's. Apparently this simple act was taken as an invitation and she entered my room with a tray of food in her hand. She dragged the little movable table, put everything on it and brought it close to me.

"It's your food and your drink is served here in the glass- she explained the obvious and stood there waiting"

"If you think I'm going to apologize or thank you, you can go back to where you came from" I said.

"I didn't come here for that. I'm just waiting for you to say it."

"What's that?"

" I should be in your place and not here, whole and well" she shrugged.

" well until you finally say something coherent. Who else has come to that brilliant conclusion?"

" it doesn't matter anymore. Just say it, maybe it will make you feel better."

"you're a lucky fucking bitch, the plan was to stick my axe in the middle of your head and like the little vermin you are you escaped and made it out of that arena alive. Tell me, since you've been here haven't you missed licking Snow's ass?" she looked down and half smiled sadly, before looking at me again.

"I'm sorry for what they did to you, Johanna. You didn't deserve anything they did to you" without another word she left my room and I was left with the feeling that she knew exactly how I had been tortured.

hello guys! I know I have abandoned the story for a couple of months but I hope to catch up with the chapters in the next few weeks. For now I just want to tell you to enjoy this little chapter and don't forget to leave your comments, they encourage me to keep writing!