It hadn't been long when they returned home when they received comm messages from both Chava and Gron before both of them commed them directly to talk barely ten minutes after Alex and Zeb walked inside their home.
The conversation with Chava had gone well enough, her voice seemed rather strained, low, and not her usual tone she used with the pair; Alex could almost see her sour expression, ears hanging low, and slightly worried eyes. She expressed her disappointment on how both Alex and Zeb had all but stormed out of the meeting before it began, but understood the why they had left even if she was unhappy with it. 'I will talk to them,' she promised, not needing to explain who they were; Alex almost told her to don't bother but Zeb put his hand on his arm before he could say anything to stop the old Lasat. The worst thing that could happen, Zeb would say after they bid her farewell, was that Alex would have a minor setback in getting any Lasan survivors to believe he was no longer the Imperial he once was and that they could trust him. If they did at all.
What Alex didn't question at the moment, and didn't want to make the situation any worse while talking to Chava, was if Zeb still trusted him fully. When they first started their relationship some years before, it took some time before he worked the courage to ask if the Lasat trusted him, as he had barely began to shed most of his Imperial training and a good chunk of the Rebellion didn't seem so keen to trust him with anything sharper than a blade of grass. Zeb had all but snarled at him, saying that he did and that it was a stupid question to ask; after all, hadn't he decided to become a spy within the Empire after he had told him to start asking questions? It took some time after that for Alex to be fully confident that not only did Zeb start to trust him but also his fellow Rebels, time that he didn't think he'd ever have if he stayed with the Empire. Now he was unsure as he had been during the first few months of his full deflection, unsure of what to do or what direction he was going to go in. But this time he had Zeb by his side, something he didn't have then.
When Gron messaged them not long after Chava had, it was to tell Zeb that Chava was still talking to the other survivors, who were still unnerved and angry that a former Imperial was living among them freely. He said little about how her talking was going, other than two of them seemed to want to hear what the former Agent Kallus had to say, if he really had fully deflected from the Empire, and the reason behind him leaving if he truly had. There was something that he wasn't saying, something that he didn't want to vocalize over the comm, so Gron made a small promise that he'd see them in a day or two to go over any plans of getting Alex to at least meet with a few willing survivors to tell some of his side to them. After they said their goodbyes, Zeb threw the comm on the kitchen counter and glared at it as though he wanted to will it away from their home.
"I know they're trying to get us back to those meetings, to see if the other survivors are willing to listen to you, but this one didn't go so well. And it hadn't even started!" Zeb rubbed his face, before glaring at the wall in front of him. "I don't think that -"
"Zeb, do you trust me?" Alex blurted out before Zeb could say another word. The Lasat blinked a few times, turning around to face the other as he moved from where he was standing by the kitchen table. He had been holding onto one of the chairs to steady himself when both Chava and Gron had commed them, mostly to keep himself busy while they talked to Zeb. Now that those two conversations were over, he had wanted to talk over the idea of him going to another meeting with the survivors; it seemed like Gron had the same idea as he did. But instead of going on the same idea that Gron had, he just blurted out that question – and now that he had, maybe he could work the conversation towards him trying to talk to the other survivors. To start the process of maybe allowing him to make his own amends towards them, instead of just waiting it out.
"Of course I trust you, didn't I make that clear before we came here?" Zeb gave him a hard look, one that told Alex he had asked a silly question. "Why are you asking? Because of the meeting?"
"Yes. I just need you to be honest with me now that you've seen the reactions of some of the other survivors outside of Chava and Gron." Alex now stood in front of Zeb and, although they were nearly identical in height, he still needed to incline his head up slightly to stare the Lasat in the eye. "After everything I've done to you and the other Lasat, why do you?"
Zeb opened his mouth then closed it, looking away from his lover as he thought over his answer. Before, when they spoke about him trusting Alex well before the thought of coming to Lira San popped up, it was because he saw the changes in him, the things he had done, and the way he tried to make up for all the years he had been with the Empire. Of course there was still many things that he couldn't make amends for, things that the Empire had done but Alex hadn't, yet those things were behind them now and it didn't do them any good to think about them. He had made sure that when the two of them actually came to Lira San there would be little trouble in the way of the Lasat that lived there; of course Zeb couldn't predict what anyone else would do or say but outside a few words, and the reactions of the survivors earlier that day, there had been no cause for concern. Even some of the other Lasat living near them had actually sought out the human with help with a few things around their own homes! If that hadn't been a good start then he didn't know what else to tell Alex.
"Because you've changed, you started down a path that I'm proud you took instead of ignoring the questions you should've been asking from the start! Because you've made more amends towards the things you were a part of as an Imperial. I've seen what you've done to make sure that you don't make those same mistakes again." He gave Alex a deeper look then before. "And I told you before, it'll take everyone else some time to see what I see in you."
"Look, I know. I just -" Alex sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just need to tell the survivors my side, why I did things I did, so that I can start making amends with them. Because helping a few neighbors won't help others understand."
"You don't have to do that, you know?" Zeb asked softly, smiling just as soft. "They'll eventually understand."
"And what if they don't if I just leave it as it is now? What if they can't see past the old me, what then?" Alex snapped, giving his mate a glare. "I can't have you looked at as an outcast because of me."
He growled low, baring his fangs. "I wouldn't have brought you here if I thought you would cause me any trouble."
The look Zeb was giving him, with the way his eyes had slightly narrowed and his fangs were ever slightly bared then they had seconds earlier, would've made him back up, apologize, and run in the other direction if he didn't know Zeb better than he used to. Alex knew he made him upset with that comment, not fully mad but upset enough that he had bared his fangs at him as a warning to tread lightly after it; he knew better than most beings in the galaxy how angry a Lasat could get. But Zeb had made him upset as well, thinking that if they just let everything go on without addressing this issue then everything would be alright in the end. He knew that Zeb didn't like talking much about what happened on Lasan and the years after, but things like this needed to be worked out now rather than later – and the sooner it was done, the better off everyone would be.
"And it seems like I already caused you trouble with the other survivors by just being there," Alex pointed out. "If I can talk to those who are willing to hear me out then maybe they can see how you see me now, if not then maybe at least as someone who has changed enough to where we can live in peace. Even if it takes a few times for me to talk to them, then I'll do it. When Gron comes over in a day or two, we'll see how things are."
"I don't like it," Zeb grumbled, his eyes still a bit narrowed but he didn't keep his fangs bared in anger. "What if by talking to them makes things worse?"
"It could, but also by not talking to them things could get worse. I know that you don't like talking about the afterwards much, but it needs to be done." He took a few steps closer and took Zeb's hands into his own. "How about we think it over and by the time Gron comes over, maybe we'll have a better idea of what we want to do?"
Zeb looked away, his ears drooping and his eyes lost the last bit of anger they had; Alex was right, he didn't like talking about what happened after the fall of Lasan, even during the few survivor meetings he stayed mostly silent. The ones he had been able to go to, when he had taken a few new groups of Lasat to their new home and could be there longer than an overnight rest, it was mostly to see if he could find any familiar faces in those meetings. There had been a couple childhood friends he had been more than thankful had survived, one or two others he remembered from his early days in the Honor Guard, but very few faces he knew personally. But he still mostly stayed silent, only talking when he felt he should say something or when asked a question – outside of that, deep down he still felt the rumblings of guilt for not doing something more than what he had been able to do. In a way he understood why Alex wanted to talk about his role in Lasan, he didn't have to like it but he still understood.
"Yea, maybe," he grumbled, squeezing Alex's hands as he looked back at him. "I don't want to lose you after all of this."
"And I don't want to lose you, either, or our new home." Alex squeezed back. "But we'll get this sorted, then figure out everything from there."