Tres and Quattro waded through the ocean of people that flooded Splatsville's main square, steadily making their way to Ammo Knights that was just down the street. Along the way, they kept their ears open to the rumors floating in the air. Cliques of young teenagers chattering gossip from their loose lips and random passersby speaking their mind of yesterday's event painted an increasingly polarizing picture of their situation.
Everyone was talking about Shiver's freakout. There were speculations abound about what it could've meant, the most obvious of which was that she was suffering from celebrity burnout and finally cracked under the pressure of stardom. Others were not nearly as kind with their theories, believing Shiver to secretly be a self centered diva who was purposely sabotaging Deep Cut to avoid collaborating with the Squid Sisters and Off The Hook.
And that was without taking into consideration the suckling nor the Octarian's perspective on things. To put it succinctly, the former subject had birthed some rather... unflatteringly salacious rumors about Shiver's personality (that Tres was adamant were outright lies at best and malicious slander at worst) whilst the latter remained as perplexingly hostile and/or evasive about the entire ordeal as they've come to know recently.
But regardless of what others were saying, two things were for certain; folks had gotten it in their heads that the Seven Day Forecast collab might not happen due to this kerfuffle, which may actually come to pass if the team fails in their mission, and that Shiver wasn't going to be returning to the team any time soon, choosing instead to wallow in her own disgrace in quiet isolation.
Thankfully, Frye and Big Man were able to mitigate the severity of the issue somewhat during the Splatcast earlier in the day using the same stress excuse Marina had given, but it was clear that the team had their work cut out for them as the damage had already been done.
More so than they realize at the moment.
Wasting no time, Tres and Quattro barged through the front doors of Ammo Knights, taking delight in the breeze of the cool air that washed over the two of them as they approached the counter, minding the other patrons nearby practicing with their weapons in the indoor turfing range.
Sheldon whistled a jaunty tune as he busied himself polishing a brand spanking new range blaster he was going to put up on display when he noticed the two inklings approaching him. He set both his rag and the blaster down as he turned to greet his customers, straightening out his ascot as he did so.
"Salutations, valued customers! Welcome to Ammo Knights, the one stop shop for all your turf war needs- Oh!" He looked surprised as his expression morphed into a warm smile. "If it isn't Quattro and Tres. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. How goes it, my fellow comrade in arms?" greeted Sheldon as he saluted his fellow agents.
"Heh heh. At ease, Sheldon. We're doing fine," Quattro chuckled, mock saluting back at him. "Sadly, we don't exactly have time to exchange pleasantries. We're here on business."
"Ah, do you mean business, or..." Sheldon briefly checked to see if anyone else was listening in on their conversation before leaning forward and whispering, "business?"
Quattro rolled his eyes, "Both. Tres and I are currently on a mission. We've got some things to discuss with you and to pick up my custom dualies."
"Right, I just finished tweaking those the other night. Lemme run through the back real quick." Sheldon zipped to the back room of his store before quickly returning with a pair of sleek looking black and green dualies in tow. They gleamed with a glossy luster and were adorned in all manner of worn stickers with fraying edges. "One pair of custom dualies, fresh from the workbench and ready for the field. Try not to push them too hard this time, Quattro. Dualies aren't exactly known for being rugged."
"I'll keep that in mind, but no promises," Quattro smiled as he picked up his weapons. He gave them a quick twirl, refamiliarizing himself with their weight and feel before stowing them away in his bag.
"Jeez, do you think you could fit a few more stickers on that thing?" Tres quipped, crossing his arms. Little buddy hopped up onto his shoulders and parroted the motion, shooting the other inkling a quizzical look with his bulbous offset eyes.
"It's called having some style, rookie. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from me," Quattro smirked.
"And what's wrong with my Riot Stamper, gyuppie?" Tres harrumphed.
"Tres, how do I say this in a way that doesn't come off as offensive?" Quattro began, placing a hand on his chin. "That thing looks like the result of a Salmonid Maw eating a pile of scrap and plopping it back out through the other end."
"Yeah, last time you showed it to me I could feel myself catching tetanus," Sheldon remarked, shuddering at the memory. "So many rusty bits..."
"It's what's on the inside that matters, and my Riot Stamper has all the best gubbins I could salvage out in the Splatlands. She's a mean, stubborn gal, pretty as a scar on the captain's tentacle but she gets work done all the same," Tres retorted. "Look, we can stand here talking about how awesome my weapon is for the rest of the day but we've got a serious matter to deal with. How up to date are you on the latest gossip, Sheldon?"
"About as well as any other shopkeep around here, I guess," Sheldon shrugged. "We pick up just about everything under the sun, unless you want to know about something specific?"
"You mean you haven't heard?" Quattro raised a brow.
"About what?" Sheldon asked bemusedly before realization flashed upon his visage. "Oh! I assume you're referring to Shiver's freakout on the Splatcast?"
"The very same, unfortunately" Tres frowned.
"How could I not? It's all the hip squiddos are gabbing about today. Boy, talk about, and pardon the pun, jumping the shark, wouldn't you say?" He let out a hearty laugh.
"Heh heh..." Quattro chuckled dryly, clearly not amused. "You're a regular comedian, Sheldon."
"Ah, come on. Nothing? That was comedy gold," Sheldon knitted his brow.
"This is serious, Sheldon. Look, I'll try to explain everything as best I can," said Tres, looking him dead in the eye. "You weren't there, but something happened in the studio a few days ago.
Shiver and I were hanging out together when she performed some kind of strange taboo Octarian ritual on me called the suckling by accident. There was some panic from Shiver, some screaming from Marina and a whole heckuva lotta confusion from everyone else, but in the end we decided to keep things to ourselves... At least until Big Man mistakenly blabbed about it on the air, which has led to some annoying complications.
Now we're sacked with a major problem. Shiver is so ashamed of what she did that she's gone into hiding. We could very well lose her completely unless we figure out the truth about the suckling to see if we can reverse it before our investigation and more hits the wall. That's our mission, that's what we're dealing with and we need your help."
"...Wait, is that what the suckling is, an Octarian ritual?" Sheldon looked bemused, squinting his eyes. "It sounded to me like it was a local delicacy or something. Like egg rolls or a sandwich."
"Seriously, that's your takeaway from all that?" Quattro raised a brow as a look of incredulity formed on his visage. "Not the obvious fact that we could lose a valuable teammate or that losing said teammate could irreparably stall our operations out in the Splatlands?"
"Heh heh. Well, when you put it that way," Sheldon smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "In any case, you have my full support. The NSS leaves no one behind, squid or octopus! That being said, I could stand to have some more context about the situation. I don't even know what the big deal is about this suckling thing."
"That makes three of us," Quattro sighed, resting himself up against the counter.
"It's the main reason why we're here," Tres explained. "All we know about it was what Marina was willing to reveal to us non-Octarians, which wasn't a whole lot, mind you."
"From what little we understand, it's some sort of holdover from their formative years as octopus that they haven't been able to evolve past," Quattro added. "And, get this, apparently the idea of the suckling is known to every Octarian out there due to their unique genetic memory. This thing is built into their very DNA. It's bonkers."
"I'll say," replied Sheldon, his expression one of deep thought. "This is all so very fascinating."
"Fascinating to you, but a pain for us," said Tres. "There's some sort of strong cultural stigma surrounding it, hence the taboo. For reasons we've yet to understand the suckling is considered an act so heinous Octarian's feel the need to ostracize the offending party. You may not realize it, but every Octarian from here to Inkopolis has basically cut her out from their society as a whole. She's a pariah to them."
"That sounds... extreme," Sheldon blinked.
"Funny, we thought the same thing," Quattro sniffed. "Regardless, the good news is that everyone else doesn't care about it. The bad news is that the rumor mill is working overtime and it's causing all kinds of problems for us that we're just not equipped to handle all at once. Truth be told, I doubt Kuki was confident in her plan, but she needed to put on a brave face and slap something together on the fly to keep the situation from spiraling out of control. Of all the things that we've come across in our times as agents, this has by far been the most aggravating."
"I think we've babbled on enough," said Tres, impatience laced in his voice. "It's time we got down to brass tacks. Judging from your reaction, Sheldon, I see you're just as clueless about the suckling as we are. Which is why we're hoping you might have picked up some things here and there from your customers that we can use to deduce the nature of the ritual. If you can tell us anything, anything at all, it would help us no matter how irrelevant it may sound."
"Hmm..." Sheldon scratched at his head and really focused on the question. "Well, most of the gossip I've heard about Shiver is all over the place. They sound like made up nonsense for the sake of made up nonsense. And the ones that are consistent are, ahem," he blushed profusely, turning red as a tomato as he coughed into his hand, "quite saucy. Though, I can still tell them to you if you wa-"
"No!" Tres exclaimed, shooting his hands up in a panic as everyone in earshot recoiled at his sudden outburst. He forced himself to suppress the blush that threatened to color his cheeks, only to fail miserably as he started glowing a pale yellow. "No, no, no. T-that's fine. It's probably not important. At least I hope it isn't..." He muttered the last part beneath his breath, struggling to regain his composure. "Is there anything else you heard that sounds important?"
"Er, uh..." Sheldon composed himself, bringing a hand up to affix his goggles back into place before continuing. "You see- Wha-? H-hey! Hey!" He cried suddenly, shifting his gaze over to Little Buddy, who had broken away from Tres and wandered over by the nearby weapons rack during the conversation.
"Gwack! Gwack! Gwack!" Little Buddy gargled. Somehow, the Small Fry had managed to get a hefty trizooka off the shelf without disturbing anyone... and got it halfway down his seemingly bottomless gullet. Guttural noises and other discomforting mouth sounds escaped his throat, his little silver fins flailing wildly about as he attempted to feast upon the massive weapon, forcing the boys to cut their conversation short and deal with the new threat.
"Little Buddy, no!" Tres scolded as he grabbed onto the Salmonid's misshapen distended body while Quattro and Sheldon grabbed onto the trizooka, attempting to yank it out of him. "Bad, Little Buddy! Bad! What did I say about eating other people's things!"
"Gwack! Gwack!" Little Buddy retorted, flapping his fins like a bird flaps its wings.
"W-where does it all go?!" Quattro questioned, gawking at bewilderment at the Small Fry as he yanked on the weapon with all his might.
"Spit out my beautiful trizooka you miniature menace!" Sheldon shouted, heaving with all the might he could muster in his noodle arms. "You could've eaten one of the splattershot pros, nobody uses those!"
Eventually, after some careful finagling and a lot of straining, they managed to retrieve the trizooka before it could be fully consumed. Tres continued to scold Little Buddy further for his naughty behavior as the Small Fry looked downcast, feeling sorry about his actions. All the while Sheldon sat by the corner of the weapon wall, tenderly cradling the trizooka in his arms like a newborn, rocking back and forth as he soothed the traumatized weapon.
"Shh... It's okay now, you're safe. The terrible Salmonid can't hurt you anymore," Sheldon cooed as he gingerly wiped away the viscous spittle that coated the weapon's surface before hanging it back on the rack, shiny and clean. "There we go, all better now."
"I'm really sorry about that, Sheldon," Tres apologized, picking up Little Buddy and holding him under his armpit. "I normally know when he jumps off my pack."
"What the heck was that about?" Quattro asked.
Tres sighed, gently scratching Little Buddy behind his bulbous eyes as he spoke, "I sorta rushed out of my shack to get an early start on the mission this morning. I must've forgotten to feed Little Buddy before I left. You're a hungry little guy, aren't you? Just a hungry little goober," Little Buddy chirped happily in response as he leaned into the scratches. "We should probably pick up a snack for him before he starts eating anything he can get his grubby little mitts on."
"Do what you have to, just him away from my weapons," grumbled Sheldon. "Now, as I was saying before we were rudely interrupted," he shot a quick glare at the Salmonid, who didn't notice or didn't care about the pointed look he was receiving, "there isn't much else I can share at the moment that I think would help your mission. That is, unless you want to hear all the edgy theories about the suckling I overheard from some young adolescents?"
"Theories from teenagers about their favorite idols? Yeah, hard pass," Quattro deadpanned, shooting the suggestion down without a moment of hesitation. He'd been a teenager once, he knows how cringe inducing they could be. He let out a heavy sigh and turned to leave with Tres, "Well, thanks for trying anyway. We appreciate the help. Come on, Tres. Let's see if the other shopkeepers know anything."
"Now, hold on there," Sheldon piped up, stopping the pair before they could take another step. "Just because I don't have anything to tell you doesn't mean I can't help in other ways."
"Oh, yeah?" Tres raised a brow, intrigued. "What do you have in mind?"
"You're going to see the other shopkeepers, right?" Sheldon asked, adjusting his goggles. "Well, it just so happens that I've been building up my network of contacts in the Splatlands during my time here and, I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything, but I've got quite the enviable collection of connections. Bring me along, I can help with your credibility."
"You mean you want to go out on an active mission with us?" said Quattro, his expression one of curiosity. "I thought you were more the type to hang back and provide technical support?"
"Oh, I am. I know better than to put myself in harm's way doing field work, but in this case I'm willing to make an exception due to the nature of the mission," Sheldon explained. "I'm not going to be in danger so it's going to be alright if I tag along to provide support. And, also, I don't get many opportunities to hang out with you guys so I like to think of this as a rare male bonding experience between friends."
"Oh, that's it?" Quattro exchanged a look with Tres, who merely shrugged indifferently as he helped nestle Little Buddy back in his knapsack. They certainly didn't mind having more help, especially if Sheldon was volunteering himself. "You know, if you wanted to hang out with us, Sheldon, you could just ask. No need to beat around the bushes."
"Yeah, but, er, heh heh, I usually get nervous and chicken out at the last second," Sheldon chuckled weakly. "A-anywho, a mission that doesn't involve being shot at is perfect for me! Um, we're not going to be shot at, right?"
"That depends," Tres began, smirking mischievously.
"On... what, exactly?" Sheldon gulped.
"On whether or not you tick off the wrong Splatlandian," he concluded with a laugh.
"Right, the people here are more capricious than the ones in Inkopolis," Sheldon thought aloud.
"You know, it's because you say stuff like that he has to warn about the folks in Splatsville to begin with," said Quattro, rolling his eyes. "Look, we're glad to have you onboard, but who's gonna watch the shop when you're with us?"
"Hmph," Sheldon scoffed, a prideful glint twinkling in his eye. "You should know me by now, Quattro, that I've always got my bases covered." Raising his hands up to his face he sucked in a lungful of air and bellowed a mighty call to action, "Oh, trainee!"
His call echoed throughout the store, rattling the walls and disturbing the other patrons with the sheer power it exuded. Then, from behind the doors leading to the back rooms, a terrible rumbling could be heard emanating within. All eyes were drawn to it almost immediately and a palpable cloak of apprehension was draped over the atmosphere.
Plodding footstep, thunderous and heavy, thumped along the floor in a slow methodical cadence before coming to an abrupt stop. The doorknob began to rattle disconcertingly shortly after, turning with an audible click that sounded far louder than it had any right to be. The back door swung open with a skin tingling creak, revealing a towering shadowy figure standing in the doorway, obscured by cloying darkness and an ethereal fog.
The figure crouched down, took one step into the light and,
*BONK!*
"D'oh!" A freakishly tall and well endowed Octoling girl dressed in a double extra large Ammo Knights employee uniform yelped in pain as she stumbled over to Sheldon, rubbing at the sore spot on her head after bumping it against the upper door frame. She had a pale complexion and a disheveled mass of red tentacles atop her head that resembled fiery vines. A pair of goggles similar to Sheldon's were worn over her green and purple eyes.
"Ugh, I really need to have that door frame raised," Sheldon sighed, bringing a palm up to his face.
"Ya called me, sah?" The giant Octoling spoke enthusiastically with a thick Splatlandian accent as she smoothed out her wrinkled apron.
"I sure did. Quattro, Tres, meet my trainee, Gigantiana," Sheldon gestured to the Octoling who positively dwarfed him standing nearly three times his height and twice that of the agents. Tres and Quatrro subconsciously took a step back as they trepidatiously stared up at her, feeling small and inadequate in the presence of such an imposing individual. They now understood what it was like to be a Small Fry. "Gigantiana, these are my colleagues."
"It's nice ta meet ya!" said Gigantiana, bowing her head, being mindful of her surroundings and the stares she was receiving from her peers.
"Uh, Yeah, back at ya," Tres finally spoke, hastily bowing back.
"Er, pleasure to m-meet you" Quattro breathed, continuing to stare at Gigantiana with a slack-jawed expression.
"Quattro, don't stare. It's rude," Sheldon whispered before walking over to Gigantiana. "Anywho, Gigantiana, the day has finally come. I hate to spring this on you so suddenly but I'm going to be heading out on a very important business trip soon and I'm entrusting the store to you."
Gigantiana's eyes lit up at the mention. A wide smile curled on her lips as she stepped side to side in giddiness, causing the weapons to rattle against the rack. "Ya really mean it, sah?"
Sheldon nodded. "Absolutely. You've been a diligent trainee who's shown lots of initiative and a passion for the craft. I can't think of anyone more deserving of such an honor. I believe you've earned the right to manage the store in my temporary absence." He reached into one of his vest's many pockets and pulled out a small keyring that had the Ammo Knight's logo key fob dangling from it. "And now, the ceremonial exchanging of the store keys."
Gigantiana quickly snapped to attention, standing ramrod straight and containing her excitement as Sheldon handed her the keyring in an unusually meticulous and extravagant manner. He stepped several paces forward, spun around, bowed, then recited the Ammo Knight's code before handing over the keyring to Gigantiana, who could barely contain her excitement as she crouched down to receive the item. Sheldon then stepped back and exchanged a salute with her, completing the ceremony in a brilliant show of protocol.
"You are now the temporary manager of Ammo Knights, trainee," Sheldon cheered.
"It's an honor and a privilege, sah!" Gigantiana bellowed proudly, gripping the keys tightly in the palm of her hand.
"Alright, now that that's taken care of, we can be on our merry way," Sheldon turned to leave, only to be stopped by Quattro.
"Hold on, bud. This is an opportunity for us," he pointed to Gigantiana, who manned the counter with zeal. "Gigantiana is an Octoling."
"And?" Sheldon raised a brow at the mention of the obvious.
"And, she knows about the suckling," Quattro emphasized. "Go on, ask her about it."
"What? Why don't you?" Sheldon asked, taking up a defensive tone. "I understand you need information but as a consummate professional I can't violate the sanctity of a mentor-trainee relationship by probing her about something that is clearly sensitive to her people. I'm already on board to help you, but I will not open this can of worms."
"Alright, fine. I'll do it," replied Quattro, turning his gaze over to Tres, "...by telling the rookie to do it."
"What?!" Tres looked offended. "You're the senior agent, you do it."
"You're right, I am the senior agent. And as the senior agent I'm telling you to do it. But don't worry, I'll be here to supervise you," Quattro shot back with a cheeky smirk and a less than assuring thumbs up. "Come on, it's just a question. Where's that gung-ho attitude of yours all of a sudden?"
"Grr..." Tres snarled but conceded the point when he told himself he was doing this for Shiver's sake. Sucking it up, he walked over to the counter where Gigantiana sat, humming a warbly tune to herself happily as she basked in the glow of her new (temporary) managerial position. Even when sitting down she was a good head and a half taller than him at standing height. He had to crane his neck up to speak to her, "Er, hey. Gigantiana. You wouldn't mind if I bother you about something, do you?"
"Oh, hello, mistah Sheldon's friend. Come ta speak with da manajah?" She proclaims proudly, puffing out her voluminous chest.
"Y-yeah, heh heh," Tres mumbled nervously, mustering every last bit of willpower to maintain eye contact with her and looking quite awkward while doing so. "So, um, yeah. Here's the thing, I'm not trying to be rude or nothing, but, er, y-you wouldn't happen to know what a suckling is, do you?"
Gigantiana gasped dramatically, nearly falling off of Sheldon's chair, which was comically tiny in relation to her size.
She was taken aback by the question, almost predictably so. Her coloration began to glow and pulse wildly with a bright pinkish crimson as her expression flushed with an equally reddish tint. She began sputtering her words, barely able to form a coherent sentence and looking quite embarrassed as she rose to her full height, causing Tres to stumble backwards nervously against Quattro.
They both felt a pang of fear form in the pit of their stomachs as Gigantiana trained her gaze upon them, her eyes narrowing into threatening slits as a dark expression took over her visage.
"Dq'Olth'Tk! (Degenerates!)" Gigantiana hissed bitterly in her native Octarian. She then proceeded to step over the counter and effortlessly pick up the two Inklings by the collar of their shirt where they dangled helplessly several feet off the ground like a worm on a hook. Tres and Quattro shouted in unison, flailing about in a panic as she walked over to the door and casually tossed the pair out onto the street like yesterday's trash.
"Gah!" they cried as they rolled, spun and flipped to a violent stop, crashing up against a lamp post and leaving a bad dent on it. They both groaned in pain as the world slowly realigned itself for them after that wild ride. Little Buddy popped out of Tres's knapsack with a squeaky grunt, his eyes swirled with dizziness before passing out over his shoulder. All the while Gigantiana stood by dusting off her gloved hands, glaring at them with smoldering emerald eyes behind her goggles.
"You may be mistah Sheldon's colleagues but Ammo Knight's is a respectable establishment! No place for ya here!" She jeered, reeled her head back, cleared her throat and hocked a viscous glob of purple ink at their feet. "Dq'Olth'Tk! F'In'eS! R'Prb't! (Degenerates! Fiends! Reprobates!)" she yelled. "Y''ve mgsyha'h mgepah ahog ph'nglui ya lw'nafh. (I've never been more insulted in my life.) choHbe' jIvHa'wI' chuQun? (These Inklings think they can just say that to a girl like me?)" She fumed silently, her expression twisted in a furious scowl.
Sheldon stepped out soon after, taking in the sight of his fellow comrades scattered about on the dirty street of Splatsville in a tangle of limbs. In spite of everything he'd just witnessed, this little debacle only affirms his beliefs that Gigantiana will be able to handle her new managerial position just fine.
"Well, that was a thing," Sheldon mused as he turned to face the trainee. "Anywho, I'm going to head out now. I leave Ammo Knights in your care, Gigantiana. If you need any help at all don't hesitate to call me."
"You can count on me, sah! Have a wonderful trip, sah!" Gigantiana proclaimed with a salute, changing her demeanor from angry to amicable as easily as it would be to change her ink color. It made for quite the jarring juxtaposition when she gave her mentor a warm farewell and a courteous bow after handily tossing Tres and Quattro around like a rag doll mere minutes ago. She returned to her post afterwards, no worse for wear.
"I've never seen her that mad before," said Sheldon as he helped the others up to their feet. "I guess this suckling thing really is touchy subject to Octarian."
"Have you not been paying attention to everything we've been telling you?" Quattro deadpanned as he dusted himself off, rubbing at his sore neck. "Sheesh. I'm glad I never ran into someone like her back in Octo Canyon. My career as an agent would've been tragically cut short if I did." He turned to Tres. "How're you doing, rookie?"
"M'fine," Tres grumbled as he rolled his shoulders. He cradled Little Buddy in his arms, soothing the Salmonid before settling him back into the knapsack to sleep off the scuffle "The only thing that's damaged is my pride, and maybe a bit of my kidneys. I sincerely hope Gigantiana's reaction isn't a window into what lies in store for us during this mission."
"In any case, I'd say this adventure of ours has been off to an exciting start!" Sheldon beamed, pumping a fist in the air. "Onwards my comrades, we've a mystery to uncover!" He declared enthusiastically as he began marching towards the direction of the other stores.
The other Inklings trailed behind him, quietly cursing their predicament. It hasn't been that long and already they've taken some lumps. As if that weren't enough, something told them that Gigantiana was going easy on them, and that other Octolings may not be nearly as lenient with their reaction upon being questioned about the suckling.
"I hope the others are doing better than we are," Tres mumbled. Right then and there his sea cucumber phone vibrated. He idly reached into his pocket and flipped it open to see that he had received a text message from Frye. His heart sank as he read its frantically typed contents. "Oh, no..."
"What?" Quattro queried as Tres showed him his phone.
- TheE3lDeal: "SHIVER JUST QUIT ON US!1!11!"