Turning back to stare at the ceiling, as he heard Lou's footsteps fade away. Lou's words began to echo in his mind. "You know Danny, when you were training for the inter-departmental games, just after you had donated your bone marrow to save Charlie's life, I jokingly called you the weakest link in the team but I was wrong to say that, you are the link that keeps us all together, without you, I don't think there would be a Five 0. Hell, Danny, I know without you, McGarrett would have killed himself years ago with his insane stunts and ideas. I should never have said that, even as a joke, I'm sorry."
Lou's apology reminded him of the numerous times Rachel had apologized, each apology had probably come from the heart at the time, but the reason why she apologized had been quickly forgotten by her after he had forgiven her. And the whole painful cycle would start again.
Added was the knowledge that when Lou had told him that he was the weakest link, it had not been said as a stupid weak joke, Lou had meant every word when he said it. He could still hear Chin's, Kono's and Steve's laughter rang in his ears, confirming what he had already known about how they felt about his ability of being a cop and being a valued member of Five 0. Hell, they didn't even want to be around him anymore, they had shown him that!
And as for Lou claiming that he wanted Grace, Charlie and him to stay with him so he and Renee could help him during his recovery... Lou had shown no interested in helping him with Grace or Charlie after the bone marrow transplant, instead he had stayed away, they all had, and they had all left him to cope on his own, so why now?
Danny suddenly felt the same burning rage that had consumed him when he had discovered that Marco Reyes had murdered Matty begin to rise inside him, robbing him of his breath with its intensity. He didn't need their guilt, he didn't want their apologies nor did he want their pity! His hands curled up into tight fists as the feelings of hurt, anger and frustration that he had tried to keep bottled up inside him exploded in a white-hot fury as he lifted a fist and began to slam it back down onto the bed over and over again. All he wanted was everyone just to leave him alone … He wanted to go home to Jersey…
No, he sighed, aware that he was lying to himself and he had been for months, that wasn't what he really wanted. He swallowed hard as hot tears burned the back of his eyes and punched the bed in frustration again as a single tear rolled down the side of his face as he admitted to himself aloud , "Damn it, all I want is to be part of the ohana again. But not because they feel sorry, or because they feel guilty, but because they want me to be."
"They do, Danno," Gracie's soft voice from the doorway startled him and he weakly rolled his head to find Gracie, Charlie and Beth standing there. "I didn't think they did either but they really do." Grace whispered as Beth nodded her agreement behind her.
Slipping his hand from Beth's light hold, Charlie ran into the room and tried to climb up on the bed beside Danny as he told Danny excitedly, "And Uncle Chin said that we can go home to our place. That he's going to stay with us until you and Uncle Steve comes home!"
"Only if it's okay with you of course. He thought that they would be more comfortable and settled in their own home. He stocked up the pantry and the fridge yesterday, and I think he's planning to come by later to check with you if he looking after the kids for you while you are in hospital is okay with you." Beth smiled as she quickly followed Charlie into the room, picking him up and gently settling him beside Danny.