About to set off. See you in a couple of hours Steve texted as he leant against the car. With a final flourish he pressed the send button and with a whoosh, his message dispatched. It was a reply to his mum who had just messaged him asking when she could expect Steve and the rest of the family. It was Steve's father's birthday and they were travelling to South London to join the celebrations.

So far it was just the suitcases in the car and Steve realised he might have been a bit optimistic in the 'about to set off' bit of his message. "You guys coming?" Steve hollered in to the house, hoping it would speed everyone up. He didn't have to wait long before the two youngest members of the household came out.

"Where shall I put this?" Josh asked indicating the present in his hands. Josh and Ivy had got their grandfather a separate present from Steve and Kate.

"In the boot, mate," Steve instructed. Josh did as he was told before going to his seat in the car, behind the driver.

"Ready, Daddy," Ivy informed her father as she followed Josh outside.

"Excellent," Steve said, opening the car door so that Ivy could climb up in to her car seat before Steve made sure she was strapped in safely.

Steve looked at his watch. In the two minutes since he had sent his mother his message, excellent progress had been made. Seventy five percent of the family were now out of the house. That just left his wife.

"You coming, Kate?" Steve asked loudly. He was starting to get impatient.

"Just having one last look to make sure we haven't forgotten anything," Kate yelled back.

"I've already done it," Steve replied as he rolled his eyes at Josh. Kate was always checking up on the two men in the house like they couldn't be trusted to do anything properly. "And made sure the house is all locked up,".

"Well it's good that I checked," Kate said as she appeared outside after putting the burglar alarm on and locking the door. "You forgot your dad's present!" she scolded Steve as she held out the neatly wrapped gift.

Damn it! Thought Steve. Why was his wife always right?. "Oops!" he said as he took the present and put it in the boot next to the kids one before closing the hatch. Thirty seconds later and the car was departing on their journey.

Steve and Kate had done this trip many times with their children and finally they seemed to have worked out what to do to make the journey go as smoothly as possible.
Within a couple of minutes of leaving the driveway Kate had popped a Disney Pixar film into the car DVD player and the kids were watching their entertainment with headphones on so that Kate and Steve could have a pleasant journey. The rear entertainment system had been expensive at the time but had definitely proved to been worth every penny since.

Steve always viewed the trip to his parents in Stages. Stage 1 was getting to the motorway. The second was travelling down the M1. The next stage was the M25 and was often the worst, before the final stage which was getting to his parents house. Stage one passed uneventfully and soon the family were heading south on the motorway at just over the national speed limit.

"You ok?" Kate asked when she saw Steve rubbing his neck after about an hour driving.

"Yeah," Steve replied. "Just tired. Been a busy week,".

"Neck massage?" Kate offered and Steve gratefully accepted. She leant over and started to rub her husband's tired neck muscles as he continued to drive. Steve groaned at her pleasant touch. "Good?".

"Yeah thanks," Steve replied.

"Journey's not going too bad," Kate commented. There hadn't been any traffic jams or roadworks to slow them down. She cast a brief look over her shoulder at the backseat. "Everyone seems happy,".

"Let's hope it continues," Steve said before he yawned.

"If you get too tired I can always take over the driving if you want,". Steve looked at his wife as if she had just said something very stupid. "What?" Kate asked offended.

"I've experienced your driving when we were partners," Steve said. "I don't think we should subject the children to it. They'll get car sick," he teased.

Steve's neck massage ended pretty abruptly after that.

They were just progressing to Stage three when the trouble started. All around them, hazard lights were blinking as cars slowed down coming to an eventual stop. The carriageway looked like a car park.

"Great!" Moaned Steve. This did not look good.

"Are we nearly there yet?" a little voice asked from the back. Steve and Kate looked at each other. The question that filled them with dread on a road trip.

"Has the film finished?" Kate asked as she turned to look at her daughter who was sat behind her.

"Uh huh," Ivy said as she and Josh removed their headphones.

"Why've we stopped?" Josh asked as he peered round Steve's seat to see all the cars stopped ahead of them.

"I don't know Josh," Kate replied.

"How long are we going to be here?" Ivy asked.

"I don't know," repeated Kate. "Hopefully we'll be on our way again soon," she said encouragingly.

"Why don't you and Daddy go and sort it out?" Ivy asked. Police officers were very important people who could do anything in her view of the world.

"We should let the traffic police do that," Steve replied as he saw a police car swiftly followed by an ambulance and a fire engine speed by on the hard shoulder.

"Where are they going?" Ivy asked. Her parents knew everything.

"It looks like there's been an accident up ahead," Kate said before she heard a big sigh emanate from her daughter. The first sign of restlessness.

Luckily Kate had come prepared. Reaching for the travel bag that was at her feet, Kate put it on her lap and opened the zip. She had packed it with essentials for the trip. "Who wants a snack?" she asked as she rummaged through the contents.

"Me," said Josh.

"Me," agreed Ivy.

"Me, what?" Kate asked.

"Me please," Josh and Ivy clarified in unison.

On the addition of the magic word, Kate pulled out two small bags of chopped fruit she had prepared the night before and handed one each to the kids. Healthy snacks before leaving the sweets as a last resort.

"Thanks mum,". "Thank you Mummy," was heard from the backseat before the sound of rustling bags and chomping of fruit was soon heard. Kate was pleased that peace had returned to the car. Unfortunately, it didn't last as long as she hoped.

"Mummy?".

"Yes," said Kate.

"I need a wee," Ivy informed her mother.

Kate sighed. Many other families with young children were negotiating a similar problem. Kate had seen several trips to the hard shoulder being undertaken by a harassed, parent holding their offspring. She was going to have to join them.

"Right," said Kate as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door. Opening the back door she then got her daughter out of her car seat and helped her to the verge way. Choosing a spot that was hidden from other drivers, Kate helped Ivy do her business before leading her back to the car and in to her seat. Reaching for her travel bag, she pulled out some wipes and cleaned her daughters hands and her own.

"Ok?" She checked.

"Yes Mummy," Ivy said.

"Excellent," replied Kate before taking her seat again.

The traffic jam was still stationary with no sign of movement.

"I'm bored," Ivy announced.

"Why don't we play a game of Eye Spy?" Steve suggested.

"What's that Daddy?" Ivy asked.

"Well I say 'Eye Spy with my little eye, something beginning with' and then I choose an object I can see and tell you what it starts with and you have to guess what it is," Steve explained.

"I'm not sure, Steve," Kate replied. "It might be a bit hard for Ivy,". She was only in her first year at school and whilst she was doing well she was still learning to read and write.

"It'll be fine," Steve argued. "We'll do the phonetic pronouncement of the letter so it'll be educational as well," he informed his wife. It was how Ivy was being taught the alphabet.

"I do know all the letters, Mummy," Ivy confidently informed her mother.

"Ok," Kate said resignedly.

"You playing Josh?" Steve asked his son as he looked at him in the rear view mirror.

"S'pose," Josh replied. There was nothing else to do.

"Ok," said Steve excitedly. "I'll go first. Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with S," Steve said pronouncing the S like a hiss.

"Snake," piped up Ivy immediately.

"Where's the snake Ivy?" Josh said a bit irritated.

"In a field," his sister replied.

"Duh!" Said Josh. "You've got to be able to see it!" he informed his sister like she was stupid.

"Never mind Ivy. It was a good guess," Steve said trying to keep the peace. Ivy grinned, pleased at her Daddy's praise before sticking her tongue out at Josh.

"Seatbelt?" Josh guessed, ignoring his little sister.

"No," said Steve.

"Steering wheel," guessed Kate.

"Yes," said Steve. "Your turn.

"Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with...w," Kate finally chose, choosing something easy enough that Ivy had half a chance of getting right.

"Window," Josh guessed quickly before Ivy could get a word in.

"Yes," Said Kate before Josh took his turn at choosing an object.

The game went on for quite a while with Steve, Kate and Josh choosing something for everyone to guess whilst Ivy provided a few rather off piste guesses. At some point the traffic jam dispersed and the family were soon resuming their journey.

"Can I choose something now?" Ivy asked just as they were about done with the game and people were loosing interest.

"Ok," said Kate. It was only fair that Ivy got a chance to choose something.

"How does it go Daddy?".

"Eye spy," Steve said slowly and Ivy repeated. "With my little eye, something beginning with,".

The car drove a mile in silence as Ivy looked around deciding what to choose.

"Hurry up Ivy!" Josh instructed.

"A," she finally decided.

"Apple," Josh said pointing to a piece of said fruit that Ivy still had in her plastic bag.

"No,".

"Ambulance," Kate guessed as they passed the scene of the accident.

"No,".

"Air," suggested Josh thinking Ivy might have chosen something like the snake.

"You can't see air, Josh," Ivy haughtily informed her brother like he didn't understand the rules.

"I know!" Josh retorted. "I was just making sure you hadn't chosen it,".

"You're close though," she said excitedly.

"Aeroplane," Kate guessed.

"No,".

"Air freshener?" Josh chose pointing at the object hanging from the rear view mirror.

"No,".

"Air conditioning?" Steve guessed.

"No," replied Ivy. "Why are you all choosing things with air?".

"Because you said air was close," Kate said to her daughter.

"I meant close to Daddy," Ivy informed the car.

Josh rolled his eyes whilst Kate took a deep breath as Steve realised Kate might have been right about Ivy being too young for the game.

Josh and Kate studied Steve and his surroundings whilst Steve looked around.

"Accelerator," Steve guessed, wishing he could put his foot further to the floor and end this journey faster.

"No," Ivy said.

"I don't think Ivy knows what the accelerator is," Kate snapped at Steve's suggestion. She too was reaching her limits with this game. "Anti-bacterial wipes?" she tried seeing the packet of wipes on the console between her and Steve.

"No," retorted Ivy gleefully. "I've chosen something good haven't I? Do you give up?".

"No," answered Steve. He never gave up on anything. Ever. He was trying to instill in his children a sense of perseverance as well.

Kate and Josh gave up guessing soon afterwards leaving Steve the only one still playing. There were periods of silence dotted with guesses whilst he went through everything he could see beginning with the letter A, even repeating some.

"Aviator shades!" he finally declared, after a particularly long period of quiet, describing the style of sunglasses he was wearing.

"She's asleep," Josh informed Steve when no answer from Ivy was immediately forthcoming.

Steve checked his rear view mirror. His daughter was indeed dead to the world.

"Great!" Steve muttered. He would never know if his answer was right or not.

"I'm not sure Ivy is terribly well up on styles of sunglasses," Kate said, letting Steve know about her thoughts on his guess.

"What the hell did she choose?" Steve asked annoyed he'd been outfoxed by a five year old.

"You'll just have to ask her when she wakes up," Kate said. "And hope she remembers what it was as well,".

Ivy awoke towards the end of stage four of the journey.

"Are we nearly there yet?" She asked as she stretched, unaware of the havoc she had created.

"Two minutes," Kate said very relieved as they pulled in to the street where her in-laws lived.

"We're here," Steve announced gratefully as he pulled the car up on the driveway and killed the engine.

"Finally," said Josh as he got out the car and greeted Steve's parents who had come out to welcome them.

Steve got out the car, glad to stretch his legs and opened Ivy's door before unbuckling her belt. "Hey Ivy, what was the thing with A you had chosen?" He asked as he lifted his daughter out of her car seat and set her on the ground. He had to know.

"Alligator," Ivy said, pointing to the motif on Steve's top before running off to greet her grandma who was waiting for her with a hug.

"But that's a crocodile," Steve said to Kate. "It starts with a C," he continued as he realised he'd wasted an hour of his life on the stupid game.

Kate realised her husband was fairly exasperated and gave him a comforting hug. "Maybe we leave it a few years before we play that game again?" she suggested.

Steve wholeheartedly agreed, not caring that his wife had been right yet again, as he took Kate's hand and led her in to his parents house.