PROMPT: "you don't look so good."

- ADDT NOTES: post s4 AU, only changes are that Stefan doesn't go into a safe, nor does Silas return.

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SOME SEXUAL CONTENT, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries or the characters, I make no money from this.

When Bonnie's revived, naked and surrounded by a circle of ash, everyone immediately utters a cry of relief; Elena and Caroline are already crying, Matt has a watery grin on his face, Jeremy and Stefan go to wrap her in a blanket, help her stand on shaky legs. Damon watches the scene unfold silently, everyone goes to greet Bonnie happily, Tyler running by with a change of clothes for her.

It's a touching reunion. Everyone takes her back to the boardinghouse, catches her up on what she missed, they try not to bombard her with questions but Damon knows what they're all thinking. Why couldn't Jeremy contact you? Were you on the Other Side? Or somewhere else? Why don't you seem more relieved?

They all have dinner together, everyone's laughing and sharing childhood stories in honour of Bonnie's return. Damon sits silently at the end of the table, occasionally pouring himself another glass of bourbon while observing the room. Sometimes he forgets how young they are, just straddling the line between naive teenagers and adults entering the world. It's not a big deal, but it's a tiny reminder that he's apart from the group. It's understandable, but it doesn't make the situation any less bitter.

And yet, in his silence, he sees what no one else does.

Bonnie talks, not too much but she does, she laughs at jokes, smiles at her friends but it's the eyes that speak the truth. Anyone that knows Bonnie, knows that when she's angry, her eyes blaze with green fire, or they light up when she's happy, and glitter with sorrow when she's sad. Everything she feels, it's all in her eyes. But there's nothing there now.

Stefan steps back into the house, keys in hand. "All my bags are in the car, ready to go. Bonnie's parking her car too, so everyone's here to say goodbye."

He's leaving again, keeping to the promise he and Damon made all those months ago. Only for Bonnie's death, had Stefan came back in an effort to bring her back, but now that's been accomplished. Matt and Tyler already came by to say goodbye to Stefan before heading off to their college classes, as did Jeremy before leaving for the school day.

"Hi," Bonnie appears in the doorway, smiling but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Sorry I'm late, I overslept."

"It's fine," Stefan says, just as Caroline and Elena make their way into the foyer. There's a beat of silence, everyone's unsure of who should speak first and it's Caroline that steps forward, giving Stefan a tight hug and demands that they stay in touch. Her eyes look a little red as Stefan pulls away and moves onto Bonnie, giving her a big hug with a warm smile.

"Don't be a stranger, and call me if you ever need to talk. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"I know," she replies simply, but her tone doesn't sound sincere, it's as if she's struggling to be reassuring. Damon wonders if Stefan notices it too. "Stay safe and out of trouble. Don't be afraid to visit."

"See you, Bonnie," he says gently, the two of them pulling apart and he turns to Elena. Damon shifts uncomfortably, his eyes on the ground but they keep flickering up to watch his girlfriend and his brother; they hug, and Damon can see Elena's eyes close as she embraces him, but he can't decipher the warring emotions on her face. "Be happy, Elena. You deserve it, okay? Let me know if you ever need anything."

Damon's reminded of back when his brother and Elena were a couple, how it looked as if they were the only two people in the world, everyone else like planets orbiting them, the centre of the universe. Damon pushes the uncomfortable thought away, not wanting to dwell on it. He got the girl, right?

"I'll always be here for you, Stef, no matter what. Don't forget that," Elena whispers softly, and Damon isn't sure she's ever used that voice with him. Another annoying thought that he has to dismiss.

Stefan pulls away, giving her one last sad smile before hugging Damon. He's a little surprised, their relationship's been shaky for awhile now, he wasn't too sure where they stood.

"Until the next time, brother," Stefan says quietly, and Damon smiles, albeit reluctantly.

"Until next time," Damon echoes, letting his brother go, watching him get into the car with one last wave.

They all watch Stefan's car drive away until it's just a tiny little red dot in the distance, and then nothing. Caroline says something about plans with her mom, saying a quick goodbye to Elena and Bonnie before driving off. Damon turns his attention to Elena, approaching her and wraps an arm around her, trying to coax her inside but she doesn't even react, clearly lost in thought. He looks around again, but Bonnie's gone so he just heads back inside the boardinghouse.

Damon's about to go upstairs to take a shower when he hears the clink of booze in the library. He makes his way there instead, curious and miffed as to who's touching his liquor and finds Bonnie on the couch, glass in hand.

"Taking advantage of my hospitality, little witch? That's not very noble of you," Damon points out lazily, pouring himself some bourbon as well. He's not sure whether to expect a snarky remark or subdued silence.

She stares at him, her face vacant. "I doubt drinking your alcohol is where the line should be drawn."

Damon tilts his head a little in surprise at her response. Her usual fire isn't there, but still, there's a spark, a shred left inside her. "Well, it starts with the tiny stuff, next thing you know it's chaos, so I certainly can't trust you."

She's still examining him, looking more pensive. "You were never really one for trust."

They drink in silence from that point.

Damon and Elena fight a lot. And there's a lot of sex. It's hard to tell which they do more of. The summer had been fine, they spent time together, mostly in bed and it'd been a dream come true. But reality had set in, Elena had a life to live, which sometimes annoys Damon, and sometimes they seem to have different ideas of what their relationship should be.

After a particularly vicious fight, Damon storms out of the boardinghouse, hell-bent on getting far away from his problems. He gets in his car, slamming the door hard and speeds off to go find some seedy bar in the middle of nowhere.

He manages to find one, surrounded by corn fields and the dingy lights make the bar glow red, and storms inside, ready to drink away. He's about to go sit down when he notices a familiar figure hunched over at the bar, and goes to sit beside her. "You don't look so good."

"I know," Bonnie replies simply, chasing her straw in her glass. Her face is bare of any makeup, her hair's in a low ponytail and her clothes look rumpled with a few stains on them. "What are you doing here?"

"Me and Elena fought. I needed a drink."

"Trouble in paradise, shocker."

Damon didn't expect this kind of callousness. "Is it just me or are you being way more judgemental than usual?"

"You tell me. Everyone seems to have different ideas of who I am now."

Her tone isn't bitter or angry, just matter-of-fact. There's no fire to her voice, no challenge, and it bugs Damon.

"You know, ever since we brought you back, you've been different. Like an entirely different person."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I think I do. You think you've fooled everyone with your act, pretending everything's fine and you're glad to be back? I'm not buying shit. Inside, you're miserable."

"Look who's talking!" Bonnie turns in her seat to face Damon, "You chase after Elena for so long like a pathetic loser, you get her after her worst nightmare came true, and now you're fighting with her? Don't act like you're actually happy either."

"At least I don't give up like you have. You think I'm miserable? Well, I think I know why you are too. Life's beaten you down, you've given up, you're too weak to get up back up again and-" Bonnie whirls out of her seat, throwing cash on the counter and Damon copies her movements, storming after her. "-you have to deal with your own shit, but it's time to grow up, Bonnie! Drinking and doing nothing is basically-"

"SHUT UP!" Bonnie shoves Damon with her magic, pushing him against the bar wall, looking enraged. "YOU'RE THE SAME GODDAMN MONSTER YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU ARE THE LOWEST OF THE LOW, I'VE NEVER MET SOMEONE AS EVIL AND SPITEFUL AS YOU!"

"I doubt anyone can be lower than where you are," Damon spits back, struggling slightly against her magic. "Welcome to Hell, Bonnie, it gets pretty cold from time to time."

"YOU'RE A MAN-CHILD THAT DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HELL! YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS WHEN MY FRIENDS RESURRECTED ME, HUH?! I WAS AT PEACE!"

This makes Damon falter, and he stares down at Bonnie in shock. "What?"

She stops, looking lost instead of angry and she speaks, the words coming out in a rush, no louder than a whisper. "I was with my Grams...my Aunt Donna...people I'd lost, but I was happy. I was loved. I knew the people I'd left behind would be okay, that I could rest. I got to be with the people I love, who love me, I could do what I wanted without having to worry about anything. But then one day, I was gardening outside, waiting for Grams to finish making dinner when everything just...slipped away. Then I woke up, back here where everything hurts, nothing's ever easy and all I feel is nothing. Everyone's glad to have me back, but it's like I'm in hell."

Damon can't seem to find any words, he's lost the ability to speak. No words in the human vocabulary can even cover the right response to a confession like that.

"Why did I tell you that?" Bonnie breathes out after a moment, a tear slipping down her cheek. She stumbles forward, her head against Damon's chest and it sounds like she's about to cry. Her magic isn't restraining him anymore, he's free and yet, he doesn't walk away. Instead, he awkwardly pats her back as she leans against him, unmoving.

After a moment, she looks up slowly at him, back up slightly; her eyes glitter with tears, he can see how defeated she is but there's something else too. He thinks she might be moving closer, maybe he's doing the same, maybe he's even thinking about if he'll be able to taste hell on her tongue but then she shoves him roughly, and runs away.

"STOP! JUST STOP!" Elena cries exasperatedly, throwing her hands down and slumps down on the couch. "Do you even know what we're arguing about?"

"I...something about college. What's your point?"

"I thought we'd get past the fights, but it...it never ends. I can't do this anymore."

"What are you saying?" Damon feels as if all the blood is draining from his face, even if it's not possible.

"I mean...I'm so tired. We just go in circles, just fighting and sex, but I've had enough. I-I can't keep going on like this," Elena buries her face in her hands, her voice watery.

"No, no, this is nothing, we'll get past this, we're more than that, you make me a better man, I waited for you, I love you-"

"Love can't just magically fix everything!" Elena points out heavily, "We love each other, but it's not enough. Not anymore."

"But it is! It can be!"

"No, it isn't! I thought I wanted a consuming love, but I never realized what happens after it consumes you, after everything's stripped away...you're just left with nothing. I don't want that. I love you, but I need to be on my own for awhile. I need a break."

"Please, Elena, please, don't-"

"I'm sorry, Damon-"

"We can work past this, I know it, look at what we've gone through, we're supposed to be forev-"

"I'm going to pack up my things...I'll get Jeremy to move in with Matt or Tyler, I'll go to Caroline's and try to get a place for me and him-"

"Elena, baby, don't do this to me, stay, I need you-"

"And that's the problem," Elena says gently, getting up from her seat, wiping her eyes. "You and I, we get lost in each other, but that's not worth it. I want to love somebody who makes me feel good, who knows who I am."

The tension thickens in the room, a name hanging between them.

"This is about him, isn't it? How it was always him, and I never really stood a chance?" Damon comments numbly, searching Elena's face for some kind of confirmation.

"I...I just need to figure things out by myself for a while," Elena presses a chaste kiss to Damon's cheek. "I'm sorry."

It's raining outside.

Damon searches through his kitchen, opening up cupboards but there's no liquor in sight. Somehow, he's emptied out every bottle in the house. He groans, walking through the hallways; the place smells like a winery, but Damon will have someone come in to clean it eventually. For now, he just wants a couple dozen bottles of bourbon.

He grabs his keys, dangling them loosely in his hands and opens the front door, only to find Bonnie on his doorstep, soaking wet and looking like she's about to run away.

"Hi," he says warily, his anguish temporarily put on hold by the surprise at Bonnie's appearance.

"You're beneath me. You're a monster who only ever cares about what he wants, no matter who gets hurt."

"You drove all the way here to tell me this?" Damon asks, now offended.

"There's no way this'll end well," Bonnie continues, as if not hearing him, "but when I'm with you, I feel...not happy, but it's just...I want to feel."

Damon's eyes widen, as if seeing Bonnie for the first time. He knows what she wants, why she's here and now she's waiting patiently, a little scared for his response.

"Come in," he replies, his voice raw and she does, completely silent but her eyes are finally speaking; he can see the doubt, the complete certainty that this is a mistake but she doesn't care.

They move in sync, Damon cornering her against the wall and she's watching him expectantly; he brings a hand to her cheek, bringing her up towards him and kisses her hungrily. She immediately responds, her tongue tasting of desperation and hunger, sometimes nipping at his lips with a ferocity that only seeks to disintegrate Damon's self-control. He moves his attention to her neck, ravaging it with heated kisses and he accidentally smashes a hand into the wall, making a sizeable hole but he barely notices.

He's sure, like she is, that nothing good will come of this, this is not something born out of love. Still, he lifts her up, her legs around his torso and vamps into the main room, accidentally sending a table flying but he just lays her down on a couch, ripping off her shirt and continues kissing her, uncaring of the damage that'll be done.

Not much of a happy one-shot, but I wanted to play around with this kind of storyline. If you got spuffy vibes, I did use part of their s6 arc as inspiration. May be continued if requested; comments and kudos are appreciated!