It…it happened so fast. My head was still spinning trying to process it all.

Darkness was doing just fine one minute, blocking Beldia's attacks with superhuman speed. But all it took was one opening in her defenses to leave her on the ground, coughing up specks of blood into a growing red puddle.

It was hard watching her scramble to retrieve her sword and lean on it like a cane. Worse still, now that her front body was facing me, I was forced to bear witness to the hideous gash going from her right collarbone all the way down to her left hip. My heart sank into my stomach.

But why? Why was I getting so worked over Darkness? It wasn't just the nausea setting in from seeing all that blood, there was something else at play. Maybe my worry stems from Beldia's show of power; it's obvious now that he's way stronger than a Griffin or Manticore if he can make Darkness bleed like that. Y-yeah, that has to be it! That's the only logical explanation, nothing more to it! I'm positive…mostly.

Amazingly, Darkness took a page right out of Theodore Roosevelt's book and stood up in spite of her injury. Not if I had anything to say about it.

"Darkness, PLEASE SURRENDER ALREADY! Just let me talk to him, I'm sure we can strike up a deal- -"

She cut me off, "I am a Crusader! I will not stand down while innocent lives are at stake! My duty is to protect!"

Her damn heroism is only gonna get her killed!

The mortally wounded knight turned to face the approaching headless knight. Although, it seems even that had become difficult for her judging by the way she was breathing funny.

"B-besides…" she gasped. "This man...This man knoooows exactly what he is doing~"

…No. No, no, you can't tell me that's why she was breathing funny – you just can't! I refuse to believe it!

Beldia halted his progress towards her when she made that suggestive comment. "What nonsense slips from thine tongue, holy knight?"

"Oh-ho-ho, don't try and play dumb!" Darkness accused, pointing a finger at the general. "You have been assessing my armor and mentally undressing me in the process! Instead of stripping it all away like a creepy old undead man, you are deliberately choosing which parts to leave intact. You wish to publicly humiliate me by leaving fleeting glimpses of my naked flesh between the cracks of my armor."

Is that what this was about? Did she never believe she was in any real danger!?

The short answer: yes. By some wonder of the universe, this hardcore sub managed to turn her dire situation into something kinky. What even...?

Darkness took a step towards Beldia, who promptly stepped back in response (probably out of fear or embarrassment). "Fiend! Standing there plotting where your next blow will land…Very well then, hit me! Hit me now! MY BODY IS READY!"

"Wha- ? I- ? No, shut up!" Beldia pleaded. "These people will get the wrong idea about me!"

I remembered being so frustrated at that moment that my toes curled in anger. That meat-headed perv made me think she was dying, but, as it turns out, I was just being a paranoid idiot! And now she's back to her usual shenanigans like nothing ever happened. So yeah, excuse me for being just a wee bit fucking salty!

"Would you, for once, please consider the time and place woman!?" I shouted without thinking. "Now is not the time to get your freak on! Save at night for when the other freaks come out!"

The masochistic flinched at my words. "Gurk…! You consider the time and place yourself, Spicer! It's already taking all my willpower to endure public flogging from this monster, I don't need you throwing insults at me too! Unless…you two are taking turns berating me...?"

Spinning around to face me, Darkness excitedly cried out, "What delicious torment are you and this Dullahan planning!?"

"W-we're not planning anything!" sputtered Beldia, and rightfully so.

"Yeah, what do you take us for?" I added. "We may be evil, but we at least have some standards!"

"Let's go! Create Water!" shouted an uninvited third voice. A pool of water suddenly formed above Darkness and Beldia. The headless knight jumped out of the way while the non-headless one got totally drenched. I don't know who did that or what they were trying to accomplish there, but at least it shut them up, so I won't complain.

"I normally do not mind harassment when I'm not expecting it," Darkness said in an almost husky voice that tingled my spine. "But you really do need to consider the time and place for foreplay, Jack~"

Hormones usurped rational thinking, and I found myself struggling to tell her that wasn't my doing. I was so flustered, I almost didn't notice Yunyun of all people taking center stage until she shouted, "Cursed Lightning!"

Electricity crackled from the girl's fingertips and lashed out at the puddle beneath Beldia and Darkness like a whip. Their conducive metal armor combined with the water produced a shocking result, pun and all. The currents of magical electricity surged across their bodies and the twitches intensified. Beldia hollered in pain while Darkness…well, hollered in pleasure.

I probably would've freaked out seeing her in that state, but after the fake scare she gave me, I knew better. Hell, I should've known since Day 1 of her recruitment. If that girl could tank two Explosions, two beasts of myth, and one slash to the chest while getting excited, she'd be fine.

Of course, that didn't mean Yunyun saw it that way.

"I'm so sorry Lady Darkness! Please forgive me!" she apologized intensely. "I was under pressure and Kazuma pushed me to do it!"

"Phrasing, Yunyun, phrasing!" emphasized the Japanese teenager beside her. "I only told you to zap him after I doused him so that I could do this: STEEEEEAL!"

The "animation" for the Steal skill played out exactly the same as when Chris first demonstrated it to me. Except, after the flash died down, Satou was left with absolutely nothing to show for in his hand. In fact, he might as well have had his dick in it since that's about all he was caught with.

Once the electricity died down, Beldia chuckled menacingly. "Clever trick, I'll give you that. But did you really think a low-level adventurer's Steal would be enough to take my blade? Now, to put an end to this farce."

A random mage from the crowd of adventurers behind me suddenly cried out, "Oh yeah? W-well, just wait until Mitsurugi Kyouya gets here with his Sacred Sword! Then you'll be sorry!"

That got the crowd riled up with cheers of anticipation. I, on the other hand, was sweating major bullets when I heard that.

"Mitten Kenya?" I mumbled to myself. "The do-gooder turned bad whose sword I melted down to make…emotion chips?"

My eyes locked on to the sad ring of cleanly sliced JackBot torsos twenty paces behind Beldia. I then rotated my shaky head to look back at my other two companions over at the gate. They only had concerned shrugs to offer me.

There's a small chance I may have goofed up royally.

Seeing the murderous Dullahan slowly advancing once more, I gladly took my golden opportunity to run away backwards into the crowd of adventurers. Predictably, it didn't take long for him to get cut off by Darkness trying to, well, cut him off…again…and failing miserably.

"I grow tired of these interruptions!"

Beldia became enraged and unleashed a flurry of sword slashes at her. He was too fast for her to do anything other than tank each and every blow that came her way.

I gotta brainstorm something soon or else that's gonna be me getting chopped up out there! Okay, so, his head is an obvious weak spot, but how to exploit it? What if I use Bind to tie-up his hands so that he'll drop it? No, that won't work, it seems low-leveled skills are automatically negated by enemies whose Level is higher than the caster. Which would definitely explain why Meatloaf was able to cut through my ropes so easily yesterday. C'mon, teen genius, there's gotta be another way to distract him!

"Water…"

I checked my side when I overheard Satou murmuring to himself.

"What?"

"Water, that might be his weakness," he said while facing me directly. "Did you see how quick he was to dodge out of the way of my splash zone? That might be because the water summoned from the Create Water spell is blessed by magic, almost like holy water! Undead hate that stuff!"

"...What?"

"Idiot – just watch what I do and follow my lead!"

Chanting the Create Water skill out loud again, the weeb blasted a small jet of water directly at Beldia, who was staring down at an unconscious Darkness. As Satou had pointed out, the general seemed to have a strong aversion for water as he jumped out of the way before it could touch him.

"Everyone! Hit him with water spells!"

Green Bean's command went through to all the other mages who spammed Create Water alongside him. It was a warzone for old Beldia, and he was stuck in the middle of no man's land with zero cover. The Dullahan hopped all around the field trying so hard to avoid the splashes.

"HEY, what're you – stop this! Stop this at once!" Beldia desperately demanded as he did his best not to let the water touch him. "Curse you, curse you all!"

I would be taking potshots at him too, but I had no mana left to spare. So that just left me to kind of stand there by myself. It's dodgeball day at gym class all over again.

"Well, at least I'm not the one that's getting gangbanged this time around," I said to myself in an attempt to look on the bright side. My hopefully optimism died out, however, when a certain blue thing decided to show up right next to me.

"Hey Jack, I know you're having one of your insane ramblings right now, but why is everyone else having a water fight all of a sudden? Is this a game?"

I turned to face Aqua and shouted, "Does this look like a game to you!? Water is that guy's weakness, and you of all people should be pitching in! Even a useless bum goddess such as yourself must know at least one water move!"

She stomped her foot and retaliated, "How dare you be imprudent with me! I'll have you know that, as a water goddess, I can use flood-class water magic."

"Then what're you waiting for, an invitation? Do it already!"

"Not so fast. I'm not doing squat for you until you apologize for calling me useless first."

"Fine, I'm sorry for what I said. Now get out there and save us already, you glorified watering can!"

"MEANIE! That's even more disrespectful than calling me useless! That tears it; I'll show you exactly what a 'glorified watering can' is capable of…"

A blue angelic cipher began spinning under Aqua's toes as all the water puddles made during the fight swirled around her like a miniature typhoon.

"Oh my followers," she said soft-spoken, "please, your goddess requires your assistance. Send in your prayers and lend me thy power."

Beldia stopped moving when he noticed the goddess charging up at an alarming rate. He took that as his cue to leave, however, before he could book it, Darkness spontaneously woke up and grabbed him by the leg.

"AHH! Let go of me you degenerate!"

"Your words hit like hammers~!"

"Don't say it like that!"

I watched on in slight amusement as Beldia tried with all his might to retreat as fast as he could with a horny knight in tow. That's when he trudged through the circle of broken JackBots, only to be just as surprised as I was when they suddenly sparked back to life and latched on to his legs with their mechanical claws! Pretty soon the whole squad was aiding Darkness in holding him down to prevent his escape!

That's my boys: fighting till the bitter end! Even when they're nothing but torsos, they'll continue to carry out my will for world domination. Now why can't everyone be like emotional robots? The world wouldn't need me to conquer it if it was already a mechanical utopia.

"Sacred Create Water!" Aqua shouted. Cumulonimbus clouds soon replaced the peaceful white wisps in the sky. Rain trickled the fields in a light shower, but that didn't last for very long. It began to rain cats and dogs, and the wind turned into a harsh wall of moving air.

In the direction Beldia had been attempting to limp away to, much of the water had already accumulated in the hills that a large tsunami formed and rushed inwards. His screams were drowned out (in more ways than one) by the waves as they engulfed him. Omi can eat his heart out.

Anyway, I was about to tell Aqua that was enough until I noticed she still had her eyes closed in that little magic trance of hers. And that the flood was also upon us with no signs of stopping.

Megumin, who was standing close by, held onto my coat in a momentary need for security. In that very instance, I activated the HeliBot to fly us directly up into the overcast sky right before the tip of the tsunami licked our boots. We both had the right idea not to look down after hearing all the wet, sloshing destruction below us. So the kid and I hovered in the air together until the noises simmered down to a calm drip.

As we made our slow descent back down to whatever was left of the land, the two of us surveyed the damage caused by Aqua. There were puddles scattered around as far as the Farsight skill would allow me to see. Those who were in the process of picking themselves back up were soaking wet, no surprise there. Sadly, this also applied to the remnants of Attack Squad Sigma. If they were semi-functioning before, they weren't anymore now that they're waterlogged. I was gonna have to gut out their shells and reinstall everything from within. Damnit.

To try and take my mind off the new workload ahead of me, I gawked at what was left of the front gates. Even the first block of the residential zone got hit by Aqua's miniature flood. If I may geek out for a moment here, the whole setup reminded me of the ending of the Invader Zim episode, "The Wettening". Funnily enough, I think I was watching that very episode on the day that I died and got reincarnated. What a weird coincidence.

"By the gods, Jack, look," Megumin said, tugging at my sleeve and pointing a ways away. "It's Beldia. He's still standing!"

I thought something smelled like wet undead (which is absolutely RANK I might add). Megumin alerted me to the Devil King general pulling himself out of a large puddle nearby. After his head coughed out a mouthful of water, he weakly yelled at the water goddess responsible, who was miraculously dry after the flood. Just chalk that one up to godly magic or something.

"You…! What is wrong with you…?" Beldia stammered. "Lady, are you insane!? What were you thinking!?"

What the decapitated knight failed to sense was a certain Japanese teenager creeping up behind him as he was venting. Once Satou got into a close enough range…

"STEAL!"

One eye-straining flash of light later, and Beldia's body stood completely still. Except there was just one small, teensy-weensy little thing missing from his person.

I watched as Satou lifted Beldia's head up to his face and glowered it down with an, admittedly, impressive evil grin. Of course, mine was better, but his was definitely sinister enough to make the head produce sweat beads through his helmet. This is why being evil has its perks.

But anyway, now that Beldia's head was successfully taken, we've basically already won! So why not have some fun with it? I mean, there's never been any harm in running a victory lap or two.

"Hey guys! Anybody want me to show you how to play soccer?" Satou cried out to the crowd. Meanwhile, I had a much better game in mind. While he was distracted, I snuck up behind him and karate chopped the base of his neck, knocking him out and allowing me to scoop up the Dullahan's head for myself.

"Forget soccer! Who's up for a game of b-ball instead?"

"B-ball!?" reiterated the head in horror.

"Yup, it's short for basketball," I explained as I dribbled Beldia, causing his head to yelp with each bounce. "The object of the game is to dribble the ball around and pass it to other players in order to shoot it through a hoop!"

I jokingly passed the head over to a dude wearing a blue jacket. He examined it at first, then proceeded to dribble it as well. Pretty soon, everybody was getting a feel for the game. Everybody except for Yunyun, who was preoccupied with her KO'd partner to get in on the action. There was also this one guy wearing a red jacket shouting random things like "My tomatoes are ruined!".

I'm just as clueless as you on that one. Either way, his problem, not mine!

The rest of the adventurers, however, broke into teams of two with each team trying to pass the "ball" over to their respective members. Beldia could barely get a word in edgewise as his head was in a constant state of motion, making it almost impossible for him to speak clearly.

A girl wearing a green hoodie stopped and suddenly asked, "Wait, what can we use for a net?"

Modern problems call for modern solutions. I hovered 10 feet in the air and formed a ring with my arms. "Here, dunk it in my arms!"

The girl dribbled the head and performed a decent hook shot maneuver, slamming it into my "net". Beldia could be heard shouting how he was gonna hurl on the way down. That genuinely made me laugh. Not evilly or anything, but just out of the sheer hilarity of it all.

"Jack? Do you have a minute?"

I saw Darkness fully recovered and standing next to the motionless body of the Headless Horseman's stepson. "I know you're having fun right now, but don't you think it's about time we wrap this up?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right…Aqua, would you care to do the honors?"

Coming from downtown Axel, a flower bud staff defied the laws of gravity and flipped through the air. It made it all the way to the shattered outer wall until it was caught by a water goddess' manicured hand. A sparkling pink scarf cloaked itself around her neck and her flower bud opened up, revealing a heavenly light from within.

"It'll be my pleasure," said Aqua before she pointed her staff at Beldia's body. "Sacred Turn Undead!"

A pillar of pure light pierced through the storm clouds and absorbed the inanimate body. I dropped to the ground and picked up Beldia's head staring at it as it stared back at me. Eventually, I gave him a cheesy grin before saying a one-liner line not even a B-list action movie would bother using.

"Just call me, Air Jack!"

Beldia's head was silent for a moment until it said, "...I don't know what that means but I get the feeling it was incredibly stupid."

One jump shot directly into the light pillar, annnnd…

"I'll see to it that you suffer in- -" The head unceremoniously disintegrated into the light with no further noise. Aqua dispersed her spell at the same time the clouds dispersed, irradiating the mushy land in a godly glow.

"Hmm, it's getting way too bright and cherry for my tastes," I said to myself. "Let's try to darken the mood a little with one of my evil laughs!"

However, before I could gulp in enough air, I suddenly felt completely drained of energy. It was so bad, my body couldn't possibly ignore it any longer and promptly shut down. In my last few seconds of hazy consciousness, I think I saw three people rush over shouting something at me.

Well, at least I was finally going to be getting a full twelve-hour sleep session. That's gotta count for something, right?

Once in a blue moon, I'll actually wake up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. Well, the moon must've turned blue because other than having a couple of bones pop from sitting up in my haystack, I felt rejuvenated. The only thing that was off was my internal clock for obvious reasons; I had no idea what the time or day was.

Seeing as how I fell asleep with my wrist device still strapped on, I booted it up to check the calendar app. And OH BOY did I oversleep big time! It's already well into the next day! Can you say, "circadian rhythm"? Because I sure can't!

"Y'know, maybe starving myself of sleep each and every night isn't the best for my long-term health. Then again, evil never rests for anyone. Isn't that right, JackBots?"

No beeps, boops, or bops of affirmation…

"…Homeboys? You there?"

It was only after scanning the stables that I finally noticed the pile of scrap metal located right next to the pink elephant. My bots have definitely seen better days, but they've also seen much worse days. At the very least, it looks like they dried off overnight. All I'd have to do is replace their innards, weld their torsos back together, and voilà: bad as new!

Standing up, I did my pre-robot-reassembly stretches until I spotted a note stuck to JB-D3V4574702's helmet lid. I peeled it off and read it to myself.

Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did you have a nice dream? Was your #1 favorite goddess in it? I hope so because you were out like a light! Seriously, we did everything we could to get you back up! First we tried splashing water on your face (provided by yours truly), but that didn't work. Then we convinced Darkness to sit on your chest to jolt you awake, but that didn't work either. Even Megumin's LOUD Explosion magic wasn't enough! So we eventually caved and brought you back to the stables to rest. Let this be a reminder to get a good night's sleep, young man! If you need us, we'll be at the guild celebrating. Signed, Aqua.

…Did I really sleep through Darkness sitting on me? I…don't know how I feel about that.

What am I thinking!? These are Aqua's words! She probably made that part up just to get a rise out of me! Yeah, what a clever move to make when you're not even around to see my reaction, braindead moron.

Whatever, might as well meet up with her and the others at the guild.

Of course, it just had to be noon by the time I woke up. And because I used the last of my sunblock yesterday, that meant having to skulk in the shadows to avoid the harmful UV rays. Yup, nobody else in this stinking town has to deal with this annoying problem except for me. Sometimes I hate being the only albino.

Either way, I reached my destination and booked it indoors with as little exposure to the sun as possible. I spotted Megumin, a fried frog leg in each hand, racing up to me the second I was in her line of sight.

"Jack, you're awake!" she cheered. "Perfect timing too, I need your help with something."

The small wizard gestured over to Darkness chatting it up with Sedol, Heinz, and Galil over a drink. "Darkness is being super stingy: she won't let me have any alcohol! She says I'm 'not old enough', can you believe that load?"

My blonde-haired teammate overheard the kid venting and inadvertently came to my rescue. "I do apologize, Megumin, but the legal drinking age in this county is fourteen. I only want to make sure you don't get in any more trouble with the local guards."

"Aaaayyee – Hic – it's The Cracker Jacker!"

Unlike certain drunk deadbeats.

Aqua haphazardly draped herself over my neck, much to my discomfort. Though my libido may say otherwise, my personal bubble was heavily inclined to disagree. The blue-haired dope then took a big swig out of her mug only to belch immediately after.

"Leave it to you to get drunk right before lunchtime, Aqua..." I mumbled despite knowing she wasn't listening to a word I was saying.

As the drunken goddess failed to whistle a jaunty tune, Luna gathered everyone's attention by loudly clapping her hands. "I have an important announcement to make. Due to the events of yesterday, the Axel Town Adventurer's Guild has reserved a special reward for both Satou Kazuma and Jack Spicer's party."

That certainly got my attention! Before I could get the busty receptionist to spill the beans, a vaguely familiar gruff voice spooked the living daylights outta me.

"Who would've thought you lot could take down a leader of the Devil King's army. That's quite the impressive feat."

It was the buzz cut mohawk guy giving us a thumbs up from within a dimly lit corner of the room. "I believed in the radiance inside of you guys from the very start," he said simply.

"The radiance inside?" I parroted back. "What does that mean?"

" 'A light to shine on the gates of Hell'," Mr. Mohawk quoted before slinking away into the crowd. "At least, that's what the legends used to say, anyway..."

God, I hate purposefully vague riddles. Just say want you want to say, don't make me have to take a stab in the dark!

Before I could try to decipher what he meant by gates and legends, a random adventurer a couple tables away singled me and Satou out. "He's right! If it weren't for them lads, we'd never would've beaten that Dullahan! Three cheers for Jack and Kazuma's parties!"

That got everybody in the building to go wild real fast. By sheer happenstance, my team and I managed to kill off a high-ranking official in the Devil King's army, and now we were being praised for it. This had me rather conflicted.

On the optimistic side of things, it honestly felt pretty damn amazing to get recognition for my hard work. I still remember how I got sidelined on my arrival in this world. Back then, Aqua was the talk of the town, and I was chopped liver. But now I was finally getting praise from outside sources. These weren't robots or monkeys cheering for me, these were real people appreciating my talents.

But with that said, this was not the kind of admiration I wanted AT ALL! In fact, it was the exact opposite of what I expected to happen! I wanted to be feared as a dangerous rouge hellbent on crippling the Devil King's army for my own nefarious gain, not loved as some lame-ass do-gooder! I'd rather Satou be seen as the hero and me as just some guy who participated. I've got a reputation to keep!

Sadly, my cries of protest couldn't get through to these cheering idiots. So now what, does this mean I'm going to be seen as a small-town hero from here on out? Fuck me, it's always one step forward and two-hundred steps back. This is all your fault, Eris!

Luna blew a sharp whistle with her fingers and immediately got everyone to shut up. She smiled and said, "For the contributions of both parties, we here at the Adventurer's Guild are offering a complimentary reward of 300,000,000 eris each!"

Forget what I said about Eris – she and her money rocks!

"OH, OH! Since it was my magic that killed him, most of the proceeds should go to me!" Aqua boldly claimed.

"Talk of money sobered you up real quick, didn't it?" I said to her. "Also – SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL!"

After Satou and Yunyun were given their reward, Luna came to me to hand over our respective paycheck. It may not be much compared to what I normally get as a monthly allowance, but the equivalent of ¥300,000,000 wasn't too shabby- -

"Uh, Luna? I think there was a mix-up in upper management. You gave me a bill for 305,000,000 eris in damages."

Luna began wringing her hands. Not exactly reassuring body language from what I gathered.

"I'm truly sorry. You see, the flood Aqua summoned did do a substantial amount of property damage…However, defeating a Devil King commander is an incredibly big deal, so I won't ask that you pay back in full. Just a small portion is all."

Oh, just a small portion you say? Alright then, I can part with 10 eris. That is a small portion by definition.

But before I could have a say in the matter, a hearty slap on my left shoulder made me jump. I craned my neck to see Darkness standing behind me. Her face could be best described as disappointed yet hopeful if that makes any sense.

"Well, we do have 5 million eris on top of our 300 million eris reward. I think it's only right if we back the debt in full."

Dark, baby, no. Please don't do this to me.

"O-oh!" squeaked Luna, "How selfless! Thank you so much! You don't know it, but you've just saved me from an ungodly amount of paperwork tonight."

Our 300 mil and my personal 5 mil!? There's no way the others are on board with this- -

"ALAS! Our reward 'twas no meant to be," sighed a melodramatic Aqua before speaking normally. "I suppose it is the right thing to do. But I call dibs on our next quest! I'll make sure it has the highest bounty possible so we can make back our profit!"

"It seems our bloody journey of magic is only getting started!" added Megumin excitedly. "Let's make this next quest an explosive one!"

Crap, three against one. Now we have to file for bankruptcy all because of something that blue bitch did. That's it, I'm done.

"Hmm? Jack, is something wrong?"

I wasn't listening to who said that, and I didn't care. I stormed outside the guild and plopped myself down on the first step. I had this thing planned out in my head where I was gonna march all the down the stairs and mope on the last step, but there was more shade near the front doors. The sun just won't let me throw my pity party the way I want it, can it?

Speaking of which, someone came out to sit next to me, completely ruining the "being alone" part of the deal.

I sighed, "Go away, Megumin, I'm not in the mood…"

"What's your problem, huh!? You just walked out on us and didn't say a word!" she snapped. "No one likes a guy with a stick up his ass you know."

"Yeah? Well I don't want people to like me, I want people to FEAR me! As a legitimate THREAT!" I snapped back, making sure to face her to emphasize my point. "Ever since I came to this world, I have done everything to make it abundantly clear that I am not a good person; that I am an evil teen genius who shouldn't be taken lightly. And then this shit goes and happens! But hey, that's just been the story of my life, so why bother trying to rewrite the manuscript now, huh!?"

I huffed and slouched even further, sticking my chin into my folded arms as I stared dejectedly into space.

"...Nobody gets me, that's the problem. You say you want to rule the world with a burning passion, and then they laugh at you, because they think you're joking. And that you, yourself, are a joke. If I can't do something as simple as convey that I'm a jerk...well then where's my worth…?"

I felt a small hand tap me on the shoulder. Reluctantly, I looked over at Megumin. Her body was turned toward me, and not since discussing Explosions has she ever looked this serious before.

"Don't say that about yourself," she stated matter-of-factly. "You do have worth, and I know you're smart enough to already know that. Who cares what others think of you? Screw them! You know who you are and that's all that matters in the end. Never let the opinions of others bring you down, or you'll never get anywhere in life."

On that surprisingly hopefully note, the Crimson Demon's tight-lipped mouth turned into a cheeky, lopsided smirk. "Plus, if it's any consolation, I think you can be a jerk."

I blinked. Barely able to contain my hopeful excitement, I smirked right back at her. "Oh yeah? Is that so?"

"Oooh yeah, you can be a real ass when you want to. Like walking out on your own party for instance."

"Or all those times I called Aqua an idiot."

"Or when you snuck a thumbtack in Kazuma's seat!"

"And let's not forget how I totally stole his thunder yesterday! Did you see me out there? I was all, 'HI-YA!' and he was all, 'I'm down!' I didn't even know I had it in me!"

"Yeah, me neither!"

We laughed on the steps of the guild for a good while before eventually keeping it down to only a few chuckles. Our sides were sore, but we had fun doing it.

"Hey, Jack? If you're feeling up for it, you wanna come with me on my next Explosion run later today? I thought we could blow up the rest of Beldia's castle as a way to stick it to his ghost. Thought that might help you unwind after that big fight."

"…I think I'm down for an Explosion palooza."

"Awesome...Anyway, we should probably head back inside now. I, uh, kind of already promised Aqua and Darkness I'd bring you back in. Heh..."

"I'd make a sarcastic remark, but honestly, my butt hurts from sitting on these steps for so long. Let's bail."

Megumin and I sat up and got our aching keisters indoors. And as I tried in vain to soothe my rear end, I thought about all the times I was huge jerk to someone. The kid was right, I really shouldn't be all that concerned about what others think of me (unless they're evil bigwigs of course). I know that I'm a bad person deep down, and that's the end of the discussion as far as I'm concerned. It really goes to show how frighteningly intelligent Megumin can be.

The masses can think I'm a hero all they'd like. I'll prove them wrong sooner or later, oh-ho-ho just you wait…

"Hey, um, guys? Can you wait up for a second?"

It was late into the evening and the sun was about to give welcome to the moon. Jack had already went home a while ago to "fix his babies" as he so strangely put it. I assume he was referring to those metal golems he made. I should ask if I can watch him build some, they're really cool. Not Explosion magic cool, but cool nonetheless.

We were out on the street, reaching the fork in the road that would lead us to our separate routes. Aqua's path would take her to the stables with Jack, Darkness' would direct her to the hotel she was booking at, and mine would take me outside the town walls to my makeshift campsite. The rent at the apartment I'd been staying at since coming to Axel was getting too steep and I needed to save my funds. It's not much, but neither was home back at the village.

However, before we parted ways for the night, I had something I needed to get off my chest.

Aqua stopped herself from progressing and twirled around to face me, putting her hands behind her back as she did so. "What's on your mind, Megumin?"

Darkness halted as well and asked, "Are you still out of it from your daily Explosion? I can carry you back to your tent if you need- -"

"No, no, it's okay. I have enough strength to make it back on my own. It's just…well…"

The two party members who I've come to know as my friends waited patiently for me to spit it out. They seemed to be curious about what I had to say. So, I braced myself and just said what was on my mind:

"What if Jack means what he says...?"

Now they seemed confused more than anything else. I don't necessarily blame them, I'd be confused too if I were in their shoes.

"I beg your pardon?" Darkness asked with a raised brow.

"What I'm trying to say is, what if Jack is serious about wanting to rule the world?" I hesitantly clarified. "It's stupid, I know, but I can't shake this lingering doubt that there's some truth to what he says. When I went to console him this morning, he vented to me about how he was frustrated nobody viewed him as a serious threat. And he sounded so...sincere when he said it."

It was hard to look them in the eyes when I told them that. I admit that the whole thing sounds absurd, but I can't help but be a little worried about it. Jack may be a douche at times, but he's shown that he has a soft side. The dude doesn't realize that he wears his heart on his sleeve much like Yunyun. He's very much capable of being an honest-to-Eris good person. So to hear him be so willing and eager to throw all that potential away is…well, kind of disturbing actually.

What if our leader really was deadest on conquering our world...?

Aqua spoke, "Oh relax, girl! It's just Jack being Jack! Remember when I gave you that crash course on the concept of chuunibyou? Well, that's exactly what he is: a shut-in chuuni! Your entire culture is built upon that lifestyle, so you of all people should be able to recognize it, even if you can't explain it."

I mean…Yeah, she does make a strong point there. I almost mistook him as a long-lost member of the clan when we first met.

Darkness added to Aqua's rebuttal by saying, "Right, and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you admit that you also wanted to usurp the Devil King as well?"

"Well, yeah, but I was young at the time and didn't know better. I just like the idea of owning the title more than actually taking up the mantle."

"True. However, it's quite possible that Jack simply hasn't grown out of that particular phase just yet," Darkness theorized. "He is still a teenager after all, he's at the age of self-discovery. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he one day dropped his ambition of wanting to become a heartless dictator without mercy…although a small part of me would die on the inside…"

"So you see? There's nothing to worry about," said Aqua confidently. "All the big baby needs is more sleep and he'll be fine. Come to think of it, you should probably get some rest too if that's what you were fretting over."

My friends were right, I was worrying over nothing. Maybe not getting the chance to unleash a glorious Explosion on a general of the Devil King's Army affected me more than I thought. Oh well, there are still seven generals left out there somewhere. I'll collect my due eventually.

"Yeah, you're right, sleep is probably just the thing we all need right now. Goodnight Aqua, goodnight Darkness. See you all in the morning."

We bid each other goodnight and traveled down our respective paths. As I gazed upwards into the first star of the night, I reflected on my previous doubts regarding our eccentric leader, now giggling at my bold stretch of a claim.

"Heh. Jack, an evil world conqueror. How silly..."