Thank you all so much. There seems to be a little progress, let's see what happens.

00

Beth's face is buried in his chest, but he doesn't need to see her face to know she's crying. Her slim shoulders are trembling and his heart feels the same deep pain as hers, because he knows this is all his fault. He cups the back of her head in his hand, bends down and kisses her hair when he whispers, "Sorry, Baby. Shit, I'm so sorry." It feels like "sorry" is all he ever says anymore. His arms circle her and he holds her closer while fighting back his own tears.

All he wants is to do is make this woman happy and instead he's causing her nothing but pain. It just can't be helped; he can't risk losing her.

Neither of them moves, they simply stand with their bodies pressed together as they let the water wash over them, holding onto each other so tight it's like their holding on for dear life. Eventually the water turns tepid and Daryl reaches over, turns the knob and says, "C'mon, yer gonna catch a cold." He grabs the towel that's hanging from a hook by the shower door and begins to rub it along Beth's arms and back, down along her bottom and over her legs, and she whispers, "I can do that."

He tries smiling, "I know ya can, but I'd rather do it for ya."

Both of them would do anything to be back in that warm comfortable place they were before this afternoon happened, but they see no way to get there. The obstacle is too big, this isn't a difference of opinion about what to have for dinner, or whether to buy a new car, or what to spend their savings on. This decision is the only one they'll ever make that's bigger than the decision they made to marry. Here they are in this small room together and there's nothing between them but silence. Beth gets her nightie off the hook on the back of the bathroom door, and while Daryl uses the same towel that he used for her, to dry himself. They brush their teeth and he waits, watching her as Beth applies cream to her face, and then they walk silently to their bedroom.

She slips between the sheets with her back to him and he follows, wrapping his arm around her tummy while he nuzzles his nose and lips into her damp hair, and makes his promise, "I love ya Beth, ya know I love ya an I wanna make ya happy. I wanna give ya everythin' ya ever wanted, and more than that. There's gotta be an answer. There's just gotta be."

He wants to make love to her, he needs her now more than ever, but he's sure she'll reject him so he settles for holding her close, grateful she hasn't pushed him away. Soon they both drift off, drained by the emotion of the day.

They're up early and he gets the coffee going while Beth gets out her ingredients and the loaf pans for quick breads. As he sips his coffee and she begins to mix the dry ingredients, something comes over her. It's just silliness, maybe it's a tension reliever when she giggles and says, "As soon as I get these in the oven, I think I'd better take a real shower before church. All I did last night was get soaking wet."

He smiles, "Yeah, I suppose I need one too, I didn't exactly wash an I probably stink like a fisherman." He takes his chance then, "Ya s'pose we could do that together?"

They'd both do just about anything to be as close as they were at this time yesterday. She smiles back, "Maybe if you promise to behave."

"Maybe, but ya always look so pretty."

The playful banter continues, and although it makes them both feel better, it also adds to their sadness. Neither one knows if they'll ever be truly happy again. Even after the closeness of their morning shower, and crawling back into bed together, they just can't seem to get back to where they were. They hold each other, they kiss deeply and the touching is intimate, but they just can't. It just feels awkward.

He stops to pick up Dale and Erma for church, and no one would suspect there's a thing wrong as they make the short drive there. It's like any other Sunday when Daryl pulls the sedan up to the curb and helps everyone out of the vehicle. Even though it's chilly out, Daryl and Beth and Dale and Erma greet the other folks congregated out in front of the small church. Everyone talks about the chill in the air and winter coming, and all Daryl can think about is the coldness he feels between him and Beth. Soon it's time to go inside for services and it's then, as they all slide into the pew, that Erma takes a long look at Beth. Things have seemed off this morning and Erma has sensed the younger woman is hurt, and now with this closer look she sees it in Beth's eyes. A deep sadness.

When they arrive back at the Horvath's the women go to the kitchen to start getting the meal on the table, and Erma takes Beth's hand, "What's wrong Honey, you don't seem like yourself today." Those words of concern cause Beth to lose the little bit of control she had and the tears begin to fall. Now Erma's even more concerned. She wraps her arms around the young woman and asks again, "Beth, sweetheart, what is it?" And as Erma holds Beth in her arms the younger woman tells her what's happened between herself and Daryl.

"Oh my. My. I know he's not trying to be mean to you, or refuse you something he knows you want. Beth, you have to know, that man loves you more than anything, but fear is a powerful thing. I certainly understand why Daryl is afraid, what Janie went through was a terrible thing. Maybe Dale and I can have a little talk with him."

Beth would be thrilled if someone could get through to Daryl, but she's also a little nervous, "I don't want him to think I've been talking behind his back, like some kind of tattletale or something."

Erma assures her, "Now don't you worry about anything like that, we're family dear. Maybe Dale and I can help the two of you come to an agreement." It sounds lovely to Beth and it would be wonderful, but Daryl's dug in and Beth doesn't see a way that will change.

She uses her handkerchief to dry her eyes and blow her nose, washes her hands and the two women do what they originally came to the kitchen to do, they start carrying the meal to the dining room. As Erma pushes the door open with her hip she smiles Beth's way, and whispers, "being busy always helps, doesn't it?"

"It does."

When they're all seated at the table Dale says the blessing, but Daryl's not really paying attention like he knows he should. All he can focus on is his wife, and his eyes never leave Beth. Dammit, he can see she's been crying again and once more he feels his own heart breaking, and just like Erma, he senses the sadness that seems to be radiating from his wife. At least she's eating a little something, he's relieved to see that. She didn't eat worth a shit last night or this morning.

The dinner conversation is all small talk and Erma comments, "My goodness Beth, your date nut bread is just delicious. You'll have to share your recipe with me."

There's talk of Teddy's fishing adventure and smiles and laughter about how proud he was. There's some discussion about this week's sermon, and Daryl questions, "I wonder what Merle n Amy are doin' in Atlanta. It ain't like him ta not tell me where he's gonna be."

Dale is apparently oblivious to the prevailing mood at the table when he shrugs and responds, "It seemed like a sudden decision. Maybe they just wanted to get away together," and he chuckles, "You now what it's like to be young and in love Daryl.

Like they do every time they share a meal at the Horvath's, after dinner Daryl and Beth help Erma clear the table and scrape the dishes. Neither Daryl nor Beth let on that Erma has caught them by surprise when she says, "Beth, Honey, thank you so much for offering to do the dishes all by yourself today so Dale and I can visit with Daryl."

Beth doesn't mind at all, there's not even that many dishes to be done, but she and Erma never discussed this so what's the woman up to? "Oh, um, yes. It's the least I can do, my goodness, you feed our family all the time."

Daryl quickly offers, "Wait, I can help Beth."

Erma has other plans, "No son, she'll be just fine, you come with me."

It's not like Erma Horvath to be so pushy, or to boss people around in this way. Especially not people she happens to love very much and who have come to her home to share a meal. That's just it though, she loves Daryl and Beth and she wants happiness for them. If being a little bossy and sticking her nose in their business might help these two, then she's going to stick her nose in and be a little bossy.

Dale's already dozing in his chair when Erma and Daryl walk in the living room and Erma rousts her husband from his nap. Uh oh, Daryl's concerned now. This really must be something big, Erma never wakes Dale from a nap. She always just looks her husband's way, smiles and says, "It's best to let sleeping dogs lie."

Shit, what's going on.

With her hand on Dale's shoulder, Erma leans in and says, "Come husband, you and Daryl and I need to go to the den for a little talk." Dale looks up and his eyes are wide, but Erma smiles and assures him, "No, you're not in trouble. No one's in trouble."

Those words have Daryl feeling almost as relieved as Dale does, and yet he's nervous. It could be worse than trouble. He's known Erma for years now and the woman has a way of picking up on other people's feelings. She has to suspect Beth is sad, and that's got Daryl feeling pretty sure this "little talk" has something to do with him and Beth and their current disagreement.

The three of them walk in the den, Erma shuts the door behind them and says, "Gentlemen, have a seat," then she takes a seat herself. A seat where she can look from man to man as she speaks. She's not going to pussyfoot around, she jumps right in, "Daryl, I heard Beth wants to have a baby but that you have said absolutely not, and not just for right now, but no children ever. Is it because of what happened with our poor Janie?"

Daryl's uncomfortable discussing his business with anyone. Shit, it was hard enough to talk about this stuff with Beth, but he has a lot of respect and gratitude for the Horvaths and he will not be rude to Miss Erma. He answers, "Yeah, I told ya the whole gruesome story, I told it ta Beth too. Everythin' Janie went through? I ain't havin' that happen ta Beth. I can't lose her. I won't."

Erma's demeanor remains calm, "I understand that Daryl, well I understand it as much as I can. I've never been through what you and Janie went through, but I know it was tragic. I know pregnancy and childbirth happen that way from time to time, but it's not the usual way things go."

Daryl's not swayed, "It don't matter if it ain't that normal, it can happen, it's possible and I ain't havin' it happen ta Beth. There's a one hundred percent chance it won't happen if she don't get pregnant."

Dale is now aware of why his wife decided on this "talk," and he speaks, "You know Daryl, it's a natural thing for a woman to want to have children. When Erma and I got married we had plans to have several children, we wanted a big family. We bought his house with that in mind. Do you realize there are four bedrooms upstairs? We were ready to fill those bedrooms up with children. Every month we were so sure it would be the start of that family, but every month we were disappointed. After three years of disappointments, we finally decided we'd better get to a doctor and see if there was something wrong. There was something wrong and we were told there were never going to be any children for us."

Erma takes in a breath and looks right in Daryl's eyes, and he can see the pain that's still there when she says, "My experience was far different than Janie's, but it was tragic for me, and I know that Dale suffered as much as I did."

Dale stands and walks to his wife, his arm draping across her shoulder when he speaks, "Would I have risked everything for Erma to have her dream of a child come true? You bet I would have Daryl. We would have both risked everything. The business, the house, the car all that stuff, in the grand scheme of things they mean nothing, I'm talking about real risk. I know I speak for my wife when I tell you, we would both have risked our lives if there was a chance we could have a child. We wouldn't have given it a second thought."

Erma pats Dale's hand and says, "That's right, just like Janie. She could have told her doctor that if it came down to making a choice of who to save, to save her and not the baby. She didn't do that. She made the choice she did based on what meant the most to her, when it came down to her life or Teddy's life, she choose her child."

Daryl disagrees, "Nah, they couldn't save her."

Erma's quiet as she thinks of the words she wants to say, "Maybe you're right, maybe they couldn't have saved her, but the point is they would have tried to. They would have focused on her. Janie knew she was in bad trouble all during her pregnancy, and she'd already told her doctor that if it ever got to the point where a choice had to made, he should choose the baby. That's why she was so careful to write everything down for you. She'd already guessed she wouldn't be here."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"I spoke to her doctor. Right after you telephoned Dale and I that first time. We got in the automobile and drove down to Atlanta and went to his office. We practically forced our way in to see him. We told him Janie was our only relative and we had a right to know everything that had happened. He agreed, Janie was gone and he said he felt sure she wouldn't mind. He told us all of it, everything she went through and what she asked of him, that he do whatever he had to do to save her baby. He also mentioned you Daryl, and what a good man you were to her, and how you did everything you could to take care of her."

Daryl's head is in his hands and he's never chewed his lip any harder than he is right now, "I did, and don't that prove my point?"

Dale answers, "Not really son. Beth isn't Janie. She's strong and healthy. There's no reason to believe she wouldn't have a completely normal pregnancy and childbirth."

Erma speaks up again, "We're not trying to change your mind here Daryl or tell you what to do. We're not taking up sides, Beth over you, we just want you to think things through. Try looking at it through someone's eyes besides your own. It's not fair to just stomp your big foot and say 'no' without at least discussing this with Beth."

It's just the smallest bit of concession, but at least it's a concession when he agrees, "Yeah, all right. Me n her will talk about it."

The words are no sooner out of his mouth than there's a soft knock on the door. Beth's been feeling so anxious, what in the world is going on and why is she being excluded from a family conversation. She's family too, isn't she?

Dale opens the door and Daryl's on his feet, walking toward her and slipping his strong arm around her slim waist, "I ain't sayin' I changed my mind Beth, or that I ever will change my mind, but I'm willin' ta sit n talk it over with ya."

This is a very different Sunday afternoon than the Sundays they typically share, especially Erma's behavior. She prides herself on being the ultimate hostess and would never even insinuate a guest has overstayed their welcome. But today is a very different day, "I think it's an excellent idea for me to get some leftovers packed up and for you two to get home and start all this talking you plan to do."

Daryl loves the woman like the mother he never had, and although he doesn't really believe all this talking will help, he appreciates that she's trying. He hugs her and says, "I know it ain't easy ta talk about this stuff. Thanks for trustin' me with your story."

What she tells him next causes a mix of happy and sad emotions, "God never blessed Dale and I with a child, not until you and Teddy came knocking and we became a real family, then later, you brought us Beth. I guess you could say we've been triple blessed. You three are our family and we're always here for you."

Dale says, "Everything my wife just said is everything I feel."

Daryl has no words that feel right, he settles for simply kissing her cheek and saying, "Thank ya Ma'am, yer a blessin' ta us too."

He shakes Dale's hand and says, "Thanks for everythin'."

Erma slips her arm through Beth's and says, "Come, help me pack up the leftovers." Beth just follows along. Something happened here in this room and she just hopes it was something good.

Once the women are alone in the kitchen Beth timidly asks, "So, it seems like you talked to Daryl about what I told you earlier."

Erma pats her hand, "Yes we did, we're not taking up sides, we only told him about our own experiences. At least he's agreed to talk to you about this, and not to simply say 'no'." Erma looks in the younger woman's eyes and adds, "I'll be praying for you every day and every night."

Beth smiles while holding back her tears, "I can't ask for more than that."

Back in their own little kitchen they're both on pins and needles. Who will be the first to bring it up? What will they say? And God please, don't make it a fight. They've both grown weary of the tension between them. Once the leftovers are put away it's Daryl who suggests, "Let's go for a walk. Get outside, get some fresh air, work off some a that meal n I think we'll feel better."

"A walk sounds wonderful, let me get my coat."

As soon as their feet hit the sidewalk Daryl reaches over and takes her hand, happy when she smiles up at him as her hand grasps his. It feels like they have an unspoken agreement, the walk is simply that, a nice stroll the two of them are taking together. There's no big discussion of the difficulty between them, that's for private and will be discussed in their home. For now they enjoy the crisp fall air, the changing leaves and the feel of each other's hand. They're out and about for an hour or so, and when they return home and hang their coats Beth offers, "I think I'll have a cup of tea, what can I get for you Daryl?"

He'd like a beer but thinks it's probably not a good idea. They have too much to talk about and tomorrow is a workday, "Do we got any a them root beers left? I'll get one a them."

They're just settling in on the couch when there's a loud bang on the front door and it opens to the bluster that is Merle Dixon, "Well there ya are, I was hopin' ta catch the two of ya at home. Me n Amy come ta talk to ya."

Beth is very happy to see them, but she's disappointed that the time she and Daryl were finally going to talk has been interrupted. Daryl is feeling relieved. He'd like to put off hurting Beth again for as long as possible.

Like her Mama and Erma, Beth is a hostess herself and asks, "Are you hungry? We've got a refrigerator and pantry full of food."

Merle smiles, "I's hopin' you'd ask, cuz yeah, I could eat. I'm pretty sure my sweet Amy here is as hungry as me. Probably hungrier, ain't that right sweetie?"

Beth's not sure why Amy suddenly turns pink with embarrassment, surely she's use to Merle's teasing by now, but Amy admonishes him with one word and one tone, "Merle." Then she turns to her hosts and smiles, "Yes, I could definitely eat, let me help you Beth."

It's family, it's impromptu and it's casual. The kitchen table is loaded with a variety of foods, everyone has their plate, their utensils, and their napkin, and they're all adding to their plates when Merle says, "So we weren't exactly in the neighborhood, we just rolled in from Atlanta. I had me a pretty good plan, and then I realized I better change the plan n get my ass over here or little brother might kill me. Maybe even Beth might."

Both Daryl and Beth have stopped moving, their eyes fixed on Merle as Daryl gruffly asks, "What? Whaddya talkin' about Merle?"

"Well sir, I'll tell ya. Friday night Amy n me headed down ta Atlanta with this plan I told ya I had. We was gonna hit the jewelry store on Saturday n get us some rings, then get Amy a new dress, she didn't want one but I wanted her ta have one anyway." The whole time he's talking Amy is looking down at her plate, like she's deliberately avoiding eye contact and Beth can't understand why, because for her part, Beth can't stop smiling, she's pretty sure she knows what's coming. Merle continues, "We was gonna just slip down ta the courthouse there on Monday mornin', then head on home here, then we thought better of it. We knew we'd disappoint Amy's Mama, maybe even her crazy sister and the two a you. So shit, we decided ta come on back here an go ta the courthouse tomorrow. We want ya both there, and whoever else might wanna show up, then this comin' Saturday we'll do a little party at my...I mean at our house."

Beth squeals as she reaches across the table and takes Amy's hand in hers, "Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! What can I do to help?"

Amy's honest, "I don't know. I'm so flustered I can't think. Merle's the one with all the big plans because I...honestly Beth? I don't feel like I deserve a wedding. I thought Merle and I should just do something on our own. Quietly, then we could tell everyone afterward."

It dawns on Beth then, but still she asks, "Why Amy? Why in the world would you think you don't deserve to have a nice wedding?"

"Oh Beth, I'm already in the family way."

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Oh my goodness. How will Daryl and Beth take this news. Please comment. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. I'll be back next week with a new chapter of Love at the Solo Café. Until then remember, I love ya large, xo gneebee