Chapter 104
Non qui parum habet, sed qui plus cupit, pauper est
"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor"

""We accept the love we think we deserve."
—The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Inuyasha was not going to complain at all—about anything that was currently happening.

Because he was cuddling Kagome, who was warm and safe, and curled up against him, and honestly? Best fucking way he could've spent the evening. He didn't even care that she wasn't giving him the same attention that she was giving her school work.

Kagome hummed a bit when Shippo curled up in her lap, and she ran her fingers through his hair.

But he could feel her sagging more and more as the night wore on, and he carefully let go of her hand to begin piling her books up into a pile so he could pack them away.

"What're you doing? I was working on those," she mumbled.

"You're about to fall asleep," he said, continuing to stack the books off towards the direction of her bag. "You don't need to work on anything else."

Kagome whined as he pulled her workbooks off to the side.

"I need to work though. I'm so far behind."

"You're going to drool all over them if you keep working."

"I am not! I do not drool!"

Inuyasha opted to not say anything, and she turned her head to look at him.

"I do not drool!"

"I never said you did."

She narrowed her eyes at him as he stared down at her.

"Well, you didn't say that I didn't drool either."

He didn't say anything in response and merely stared at her as she huffed at him in annoyance, yawning behind her hands a moment later.

"Okay, fine. I'll put them up." She reached for her bag, her fingers barely grasping the straps, and he leaned over dragging it next to his leg.

She glanced up at him.

"Thanks," she spoke softly, and he held the bag open for her to put her books inside.

Once she'd put them inside, he shoved it away and then moved back from where he sat so that he could pick her up, blanket and all, and move her to the sleeping bag.

"Goodnight, Kagome," Miroku sang and Inuyasha glared at the monk who was far too happy, and he could feel the gears turning in the monk's head from where he stood.

"Hey Kirara," Inuyasha called, not breaking eye contact with Miroku, and he grinned as Miroku's face dropped and Kirara trilled in clear interest.

"Don't you dare."

"Miroku's hiding your toy behind his back."

A low growl came from behind him.

"Kirara, no," Miroku warned as Inuyasha walked over to the sleeping bag, and Miroku yelped behind him.

"Why are you so mean?" Miroku whined.

"Are you talking to Inuyasha or Kirara?" Sango asked him.

"Both!" He whined.

Kagome poked him in the throat.

"What?" He asked.

"You should apologize," she told him quietly. "That was a little mean."

He scoffed to her as he set her down on the sleeping bag.

"You obviously haven't been paying attention," he muttered, because like fuck was he going to apologize to the monk at this rate.

Monk deserved what he got.

He pulled the flap back over her, attempting to tuck her in even though she refused to lie down properly. It wasn't like he could just push her back down or something. So all he could do was huff and look annoyed at her.

Gentle fingers ran across his cheeks, and he leaned into the soft warmth from her skin, bracing himself on his hands.

"Hey, be nice," she said, and he let out a sharp breath through his nose.

"I'm not nice," he mumbled, and her thumbs traced the edge of his cheeks.

"You're nice to me," she said, and she was fucking right.

He was nice to her. He was always nice to her, because she deserved it. Everyone else was rude and mean, and she was the first really nice thing that he'd had in forever.

So fuck him sideways if he wanted to keep her all to himself for a little bit.

"Fine, but I'm not nice to everyone else."

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Go to bed," he ordered, hoping she would listen before he did something stupid and irreversible.

Kagome smiled withdrawing her hands, and he fought the urge to follow them.

She didn't ask him to stay, and he was too afraid to offer.

Because he wanted her to ask him to stay. He wanted her to want him to stay. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay with her forever.

But she didn't ask, and he didn't offer. So instead, he forcibly pulled himself away from her, dragging himself away from the sleeping bag and her.

He moved away slowly, giving her every opportunity to tell him to stay, to ask him to make sure that she was warm and safe.

He could sit against a wall.

He could sleep there.

It wasn't like he was used to sleeping on the floor next to a warm body.

It would be fine.

She would be fine.

Clearly.

Because she didn't need him.

His ears flattened against his head as he watched as Kagome settled in with just enough space behind her that he could lay down, if he wanted to—if she wanted him to.

But she clearly didn't because she wasn't asking, and he wasn't going to assume that she needed him.

So he backed away until he was back at the fire pit.

"Why the sad ears?" Miroku asked, keeping his voice low.

"Shut up," Inuyasha muttered.

"Why aren't you with Kagome?" Sango asked.

"Shut up," Inuyasha added with a glare.

"Oh, I see," Miroku commented with that dumbass grin starting across his face.

"You see what?"

"Miroku, don't."

"Why does everyone always assume the worst when it comes to me?"

Three separate people turned towards the monk with an exasperated look.

"If you're not going to sleep with Kagome, then I am," Shippo announced, starting towards the sleeping bag.

"Like fuck you are!" Inuyasha hissed, grabbing his tail and tugging him back. "No one's sleeping with Kagome unless—unless she asks them to!"

"Oh for the love of—Kagome, you look a little cold," Sango called out.

"It's okay. I'll warm up eventually," Kagome murmured, scooching further down into her bag.

Inuyasha tossed Shippo behind him, rising to his feet.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked, moving towards her sleeping bag.

"Oh, it was just really early to be going to sleep, and I thought—"

"You thought dumb is what you did," Inuyasha told her, settling in to stretch out beside her. "Being cold is just going to make you hurt more."

He pressed himself in close, letting her use his arm as a pillow, even though he was the one shoving it underneath her head.

She didn't complain or push him away though. Instead, she pressed herself as close as she could possibly get with the sleeping bag between them as a barrier.

Maybe one day, he'd have the gumption to keep her warm underneath the bag too.

But that was another day and another time. And he didn't have the strength to say something about it right now.

And it really didn't matter because she let him be here with her and keep her warm and no one else had that privilege, so he was perfectly fine and content to be a sleeping sack warmer.

Because he loved her. Plain and simple.

And he'd be whatever she needed him to be.

As long as she let him stay in her life.

He inhaled, burying his face in her hair as he felt the tenseness in her body slowly dissipate.

Idiot.

Should've said that she was cold sooner.

Wasn't like he had anything to say to anyone else.

He wagered a glance up to the rest of the group, and Miroku merely smiled and waved.

Inuyasha threw him the middle finger of the hand that was resting on Kagome's head.

"They should really just kiss already," Shippo muttered under his breath as he curled up on Sango's lap.

Inuyasha narrowed a sharp glare at the kit, who promptly turned his back to him, flicking his tail.

Fuck every single one of them.

He didn't need friends.

He had Kagome.

She'd make enough friends for them both.

A hard rattle brought Inuyasha out of his dozing. Miroku had put up wards to keep things out, and he lifted his head slightly to look. Nothing else happened, but there was a long silence the seemed—ominous.

Inuyasha snuck a glance at the others. Kirara was standing, two feet propping her up on Sango's hip as she stared at the door.

Shit.

He knew it was all too good to be true.

He strained to hear anything, but it was just eerily quiet.

Kagome shifted in her sleep, face crinkling a little as she moved, huffing gently as she drifted back off.

Kirara's ears flicked, and she too curled back up against Sango.

Inuyasha settled a bit more too, but he kept himself close to Kagome and with his eyes on the door.

His arm slid around her back, keeping her body pressed close to his. Just in case they needed to move quickly.

Because he wasn't going to be caught by surprise if he could help it.

Inuyasha relaxed when light started drifting through the cracks in the door and the windows.

Nothing else had happened.

Maybe it had been nothing from the very beginning.

A hanyou could hope, couldn't he?

He dragged in a long breath and let it out through his nose. Kagome was asleep, and she was content and comfortable, and that made him happy.

If she was happy and content, then he was happy and content.

But they were going to have to leave soon, and that meant taking her outside again, and if they had to sleep in the open, what was he going to do?

It wasn't like he could just hoist her up into a tree and sleep on him.

He paused as his thought paced back and forth in his head.

Well, there was nothing stopping him, and having her sprawl out across him sounded fucking heavenly.

He would make sure that she was warm, and trees were definitely safer than the ground.

He wouldn't even need sleep until they got back to Kaede's. Honestly, it was for Kagome's betterment and safety.

It was a good solid plan.

One that would keep her safe.

His getting to hold her the entire night was just an added bonus.

Kagome made a noise in the back of her throat as she shifted in her sleep, pressing her nose to his collarbone.

Yep. He was fucking doomed.

Because any sort of life that didn't involve this, was going to be a shell of an existence.

He'd been called a lapdog by several different youkai—including his brother—but they didn't even fucking know how nice it was.

Having regular meals that he rarely had to fight for?

Getting to sleep next to someone who actually liked him?

Getting to just fucking sleep? Without the fear of being murdered in the middle of the night?

A hanyou's dream life.

One that he still doubted he'd ever really get to have. Even now.

And he wanted it. He wanted it so bad. And he wanted it so bad with her.

Burying his nose into her hair, he tried to stifle the building ache in his heart.

He wanted so much, and the world always gave him so little.

He took a deep breath of her, holding it in his lungs like he was breathing in the smoking remnants of the life he dreamed of and for.

Exhaling slowly, he heard the monk stir in his blankets. He sat up, rubbing his face with his hand before standing, glancing over at Inuyasha with a dumbass smile on his face.

Inuyasha flipped him off with a seething glare, hoping that was enough to dislodge whatever happiness the monk was currently enjoying at his expense.

Miroku stood, walking quietly towards the door, pulled the ofuda, and walked outside.

They would have to leave soon, and while he wanted to go back to Kaede's, it was the 'getting there' that was a real problem.

He didn't like the getting there.

Letting his fingers drift her hair, he tried to calm himself. Remind himself that she was safe, and that he could keep it this way.

She had such faith in him, and he couldn't fathom why, because he'd done nothing but fail her at nearly every turn. And still, she believed in him and faulted him for none of it.

She forgave him, when she had no reason to.

He frowned as she wiggled a bit more, face scrunching as she clearly didn't want to wake up. He quickly pressed his lips to her forehead before she woke. He didn't know why he thought it was a big deal; he'd done it when she was awake before, but somehow, it just felt different—somehow more important when they were the way that they were.

Miroku slipped back inside, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Kagome let out a low groan as she woke, and Inuyasha repressed the snicker at her displeasure at being awake.

"No," she muttered, shifting to press her face into the tender space under his chin.

A half-laugh escaped him as he fought to keep it tamped down.

But it was clear that Kagome heard it, letting out a whine as his fingers carded gently through her hair.

Sango rose, stretching her arms over her head.

"Morning," she muttered, pushing herself up to her feet. She paused looking at Kagome's form that was clearly trying to hide inside of his throat. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he casually flicked a middle finger in her direction to which she only rolled her eyes at the motion and slipped outside.

"Shippo," Miroku called, quietly nudging the sleeping kitsune, who groaned, grabbed the edge of the blanket and rolled over a couple times, effectively making himself a cocoon.

Miroku sighed.

"You might as well get up. Sango will merely shake you free when she returns."

"Not with Kirara in here," Shippo mumbled.

"Kirara is in my blankets."

"Then go fold your blankets."

"I can't. Kirara's in there." There was a high pitched trill from Miroku's bed. "See?" Miroku prodded the bundle with his finger. "Come on, Shippo, we both know you might as well get up."

There was a muttering under his breath, but Shippo emerged from the blanket cocoon, glaring at the monk.

"See, not so bad," Miroku said, patting his shoulder, and Shippo just walked towards his blankets and collapsed next to Kirara.

Miroku began folding up the blanket, not bothering to tell Inuyasha or Kagome to wake up either. Once he was finished, he turned to his own blanket, before scowling at the two bodies curled up inside.

"That was not my intent and you know it, Shippo."

There was a soft muttering, but even Inuyasha couldn't hear what the runt was saying.

Miroku huffed.

"Fine, I will go see about our breakfast then."

He left just as Sango strode back inside, closing it behind her.

Inuyasha let the tips of his claws graze Kagome's cheeks, and she twisted towards him.

"We gotta get up if you want breakfast," he told her quietly.

"I'll stay," she muttered into his throat.

Yeah, okay, well that wasn't the way that was supposed to go.

"Okay, well, you need to eat breakfast, so you're gonna have to get up."

A long groaning whine came from her as she fought valiantly to not get up, and Inuyasha had to close his eyes and remind himself that she really did need to get up.

Why was she so fucking cute?

"You go. I'll eat later."

"That's not how this works."

"Please?" She whined.

"I'll let you ride me—my back, I mean—" He cleared his throat at the insinuation he'd inadvertently made. "All day."

He could only hope that she hadn't been paying close attention or didn't actually catch his mistake.

"Come on," he whispered, nudging her head with his nose.

There was a long sigh that rolled over his collarbone and chest like a slow humid wave.

"Fine," she muttered, and he grinned at winning despite himself. "But you're gonna carry me all day."

"Deal," he answered, because either way, Inuyasha was the winner in this bargain.

Just the way he liked it.

Kagome pulled away, and he fought the urge to trail her movements. Instead, he watched as she blinked in the brightness of the room, and he let her move his arms to give herself more space.

He didn't know how it was entirely possible that the well of emotions he felt her never seemed to run dry or even begin to tread its full depths. It seemed each time he'd thought that he'd reached the bottom or come close, there was another cavernous opening that proved him wrong.

She hadn't lifted her head from where it was pillowed on his arm, and he wasn't going to encourage the notion either.

Because he was a greedy little fucker too.

"Good morning, Kagome," Sango called, and Kagome twisted her head to look at Sango. "Do you need to step outside before we go to breakfast?"

Before she could answer, Miroku reappeared, closing the door behind him.

"Change of plans, the hosts have asked us to eat in the dining room."

Well, that was not ideal.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome, who had a blank look on her face.

"Kagome?" He asked. "You okay with eating out there?"

She looked up at him, blinking slowly before looking back at Miroku.

"Yeah," she said after a long moment. "Should be fine."

Inuyasha rested his hand on her back as he looked over at Miroku and Sango, who both had a similar look of concern flashing across their faces.

It was definitely weird.

"How about I help you change clothes?" Sango suggested, breaking the eerie quiet between them.

"Excellent, I will go let them know to set a table for us," Miroku said, leaning down to grab Shippo, who squawked, as he quickly exited the room.

"You good?" He asked her before he rose to his feet.

"Yeah," she said with a short nod. "I'm okay."

"I'll step outside then," he said slowly rising to his feet. "Call when you're ready."

Sango nodded, returning with some clothes as she took his place beside Kagome.

Part of him was concerned, but the other part was a little pissy that he couldn't help her himself.

He knew how to dress. He knew how to put clothes on. He could help just fine.

And it wasn't like he hadn't seen any of it before anyway.

He snorted as the women talked behind him, and after a long conversation about which shirt she should wear, Sango finally said that they were done, and he was able to turn around and face her.

Sango was folding her dirty clothes to pack away, and he knelt down beside Kagome.

"You ready to go?" He placed his hand on her back, waiting to hear a specific answer but also wanting to hear the truth.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a small smile as she looked up.

Sliding his hands under her knees and back, he lifted her up, and Sango led the way out to the dining room.

There was a set of eyes on them, and he felt her shrink down a bit at their stares.

"Say the word," he whispered as he set her down, "and we'll fuck outta here."

Kagome looked up at him, gently holding onto his sleeve.

"Sit by me?" She asked, and he scoffed at the idea that he'd sit anywhere else.

"Let them try and stop me," he muttered just loud enough so that she could hear him, and he watched a small smile break out on her face as their dishes were set down at their table.

She seemed to unwind just a little bit, and he reached over, scooping rice into a bowl for her and setting it down so she didn't have to reach. He did the same thing with the rest of her food, making sure that she had enough to eat.

"You're giving me too much," she whined.

"Tough," he scoffed at her. "Eat it."

She pouted up at him, and if she knew that this look in particular would work on him in a heartbeat, he was a doomed man. Because that look—and him being the cause of it—made him want to give her whatever she wanted to just not make that face anymore.

But soon enough—thankfully—she turned away and started eating.

He kept glancing around, waiting for something bad to happen or someone to say something, but no one did.

He ate his own food, keeping a close eye on Kagome as she ate slowly.

To be fair, he had given her a fair amount of food, probably too much for her to eat normally, but he wanted her to eat enough, because she hadn't been eating enough.

And that's how humans became sick.

And he was not risking her getting sick. Not again. Not ever if that was possible.

"Are you going to feel up for traveling today?" Miroku asked, clearly trying to make small talk exactly where and when it wasn't needed.

"I think so," she answered, and Inuyasha turned to look at her.

He didn't like that answer. He didn't like it at all.

"If you're not ready, then just say so," Inuyasha told her.

"I'm ready," she stated, and he turned his head to stare at her face. "I am. I am ready. We can go now if you want."

"Not until you're done with your breakfast," Inuyasha said, pointing at her rice bowl.

"You gave me too much food!"

"Eat it!"

"I'm going to throw up if I eat that much!"

"Fine," he picked up her bowl, dumped part of her rice into his bowl and then dumped part of the miso into his too. "Finish that and then we can go."

Kagome whined, but she picked up her food and continued eating.

It was enough for him.

Kagome finished her meal, and he'd slowed down to keep pace with her, allowing himself one final bite to finish after her own.

She set her bowl on the table, balancing the chopsticks on top, and then looked at him.

He set his bowls down as well.

"We're going to head back to the room," he announced to the table, and deftly picked her up and left.

He sat her on the floor as he rolled up her sleeping bag to put it away.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, and he looked at her, waiting for her to continue. Her eyes darted to the door leading outside, and he watched her visibly swallow.

He dropped the sleeping roll and put both hands on the side of her face.

"Nothing is going to happen to you or me, got it?"

She hesitated, but then gave him a singular slow nod.

Her face still looked like she wanted to say something, but the words weren't coming out.

"I'd rather have you, remember?"

Kagome's eyes watered, and her hands tugged him close as she broke out into a low sob.

There seemed to be nothing else that he could except offer the one real resource he had to give her: himself.

A/N: Happy Thursday!

If you're looking at this and going, "Huh, that's not up to par with her usual level of writing." You're right. I'm coming off a fever that put me to bed before 6pm yesterday, and I worked today (but I'm off tomorrow, yay🎉-also my teammates might have actually just banned me from school if I did show up). So this is my last post for November. I need a break and I have a really important meeting next week that I have to prepare for, and then it's the holidays.

I really hope that you enjoyed the chapter even though it was mostly InuKag cuddles and Inuyasha aggressively taking care of Kagome, and I hope that this tides you over until December.

Also, if you've reviewed and I haven't replied, it's honestly because FFN is not sending me any review notices or updates.

Until December.