Steve sighed as he stared at the ceiling before he glanced across at the sleeping man in the other bed. Danny had fallen asleep again minutes after the doctor had returned to do his daily rounds, and he had not even stirred when Clara and Eddie had sat beside his bedside for the rest of the morning. The surgeon had warned them that Danny would probably sleep most of the day and not to expect him to be awake for more than a couple of minutes when he did wake up.
"I just want to feel… like my friends and…. colleagues respect me, Steve, not only… as a seasoned cop …but as a …friend. I just want to feel like I am part of the Five 0 ohana...I just want to feel like my friends actually appreciates me being around them ...and them being around me, sometimes." Danny's heartbroken and angry plea echoed in his ears leaving him breathless at the depth of Danny's pain at just how badly they had all unintentionally treated him and the disturbing fact that nobody in the Five 0 ohana, not even him, had even noticed.
Swallowing hard he turned to stare back up at the tiled ceiling as he remembered another conversation they had had just the year before, that should have raised red flags about how he was treating Danny.
The conversation had taken place while they were searching for William Ellery, the crazy scientist who believed that he could reform criminals by infecting their brains with parasites. They had discovered a hidden bunker door in the forest that had led into a tunnel. He bit his lip as he remembered how Danny had baulked at the thought of following him into the tunnel, telling him that he couldn't do it, that he couldn't do caves, tunnels or cramped spaces, how they made him feel like a rat before surprising him by admitting he was claustrophobic.
He had been a little surprised but had agreed that Danny remain outside while he went into the tunnel and searched. It was only after he came out, he had asked the question that had momentarily troubled and bewildered him, "Hey Danny, how'd it take me four years to learn that about you?"
Swallowing hard, he could taste the burning bile that rose in the back of his throat as he remembered the look on Danny's face when Danny turned back and looked at him. In his mind's eye, he saw Danny shrug, only now, looking back, he could see the hurt, loneliness and the silent resignation of what was the truth in Danny's eyes as he answered, "I don't know. Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me."
Danny was right! As much as he hated to admit it, during the last few years he had somehow stopped paying attention to Danny. Hell, to be honest, as much as it hurt to admit, they all had!
Quickly glancing back across at Danny as he heard Danny whimper and toss restlessly in his sleep, Steve felt his heart sink lower as more of the painful conversation he had had with Danny earlier in the morning echoed in his ears. "I just want… to feel like my friends …respects me enough and trusts me enough… to do my job…and that's not…happening, no matter…how hard I try… I'm just a third…wheel in the …team."
He felt his breath catch in his throat as he remembered what he had thought was lighthearted jokes that that he and the rest of the team had often made at Danny's expense. Licking his now dry lips, Steve now found himself silently admitting that as much as they had laughed at and dismissed many of Danny's warnings and rants, he was often proven right.
Staring at Danny, Steve remembered the day when they were training for the obstacle course, Danny was still recovering from donating bone marrow to Charlie. Steve swallowed hard as he realized just how much pain Danny must have felt, keeping up with them, while Lou got to follow them in a golf cart. Steve suddenly remembered Lou's playful jab at Danny when it came to doing the mud crawl, stating that the team's weakest link had to go first before threatening Danny with getting squirted with the hose if Danny didn't get into the mud.
They had all laughed at the joke but now after Danny's admission about how he was feeling within the team and ohana, he wondered just how much Danny had taken all the comments and jokes to heart and nobody had noticed, not even him.
"I just can't do it anymore… Steve. I just don't want…. to feel alone anymore … I don't wanna …be in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate me again."
The memory of Danny's soft heart-broken admission was quickly pushed aside as Danny began to toss and turn, caught in what Steve intuitively knew had to be a bad dream. Throwing off the light sheet that covered his legs, Steve sat up and slid his legs off the side of the bed.
"Don't…don't you die…" Danny murmured restlessly the words Steve barely remembered hearing as he was bleeding out on the plane. "Don't you…die on…me…you…"
Standing up, Steve quickly stepped across to the side of Danny's bed, ignoring the protest from his newly healing stitched as he grabbed Danny's hand, holding it tightly, determined that if he was going to make things right, the promise he was about to make would have to backed up with actions to prove to Danny that he really meant it, as he whispered, "You're not going to get rid of me that easily, Danny. I love you, Babe, and I promise you, that you are never going to feel unappreciated or alone ever again."