"What the Hell is the ... matter with you?" Danny demanded again, unable to stop the moan from slipping out as he weakly grabbed the bed rails and tried to pull himself up a little higher in the bed. "Just what ... the hell did you think you were... doing?"
"Danny-" Steve tried again.
"Telling Rachel that she made her bed... when she divorced me... and married Stan, that ...she can't keep us dangling on a string ...while she tried to decide who ...she wants to be with... And then hitting her with the bombshell... that you love me!"
"I was telling her the truth."
"Telling her ... the truth?"
"Look Danny, I was not going to let Rachel try and waltz back into your life, telling you that she had made a mistake and –"
"Telling me that ... she loves me," Danny shook his head. "Just like you did."
Steve swallowed hard, running a hand over his head as he softly admitted, "The difference between Rachel and I, is I really mean it, Danny. I love you."
"You love me." Danny gave a small, sad, sardonic laugh, "Well Steven, if you do, you have ... a very funny way ... of showing it."
"Look Danny, I know I screwed up. I thought I was doing the right thing but I was wrong. I never meant to hurt you!"
"You thought you were doing ... the right thing? And you never meant to... hurt me by pushing me away!" Danny stared at Steve in disbelief as all his hurt, anger and the loneliness he had been feeling over the last year bubbled to the surface. "Just how the... Hell did you ever think ...that staying away and... completely ignoring not only me, but Grace and Charlie too, ... after Charlie and I were discharged from hospital after ... the bone marrow transplant, and then ... partnering up with anyone else ... but me after I returned to work, wasn't ... going to hurt me? I didn't... even know what I had done ... to cause you to suddenly lose trust in me,... or even what I had said or did that ... made you decide that not only me, but... also Grace and Charlie were no longer... a part of your life. Damn it, Steve, we are no longer ... even a part of the so-called Five 0 ... ohana!" Rolling tiredly onto his back, Danny sighed, "And now, ... just like Rachel, you're claiming ... that you love me!"
"I do love you, Danny, with all my heart and I don't want to lose you, not now, not ever! I know that I really hurt not only you, but Grace and Charlie and I never ever meant to do that. I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing by staying away after the bone marrow transplant to give, Grace and Charlie some time alone together. You will never know just how hard it was for me to stay away. I missed you and then when you returned to work, I thought that by teaming up with Lou, Chin and Kono out in the field, I was taking some of the pressure off of you. Damn it, Babe, none of us ever meant to make you feel like you weren't an important part of our ohana. I hope you believe me Danny when I tell you that you are the most important person in my life!" Steve sat up in the bed, reaching for the folded piece of paper on which he had written his resignation as he swung his legs off the edge of the bed. Stepping unsteadily across the small distance that separated them, he handed Danny the folded piece of paper. "And I hope this is shows you just how much."
"What's this?" Danny frowned in confusion as he looked down at the folded piece of paper he held in his hand.
"My resignation. Effective immediately." Steve told him as Danny unfolded the sheet of paper and began to read it. "I have already got it written out and ready to hand to the Governor if you decide to take that job with Newark P.D. I also have book four one-way tickets back to New York for Grace, Charlie, you and me. Flight dates are open, just in case you decide that you do want to move back to the mainland."
"Is there... something wrong with your brain?" Danny demanded, breathlessly, forcing himself to sit up a little higher in the bed totally ignoring the pain that ripped through his midriff as he stared, shocked at Steve's resignation before looking back up at Steve, "Have you ... even thought about what this letter means ... if the Governor gets it, Steven?"
"I screwed up, Danny. Maybe you were right when you once told me I was not held enough as a baby. But I have never been good with expressing how I really feel, especially just how I really feel about you. When Catherine walked away, even though I told myself that I loved her and wanted to marry her, I let her walk away." Steve shrugged as Danny stared at the neatly written resignation letter that he was holding in his hand, "I guess that deep down, I really knew that she wasn't the one I really wanted. You are and I am not willing to watch you walk out of my life without a fight. And if you do decide that you want to leave and return to New Jersey, then I am going with you. I love you, Danny and I am not going to lose you, not if I can do anything to stop it. And if that means leaving Five 0 and Hawaii, then that's what I am willing to do."
Swallowing hard as he looked back up at Steve, Danny asked softly, "What if ... I don't love you?"
"We both know that would be a lie, you love me," Steve smiled before the smile slipped from his lips and he asked anxiously, "You do love me, don't you?"
Danny sighed, and nodded, even as angry as he was, he couldn't hide his feeling, "Of course I do, you Neanderthal animal."
"I'm… umm … not interrupting anything, am I?" the Governor asked from the doorway. Spinning around, Steve blushed, uncertain of just how much the Governor had overheard as the governor added, "I can come back later, if you like."
xxxxx
AN-Wow, sorry about the delay- I was hoping to have been able to post this yesterday or on Saturday evening but Danny decided to make it so hard. He made me rewrite this scene so many times before he was happy with it.