A/N:
Disclaimer: I do not own "Encanto".
Enjoy!
A Hurting Secret
Dolores misses him.
She misses the uncle who would scoop her up and kiss her cheek every time she was upset.
She misses the uncle who always knew what to say to make her feel better, who truly listened to her, who never forgot about her just because she is less than a month younger than Isabela.
She misses Bruno. So, so awfully bad. Even though she can hear him almost non-stop inside Casita's walls, it's not the same as when he was present.
She remembers the day he "left" as if it were yesterday.
He steps out of his ridiculously big room, looking defeated, and Dolores reaches him almost immediately, launching herself into his arms.
"But why, Tío? Why do you have to do this?"
"Shh, sobrina. This is for the best. You have to trust me."
"How can this be for the best?! Everyone will miss you!"
Dolores wipes her nose. She doesn't want to cry. She feels horrible enough when her little prima was rendered giftless; more sadness just wouldn't do to her wounded, worried heart.
"Where will you go? I-I'll tell Abuela where you'll be." She buries her face in his poncho.
"No, mija, don't do that. Just listen to me, please." He clasps her hands. "I'll be around, but things will turn out really badly if you tell anybody where I'll be. ¿Entiendes?"
She nods. After a kiss to her forehead, Bruno makes his departure.
"I love you, querida. And I'll always love this family."
Then, he is gone.
Gone...
Her mind races, and she feels truly scared for the first time in years. Where is he going?
But that fright disappears as she realizes he has wriggled through a hole in Casita's walls, where a painting covers the entry.
Dolores hesitates to go after him, for she doesn't want to give him away. The realization that he must have seen something possibly horrifying in his vision about the magic makes her shiver violently. Is it really so bad that he cannot tell anyone?
Her eyes grow big. Has he seen her youngest cousin be in danger and he refused to worry the familia with his vision?
Dolores suddenly feels light-headed. Whatever her dear tío has witnessed, he must have good reasons for going into hiding.
But for how long will he be "away"? She doesn't want to imagine. But she has noticed how reserved he has become in the last months, so... so...
A tear rolls down her cheek. She can hear Mirabel's cries in her room, and her tía Julieta and tío Agustín's futile attempts to comfort their distressed daughter. She can hear Abuela wondering about where her youngest is. She can hear Isabela and Luisa whisper in concern about the magic. She can hear her mamá rain, her papá reassuring her, Camilo crying too...
This is too much...
For the first time in years, Dolores breaks down. The sounds of her own sniffling and weeping and gasping for air make her poor ears pound. She thinks they are going to bleed soon.
On the ground-floor, two people move. She barely identifies them.
In a few seconds, mamá and papá are cradling her in their arms, Pepa making huge efforts to make her cloud disappear. Dolores doesn't try to hide her tears, as she uses to just so nobody would worry about her.
But this time, she can't hold back the tears...
Pequeña Mirabel is suffering. The entire family feels broken. Tío Bruno feels so unworthy that he left. He left... And she has no idea when he will be back. Or if he ever will be.
What has caused all these things to happen in less than a few hours? What did they do wrong?
Did she do something wrong?
The overwhelming pain in her chest gets so intense it seems that she is going to split in two.
She wants her tío Bruno.
She would give Mirabel her gift if she could.
Later that night, Dolores goes to her prima's room. Or better said, the nursery. The thought that her cousin doesn't have the same privileges as the rest of the family makes her stomach churn.
Mirabel is sound asleep, and Dolores uses this opportunity to run her hand through the little one's black curls.
On the wall, Mirabel has painted her own door. The sight makes Dolores' heart shatter. She can't cry now too. She feels that she's done enough of that already.
The five-year-old girl stirs. "Lola? Is that you?"
Dolores forces a soothing smile, handing Mirabel her glasses. "Sí, prima."
Mirabel's eyes are still red and they already begin to glisten in the moonlight, but she tries her best to remain calm and breathe normally.
"Why are your eyes swollen?"
"Oh, they are? I must be tired then."
Even though she is only five, Mirabel's intelligence cannot be deterred. "Why did you cry, prima? Is it because of me?" Tears start pouring down her face once more.
"No, no, no, Mirabel! Don't ever think that." Dolores embraces her warmly. "Gift or no gift, I will always love you."
"Are you for real?"
"Siempre, cariño."
The first time Dolores goes to visit Bruno is a few days after the failed ceremony.
She easily makes her way through the narrow tunnel until she reaches a wider space, which looks more like a room, where her tío is peering through a tiny crevice in the wooden wall overlooking the dining area.
He jolts in surprise when he notices her.
"Dolores, sobrina, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be here." he says softly and hugs her, affection which she gladly returns.
"I think I'm the one who should say that to you, tío."
He sighs.
"What you've seen in your vision, is it that bad?" Her round, pleading eyes cause Bruno to feel even more remorseful for leaving his familia. He might be protecting his youngest sobrina by making this sacrifice, but he also knows how much he's hurting them.
"Actually, no. I don't want to know." Dolores declares, her eyes becoming watery. Her uncle strokes her hand, looking at her with sorrow. "If this is your decision, then I trust you with it. I trust you know what you're doing, tío."
Dolores becomes busier as the years pass, just like everyone else in her family. Due to this, she has less time than she'd like to spend with her beloved uncle in his hideout.
She feels Bruno's absence strongly. He had a special way of comforting her that no one else has.
And she is not the only one. Camilo and Mirabel ask about him constantly, Isabela and Luisa suggest all kinds of theories as to why and where he's journeyed to, Abuela wipes her eyes when she thinks nobody sees her, Julieta and Pepa are dejected, despite the latter not admitting it, and Félix and Agustín clearly miss their brother-in-law.
One day, when Dolores craves his company terribly, she decides to pay him a visit in the evening, when she is done with her chores.
But just as she slides the painting aside, Pepa abruptly calls her name, which causes Dolores to hit her head on the wall.
"Mija, what are you doing? Why aren't you in bed already?"
"Mamá, I'm sixteen. Bedtime can wait."
Her mother thunders in response, her face turning into a fierce scowl. "You said you couldn't sleep well last night, so you should try to regain a few of those hours tonight."
Her daughter doesn't reply, so she proceeds: "What are you doing here anyway?"
Dolores walks past her in what she hopes is a convincing way to appear nonchalant. "Just patrolling to see if there are any rats around here."
Before Pepa can catch the awful lie, she is already in her room.
Later that night, Dolores sneaks through the walls and finds Bruno awake in his armchair. He looks older than he really is thanks to his purple eyebags, dusty clothes and unkept hair, while his silhouette is vaguely slimmer than she recalls.
It pains Dolores incredibly to see the state he is in.
Bruno almost jumps at the sight of his own niece.
"Dolores, you know you could get in trouble if anyone finds us here." he says as he approaches her.
"If that means getting you out of here, then I'd gladly get caught a hundred times."
Bruno smiles sadly and cups her face in his hands. "Look at you. You're taller than your old tío now, eh?"
The teenager cracks a weak smile. She can't help the wobble of her lips though when he turns.
"Now tell me, do you want some food? I gave most of it to the rats; they are always hungry. But I still have some."
"Tío, I wouldn't eat your food, we have plenty in the kitchen. Here, I brought you some." She hands him a basket with Julieta's food.
Dolores would never tell her uncle, but she sometimes keeps herself at a fair distance from nearly all the cooking on her plate to be able to bring more to him.
As if reading her thoughts, Bruno scrutinizes her closely. "Sobrina, did you eat tonight?"
"Of course, I did. Why are you asking me that?"
He gives her a knowing look and takes her hand. "Dolores, please eat your food, querida. I have just as much as I need, you don't have to worry about me. I don't want you to starve yourself."
Dolores is suddenly overtaken by an uncharacteristic and rare surge of rage. She gets up and starts pacing around to calm down. "This isn't fair, Tío!" she cries out, not caring about her ears.
"I know, mija, but one day, it will be over."
"How are you so sure? It's been five years! Abuela misses you, your sisters miss you, even though Mamí doesn't show it, and everyone else does too."
"Trust me, you all are better off without me."
"That's not true! How can you say that about yourself?" Tears eventually spill on Dolores' face.
Bruno is taken aback by her outburst, knowing she is not the kind of person to wear her heart on her sleeve. "Sobrina..." he tries, his brows curving dismally and getting up to embrace her again. Dolores melts into his hold, letting out the hurt she's been carrying in her secured heart for half a decade.
"I just... I just want you near. Is that wrong?" she whispers.
"No, mijita, it's not. And if there is one thing I can promise you, it's that out family will be together again some day. In a way it hasn't been in nearly fifty years. You have to trust me. You'll see it. And never forget that I'm always with you, even if you can't see me. Please never forget how much I love you."
Dolores sniffles. "I do trust you, Tío. Te quiero mucho también."
Her youngest brother's Gift Ceremony is an event that has every member of the family fuss around much more than usual, but when everything is finally ready and Abuela starts her speech, Dolores can't help but feel her uncle's absence more fiercely than even the day he left.
He should be here to see, she thinks. Antonio hasn't even met him. Her heart aches, but she puts on a smile.
Be strong, Lola! He is still part of the family...
"I won't let you go, Tío." she promises for the millionth time in a long decade. "And when you come back, we will be whole again, no matter how much time that will take."
Somewhere in Casita's walls, Bruno knows it's not going to take long until that will happen.
A/N:
Thanks for reading! Thoughts?