/!\I warned you a little earlier, but I'm going to take a month off, maybe a little more, and then spread out the release of my chapters. To give you the reasons why: I only have 2-3 chapters in advance, and my IRL vacation is over, so I'll have less time to write ^^'./!\
Hush! Don't wake the crocus
"Everything is fine on my end. I'll let you wait in the hall while I call your trainer," Joy said.
Ash politely refused, as he could still find his room on his own. Besides, he didn't want to bother Serena too much, considering how tense she had been since the confrontation with the other girl.
"I'll leave you to it then. But I'm counting on you not to pull the same stunt as your other pokemons friends."
Ash didn't need to see the broken tables piled up in the corner to know what she was talking about.
"Rizard," he reassured her.
"And remind your trainer that she needs to help me put everything back in place tomorrow. I'm expecting her at 7:30, so don't party too hard tonight," she finished with a wink.
He didn't think his friend would have the energy for that. On the other hand, there was nothing stopping him from bringing her a little something. He'd seen a patisserie not far away and... It's true, I don't have my pokedex with me, he sighed. His disappointment quickly turned to surprise. Him? Ready to go shopping for a cake he wasn't even going to eat (though if Serena offered him a slice, he wouldn't say no, and he knew he wasn't making a very risky bet). Don't get him wrong, he was a sharing kind of guy, but... Serena and Bonnie had once waited in line for hours for a tiny slice of cake - yes, yes, one slice for four people, and he'd pounced on it as if they'd gone to all that trouble just to satisfy his stomach. Which Serena quickly corrected with a slap on the hand. Sorry, Ash couldn't help but think at the memory.
"Serena?"
The room was deserted, though he could smell his trainer. His heart skipped a few beats before he noticed that the door to the terrace was open. Intrigued, he walked around the pile of cushions next to the bed and poked his head out. Leaning against the railing, she watched the city lights color the early night, lost in her thoughts enough not to notice the approaching flame.
"I didn't make it," she murmured, clutching the red ribbon in her hand.
"Char?"
The girl gasped, not expecting to see him again so soon.
"Has Joy finished yet?"
He nodded, his eyes asking if he could join her. Serena hesitated for a few seconds; after all, she still hadn't digested everything that had happened with Amelia, including the part about her dragon. However, she had no desire to reject him. She pushed herself up, but the railing wasn't that long when it was a charizard, so there was only a small gap between them. The fake pokemon tried to curl up to give her more space, but to no avail.
"Char," he despaired.
He'd gotten so upset over so little? She didn't want to scoff, but it was hard to hold back a smile.
"You always go out of your way to help me."
"Chari," the fake pokemon denied.
The way he rubbed the tip of his snout. Was it embarrassment? Joy? She'd never understood it in Ash, and now that Charizard was imitating him... She shook her head; there was such a thing as an evil twin, so why not a pokemon with some similarities? No wonder.
"Is this what you were doing when you disappeared for days in Lavaridge? Your attacks, your movements, in truth, you always wanted to participate with me." The girl's hands clenched. If only she had understood him sooner, if only she hadn't started to believe that accepting injury to protect him was proof that he could trust her... "I wish I'd been there. I so wish I'd been there," she admitted. "But I was so sure you wouldn't want me as your trainer if I'd come to you instead of being so stubborn..."
"I wouldn't have put up with it."
The tattered words had come out all by themselves, beyond his control. And when he realized it, when he felt the surprised look on the girl's face, all his scales bristled.
"It doesn't mean I hate you or don't want you anymore! It's just..."
He bit his lips, trying to calm the vibrations of his scales. He'd forgotten that just because he spoke out loud didn't necessarily mean she understood. Except that from the way he'd reacted, Serena had to at least suspect that he wasn't just asking what they were going to eat tomorrow. Come on! He shouldn't lose his composure, he could still pretend it wasn't important and quickly return to a happier tone... His wings sagged.
"I didn't know what to do," he admitted in a dead voice. "Up until now, all I had to do was forgive or suggest a pokemon battle and everything would go back to normal. But... with you, it was different. It was, I don't know exactly what it was, but it certainly wasn't a fight. I was so angry and afraid that you would do it again that I couldn't do... what I usually did."
He paused for a long moment, his hands clenched on the railing, trying to calm the rising magma.
"I was nice, the nice Ash who believed in his friends, it was convenient to avoid them resenting me, hating me. In fact, I'm really... Can you believe it? I've always fought, but I've never really faced anyone." His claws dug into the steel, twisting the bars heated by his palms. "I couldn't hide behind my pokemons anymore, because I was the pokemon, I was the one who had to face you directly and... You refused to listen, time only weakened you, and there was this thing inside me that threatened to explode. I had no solution, no idea what to do or say, and finally I wanted to go back to what I was used to, what I was best at: smiling at you, telling you that it didn't matter and that the best thing was to move on. I might as well throw you into Sharpedo's mouth myself!"
The shapeshifter had thrown his head back without managing to see the sky, a twisted smile wounding his face. Ash had never lied? It was just that he didn't care if his words were false or true, because things always worked out in the end, because they were always just simple stories about battles, training, contests, showcases... Stories involving pokemons that would be resolved by pokemons themselves, without any need for his intervention.
"Only this time, it was you and only you. So I started avoiding you, trying to make up for what I couldn't solve by training, even though I knew it hurt you... It's so lame, but it was the best I could do."
He paused, suddenly realizing that he'd forgotten to mime everything he'd just said. And Serena looked at him with wide eyes, pained that she'd touched on the importance of what he'd just confided in her without fully grasping it.
"You're not going to repeat it?"
Ash's heart clenched; if he had opened up so freely, it was because he knew his words would remain inaccessible. But ask him to really talk to her, and he'd deflate as fast as Team Rocket's balloon. Why was it so complicated? Why was everything always so complicated when it came to Serena?
"Um... Charizard?"
The railing! Caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed that he had just added one more thing to the list of damage Team Serena had done to the Center.
"I do stupid things."
"It's not just that," she added in a high-pitched voice.
Not just that? What did she mean, not just that? His destructive power couldn't be that... Ah! he finally understood. Pinned to his side, firmly held by his wing, Serena could easily feel the shudder of the scales against her cheek. Truly stupid! He hurried to release her, apologetic flames escaping from his mouth as Serena repaired her messy curls.
"You won't let me touch them, but the other way around..."
He wasn't in control of everything his wings did! Well, he was, a little, but when you've always had two arms and two legs, it wasn't so easy to incorporate two extra limbs into your physical schema.
"There are a lot of things I don't understand about you," Serena complained with a sigh. "Even when you try to tell me what's on your mind, I can't... Maybe that's why Amelia thought..."
"Char?" the dragon worried, surprised that the rival's name had come up again.
She said you were lying, what do you think? It wasn't something Serena could tell him directly. And anyway, she couldn't imagine how or why he would do such a thing. That she couldn't always hear what he wanted to say, no doubt, but that he would deceive her was simply impossible.
"Actually, I didn't understand what Espeon was doing to stop your attacks, even in Charmeleon you weren't so easily confused."
Ash clenched his muzzle at the painful memory. To be honest, he was the first to be surprised.
"You have no idea?"
"Char."
"Is it me or are you really bad with your body?"
Ash tensed. The other pokemons seemed to know instinctively how they worked, while his instincts only made him look like a bloodthirsty monster.
"Ah, it's true, we didn't train today!" she suddenly remembered.
He thought the day's contest would have been enough for her, but if she wanted to work on new routines before they went to bed...
"No!" he suddenly realized. She held out her hand, leaving little doubt as to what she wanted. "It's been a long day and I'm tired, very tired. So why don't we postpone this training until tomorrow, or the day after, or, hey, why not next week, so that we're perfectly rested!"
"Charizard."
Reluctantly, he stretched out his wing. One touch and the electric shocks spread through his nerves to his marrow.
"Tell me, Charizard, do you remember what I told you? About my goal in coming here to Hoenn, what I wanted to learn... I think I'll put that on hold for a while."
"Chari?"
His cry of astonishment was stifled as he arched forward. She intensified her touch so he couldn't argue, it was cheating.
"If I can't help my own pokemons, how can I help the others? That's why I want to focus on you first, the rest will come later."
"Keep it down, Serena," pleaded Ash, who had lost track of what she was saying. He curled up until he found a position where he could stand the back and forth of her fingers. Fortunately, the girl stopped, allowing him to catch his breath. "I still don't think this is a good idea," he groaned, panting.
He hadn't expected to see the blue eyes so close when he opened his own again. He'd ended up with his forehead resting on his trainer's, clutching her dress with his claws, so this was the most comfortable position... Serena recoiled with a start, as if she'd been burned by the scales. Yet, and he checked, his forehead didn't break any temperature records.
"Char?"
And why was she looking so nervous? She kept her hands clasped to her chest, a faint blush in her cheeks... Ash swallowed as the girl turned her head away.
"Serena? Are you okay?" he tried.
Serena tensed. Yes, everything was fine, except for her heart, which was beating way too fast! She shook her head. What the hell had gotten into her lately?
"I'd like to try and find Amelia tomorrow, will you help me?"
Ash lowered his head. He looked at his orange scales and claws for a long moment. Serena recoiled when he looked at her with dark eyes, she had the impression he was... Disappointed with what he is?
"Char," he finally nodded.
I don't know him. It's mostly because I don't know him, and I still have a lot to learn about him, that I feel... Oh come on Serena, no matter what Amelia says (besides, she's only seen him for a few seconds!), Charizard is still Charizard and... what else would you want him to be?
Quickly getting rid of her thoughts, she looked around until she came to the pile of cushions. It was true, she had to talk to him about this detail as well.
"Charizard, about us sleeping together... I don't think that's possible anymore."
"Zard?" Ash shouted louder than he'd expected.
"You're heavier than before and I'm afraid the slats won't hold, not to mention that you must feel cramped with your new size," the young girl explained. "That's why I've borrowed some pillows, so you can lie as you like and still be comfortable."
Ash had always asked not to sleep in the same bed, so why did he feel so bad now that she offered?
"Char," he chuckled his acceptance.
Serena winced. She knew he wouldn't jump for joy, but she hadn't expected the scales to turn so pale. He didn't make it easy, but she couldn't, she really couldn't... What exactly am I afraid of?
"Forget what I said," she sighed.
Anyway, she was no more than a head injury or two away. Besides, just because the bed creaked with every move he made didn't mean it had to break. It was just a strong probability, and everyone knew that probabilities were never to be trusted.
"Char... Chari, zar, zard!"
"You don't have to force yourself to play the big man," she reminded him.
He wasn't playing! It suited him, really! Besides, he was going to bed, right now, and sleep better than ever, away from Serena's warmth... Much, much better, he told himself, his head in the pillow, his neck stretched to the limit to take up all the space he could.
"If it suits you, so much the better," Serena finally convinced herself.
And no matter what bitterness her heart spat out, she'd get used to it, she'd have no choice but to get used to it. That's why I brought a hot water bottle.
A mistake. The path she had chosen was a mistake and it was time to disappear.
Sitting on the terrace of a café, Amelia couldn't stop her hands from shaking. She who had failed the contest, sacrificed so that Serena could succeed.
"Miss, are you all right?" the waiter worried. "If you need to lie down, we have some chairs inside and..."
"Do I look that bad?"
The waiter put a coffee on the table with a worried look on his face.
"On the house," he said simply.
She tasted it, let the bitterness wash over her, it wouldn't be enough.
A mistake. The path he had chosen was a mistake he could live with.
The cup had shattered on the floor and Amelia watched the darkness seep into the cobblestones. She was a shadow in the middle of the streets, he was green lightning zigzagging across the walls, a mere treecko that met her gaze for a second. His mind reverberated, then melted away, no longer quite hers.
He waited for everything to correct itself.
Her body imploded, disintegrating until there was nothing left of her. The artisan begged, apologized, injustice? It was a human idea. So why was it echoing so loudly inside him now?
Torn apart. The eyes stared at her, full of rage that she had violated their secrets in this way. But her senses were too confused to tell her to be afraid, and she let herself be tossed around, forgetting who she was until the fine phosphenes under her eyelids woke her.
Amelia scratched at the porcelain debris with her fingers, but even so, she couldn't make the dream that was rising before her disappear, and she had to face the facts: it was the Prismatic Tower, the real Prismatic Tower. She took a deep breath of the fresh Kalos air, longing to return to the safety of her hometown. Still, her gaze wandered farther, toward what she guessed deep down was Geosenge Town. She knew this place, she'd been here before... a smell of ash and incense.
Azoth.
The first thing Serena sought in her semi-conscious state was scaly warmth. A comfort she didn't find, her hand only grazing the tepidness of the cushions. Why was he up so early? She yawned and sank deeper into the pile of pillows.
The hot-water bottle hadn't worked. She'd had nightmare after nightmare, until she'd crawled in exhausted next to the pokemon. A move she made at her own peril, since she'd heard him flailing around during the night, and she was already prepared for a few blows from tail and wings... which never came. The dragon preferred to wrap his long neck around her and embrace her in both his arms and his wings, as if they were reunited after a long absence. Serena's heart leapt with joy at this newfound warmth - a little too much, in fact. But could she really be blamed? They'd made up, and she could feel how much he valued her as a trainer, more than enough to disturb her. Serena stifled another yawn. He really had left early and... Nurse Joy! With her hair half done, Serena was already preparing her apology when she presented herself to the nurse.
"We're already done."
"We?"
"Charizard beat you to it," the nurse teased. "And you can thank him for keeping me from waking you."
"You shouldn't have listened to him!"
"Unfortunately, he'd already thrown the bucket of water out the window. A little too hard, in fact, so I added it to the list."
Serena paled both at the icy wake-up call she'd avoided and at her trainer's subsidies, which were likely to be very meager next month. It was a good thing she'd won this contest to make up for it.
"By the way, where's Charizard?" the young girl asked, not seeing him anywhere.
"I let him use the kitchen after he helped me, so I guess he's still there."
Serena opened her mouth wide in surprise. The kitchen? What do you mean, the kitchen?
"He doesn't have much of a head for work, so I was surprised he knew how to cook..."
Wait, wait, wait! Charizard? Cook? Since when?! He was already struggling when she asked him to do some simple tasks while she cooked most of their meals, but for him to try on his own... Serena had a bad feeling about this, made worse by that burnt smell as she approached the room the nurse had indicated. Please don't let the kitchen be on fire. Please don't let the kitchen catch fire! Her prayer was answered. There were no flames, and the white ash that covered the furniture was nothing more than flour. Nothing that won't disappear with a good cleaning, the young girl reassured herself as she counted the slimy puddles on the floor.
"Charizard?"
He gasped, and so did his frying pan before he caught it, both hands on the Teflon. He was ready to rush back to Joy... except he put the utensil down quietly and stared at the girl, not understanding the reason for her panic.
"You didn't burn yourself?" she wanted to be sure.
He winced at the remark and checked his hands, surprised that they were intact. He had to avoid developing bad habits or he would pay dearly when he was human again.
"Do you like coal now?" the young girl asked in all sincerity.
"Char?" the shapeshifter didn't understand.
She pointed to the blackish lumps at the bottom of the frying pan that would be difficult to scour. Ash grinned and reached for the book he'd taken the recipe from.
"Charicha!" he purred, proud of his find.
The young girl pushed aside the pages he had placed under her nose and sighed:
"Why didn't you wake me if you were hungry? You know I rarely refuse to cook for you."
He glanced at the injured shoulder, but not so quickly that the girl didn't notice. Serena paled, it was true that she needed more time than before, but...
"Charizard, you're not going to starve if you wait another thirty minutes."
"That's not the point!" the dragon offended. "You're always busy cooking when I... I just wish I could tell you once in a while that you can rest, do something else, because I'm here and I'll take care of everything."
The girl blinked in surprise before tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear and looking thoughtful.
"Ah! Sorry, I forgot to mime and..."
"Crepes, right?
He hesitated to nod as she took the book from his hands and put out the fire.
"It's a good idea to start with something simple. But there aren't enough pictures for you to get through on your own, and it's doomed to fail anyway if you can't read the quantities you need."
Ash took offense at this. She hadn't said it unkindly, and he couldn't deny that he'd dropped out of school at ten, but he wasn't at the stage where he couldn't read a simple recipe, and it hurt that she thought otherwise, as if he were... Stupid? Uneducated? He sat down next to the girl and underlined the sentence "Take 50 cl of milk" with his claw as he read aloud:
"Rizard, chari."
Thus, he proved absolutely nothing to his trainer. In any case, Serena was not able to decipher oriental characters, except for numbers, and would not have been able to verify what he was quoting. A detail Ash thought nothing of as he picked up a measuring glass in one hand and a carton of milk in the other, determined to show her what he could do. But tragically, the graduations only showed 1/8, ½, ¼ and not 50 cl. He turned the glass several times and quickly had to go to plan B: 50cl must be about the same as 50g of flour.
"Nice try, Charizard, but you can't improvise," she quipped.
Well, first of all, he could assure her that improvisation had helped him win many a battle. And secondly, there was no reason why he couldn't make a few adjustments to improve the recipe.
"It won't be easy if you really want to cook everything yourself, but maybe I can teach you some recipes and help you recognize certain numbers, or at least give you a good idea of the quantities needed for your preparations."
Ash still had the uncomfortable feeling of being completely illiterate. Worse than that, it was as if she were implying that more than not knowing, he wouldn't be able to read.
"We're going to start by cleaning everything up so we can start again in good condition, won't you help me?" she offered with a wink.
Ash looked around. A good cleanup was indeed necessary, and considering the size of the task, he could hardly do without his trainer's help.
"Chari," he apologized.
Serena smiled gently. He didn't hesitate to plunge his hands into the water, not a pleasant thing for a fire type, and did his best to finish his part of the kitchen as quickly as possible so that he could then help the young girl. In the end, this was more often done in the opposite direction, as in the rush, his tail would knock over the bucket or any other object unfortunate enough to cross his path. With all that going on, Serena wasn't sure she'd be able to go out looking for Amelia this morning. I just found a good excuse to avoid her, she despaired.
"Chari?" worried the fake pokemon, who had noticed the young girl looking more and more at the clock.
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" she immediately defended herself. "After all, we won the contest... Stir more carefully," she said, touching the fake pokemon's hand, "or there'll be more dough on the table than in the bowl."
Ash stopped to relax his wrist. He hadn't necessarily thought about the contest, but it was the first thing she had mentioned to him. "I didn't make it," she'd said last night before he'd interrupted. What did she mean by that? Why did she look so sad despite the ribbon in her hand? And why was he only thinking about this now?!
"Charrr..." he stopped himself at the last moment.
Would she resent it if he interfered with something that was none of his business?
"You can start heating the pan if you want, I'll finish mixing the batter."
"Charichar?"
"I already told you, my shoulder is much better and you've already put me to work," she reassured him.
Perhaps he should leave her alone and... He lit the fire with a sharp gesture. No, no and no! This was no time for old habits! He might not be the best at understanding what was going on in people's heads, but with Serena he wanted to try, no matter how complicated it might be.
"Char," the dragon insisted as he approached the girl.
She put her hand on her friend's muzzle to stop him from going any further.
"It's okay," she sighed.
"Sorry, but I'm not just going to smile and say okay, not this time."
Serena bit her lip. She had a feeling that the dragon wouldn't give up so easily, and that she'd only be worrying him by remaining silent.
"All right, maybe things aren't going so well, but don't think it's a big deal, it's just... We had a little talk with Amelia."
He knew that, which was why he'd been waiting in the field for Serena to come back for him.
"Chari?"
"No, not really," the coordinator admitted. "And it's all my fault."
"Char, Charichar!" he tried to contradict her.
"You don't understand Charizard! I thought I could understand how she felt, but in the end... I didn't listen. I was talking to her before I even listened. Exactly what I did to you, exactly what made you suffer."
He didn't dare answer, his stomach burned again.
"I can't make anyone I meet smile, let alone inspire them like Aria did. I feel so far away from what I wanted when..." Serena looked down at the lumpy dough. Only now did she realize why she needed to talk to Amelia so badly, to make amends. "When we met in Kalos, just after the showcase... I overheard her conversation with Mrs. Palermo."
"Zard?"
"I didn't mean to spy on them! I was looking for my brush and you see, I missed it and..."
Ash felt a drop of sweat trickle down his temple. He had the impression that Serena understood him much better this morning, but there were still a few missteps. And who was this Palermo woman anyway?
"As I listened to them, I started to think about what I was missing. And then I reached the final of the Master Class without caring what had become of her... I took advantage of her defeat, I took advantage of her defeat at the very moment I discovered what it meant to be Kalos Queen!"
She had shouted her last words, guilt and self-loathing piercing her voice until a trembling wing came to rest on her shoulders. Ash did his best to hold the coordinator's gaze. He didn't know what to say, which words would be the right ones or which would hurt.
"Chaarrri," he gurgled.
She touched his wing with her finger and felt it tremble again, but he didn't pull it back.
"Charizards are more considerate than you'd think," she teased.
Serena carefully pushed the membrane aside to make room to mix the paste again. The shapeshifter lowered his head, painfully accepting his failure.
"Now you can oil the pan."
He performed his task like an automaton, taking a strange interest in the drops of grease that bounced to the rhythm of the flames. So focused that he didn't feel the eyes staring back at him, thinking. More thoughtful. Kinder too, gentler, always there to help their trainers, far more than people realize... But really, it's all because of you, isn't it?
"Because you've never been a pokemon like the others."
He had turned at the whisper, not understanding what she was saying until his breath caught. She was probing him, as if trying to see through the scales, through the mask... He took a step back and, without realizing it, placed his palm against the crackling Teflon surface. It wouldn't be enough to burn him, not yet, but if he waited too long...
"Why Charizard? Why are you so different?"
He turned off the fire.
"We'd better stop here," he admitted. "Otherwise, I think Amelia will have won the Grand Festival before I've managed to cook you some decent crepes."
Again, Serena seemed to have understood his words without him having to pantomime. The trainer was doing what she'd promised: hearing him better, understanding him better, knowing who he was better. What should have been joy, what should have been victory, now looked like Doublide above his head, as they liked to say in Kalos.
The shapeshifter trembled. She couldn't find out, not until he was back in his human body, to make sure she didn't stop contests to help this idiot trapped in a pokemon body, that she didn't stop for him... Like Mom. The grease still on his palm came to soak the scales near his heart. Does it still scare me so much? No matter how much I say I want to trust you, no matter how much I try to get closer, I still can't... What would you find, Serena?
A TV to block everything out.
What would you find if you were looking for me?
A child who loved pokemons.
Notes : So, about that Kalos League-style ellipsis... I think it's much easier to get bored reading about fights than watching them in anime, not to mention that you'd need an extra chapter or two to let Serena's other Pokémons shine. Whole chapters that wouldn't focus on the reason you're reading this fic (and I'm writing this fic): the relationship between Ash and Serena. Hence the decision to quickly move on to a chapter that puts them right back in the spotlight.
Ash was very chatty in this chapter. Implicit language is always great to use because it leaves it up to the reader to interpret things as they see fit, but in the end, we also get very attached to the characters when they open up about their thoughts and feelings. The difficulty is to make that come out in a natural way.
The part where Ash learns to cook was supposed to come much, much later. And most importantly, it was going to be a crash course, with barely half a chapter devoted to it, and it wasn't Serena doing the training. I wanted to give it a little more prominence here, because I think it's a good sign of Ash's development: he can't just help Serena with what he knows and loves (like Pokemon fighting), he also has to get out of his comfort zone and do things that aren't as cool as saving his trainer's life or winning contests ^^.