"You love … me?" Danny asked in surprise as he slowly rolled over to stare at McGarrett as he asked again, breathlessly, "You…love…me?"
Steve nodded his head as he turned to face Danny, hopeful that Danny was willing to listen, "Yeah, Danny, I do."
"You… love … me!" Danny glared at Steve, unable to find the strength or the will at the moment to accept or even believe Steve's apology, or Steve's claim that he loved him more than just friends or even ohana as the memory of the last thing that he could remember Steve say to him before he woke up a few minutes ago replayed ed in his head. 'I promise you Danny, give Charlie time and he is going to grow up and hate you just as much as I do.' He shook his head, almost in defeat, rolling back over to face the wall as he murmured over his shoulder. "Well you…have a…funny way…of showing it!" He sighed, closing his eyes as he added softly, "You know, Steven, … you…remind me…of…Rachel. She always… claims she … loves … me too, when… she wants…to be …forgiven."
Staring at Danny's back, Steve felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. "I know she does, Danny," he agreed softly. He had seen Rachel play with Danny's feelings for her over and over again, manipulating him with veiled promises that there could be something between them again, only to toss Danny aside again when she thought that she could get something more than Danny could offer her from Stan. She had toyed with both men's feelings for her and he hated seeing Danny struggle with the emotional aftermath of her behaviour. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to continue. "But the difference between Rachel and me is I really mean it, Danny, I really do love you!" He tried hard to ignore Danny's soft snort of disbelief as Danny pulled the sheet up over his shoulder.
"I always thought Catherine was the one and I was going to ask her to marry me the day she lied to me and told me that she was going back to Afghanistan. I had even bought the engagement ring and was going to propose that night." Shaking his head as he looked back down at the sheet that covered his legs, he softly admitted for the first time, even consciously to himself, out loud. "But you know, even though I was upset after she left and I missed her, I was also kind of relieved. I think, deep down, I knew that Catherine wasn't really the one. I think that having Catherine as my girlfriend and then falling into a relationship with Lynn so fast afterwards, helped me to ignore the feelings that I have for you." He shrugged, "I guess as long as I was in a relationship, I could lie to myself and also to you. I could tell myself that the strong feelings I have for you was nothing more than loving you like I loved Mary-Anne but deep down, I know I have been lying to myself. Deep down, I have probably known it for a couple of years now."
Danny tensed up and stared at the wall, listening. There was something in Steve's tone, a vulnerability, a fear of being rejected, a fear of making a fool of himself, that Danny had only really heard once before when Steve told him why he never played a guitar anymore.
"I screwed up Danny and I'm so sorry. I know that I not only hurt you by what I did, but I also hurt Grace and Charlie. I never, ever wanted to do that, I honestly thought that by staying away after Charlie's bone marrow transplant, I was helping, that I was giving you, Grace and Charlie time to adjust to all the new changes."
Looking across at Danny, he added softly, "When you and Charlie underwent the bone marrow operations, I asked Max about what to expect for your recovery and he told me that for a few weeks afterwards they you could become easily tired. So, after you returned to duty, I thought that by partnering up with Lou on cases, I could let you work without you getting exhausted." Swallowing hard, he looked back down at the sheet as he admitted, "I really, really thought that I was helping but I was wrong. Gracie told me just how much I hurt you… how you thought that we…I… didn't care anymore…"
He saw Danny partially turn back onto his back. Encouraged that Danny might actually be listening, he rushed on, "I know that you probably think that I am not thankful that you saved my life not once when I was shot in the plane but twice when you gave me half of your liver. But I am and I want you to also know that if our positions were changed, I would have done the same thing for you, without any hesitation. And I never meant it for one little second when I told you that I hated you and that when Charlie grew up, he would hate you as well after we argued what to watch on TV the other night." He swallowed the hot bile that rose in the back of his throat when he saw Danny flinch at the reminder of the mean crack that he had made just a few hours before Danny began to fight for his life after saving his. Steve shook his head, "Because he's not, Buddy, he's going to love you as much as I do."
Glancing towards the door as he saw the nurse walking back towards their room, he turned back to Danny and rushed on, "I know that I have hurt you badly, and all I can say as an excuse is I screwed up, I screwed up badly, Danny and I'm sorry. But please, as much as you might not believe me, I do love you and I don't want to lose you, not now, not ever!"
He thought he saw Danny nod although Danny did not turn back towards him as the nurse entered the room.
"Okay Commander, times up," she announced as she walked to the edge of the bed and placed the kidney dish she was carrying onto the bedside table before she removed the syringe from it. Wiping down the IV port on the back of his hand with an alcohol swap before carefully inserting the needle and slowly injecting the medication, she told him, "Detective Williams needs to rest and so do you!"