Danny stared at the empty doorway before he turned back and stared at Steve. "Have you … lost your mind? Just… what the hell … did you just do?" he demanded weakly.
"Me? You gave him the letter!"
"He took … the letter out … of my hand, Steven! What the Hell did you expect…me…to...do? Tell him…he couldn't have…it?" Danny glared tiredly at Steve, still not quite able to believe or even fully comprehend just what Steve had just done, "And what about…you? Just what the Hell did…you think…would happen ... when he asked you … if you meant what … the letter said… and you … said yes?"
"I was being honest, Danny. I meant it when I said if you decided that you wanted to return to New Jersey, that I would be going with you."
"And what if … I didn't want you… to come … with me to New… Jersey, Steve? Have you… ever thought of that?" Danny asked breathlessly as the beeps from the heart monitor began to race.
"But you just said that you love me." Steve frowned in confusion.
"I do love you…Steve… but that doesn't mean that…I wanted you …to quit Five 0. Nor does it…mean that I wanted you to…come with me to New Jersey."
"Look, Danny, I know I screwed up-"
Pulling himself up a little higher in the bed, Danny turned and stared at Steve, his frustration, anger and hurt that had bubbled to the surface just minutes before Steve had dropped the bombshell on him that he was willing to resign and follow him back to the mainland just before they were interrupted by the Governor erupted with all the fury of Pele. "You just don't…get it…do you, Steve! This isn't … about just you … or about…you being sorry." He shook his head, "This is much more…than that."
"Then talk to me Danny, tell me what you want-"
"I just want to feel… like my friends and…. colleagues respect me, Steve, not only… as a seasoned cop …but as a …friend. I just want… to feel like my friends …respects me enough and trusts me enough… to do my job…and that's not…happening, no matter…how hard I try… I'm just a third…wheel in the …team." Looking across the small distance that separated them, Danny softly admitted. "I just want to feel like I am part of the Five 0 ohana...I just want to feel like my friends actually appreciates me being around them ...and them being around me, sometimes."
Steve's frown deepened, "Is this about the cards?" he began as he remembered the cards for Danny that Chin had given him a couple of days ago. "Because if it is, I can explain-"
"Damn it, Steve, this… is not about any…. damn cards," Danny growled hotly. Swallowing down a moan as his stomach muscles began to cramp up and he suddenly felt light headed, he dropped his head back down onto the pillow in exhaustion and sighed, resigned that Steve did not seem to understand, "I just can't do it anymore… Steve. I just don't want…. to feel alone anymore …" He swallowed hard, "I just want to go home where I have family...who love and support me…and even if I have …. to break my contract with HPD then that's… what I am going to do… I love you Steve, but… I don't want you to … come with me. I just can't do it… anymore. I don't wanna …be in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate me again."
"Danny…"
Danny shook his head as he closed his eyes, too tired and too sick to keep them open anymore, as he whispered, "Don't …"