It was two days after they had gone to the market that Gron had come to their doorstep.
At first he had come there because he wanted to discuss something with Zeb, something about some sort of plans to help rebuild an old temple that had been found a few months before they had arrived on Lira San and it was a bit of a distance away from their home. By the way Zeb's ears were moving, the few sighs he gave, and the slight slump of his shoulders, it was apparent that Gron was trying to convince him to take a small leave from their home to go help with the rebuilding efforts and not liking the possibility of leaving Alex behind without him. Even if it was for no more than a week. It wasn't as though Zeb hadn't helped rebuild old temples before, on Yavin IV he had helped clear debris and such from the few temples there that the rebellion had used for their base and used for barracks, storage, or other such usage. Alex hadn't really kept up with the conversation, feeling out of place for even being in the same room as the two much less trying not to show that he was desperately trying not to eavesdrop on it as he puttered around the two. It was only when Gron mentioned him by his surname to get his attention did he turn towards and came to the two Lasat from the other side of the kitchen.
"We could use both of your help," Gron had said, Alex trying to not look too shocked that he was be considered to help to do such a thing. Gron knew exactly who Alexsandr Kallus was, what he had done to Lasan – hadn't Zeb said that he had been part of the Honor Guard there? Alex opened his mouth to answer when Zeb put a hand on his arm, then turned to his old friend.
"We'll think about it," he had responded, Gron nodding with a tight smile then reminded Zeb of the meeting that planned for the next day before he left.
That meeting, it turned out, was a monthly thing for the survivors of Lasan to meet and remember their lost home, something that had started not long after Lira San had been found and survivors started to live on the planet. Each meeting had originally been a way for the Lasan Lasat to see who had survived and to reunite family, friends, and other loved ones that had been thought to be lost before the gatherings evolved into a way to remember those who were no longer there to enjoy their new home. These meetings eventually spanned the entire planet as the survivors began to find their own paths on Lira San and continued the new tradition of having these monthly meetings, mostly in Ashla-sanctioned temples but also in a few small bars when the temples were not available to them. There was one that Chava and Gron often attended when they didn't have matters of the town's elders or the Ashla to attend to and had tried to persuade Zeb to come to more before the war had ended.
Zeb had been to a couple of them when he could after taking any refugees planet-side personally, finding a few distant relatives that had, thankfully, managed to evade the massacre then found ways to flee the Empire's control until they were brought to the planet; he hadn't been to one a while, as he he had been busy dealing with the war and the aftermath of the Emperor's death. At least that was the excuse he had given Alex, his ears drooping and his eyes looking downcast; Alex returned the soft touch and said that maybe it was a good idea for him to go to this meeting, to be among those that he could share his loss better with than any of the Lira San Lasat could. Maybe it would also help ease some the guilt he still felt for not being able to stop the Empire's attack when it came to Lasan's doorstep.
"Only if you come with me," Zeb said, looking up at Alex with a hopeful smile. That was not a good idea, was the first thought he had since he not only been with the Empire at the time of Lasan's fall, he also participated in it's destruction. Zeb seemed to know that thought crossed his mind, his large hands resting on Alex's shoulders. "It'll be good for both of us, to ease our minds a bit."
And so there they were the next day before noon, walking into a small temple on the outskirts of the small town they lived near, following Gron and Chava inside. There were five other Lasan Lasat's already inside the small entrance room of the temple, talking among themselves, two of them female and the other three male; Gron had said there were a few survivors that made their home within the town itself. Zeb recognized two of them as former Honor Guards, one female that appeared to be several years younger than Zeb and a male, who looked as similar age to Gron; a smile broadened his face as he walked towards them in greeting. They recognized him instantly, their faces lighting up as they broke away from the other three and greeted him warmly, as though no time had passed since they had last seen each other. He had thought there were no others he knew personally that were so close to where they lived, much less anyone that had served with him – Gron had been the first surprise, so this was another welcome one. Had he been told that there were other former Guards coming to this meeting before they came, he would've been less hesitant to come – he only had Gron's, and a few other Guard's, limited accounts of what happened to them afterwards.
Alex stayed back with Gron, Chava moving towards the other three and began to chatter with them in a calming sort of way. He already felt uncomfortable being there, not knowing what to expect from this meeting - if anything, he would only be there to listen to them talk about their time on Lasan and what their lives were like afterwards. He needed to hear their stories, hear what the Empire - and himself - had done to them and their families, to their lives. If he was lucky none of them would recognize him, if neither Chava or Gron hadn't told them who he was already; as long as he could keep himself as a listener, the better off he would be. If all went well, if Zeb still wanted to come to meet them again, he'd slowly work his way up to their forgiveness.
"Seems like Zeb knows them," Alex mumbled low enough for only Gron to hear, nodding in Zeb's direction. Gron smiled faintly, looking fondly towards the three.
"Yes, they were part of the Honor Guard as well." He pointed towards to the one the left of Zeb, the female who was a lighter shade of purple than Zeb but had white stripes instead. "That's Misha, she had just started her time in the Guard not long before the Empire came." Then he pointed to the male, one with a light brown fur and black stripes. "That's Taiki, he started the same time I did. They both were in the same group I was in when –"
Gron didn't need to finish the sentence, his ears going flat against his head for a brief moment as he glanced towards Alex, who understood the unspoken words and the sadness in his eyes. They had been together when everything happened, fought against the invaders of their home, and lost more than just the world they once knew before being thrust into a galaxy that was not that much better. And here he was, in the middle of the same survivors that, by all rights, should hold him accountable for what he had done to them and he wouldn't blame them. Putting a hand on Gron's arm, he tried his best to convey just how much he wanted things to have gone differently.
"I'm sorry, I wish these meetings didn't need to be happening. I'm glad that you found other survivors," he said sincerely, gesturing towards the small group of Lasat. Gron looked at him for a few moments, then back up at the others, his ears perking up a bit.
"I am, too," Gron said softly just as Zeb turned around to beckon Alex to come join their conversation with an excited expression on his face. It was then that the others stopped talking as well, now having taken notice that there was a human among them and one that seemed oddly familiar to them. Then the female closest to Zeb – Misha – turned to him and asked him a few questions that Alex couldn't hear all the words to, her eyes flickering over to Alex and Gron several times; Zeb growled something back at her in the same low voice that indicated he didn't appreciate her questioning. Chava turned around slightly towards them, her eyes a bit narrowed as she tapped her staff on the ground to try to get their attention focused on her and not on Alex but the one Gron called Taiki ignored her and stepped around Zeb and took several steps towards Alex and Gron before stopping.
"What's he doing here?" Taiki growled, his eyes flickering between Gron and Alex. "I remember him, he was there on Lasan when it happened. I can't forget his face"
"He's here to listen, to understand," Chava said briskly, Zeb moving quickly to Alex's side and all trace of excitement he once had on his face was now gone and now there was a panic in his eyes. Taking hold of his arm, Zeb looked down at the human with an expression of mix emotions that Alex couldn't tell apart, his ears drooping down as he grimaced.
"Understand what?" Taiki snapped, giving Zeb's back a glare. "He was a part of the Empire when it came to Lasan! What do we need to understand from him?"
"I just -" Alex started before Zeb cut him off.
"Don't, it's not worth it." Zeb tried to pull Alex towards the entrance to the temple but he stood there firmly, pushing back with determination to at least hear with the other survivors had to say. The Lasat growled at him, stealing a look towards the others with a pained look. "Lets go."
"No, things need to be said," Alex said, patting Zeb's hand gently and smiling warmly at him, before turning to the survivors with a stone-cold expression towards them. Zeb sighed, letting his arm go as he turned to face the others himself, rubbing the back of his head in defeat. "Whatever you need to say or ask, go ahead and say it even if you think I've already heard it. I need to hear it from you."
"I may not know who you are exactly, but I, too, want to know why you brought him here if he took part in what happen to Lasan," one of the other male Lasat said, looking over at Zeb and snarling at him. He did not make a move towards them, Chava holding her staff in his way and glaring up at him; he ignored the glare but did not bother to move around her. "Do you know what he did there?"
"From the looks of it he probably doesn't." The third male Lasat crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Alex and baring his fangs. "Why are you here? Came to finish us off?"
"No, I'm not. I'm not that Imperial any more, I haven't been in years." Alex looked around at them, at those who he knew wouldn't understand why he was there or why Zeb had brought him to their new home. He didn't even think Gron, Chava, or Zeb fully understood why he was there even if they believed they did. "I'm here to try and make amends for what I did, what I had continued to do after Lasan before I joined the Rebellion, even if I can't earn that or any forgiveness."
"I know better than any of you do on what he did," Zeb growled, his voice deeper and his teeth bared towards the rest; Alex could see Zeb was beginning to show his anger and now was the one to grab his arm to pull him back. He didn't need to be the one who lashed out at the ones he needed to be on the same side as. "I should know better than you do, I was there when the palace fell."
"And just who do you think you are, then?" The second female asked, looking Zeb with more than just disgust. "Some palace guard that got caught up in the middle?"
"Garazeb Orrelios, Captain of the High Honor Guard," he snapped at her, raising to his full height and staring at each of the five in turn. "I was once tasked in keeping all Lasat safe, to protect our home and the Royal Family. I failed in that, failed when the Empire came to Lasan and destroyed our home. I couldn't protect you then but I will do what I can to protect our new home now."
"By bringing him here?" Misha asked, pointing towards Alex, who gave her a neutral look despite feeling afraid that neither Zeb nor Gron nor Chava would be able to protect him from five Lasat who could pounce on him at any given second.
"He is no threat to us, he has done good despite his past," Gron said, stepping forwards then inclined his head to Chava. "If you don't trust my words or Captain Orrelios', trust Chava's."
No one spoke after that, not even Chava, Zeb glaring at them before he turned and stalked out of the temple without another word. Alex hesitated for a moment, looking at Gron for a second then over at Chava before he, too, turned and followed in Zeb's footsteps. It took him a few minutes for him to catch up to his mate, who had stopped not far from where they had parked their speeders and was glaring at something in the distance. Alex took the last few steps to him and rested his forehead on Zeb's back, carefully threading his arms around his waist and holding him despite the growls and hissing from him. Neither one of them spoke for what seemed like hours, both of them just standing there like that and ignoring everything else around them.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would end up like it did," Zeb said, anger biting through his words; that anger was not directed to Alex but rather to the world around them. "I didn't know there would be other Guardsmen there besides myself and Gron, that they'd know who you were right off. That it'd go downhill like that."
"It's not your fault, Zeb. They had every right to be angry, just like you do right now." Alex moved around to face Zeb, putting his hands on either side of his shoulders. "There's nothing you can do about others see me, how they can't see past how I used to be. How long did it take you before you saw anything but Agent Kallus?"
Zeb opened his mouth then closed it, looking away from the human. Even after he learned that Alex had become Fulcrum, had started to question the things the Empire was doing, it had taken him some time to seperate the man he once had been from the man he saw standing before him. If he was truthful, it took him a good part of a month for him after his full deflection for Zeb to be somewhat comfortable to be around Alex alone and a while longer for him to start to trust him more deeply. Now here they were, forging a life together.
"It was a while," Zeb mumbled, looking back at his lover with a sad smile. "I just thought that this would be different."
"Maybe next time," Alex said, not very hopeful that there would be a next time. "For now lets just go home, we'll comm Chava and Gron later to see how to fix this."