Stepping into the shared ICU room, the nurse was not surprised to find Commander McGarrett still wide awake, the remote was no longer on the bedside table where she had left it, it now lay on the bed beside him. Stepping between the two beds, she sensed something was wrong, the Commander was staring at his partner who had his back to him in the other bed and there was a tension in the air that you could cut with a knife.
Looking towards Danny in the dim night light above Danny's bed, she noticed his oxygen mask laying discarded on the pillow. Stepping closer to his bed she could see that his breathing was shallow and a little uneven and glancing up at the monitor she sighed as she noted that his blood pressure was a little high before she studied the watched the green blip on the heart monitor as it raced across the screen. The tense, hunched shoulders and his rigid position in the bed, facing away from them, told her that he was also awake and obviously upset. She knew instantly that she had just walked into the middle of something going on between the two of them.
Turning to look back at the upset look on McGarrett's face, she asked softly, "Is everything okay in here?"
Steve nodded as he looked back at the nurse, "Everything's fine," he lied before he looked back at Danny, "We were just talking." Looking back at the nurse and the kidney tray that he knew probably contained a syringe full of something to sedate either himself or Danny, most likely himself, he pleaded softly, "Can you give us a couple of minutes?"
Glancing towards the rigid back of her still critically ill patient in the other bed before she returned her attention back to his partner, she gave a single curt nod, "Five minutes, Commander, and not a second more. Detective Williams needs to rest and so do you!"
"Five minutes, I promise." Steve promised solemnly, watching as the nurse turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Taking a deep shuddering breath as he built up the nerve to express his true feelings and to admit to Danny just how much Danny really meant to him and how much he didn't want to lose him, he sat up a little higher in the bed, ignoring his still tender stitches as he began softly, "You know, Danny, you're right, every time you called me a Neanderthal animal and told me that I was never held enough as a baby. Maybe if I acted on my feelings instead of charging full steam ahead and taking charge without thinking about what I was doing we wouldn't be having this conversation." Steve swallowed hard as he ran a shaking hand over his head as he admitted as he stared rigidly ahead, afraid to look across at Danny as he heard some movement from Danny's bed. "But I screwed up, Danny, I screwed everything up and I…I don't know how to fix it…how to fix…" He waved his hand between him and Danny as he continued, "I don't know how to fix things between us…you and me… I don't want to lose you Danny, and …and… I don't know what I can do or say to make you believe me or make you decide to stay except I'm sorry."
Shaking his head as a tear ran down his face, he looked down at his lap as he heard Clara's voice scream in his head again, 'You love him, don't you? Steven, I'm not blind. I see it in your eyes every time you look at him, and I see the same thing in Daniel's face every time he talks about you. I don't know if he realizes it or not but the last time I saw that look in his eyes was when he fell in love with Rachel. Have you told him yet how you feel about him? You know you should and soon, 'cause if you don't, Daniel is going to leave.' He forced himself to look aver at Danny's bed. He was not sure whether to be relieved or worried as he saw Danny roll partially over onto his back and appear to be listening to what he was saying. Taking a deep breath, his voice cracked as he admitted honestly, his fear, his desperation and his vulnerability coloring his voice "Look Danny, I don't know if you remember any of the conversations we have had here since you have been back in the ICU but I really need you to know one thing that isn't going to change no matter what you decide to do and that is that I love you Danny, and not just as a friend or a partner, no, you mean a lot more than that to me, even more than ohana. I really need you to believe me when I tell you that I love you, Danny Williams, with all my heart and I don't know what I would do if you decided to leave."