Seagulls cried out in the sky above, hovering over the ships in Mistral's main port, looking for a quick and easy meal from one of the many fishing boats docked there. They screeched and swooped at any vessel foolish enough to leave their quarry unguarded for even a second. However, this morning the winged scavengers feast was cut short as they were all scattered by a loud foghorn blaring loudly.
The S.S. Pride had been docked since around sunrise, it's ear splitting foghorn signaling the extension of its boarding plank, letting everyone in attendance know that it was ready to begin talking on passengers.
Mata took a deep breath through his nose, taking in a lung full of the ocean air. Her expected the scent to be a familiar one, but for some reason the air here tasted different from the coasts of Menagerie. It was... saltier, he supposed? Whatever the difference was, it made him miss his home even more. He couldn't wait to see his mom again, to sleep in his own bed, to bump his head on those annoyingly low door-frames of his tiny house. It had only been a week, but it'd felt like years, and now, finally, Mata was going home, and he wasn't going alone.
The transports that brought him and the rest of the militia to the port town of Tortal were all lined up by the docks. Most of them were empty by this point, a majority of the large group of faunus they'd brought were currently milling about the old harbor, waiting for the Pride to let them aboard, all of them seemingly just as eager at Mata to get out of Mistral and back to their peaceful lives on Menagerie. However, before the civilians could get on the boat, their were other passengers that needed to be "secured" first.
The crowd of faunus began to quiet as the sound of shuffling feet and clanking chains filled the docks. From the final transport came a long line of faunus, each wearing a pair of metal shackles around there wrists and ankles, attached to the person in front of and behind them. They were the prisoners taken from the Battle for Haven, the ones who'd surrendered peacefully, many still wearing their White Fang uniforms, minus the masks.
The chained faunus received many scrutinizing looks as they passed the others of their kind. Some glared right back at them, while others hung their heads low, a look of deep shame on their faces.
At the front and back of the line were the Huntresses that had been traveling with and protecting the militia. Bringing up the rear was Maybelle, who took in the sight of the misguided members of her race with a pitiable expression. Her silver haired, human, companion was leading the pack, her own expression unreadable as she guided the White Fang members to the gangplank and began herding them onto the ship, where they were greeted by members of Menagerie's guard, who would be keeping watch over them on the ride back to the island of faunus, where they'd be tried for their crimes.
Among the crowd of faunus Mata saw a familiar looking pair of ram horns, like his own, but slightly longer, more curled, and darker colored.
Arbol trudged along with the rest of the detainees, his shoulders slouched, and his head hanging low, staring straight at the ground before him. It broke Mata's heart to see his older brother in chains like that, but he knew this was the way it had to be, for now anyway.
Thankfully, Arbol hadn't resisted arrest at the Battle for Haven, unlike so many others in the White Fang that had chosen to fight. Apparently all it had taken was one desperate plea from his younger sibling- whom he hadn't seen in years- for the elder ram faunus to realize he was on the wrong side. He'd laid down his weapon and put his hands behind his head, without firing off a single shot that night. That would go a long way in getting him a more lenient punishment once they got back to Menagerie... hopefully.
Things had gone well... but Mata knew this was just the beginning of a much longer struggle for him and his family. He wondered just how his mom would react to seeing Arbol again after all these years, or how his older brother would react to seeing her as well. The last time they'd all been together it had been a screaming match between the two, with a young Mata trapped in the middle.
On top of all of that there was the trial to worry about as well. Who knows how the citizens of Menagerie would feel about a bunch of White Fang prisoners coming home, especially after the organizations brazen attack on the chieftains home. Peaceful surrender or not, what kind of punishment would the faunus back on the island see fit for this group of renegades?
As Mata began fearing the worst, he somehow managed to catch his brothers attention. The elder ram faunus looked up from his shameful walk and locked eyes with his baby brother. The pair shared a long look with each other in silence, both of their faces full of regret at the current situation they'd found themselves in, as well as the uncertain future that awaited back on Menagerie.
But then, despite the heavy despair clinging to both faunus' hearts, Arbol have his brother a small, optimistic looking smile. One that seemed to say he'd do what it took to make things right between them. Mata had almost forgotten about that side of his brother. Arbol had never been the lazy type, always willing to put in the work, even when it was hard.
With his own hopeful smirk, Mata returned the look, giving Arbol a small nod of understanding. They both knew the path ahead would be difficult, but the brothers had each other again, and they'd face what came with their heads held high and hope in their hearts.
A small tug from the chain attaching him to the faunus ahead of himself jerked Arbol out of his sentimental moment. He gave his brother an embarrassed looking shrug before turning away and allowing himself to be lead onto the Pride.
Mata continued to watch in silence as the White Fang members disappeared from the deck of the ship, deeper down into its hold, then he let out weary sigh. His first trip to Mistral had been anything but boring, that was for sure, but at least he could return home happy he'd done what he'd set out to do.
The giant ram faunus smiled to himself, before turning away from the boat, and being immediately reminded that not everyone was as thrilled as he was about going back to Menagerie.
Sitting secluded from the rest of the faunus waiting at the dock, underneath the shade of a medium sized oak tree was Carmella. The rabbit girl was resting on top of a small boulder that was entwined with the trees roots, looking down at something she was fiddling with in her hands. As Mata got closer, he was able to identify the device, and felt a spike of pain in his chest, not at all helped by the miserable expression on his friends face as she absentmindedly traced the weapons curves and notches with her fingers.
The rabbit girl heard the larger faunus' approach, but couldn't be bothered to raise her head to acknowledge him. She was too absorbed in inspecting every facet of the metal object still in her grip. Carmella slowly rotated it against the beams on sunlight breaking through the thick foliage of the tree above her.
She'd been such a mess on the ride back, Carmella hadn't even noticed she was still holding it until the transports arrived at the docks, but once it felt like she'd cried out every single drop of water in her body, the rabbit girl was finally able to perceive the familiar object still clutched tightly in her hand. And that's what she'd been up to the last half hour or so, silently examining the device, with a miserable look on her face, while waiting for the Pride to finish the final preparations for its trip.
Carmella knew she should just throw the thing away, let it rust and rot away in the grass for all she cared, anything to just be done with all this, but she couldn't. For some reason, she still felt a seemingly inescapable attachment to the device, and to its owner as well, even if she was aware now that those feelings were one-sided. The rabbit girl felt her fingers instinctively tighten around the weapons leather covered hilt as the still fresh pain in her heart flared up again.
"Carm?"
The voice of her longtime friend didn't even stir the rabbit faunus from her misery filled stewing.
"Carm, it's..." Mata began, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He wanted to be gentle about this, but also didn't want to risk Carmella or himself getting left behind. "They're going to start loading up soon. We... should probably go join the others."
There was still no response from Carmella, but the rabbit faunus did stop her strangely thorough inspection of the device, and instead let the weapon rest in both palms in her lap, where she just continued to stare at it.
"Carm, I-"
"I heard you," the brunette girl finally replied- still not looking up- in a despondent sounding voice that was completely foreign from her usual tone. "I just... I need a few more seconds."
Any meager rebuttal Mata might have had was cut off when the long, thin blade of the weapon in Carmella's hands popped out with a metallic *Shink*. The ram faunus took a step back, not really liking the look on the clearly still distraught rabbit faunus' face as she finally lifted her head to study the sharp edge a moment before mumbling;
"There's something I need to do first."
All Ilia had wanted was a little solitude, to be alone and sink into the pool of misery she'd created, as well as a chance to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable final goodbye that was coming, but apparently that just wasn't in the cards this morning.
As soon as she'd set foot off the transport the poor chameleon girl was immediately beset by Ruby, as well as the rest of Blake's annoyingly clingy friends. For some reason, they were still all concerned about Ilia after the attack from the Alpha she'd taken earlier. She'd tried to politely dissuade them, told them that she was fine- which was true, physically at least- while also trying to slip away unnoticed, but there had been no chance for escape, and now she was trapped.
The flock of humans- and one other faunus- were all clumped together, sitting in a patch of grass within spitting distance of the docks, chatting idly with each other- mainly about the Grimm attack that they'd just helped stop- with Ilia having been unwillingly absorbed into the amalgamation of bodies.
The worst part was that Blake wasn't even there to act as a buffer between the antisocial chameleon girl and the others. In fact, Ilia hadn't seen the cat faunus all morning. Which was weird, considering it seemed like her old friend hadn't left her teams side since they'd been reunited.
The Schn- er... Weiss was also conspicuously absent from the group as well, but that weighed less heavy on the chameleon girls mind. Not to say that she'd have been necessarily upset if she was there- most of the bitterness Ilia felt towards the white haired girl had simmered after their talk- she just wished the ratio of human to faunus wasn't so lopsided.
"... Oh man, that fight was crazy," Sun said in a way too loud and chipper sounding tone for the sleep deprived Ilia sitting directly to his left. "Never a dull moment with you guys, I swear. Can't believe Blake missed out on all the action."
"I guess that meeting between her parents and the MPD must have been important," Ruby replied. "I think she said it had something to do with some White Fang holdouts still in the kingdom..."
Ah. Well. That answered at least one of Ilia's most recent questions, and also raised a few red flags in her mind, but they were quickly ignored. The White Fang wasn't a threat, not at the moment anyway. The chameleon girl stood by what she'd said to the Belladonna's at Haven; that without Adam's "ambitious" leadership, the Fang was destined to divide and eventually fall apart all on its own sooner or later. Any leaderless holdouts in the city wouldn't last long, the police would scoop them up in no time. It wasn't worth adding more concerns into Ilia's already full plate.
However, as the conversation around her continued on, one thing that did catch the spotted girls attention was the subtle shift in Yang's expression when the group's topic momentarily switched to Blake.
Blending in had always been the chameleon girls specialty. That meant she'd spent a lot of time watching people, gathering information from them, assessing body language. So it was obvious to her when the blonde humans lavender colored eyes drifted away from everyone else's, her brow furrowed slightly, and the synthetic fingers on her right arm- which was currently resting on her propped up knee as she sat in the grass with the others- curled just a little bit, for only a second, before relaxing again.
Maybe things with Blake and her friends weren't as sunshine and rainbows as Ilia thought.
"- And then there was that Beowolf on steroids too! I still can't believe you stood up to that thing, alone," Neptune said, trying- not for the first time- to make Ilia a part of the conversation.
Now the entire groups eyes were on her, as if they were expecting some kind of response out of the reserved spotted faunus.
"It... really wasn't that big of a deal..." she mumbled out, the sudden attention making her stomach twist in knots. "I'm sure you guys have fought bigger things than that," the chameleon girl added in an attempt to deflect the conversation elsewhere, anywhere but towards her.
Immediately, everyone began speaking at once, all eager to share tales of there exploits. Mission accomplished, the pony-tailed faunus thought to herself in relief. Although she had a feeling the topic would find it's way back around to her eventually. The seven people surrounding her seemed relentless when it came to including Ilia in this... banter of theirs.
This was so stupid. Why was Ilia even putting up with these guys? They weren't even her friends to begin with. If it wasn't for Blake, none of them would want anything to do with Ilia... probably. What was stopping the chameleon faunus from just getting up and walking away from them?
Absolutely nothing... nothing at all...
Soooooo... Why wasn't she leaving?
Ilia knew why. Because at the core of it all, despite how clingy, overly friendly, annoying, and almost aggressively positive as this group was, the pony-tailed faunus just... She didn't want to be alone right now, not today of all days. Blake friends were an all too welcome distraction from her thoughts.
That wasn't to say the group was unbearable to be around or anything. Ilia would even go so far as to say that she kinda, sorta got what Blake saw in them. They seemed... decent enough, she supposed, now that she'd spent a little more time with them. Which was high praise from the usually distrustful faunus.
There were some among the group that Ilia gravitated towards more than others, of course. Ruby was an obvious favorite practically right out of the gate. The two of them had more or less bonded right away over their shared interest in weapons. Ruby's sister, Yang, seemed okay too (although the spotted faunus definitely still had a few questions about that relationship based on the pairs appearances), but she was the member of Blake's team the chameleon girl has spent the least amount of time around, so there were still a lot of unknowns there.
Sun was... Sun. Ilia had a feeling their "friendship" was about as good as it was gonna get. Which, considering their first meeting had ended in a stabbing, it was miraculous the two of them had any sort of positive relationship at all. Regardless, what they had seemed good enough for the monkey faunus, so it was good enough for Ilia too.
Then there was Sun's newly apparated "friend," Neptune, who seemed to be consistently giving Ilia strange ever looks since the moment the group sat down. It wasn't the usual glare or suspicious glances the chameleon girl was used to receiving from humans though. Instead, whenever Ilia would mistakenly make eye contact with him, the blue haired boy would always smirk and raise an eyebrow at her, one or twice punctuating the look with a wink.
Seriously, what was wrong with him? Was he having some kind of weird stroke that no one else seemed to notice or something? Was it a cry for help?
The bizarre behavior didn't necessarily make Ilia uncomfortable or anything, it was just... confusing. Beyond that though, he seemed harmless, likable enough, she supposed. Although the pony-tailed faunus was immensely grateful Sun had chosen to sit as a barrier between Neptune and herself when the group had settled down.
That left the three remaining humans present. They were also friends of Blake from her time at Beacon, but not from the same team, apparently. Jaune, Ilia had no right to judge, considering he'd quite literally saved her life a mere hour ago. The still embarrassed spotted faunus had made sure to reiterate just how sorry she was for her reaction to said "saving," the moment the two of them met up again, but the blonde human- who seemed to have mostly recovered from Ilia's impromptu submission hold- had just smiled and laughed it off, telling her that he was 'just glad she was okay.'
His quick forgiveness was appreciated, but if the chameleon girl had a lien for every time she'd (sort of) accidentally physically assaulted one of Blake friends and they'd easily forgiven her she'd... have two lien. Which isn't a whole lot, but it was still problematic that it'd happened twice. Probably best not to try for a third.
Then there were the other two, Jaune's teammates, the boy in green, and the girl in pink. Ren and Nora, as Ilia had gathered listening to the others converse around her. The chameleon girl could have sworn most combat schools put their students in teams of four, not three, but she hadn't seen anyone else hanging around the trio, so maybe she was mistaken? Ultimately she'd decided not to dwell on the inconsistency any more than that.
Regardless, the pair of humans seemed close... like, really close. And sure, you could say that all of Blake friend's were like that with one another, but this was different. When Ilia said they seemed "close," she was more referring to their literal proximity, with Nora being practically pressed up against Ren while the two engaged with the others, almost seeming fused to his side.
It was weird.
Don't get her wrong, it wasn't that Ilia found the pairs closeness wrong or particularly unsettling by any means, she'd just never been good when it came to being present to such public displays of affection, especially involving humans. She'd spent so long watching humanity at their worst- looking down on and spitting on her own kind- that seeing them openly display something as simple and normal as affection for one another... it just wasn't a sight she was used to seeing.
Nora let out a booming laugh as she regaled everyone with the tale of how she'd help take down some kind of massive horse Grimm- which, judging by the orange haired girls description, sounded absolutely horrifying to Ilia. The human in pink gently elbowed the boy sitting next to her and shot him a grin, her look seeming to silently ask for him to corroborate her story to the others who weren't there.
Ren, who'd remained almost as silent and stone-faced as Ilia herself during this whole conversation, gave a curt nod before affirming what had happened. It was subtle, but Ilia also noticed his stoic demeanor shifting ever so slightly as the edge his lip curved upwards at his teammates antics.
The two of them seemed so different, but even in the incredibly minuscule amount of time the chameleon girl had spent around them, she could see the bond connecting them. Like the two shared the same energy source, but clearly Nora got ninety percent of it, while Ren took whatever was left, and yet it was an arrangement they both seemed more than content with.
Two opposing personalities that somehow fit together. Like pieces of a puzzle, making each other complete... in spite of the dangers and complications of the lives they've chosen... as well as their own fears... they... chose to be happy...
Ilia's eyes darted away from the pair of humans the moment she felt her thoughts begin to stray, right when she began seeing some disturbingly familiar parallels between their situation and her own. She let out a quiet huff as she regained control of herself and her emotions.
She was fine. as long as Ilia was able to keep her mind distracted, then-
"-And what about that rabbit faunus back there?"
Yang's voice shattered any and all focus the chameleon girl had built.
"Did you see the way she grabbed Ilia's weapon and stabbed that huge thing in the eye out of nowhere!?" the blonde said as she pointed to one of her own lavender irises to accentuate her point. "Saved my butt, that's for sure."
Her concentration completely gone, Ilia's shoulders sank down as she slouched, debating whether or not you make a quick escape before it was too late...
"I know right?!" Ruby chimed in excitedly, "I know she was with the rest of the Menagerie militia, but I think she came to the house we were staying at once to talk to Blake too. I never learnt her name though. I wonder who she is..."
Too late. Ilia didn't even have to look up to know that peculiar pair of silver colored eyes had drifted over in her direction.
"Do you know that girl, Ilia?" Ruby asked, much to the spotted girls chagrin.
"Yeah, you two seemed... close," Yang followed up with a tone filled with implications that just made Ilia want to curl up and die on the spot. "What's her name?"
The distressed faunus stared down at the grass beneath her, trying to conjure up any image in her brain other than the look of utter devastation on Carmella's face as Ilia told the rabbit faunus she was, 'going home,' that it was, 'best for everyone.'
She'd forced herself to watch the poor girls heart break, in perfect tandem with her own. It was an image that would haunt the pony-tailed faunus forever.
Finally managing to lift her head, Ilia was met with a handful of eager expressions, all waiting to know the identity of the brave mystery girl.
"... Carmella," Ilia reluctantly answered, looking off to escape the gaze of those around her, "Carmella Lindt..."
The name left a bitter, regret filled taste on the chameleon faunus' tongue as it left her lips, one that then slipped down her throat, burning all the way, before splashing into her knotted stomach. Feeling slightly nauseous, Ilia tightly grabbed at, and pulled a handful of the grass under her as she grit her teeth and fought with every fiber of her being to not change colors.
The idea of lying had crossed Ilia's mind in that moment. She could have said she had no idea who that girl was, but in addition to be hard to believe- given the embrace the two had shared- that honestly felt like even more of a betrayal. Carmella had worked hard to get closer to her dreams, and done something good, amazing, and brave. She deserved every bit of credit for it. She really was... incredible...
... And you're still just letting her go...
Damn it. Ilia thought she'd gotten past this, thought she'd finally become resolute in her decision. She couldn't afford to stumble now, here, at the finish line of this agonizing marathon.
"Wait, wait, wait, was that the girl you've been training with this last week?" Sun suddenly spoke up, making every muscle in Ilia's body tense up at once as her eyes practically exploded out of her head.
Seriously!? Did everyone know about that now? How did Sun even-
Kali... Of course. Who in Mistral hadn't she told at this point!?
Again, all of Blake's friends stared at the flustered faunus, waiting for her to spill the details on the girl Ilia had been so desperately trying not think about. It was becoming obvious that Ilia now needed a distraction from her distraction, and unfortunately, she got just that.
A loud foghorn rang out, talking the attention of everyone in the group, much to the chameleon girls relief, and then immediate disdain.
The Pride had finished its preparations, and it was time to for its passengers to start boarding. They'd be heading out soon...
"I guess it's time," Ruby said as she hopped up to her feet, followed by everyone else, all except for Ilia. "I'm glad we got the chance to see the militia off like this. It's the least we can do to thank them for saving the day at Haven."
There was a chorus of agreements ringing out above Ilia as she remained sitting on the ground. There was a tension gripping at her, holding her in place. She thought she'd mentally prepared herself for this moment, but now that it was time, the young faunus suddenly found it hard to breathe, let alone stand. She just stared straight ahead, frozen as she had been from the moment she'd heard the foghorn.
"You coming?" Sun asked, pulling Ilia out of her panicked trance. He looked down at the other faunus with a curious expression. Neptune and himself seemed to be the only ones who'd remained behind, after noticing the spotted girl's reluctance to join the rest.
For a moment, Ilia considered saying 'no' and just abandoning this whole plan to see Carmella off. What did she expect herself to do here, really? Just stand there and wave, forcing herself to smile as she let the rabbit girl slip through her fingers? It was one thing to plan something like that, but to actually do it? Ilia felt like she'd probably have an easier time removing one of her own kidneys... with a butter knife. It seemed impossible- not to mention slightly masochistic- to put herself through that kind of pain.
... But that was exactly what she was going to do.
Her mind was made up. All Ilia had to do was push herself just a little bit further. She was the one who'd pushed Carmella away in the first place, for the good of both faunus, and now it was time to finish it.
Do. The right. Thing. The chameleon faunus screamed internally at herself. It was that simple.
So Ilia closed her eyes, took a deep breath, repressing all those misguided emotions she felt, and steeling herself one last time for the final push.
However, when she opened her eyes, she saw Neptune's gloved hand outstretched towards her. The blue haired boy offered Ilia a dazzlingly white smile as he crouched down before her.
"Allow me," the human said smoothly as a small breeze lightly tussled his short, azure colored locks, and the sunlight reflected of the lenses of the goggles on his head.
Ilia stared blankly at the offered appendage for a moment, not really knowing what to make of it, or Neptune's bizarre behavior in general. The spotted girl looked up past the hand and raised an eyebrow at the boy in red. Behind him, the pony-tailed faunus noticed Sun facepalming, which led Ilia to believe this kind of thing was normal behavior for the monkey boy's friend.
Did Neptune think she was incapable of standing on her own or something? Had Ilia mistakenly given off that vibe? Gods, this was why she never bothered socializing with groups. She always seemed to give off the wrong signal.
Whatever. Not wanting to appear any ruder than she probably already did, Ilia accepted the help, taking Neptune's hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet.
"... Thanks?" Ilia mumbled, still wary of the blue haired humans strange antics.
"Anytime," Neptune replied with a wink.
Then Ilia noticed the goggle wearing teen was still holding her hand. She quickly let go, but Neptune continued to stare at her, smiling. The chameleon faunus returned the look with an uneasy grin and a quiet, nervous sounding chuckle, before beginning to back up slowly, and then turning away, walking off to join Ruby and the rest.
No, Seriously, what was up with that guy?
Once she departed, Neptune clutched his hands behind his head and gave Sun a proud smirk.
"See? Told ya," He said confidently, before following Ilia.
The monkey faunus gave his friend an unimpressed look as he walked away.
"I should probably tell him," Sun said to himself. "... Nah, he'll figure it out eventually... probably."
Meanwhile, Ilia caught up to the rest, just in time for the group to all disperse. Each went off towards a different part of the crowd of faunus getting ready to board and began their own conversations, shaking hands and thanking them for their help.
As Ilia watched this, it suddenly occurred to her that- much like herself- no one had forced Ruby and the others to come here. Granted, they'd been invaluable during the Grimm attack, but much like everyone else, they'd had no way of possible knowing such a thing would occur. They had no obligation to the people of Menagerie for what they'd done at Haven, nothing to gain from any of this. They'd simply chosen of their own free will to take the long, and no doubt very uncomfortable and inconvenient, ride down to this port, all for this... this... display of genuine gratitude.
The young spotted faunus let out a huff of a laugh, crossing her arms, and couldn't resist a smile as she watched the scene unfold before her. It had been a long time since she'd witnessed such a display of respect and kindness between humanity and her own kind. It didn't come close to making things right between the two races or anything, or to changing her opinion on humans as a whole, but for just a moment there, Ilia could have sworn she felt something she hadn't since she was a little kid; Hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe things could change, that both races could be better... someday. Blake's friends really were something, weren't they? The chameleon girl watched as Ruby thanked a woman with fins on her wrists and legs, energetically shaking the faunus' hand with both of her own.
Yeah, okay, Ilia was definitely starting to get what her old friend saw in these guys now.
For a moment, Ilia was inclined to join the others, but then remembered that she wasn't exactly popular amongst the citizens of Menagerie, so that probably wasn't a great idea. So she just sort of stood there, awkwardly, hands clasped behind her back. With everyone else gone, the pony-tailed faunus was suddenly aware just how much she stood out, standing all alone like this. She almost missed the chaos the group had provided. Even worse, now she was alone with her thoughts, and there was nothing to distract her from thinking about-
Carmella!
A pair of familiar colored rabbit ears suddenly popped up in the crowd, nearly giving Ilia a heart attack when she noticed them.
The long eared faunus was standing about twenty yards away, facing towards the SS Pride, giving Ilia a side profile view. She looked... well, probably about as terrible as she felt. Her ears were drooped down low, something Ilia had learnt over the last week to be a clear indication the rabbit eared teen was upset. As Carmella looked on the ship with disdain, she reached up and wiped her face on her glove covered wrist, getting both her eye and nose in one swipe. Had she been... crying?
Nope, she'd been wrong, Ilia couldn't do this. She wanted to turn and run all the way back to Mistral. Anything to avoid the heart stomping scene unfolding before her.
... But she wouldn't do that. She couldn't. Ilia Amitola needed to see this through. Because for what felt like the hundredth time in her life, someone she cared about was leaving her, but this time would be different.
This time, she would be ready for the sudden departure, and it would be on her terms.
This time, she would get to say goodbye.
There would be no rug pulled out from under her, no jarring realization, or regret over their last conversation together. She'd said what she needed to say, maybe not what she'd wanted to, but-
Suddenly, as if she'd sensed the other girls presence, Carmella's head snapped in Ilia's direction.
A quiet gasp escaped the chameleon girl as her heart leapt up into her throat. For far from the first time this week, Ilia found herself trapped in those golden, honey colored eyes as they pierced straight through her.
It was like every other person there at the docks that morning disappeared, or maybe it was more like the entire world just dissolved away into nothingness around them as the two faunus were locked in eye contact.
Carmella's eyes went wide for about a half second, before her expression settled into something indecipherable to Ilia. The pony-tailed faunus had always thought herself pretty good at reading people, but at that moment had no idea what what the other teen was feeling.
Slowly, and almost with a will of its own, Ilia felt her hand raise about halfway, and give a small, awkward wave.
Carm's expression didn't change, but the rest of her body did turn to face the spotted faunus, away from the ship, which was more beginning to be boarded.
Ilia wondered what she was doing, until out of nowhere, Carmella began walking towards her.
No, no, no, no!
Panic exploded throughout Ilia as the rabbit girl approached. This wasn't part of the plan. The plan had been a bittersweet goodbye, but from a distance. That would be simple, easy even- or at least that's what the distressed spotted faunus had told herself- talking again would only make all of this hurt even more. What was there even left to talk about? Nothing, that's what. Ilia had basically stomped on the poor girls heart in front if her. So why was Carmella on her way over?!
Ilia wanted to disappear. To use her semblance to vanish, slip away into the crowd, but she couldn't. Carmella knew her tricks all too well at this point, the chameleon girl having used her ability to escape on her one too many times. That pair of golden colored eyes were locked on to Ilia, she would not escape what was coming. Not this time.
Trapped under the rabbit girls gaze, Ilia couldn't move even if she wanted to, her legs suddenly refusing to follow orders. Her back went rigid, her own skyrocketing pulse drowning out her minds desperate pleas for escape as Carmella's long strides easily closed the remaining distance between the two.
And there she was. Standing barely a foot away from her. The girl Ilia had been cowardly trying to avoid all morning had once again, despite every effort, managed to cross paths with her.
Ilia had always thought of herself as a tough girl, with the life she'd had, she kinda had to be, but somehow, this unassuming, perfectly normal rabbit faunus, someone she'd barely known a couple of weeks, always managed to push past all of that, to make the chameleon girl feel... vulnerable, like she'd been turned to glass, ready to shatter with a single word from Carmella's rosy lips.
However, right now, Carm wasn't saying anything. She was just staring at the pony-tailed teen, her expression just as indecipherable close up as it had been from a distance.
Just as the silence threatened to push Ilia over the edge, suddenly Carmella's hand reached out and grasped the chameleon girls, which had still been half raised from her earlier waving.
It felt like Ilia had just grabbed a live wire. Electricity shot up her arm and into her chest and brain, frying any thoughts she might've had and sending by her whole system into an emergency shutdown. If her legs hadn't still been locked in place, the spotted girl was sure she would have collapsed from the shock.
Carmella held the other faunus' appendage in front of her, palm facing up, her expression unchanged. Then she moved her free hand- which Ilia only then noticed the rabbit girl had hidden behind her back- and gently placed something in the spotted teens waiting grip.
The device was instantly recognizable to Ilia, but how did Carmella have it? That was impossible. It should have been clipped to the chameleon girls side like it always-
Ilia's other hand shot to her hip, only to feel the tough leather material of her stealth suit, and nothing else, just a empty spot, where her most prized possession was supposed to be. She turned her head to confirm was she'd felt, and sure enough, there was nothing there, Lightning Lash was gone from is usual spot, and instead found itself in her other hand, having just been deposited there by Carmella. But how?...
The Grimm attack... Yang had mentioned that Carmella had fought off the Alpha with Ilia's weapon, but even that hadn't been enough to get the pony-tailed girls attention, to make her realize Lightning Lash wasn't were it should have been. Had Ilia really gone all this time without noticing?
"I just... wanted to make sure I got this back to you..."
Ilia's gaze turned back towards the rabbit girl before her as Carm spoke, revealing the saddest looking smile the young faunus had ever seen grace the other faunus' face.
"Sorry I kept it for so long," Carmella said softly, looking down at the weapon. "I don't know why, but holding it just felt... It helped? I guess?"
The bizarre statement bounced right off Ilia's ears like rubber. She was far too focused on the other girls solemn look, and now that she was closer, it became obvious that the chameleon girls earlier assumption had been correct; Carmella had definitely been crying. Her eyes were a little red and puffy still, and the wetness covering her cheeks hadn't dried quite yet.
Ilia's eyes drifted back down towards Lightning Lash, still sitting in her palm. This weapon was more than just a tool for defending her, it had been the chameleon girls most loyal friend for years and years, ever since she'd first assembled the pieces herself. Even in those darkest moments, doing the Fang's dirty work all those years, the whip-blade had never left her side, protected her when the world got harsh. Even when she'd had nothing, no family, no friends, she'd always had Lightning Lash there to support her...
... And how had she shown her gratitude? By casually and cold-heartedly misplacing it, nearly leaving it behind, like it was just some thing. Like it meant nothing.
What was wrong with her? Where was Ilia's head at right now?
Idiot, Ilia scolded herself internally, How could just you abandon something that means so much to you?
Just then, the pony-tailed faunus began to look beyond her weapon, to the pair of hands that were still gently cupped around her own, Carmella's bare fingers ever so subtly shifting back and forth, seeming to caress Ilia's.
How could you...?
Those three words repeated over and over again in Ilia's mind, as she thought about how cruel she'd been to Carmella these past ten hours. First, she'd run off without a word after such an amazing evening spent with the other faunus, then she'd isolated herself emotionally, severed their link, and finally, after a life or death battle that nearly got both of them killed, the chameleon girl had completely blown Carmella off. She'd tossed her aside like a piece of trash in the streets. She'd abandoned her, just like she nearly had Lightning Lash, the same way nearly everyone Ilia cared about in her life had to her.
Carmella should hate her, Ilia would hardly have blamed her for it. The chameleon girl had driven so many nails into the coffin containing their relationship that it was more metal than wood at this point. Carm could have just tossed the weapon onto a ditch on the side of the road, somewhere no one would ever find it, because that's what Ilia deserved. There was no more fitting revenge for the pain the spotted girl had inflicted on Carmella, but instead the rabbit faunus had taken the time to return that which Ilia treasured most in the world. In spite of everything that had happened between them, Carm still felt compelled to be kind. Because that's who the rabbit girl was.
That was the kind of person Ilia was about to let slip through her fingers...
"Ilia..." Carmella said, regaining the spotted girls attention, "I wanted to... I mean, I... you..." The rabbit faunus closed her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh as she tried to organize her words. Once she was ready, she reopened her eyes, a more genuine smile finally emerging onto her face as she spoke;
"Thank you. For everything. I'm really glad I got to meet you. You uh... You mean a lot to me."
Something deep down inside Ilia lurched forward at the other faunus' words. Something chained and muzzled, begging for release.
The chameleon girl swallowed hard, repressing the feeling, shoving it back into its cage.
She opened her mouth to speak, to respond to the other faunus' feelings, but she couldn't. It was like every word that Ilia tried to say was a dagger against the throat of this facade she was trying to keep up, threatening to spill out her true emotions if she revealed too much.
"Y-yeah..." Ilia finally croaked out. It was the best she could do, but the word was like a stone plummeting into her own heart, thumping onto its surface and staying there, motionless, crushing her inside.
The smile fell from Carmella's face, her gaze dropping back down to the pair hands, before the rabbit girl pulled her own away, leaving Lightning Lash alone in its owners palm.
"Okay... well..." the brunette faunus began, clear disappointment and reluctance in her voice, "... I guess... I should get going..."
There was a despicable sense of relief at Carmella's words in Ilia that made her want to vomit right there on the spot. There was another lurch inside of her- not her in stomach, thank the Gods- it was that thing pulling at it's restraints yet again.
Hold it back. Only a little longer now...
It was agony though, watching Carmella take that first step back, beginning to turn away, but before she could completely face the other direction, the rabbit girl stopped. She looked at Ilia once more, a desperate longing in her brightly colored eyes.
"Um... hey... Before I go..." Carm began hesitantly, "do you think I could... I mean, do you mind..." Seeming to give up, the long eared faunus raised her arms, gesturing towards Ilia.
The chameleon girl let out a short, huff of a laugh that caught her completely off guard. The feeling sent a tremor through her entire body, shaking it to its core and nearly destroying every defense the spotted faunus had set up, and without even realizing she was doing it, Ilia raised her own arms. She hadn't even raised them halfway before Carmella shot forward, tightly embracing the other girl.
For a moment, Ilia remained frozen in place as the rabbit girl hugged her, but her pathetic resistance was crushed against the warmth of the other faunus pressed against her, and soon Ilia found herself holding Carmella just as tightly.
"Thank you... again, for everything," Carmella said in a whisper, sending a shiver down Ilia's spine.
Without warning a single tear escaped out of the chameleon girls left eye. She tried to blink it back, but the drop slipped down her cheek. This was going to kill her. It was so much worse than she'd ever imagined.
It's for the best. Do the right thing.
The mantra repeated itself over and over. Ilia thought about Carmella's family, her life back on Menagerie, those were the things she was battling with her own selfishness over. She wouldn't tear the rabbit girl away from them. She had to be the one to do the hard thing here. For Carmella's sake. The fact that it was this hard just meant it truly was the right thing by to do... right?
Another lurch. The chains binding what was buried deep down inside rattled, being pushed to their limits. A muffled voice roared against what Ilia was about to let happen.
Then Carmella's grip softened, and the chameleon girl felt the other faunus begin to pull away. The warmth the embrace had brought was instantly replaced with a coldness that chilled Ilia to the bone.
She felt Carm's fingers trail down her arm as she pulled away, tingling every one of the spotted girls nerves as they passed, until they got to Ilia's hand, where they offered one last squeeze at the end of her own fingertips.
And then... Carmella offered one more sad smile, and she turned away...
... And...
That was it.
It was done.
Carmella would walk away, onto the Pride, and out of Ilia's life.
For a long time, the chameleon girl would remain there, watching as the boat escaped her sight on the horizon. Even after that, she was in such a trance she had to be practically dragged onto the transport back to Mistral.
Things would be hard after that for Ilia. For a long time. She'd feel lost, empty. Days would pass like months. Sleep would be next to impossible as the weight of her choice nearly crushed her spirit entirely.
Fortunately, work with the New Brotherhood would keep her busy, kept her focused, Ilia would pour herself into keeping up the goodwill the faunus has gained at the Battle for Haven.
Having Kali and Ghira there would help a great deal too. They would keep her grounded, especially when her thoughts would turn to the long eared faunus she'd pushed away. Blake's parents would comfort her in those dark moments.
Eventually she'd hear from Carmella again. Years from that day. Once the CCT was finally repaired. It would be awkward at first, but eventually their video chats would allow the pair to slip into old habits. Carmella would excitedly tell Ilia about her work with Menagerie's guard, how amazing she was doing on her own. The chameleon girl would take solace in those moments, it was proof to her that she'd done the thing. She'd smile back, tell Carmella how proud she was, and meaning it, mostly.
Ilia would know her own smiles weren't genuine, that as "right" as her choice had been, it'd still hurt her in ways that'd never fully healed. If Carmella ever noticed any of this, she'd never said anything.
The two made several promises as years passed to visit one another, but it never happened. The timing was never right, plus Ilia just couldn't bring herself to see Carmella in person...
... especially after the rabbit girl had shown her the ring.
Really, she shouldn't have been surprised. Of course Carmella found someone else. It had been years by that point. She'd moved on. She was happy.
Ilia, however...
The moment the word "engaged" came out of the rabbit girls mouth, all the pain the spotted faunus had plastered over exploded back out.
She still never said anything though. She just kept smiling. Even when Carmella's fiancé joined their video chats. She was happy for them. Really. But as soon as Ilia was sent the invitation to the wedding, she immediately deleted it without a second thought.
She was too busy. There was too much work to do. Kali and Ghira had both retired by that time. Now Ilia was basically running the New Brotherhood herself. A tough job, but it kept her busy. The plight of the faunus was all she really had at that point.
She... never was with anyone else. Too much work to do. That was what she told herself anyway. More likely, Ilia was just afraid that she'd see Carmella's face in any others she tried to attach herself to. Her smile, her laugh, they still rang in Ilia's head, even after all this time.
The date for the wedding came and went. Of course Carmella understood why Ilia couldn't make it. She had a lot of work to do. However, the time between their video chats started to get longer and longer. Going from once a week, to once a month, and eventually the two of them barely seemed to talk at all. They drifted apart. Like old friends often did.
Because that's all they were.
That's all Ilia had allowed them to be.
Because she was heroic, selfless, and brave enough to do the "right" thing.
This was the ending she'd chosen. This was what she'd wanted...
...Wasn't it?...
Well, by that point, it hardly seemed to matter anymore. She'd made her choice, and this was how there story ends...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A/N- Weren't expecting that, were you?
Ending are hard. But at twenty-five chapters, I think we all can agree it was just time to wrap things up here.
I'm sure at least one of the two people that read this are pretty upset with my choice here, but I think it makes a lot of sense when you think about it from an artsy, fartsy, kind of way.
I mean, who reads big, fluffy romance stories nowadays anyway? It's all about that angst, baby! Hurt me, make me feel things, bad things, on the inside. That's what the people want. Am I right? Yeah, I know I am.
There's just no room in life for happy endings, or at the very least, they aren't very realistic. And when it comes right down to it, that's what I think this ending is; realistic. I mean, you can't sit there and tell me that-
No.
Uhhh... wait wha-
NO!
X-xxXXxX-x...XXXXxxXXX-xxxxXXX...XxxxxXXx...XxX
As soon as Carmella's face turned away from her, the second her fingers let go of Ilia for what could very well be the last time, something inside the chameleon faunus snapped.
She didn't want that future that had just flashed through her head. That could not be the way their story ended.
The chains snapped, finally freeing that which Ilia had been trying so desperately to repress.
Like a bolt of lightning, a spot covered hand lashed out and grabbed at Carmella's, halting the rabbit girl mid-step.
The brunette spun her head around, her long ears pointing up straight in surprise. However, the sight that awaited her when she looked back was even more shocking.
Covered from head to toe in blue, with her spots having gone yellow, Ilia stared back at Carmella, tears already streaming down her face from her glittering cerulean eyes.
The muzzle was ripped off, thrown away, allowing its former wearer to finally speak the words that had been eating at her since last night.
"... Please..." Ilia said, her voice strained and cracking,
"Don't go..."
Two sets of ears, and Carmella was still sure she'd just misheard Ilia.
"W... what?" she asked staring wide eyed back at the chameleon girl, whose grip on her hand hadn't loosened in the slightest.
A look of guilt seemed to wash over Ilia as she looked to the side. She closed her eyes as she felt a sting of regret in her heart, but it was too late to take it back, too late to try and hide this anymore.
"I... I need you..." Ilia croaked out.
Carmella's breath caught in her throat, her own eyes staring to tear up, going wide as she stared at the chameleon faunus before her.
Then it hit her. A tidal wave of repressed feelings and emotions came rushing out of Ilia, flooding into the rabbit girl, making her head spin.
It was... so much. Fear, sadness, longing, guilt, gallons of it, almost too much to take.
This was why Ilia severed the link between them. She hadn't wanted Carmella to know her true feelings, that she wanted the rabbit eared girl to stay.
That she "needed" her...
It was everything Carmella had ever wanted to hear since first meeting the spotted faunus.
... but it was too late...
... wasn't it?...
I mean... the boat was here. Waiting for her. To take Carmella back home, back to her family, back to her boring old run of the mill life. She couldn't just... not go back, not at this point at least... right?
And what about Mata? She couldn't just leave him.
Sure, all the things Carm wanted in life were here in Mistral. Adventure, a chance to fight for other people, the New Brotherhood, and of course, Ilia.
Yeah, she cared about that stuff- Ilia especially- but was she really willing to just give everything else up to-
"Okay."
The word that suddenly escaped Carmella's lips surprised both faunus.
Ilia's skin and spots shifted from blue to white. The rabbit girl on the other hand had to settle for a shocked look on her face in response to her own reply.
"... Y-you... W-what?" the chameleon girl sputtered out as color slowly returned to her body.
"I'm staying."
Again, her own words almost seemed to catch Carmella off guard. This sudden wave of conviction was not something she was used to feeling. But this was what she wanted. What she'd wanted all along, if she was finally being honest with herself, and it was only thanks to Ilia finally choosing to be honest with her first that she'd been able to take such a step. Her mind was made up. There was quite literally no going back for Carmella at this point.
A quiet laugh escaped the rabbit girl, as a smile spread across her face, accompanied by a few stray tears.
"I'm staying," Carm repeated, mainly for herself, to confirm her own choice, a hint of a giggle sneaking into her words.
It was like a switch flipped inside the rabbit girl, her laughter growing, a sense of giddiness filling her up entirely, and suddenly it was like she couldn't control herself and she pulled Ilia towards her by the hand the chameleon girl still hadn't let go of. She wrapped her arms tightly around the other faunus as she continued to giggle uncontrollably, even more tears beginning to flow.
For a moment, Ilia didn't return the embrace, still recovering from her own shock at the sudden and drastic decision the rabbit girl who was currently half laughing, half sobbing over her shoulder had made. It didn't last long though, and almost instinctively at this point, the chameleon faunus' own arms slowly began embracing Carmella as well. Then came her own tears. The feeling of relief at finally saying something she'd kept crammed down deep inside herself was like taking off a mountain sized boulder that had been strapped to her back. Without its weight holding her down, it almost felt like Ilia was flying.
... almost...
Because as good as she felt right now, there was a tiny seed of something in the back of the chameleon girls mind, and it was quickly sprouting, taking root there, and it was whispering one word;
Selfish...
Carmella was completely unaware of this however. She was far too inebriated on her own sense of weightlessness and freedom at her choice to really get a sense of the other girls deeper feelings. She pulled herself out of the embrace with the chameleon faunus', still holding her by the shoulders.
"Sorry about that. Couldn't resist," she said, and smiled at Ilia, who- despite her growing inner turmoil- couldn't resist a genuine, tear-filled, smile in return.
The moment was breathtaking for both girls. However Carmella thoughts couldn't help but wander back to her family on Menagerie. This choice was a big one, to put it lightly. She'd be more or less disappearing from their lives, maybe forever, and with the CCT still down, there was no way for her to really let them know the strong feelings she felt that had allowed her to make such a decision. Carm wished there was some way to let them know she-
Oh. Wait.
The rabbit girls hand shot into her pocket, her fingers touching a familiar feeling, crumpled piece of stationary she'd stuffed there. Carmella was so glad she hadn't thrown it away now. The explanation of her thoughts and feelings about this matter had already been documented, ready to be sent to her parents, all she needed to do was send it on it's way.
The rabbit faunus took her hands off Ilia and went to turn away from the other girl, but suddenly felt the spotted teen's fingertips clench into her own shoulders for about half a second. Carmella stopped, turning back in time to see a panicked expression flicker away from the chameleon girls features, turning to shame and regret once they were facing one another again.
"Hey..." Carm said softly, eyes full of understanding as she reached up and cupped Ilia's cheek in her hand. "I'm not going anywhere, there's just something I need to do before they leave."
The rabbit girl punctuated her statement with a gently caressing of her thumb across the other faunus' cheek. Instantly Ilia's spots went pink, and her grief stricken expression softened into a bashful smirk. She nodded, relinquishing her grip on Carmella, and the long eared faunus was able to fully turn away.
A few feet away from the emotional pair stood Mata, one hand on his hip, and a knowing smile on his face. He'd seen and heard the whole thing, and knew what was coming next. There was a certain sense of melancholy in his chest as he watched the ambitious, sometimes scatterbrained, rabbit girl he'd known most of his life scurry over to him. He knew we're his friends heart laid, he had for a while now if he was honest, and it wasn't just with the chameleon girl she couldn't stop gushing over every time the two of them had talked during this trip. It was here, in Mistral, helping her kind anyway she could, and everyone else along the way. This kind of life had always been Carmella's goal, and the only person holding her back from it was herself. That was a thing of the past now though, and Mata couldn't be more proud, even if he would miss the hell out of his best friend.
Skidding to a stop before him, with a beaten up looking piece of parchment in her hands, Carmella opened her mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off by the giant of a ram faunus' muscular arms scooping her up and lifting over off the ground with a crushing embrace. He made sure to put all his emotion into it, in order to make it clear just how much he was going to miss Carmella.
A few moments into the hug, Mata felt a small, but frantic and insistent, tapping on his forearm. It was Carmella of course, her pained expression and complexion reminding the strong ram faunus of his friends bodies need for oxygen.
"Sorry!" Mata exclaimed as he quickly relinquished his hold, gently returning the rabbit eared girl to the ground.
Carm took in a mouthful of precious air as she was released, while also rubbing at her sore ribs from the overly enthusiastic grip of her friend. The two of them shared an awkward smile, which quickly melted into a matching set of sad ones. Then it was Carmella's turn to pounce, as she leapt up and wrapped her arms around the giant faunus' shoulders. Without missing a beat, the horned boy wrapped his arms around Carmella again, this time with a bit more restraint.
"I love you, Mata..."
"You too, Carm."
The rabbit girl hung silently from around Mata's neck for a bit, holding him tightly, before eventually letting go, with the larger faunus gently lowering her to her feet.
The two shared another long, melancholy look, before Carmella folded up the piece of paper in her hands and held it out to Mata.
"Do you mind" She asked, "I'm kinda worried my dad will do something crazy if I just disappear on everyone without a word. I wouldn't put it past him to come running all the way to Mistral to come after me, and I mean the 'running' part literally, like, across the entire ocean and everything, propelled nothing but his own paternal instincts and his rage at me for leaving."
Mata laughed, but even that hurt as it only served to remind him even more of just how much he'd miss Carmella. He took the note, not even considering opening it to see what his friend had written. That was between her and her family.
"I'll take care of it," The ram faunus said as he stored the letter away in his back pocket for safe keeping. "But you do realize that all that 'fatherly nature' of his will be directed at me for this, right?" Mata joked.
"Yeah..." Carmella replied dejectedly, looking down at the ground. "Sorry..."
"No, no, it's okay, really," The ram faunus quickly fired back, trying to course correct. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to think he didn't support her decision. "I can handle him, don't worry."
Carmella lifted her head, she still didn't look convinced, so Mata put a hand on the shorter teens shoulder to try and put her mind at ease.
"You're an amazing person, Carmella Lindt," the horned faunus stated, plain as day, with clear adoration in his voice. "And it's time for you to share that with the rest of the world."
That got a genuine smile out of Carmella, her eyes tearing up in a way that had Mata's doing the same.
One last foghorn blared. The final boarding call for the passengers destined for Menagerie. The taller of the two faunus turned to look back at the boat. He really needed to be going, but first...
"Here," Mata said handing Carmella a handful of lien cards he'd pulled from his pocket.
The rabbit girls eyes practically popped out of her head at the sight of so much money being casually passed on to her.
"M-Mata! I can't just take-"
"Carmella," The ram boy cut in sternly, "How long do you think that one weeks worth of supplies you brought with you is going to last?"
The rabbit faunus' face fell. She blinked a few times as the realization set in.
Mata just smiled. "Please, take it. It'll make me feel better at least, and your dad will probably appreciate me not leaving you here with just the clothes on your back too. So do it for his sake and mine, okay?"
Carmella sheepishly took the lien, but not without clear hesitation. "Thank you," she said as she pocketed the cards.
The two shared one final embrace, before Mata turned and hurried over to the ship, crossing the gangplank just as it was pulled away, really cutting things close. Carmella watched as the ship slowly began to pull away from the docks. Her ram horned friend stayed on the decks of the Pride as its engines took it further and further away. He waved the entire time, and Carm waved back, continuing to do so until Mata was nothing but a speck on the horizon, and then he was gone. That was about the time the reality of the situation finally set in.
She'd really done it. The ship was gone. Her ride home had just left without her on it. In that one moment, Carmella felt her whole life switch tracks... or had it just gone off the rails completely? Time would tell, she supposed.
With an- admittedly shaky- breath, Carm turned away from the sea. Her nerves were still a mess, and there were about a million thoughts and doubts running wild in her head, but she'd made her decision, and now it was time to do something with it.
Waiting for her, right where Carmella had left her, was Ilia. She looked about as bewildered as the rabbit girl herself at what had just happened. She stared at Carm with wide open eyes, her mouth slightly agape, like she couldn't believe her long eared friend was still here, like at any moment the brunette faunus was going to disappear before her, fading into the wind like she was made of dust. Because this had to be a dream. There was no way this was real. No way Carmella had chosen to stay. No way she'd chosen Ilia over her home. Why would she? Why would anyone?
And yet, the mirage of a rabbit girl walked over to the spotted faunus, and Ilia felt the other teens fingers entwine with her own, and suddenly the chameleon girl became unable to deny just how real this was.
The rabbit faunus smiled at Ilia excitedly, and why wouldn't she be excited? The two of them finally had time again, the only thing the two of them had ever wanted since it was taken away from them only hours ago.
And of course Ilia was happy too, but for some reason couldn't bring herself to reciprocate the look of joy on her friends face this time, not even just to satisfy the other girl. Because there was still a part of Ilia that couldn't let her enjoy this moment, the dark thoughts that had taken root were finally beginning to sprout.
Selfish.
You took her from her family.
If she never sees them again, that's your fault.
If Carmella was at all aware of the chameleon faunus' growing inner turmoil, she didn't show it. Instead, she wrapped an arm around the other girl, holding her close against her side, and the rabbit eared teen began guiding Ilia... somewhere.
Even with her own self-deprecating thoughts clouding her mind, Ilia couldn't help but be aware of her heart beginning to race at the sudden proximity. She could feel Carmella's aura- her soul- beginning to tentatively test their connection again, and by now, the chameleon girl was too exhausted to resist. The rabbit faunus' emotions felt like a ray of sunshine breaking through layers and layers of caked on drywall, giving life to Ilia's gloom filled insides.
Gods, it felt amazing. Cutting herself off from Carmella had been akin to Ilia denying herself food or water. It was completely intoxicating, and the spotted girl couldn't help but gorge herself on those positive feelings. Which, while nice, really only served to add fuel to Ilia's own disgust with herself over holding her friend back in Mistral.
Ilia turned to look at the rabbit girl at her side, but again, Carmella's look betrayed nothing. She was looking straight ahead with a warm and friendly smile seemingly permanently etched on her face as she continued to guide the two of them.
Ilia was so absorbed in studying the other girls features, she didn't even notice her surroundings changed. The warmth of the sun shining at the docks, and the light breeze in the air were both suddenly gone, replaced with the bland, gunmetal gray interior of one of the transports that had brought the pair- and the rest of the faunus, as well as those that had protected them- to the docks. Ilia had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she hadn't even noticed Carmella helping her up the steps leading into the truck.
Both girls took a seat near the back of the the transport, even though the entire cabin was still empty. Carmella stowed away her luggage- which again, Ilia had been too deep in her own head to have even noticed the other faunus grabbing- before bucking herself in right next to the chameleon girl. Then she went right back into position, taking the other girls hand in her own and gently leaning her shoulder against hers.
No words were exchanged between them still, and Ilia was beginning to find the silence unnerving. She would have probably been more annoyed by it if that wouldn't have made her a monumental hypocrite. After all, what right did she gave to be upset at someone for not sharing what was on their mind?
Huh... So this is what that feels like... Ilia thought to herself. Sure enough, turns out it didn't feel great to be on this side of that kind of emotional wall. As if the chameleon faunus needed another reason to feel guilty.
Regardless, it was clear she wasn't getting anything out of Carmella for now, so the two continued to sit in silence for a while, waiting for the transport to start up to return to Mistral with those that hadn't boarded the Pride.
At one point while they were waiting, Sun appeared in the doorway of the truck, but stopped as soon as he saw Ilia and Carmella sitting basically huddled together in the back. He and Ilia locked eyes, and the monkey faunus just smiled and gave a quick nod, before immediately turning around and exiting the vehicle. As soon as he went to leave however, Neptune popped in behind him, but just as the smooth, well-practiced smile appeared on the blue haired teen face- directed at Ilia- Sun reached in from outside, grabbed his teammate by the collar, and yanked him out as well.
Not long after, the hatch-like door on the transport was closed and the muffled rumbling of the engines started up again, and the convoy began is trip back into the kingdom. No one else had gotten into the truck with Carmella and Ilia, so the pair still had the entire cabin to themselves, which was good in some ways, but also not so good in others, considering the little ball of anxieties and insecurities the chameleon girl had tucked herself into.
The entire trip, Ilia couldn't help but keep stealing glances at the rabbit faunus sitting next to her. Like she had to keep reminding herself that this was all really happening. The events of this morning felt like a fever dream to the spotted girl.
Eventually, all the unnecessary staring caught Carmella attention, not that Ilia was being very subtle about it. Their gazes met and locked onto one another, the rabbit faunus giving Ilia a small, cautious smile.
"So... Now that we're alone..." Carm said, fidgeting in her seat a little, "do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
Ilia let out a quick huff of relief. So that's why Carmella has been so uncharacteristically quiet up until now. She knew the spotted faunus still wasn't great at this kind stuff, and wanted to give the reserved girl the benefit of some privacy before getting into this. Carm knew her way too well.
You really don't deserve her...
"...I mean, back at the docks, when you asked me to stay," Carmella continued, "that was probably the happiest of I've ever been," the rabbit girl smiled widely, but it quickly dissolved into a disheartened look, "but... you obviously feel differently."
The chameleon suddenly found it difficult to meet the other faunus' gaze. This was what she'd said she wanted back when the two of them had first discovered Carmella's semblance, right? That it'd be "good" for her to have someone in her life that she couldn't hide her emotions from. However, now that such a moment was finally here, Ilia could confirm that "good" wasn't exactly the word she'd used to describe the situation, a more fitting one would be: "hard."
Then again, maybe that was what made it "good." The chameleon faunus had said she'd wanted to change, and she'd made a promise to Carmella to try, and if the spotted girl had learned one thing in her life, it was that if something seemed difficult, then that usually meant it was worth doing.
But where was she supposed to even start? They don't exactly make greeting cards that say; Sorry I ruined your life by separating you from your friends and family for an undetermined period of time, but I was really, really sad, so that makes it okay, right? Anyway, want to go practice fighting in the woods some more?
Those earlier dark thoughts had all but taken over Ilia's mind, their thick vines and roots spreading throughout her, filling her chest with an agonizing tightness. She'd failed. She'd let her selfishness win, and now Carmella was stuck in Mistral, thousands of miles away from home. How was she supposed to live with that?
"I... I..." Ilia managed to force out the single letter word through the vice gripping around her heart. Carmella watched her expectantly, but patiently, being sure to give the other faunus the chance to organize her own thoughts.
She's too good for you...
Maybe it wasn't too late? There was a chance that Ilia hadn't completely ruined Carmella's life, just derailed it momentarily. Maybe she could still make it right?
"Carmella..." the chameleon girl finally got out the other faunus' name, before her gaze dropped to the floor. She could do this, she'd done it before, less than an hour ago. She had to fix things. "... You don't have to do this, you know?"
The rabbit girls long ears swayed slightly as the cocked her head in confusion at Ilia's statement, one of them bending at around the midpoint.
"I-it's not too late! We can go back, we can ask them to turn the truck around." Ilia managed to raise her head as she found the last remaining drips of her conviction. "W-we can find out when the next boats going to Menagerie and buy you a ticket, I'll even pay! I swear!"
The confusion on Carmella's face had grown to a new level as she took in her friends desperate, pleading expression.
"I thought..." Carm began, her voice cracking slightly, "I thought you wanted me to stay...?"
The hurt in the other girls tone was like a wrecking ball, hitting Ilia square in the chest, and just like that, those final bits of resolve she'd built were obliterated, like a house made of sticks in a hurricane.
"N-no! It's not that, I just- I just-" the pony-tailed girl was clearly floundering now. "Just... Just... please..."
However, it's often in desperation that people find the courage to disclose their true feelings.
"... Please don't let me hold you back..."
There it was.
For a moment, all Carmella could do was stare at the other faunus, as the crux on the issue was finally revealed to her. Ilia was too overwhelmed to have noticed, but her entire body had gone blue again, with those same bits of yellow sneaking through in her spots and eyes. It was a familiar sight to Carm, she'd seen the same display moments ago when the chameleon girl had asked her stay.
Oh... oh Ilia...
This girl, what was Carmella going to do with her?
That was why Ilia had been pushing her away, closing herself from Carm physically and emotionally. It wasn't that she didn't want the rabbit girl around, it was that she did, but couldn't bring herself to do it. The chameleon faunus saw herself as an anchor, and it was Carmella's fault she felt that way.
She was an adult. Choosing to stay in Mistral, to join the New Brotherhood, that had been her decision to make, but instead she'd forced it onto Ilia. It might've been subconsciously, but regardless, Carmella had placed the burden of the choice squarely on the spotted girls shoulders, waiting for Ilia to say things like she 'wanted her to stay.'
There was a sudden realization in Carmella at that thought. She'd always been waiting for 'permission' from other people for every choice in her life.
With her parents back home, she'd been so desperate for their permission and approval when it came to the lifestyle she dreamed of. They'd immediately shut down the idea of her ever attending a Huntsmen Academy on the mainland when she'd first brought it up as a child, and only through Carmella's constant pestering had they chosen to compromise with her joining Menagerie's guard. That hadn't been what the rabbit girl wanted, but she's always figured that was the "best" she'd ever do, because that's all her parents would "allow."
It was the same way with every other authoritative figure in Carmella's life, she'd let their own thoughts and opinions hold her back, even when it came to choices that didn't even involve them. No wonder Ilia had been such a mess all morning, it wasn't her choice to begin with, but Carm had let her feel like it was.
Well that all ended today. Carmella Lindt was done waiting for permission from others to start her own life, because it wouldn't truly begin until she decided to start it.
"Ilia," Carm said, finally replying to the other teens confession of guilt, "you still believe in me, right?"
The still blue faced chameleon girl blinked a couple times in confusion. "Wha... what?"
"What you told me that day in the woods, after you gave me Carrot Stix," Carmella clarified, "that hasn't changed, has it?"
"N-no," Ilia answered. Despite her stutter from her still very emotional state, it was clear she meant her response.
A smirk flashed across Carmella's face at that, before it returned to its serious state. The rabbit girl took a deep breath before continuing,
"Then I need for you to respect that I made decision for myself. Not because of you- or anyone else- forcing me, okay? This is what I want, it's my choice, mine. You are not responsible for it, and you definitely aren't to blame for it. No matter what happens as a result of this, it's not your fault, and it never will be."
The way Carmella was speaking, the composure and sternness in her tone, Ilia had never heard her friend sound like that in the short time they'd known each other.
But... 'Not her fault?' That didn't sound right to Ilia. Everything was her fault, always, or at least, that's what that little voice in the back of her head seemed to think.
...
Yeah, okay, listening to herself put that thought together, it did sound a little far fetched, not to mention next to impossible, but-
... But what exactly?
Carmella was one hundred percent completely right here. This had never been Ilia's choice to make. Granted it may have taken the chameleon girl finally being honest for it to happen, but that didn't change the fact that Carm had chosen, and for Ilia to deny that choice or try to change it... well, if nothing else, that seemed especially selfish of her.
Ilia waited for that little voice in her head to speak up again, to tell her how wrong she was, but it was quiet now, and only the chameleon girls own un-intrusive thoughts remained.
"Okay," Ilia said, looking straight on into those beautiful pools of gold that made up Carmella's eyes.
She suddenly felt that seemingly infinite pool of guilt inside herself start to drain a little. Why would she feel guilty? Especially when it wasn't her choice to make. She had no control over Carmella's life, but the one thing she could do was honor this choice her friend had made. Stand by Carm and ensure that she was able to ride out this path her dream created to it's full extent.
The mismatched blue and yellows began to drain away from Ilia's complexion as well, and the chameleon girl took the first relaxed breath she had all morning.
Carmella smiled, before reaching up to Ilia's face and holding her cheek in her hand. She delicately used her thumb to wipe away a tear as it rolled down the other girls spot covered cheek. Then, as the long eared faunus began to pull away, Ilia's own hand shot up and took Carm's, pressing it back against her cheek, closing her eyes and nuzzling her face against it for a moment.
She looked back at Carmella, silently asking if this was okay, if it was okay for her to be selfi- to have the things she wanted... the things she needed... every once in a while, anyway.
The rabbit girl looked back, a clear blush on her face, but she continued to smile as she rubbed her thumb across the spots on the other faunus' cheek again, and then again. Ilia hoped it would never stop. That was unfortunately unrealistic to expect, and soon enough, Carmella retracted her hand, and Ilia offered no resistance. It had been nice while it lasted.
However, to the spotted faunus' extreme surprise, when Carmella returned to a normal sitting position, she suddenly leaned to the side, laying her head into Ilia's shoulder and working the other faunus' arm around her body..
All the spots- and most of the skin- on Ilia's body lit up pink at the affectionate display. The rabbit girls long ears brushed up against the side of her face, then bent slightly so as to not be in the way, as Carm got comfy.
"I think I'm gonna get some rest on the ride back," Carmella muttered, exhaustion already evident in her voice. "Wake me if anymore blood-thirsty monsters decide they're stupid enough to want to try anything, okay?"
Ilia had no response to this, but once the initial surprise faded, and the rabbit faunus' breathing fell into a peaceful rhythm, she figured she'd missed her chance.
She also became acutely aware of her own tiredness. This day had been an exhausting one, in all possible ways, and it wasn't even noon yet!
So the spotted girl let out a sigh, filled with a contentment she hadn't known before in her entire life, and laid her own head down on top Carmella's and closed her eyes.
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A/N- Hopefully I managed to get a few of you with my perhaps mean spirited trick here. It's a prank I could only have played on this website, in this format I've set up for chapters.
So yeah, crisis averted, and the status quo has been reestablished. Now things can go back to normal. Yup, totally zero repercussions from all these long repressed feelings making it out into the open. I can't imagine anything exciting or world changing happening in the next chapter or anything.
Better unfollow, unlike, and unreview (I don't care if it's not a word, make it happen!) because nothing of importance is going to happen at all.
... Unless...